Lightning
by KitKat Roar
Summary: Alternate Twilight. She never fitted in with anything. He was at the end of his immortality. A chance interception and their world is shifted irrecoverably as they find safety and comfort in each other, but fate has other plans...Read and Review, and give it a try!
1. Chapter 1

**MINDLOCK**

Was this what purgatory was?

How sad it is for me to envy them. They move around in dithering jerking motions through their mundane lives and have a set time over their heads. Their beauty is marred and blotchy filled with pasty sweaty smells and feels. Their odours can be inexplicably tantalizing or just as equally repugnant. How sad it is for me to envy them.

Sitting in this pathetic gymnasium; it is all I can think about. Having a set time and moving around with no thought to every action-it is all I want. It is my third week at Forks High, the second time I have been in this little town in two human lifetimes… and I can't say I appreciate the new changes. If there were giant wolves I could move about with a little fear; a little more emotion to everything. If there were humans who still believed in the old tales of men and women…? I could have more than admiring looks filled with lust. I could have suspicion and doubt. I could have _excitement._

_Is he doing okay?_

I nod once; a slow movement that could have easily been contempt to my surroundings but Alice understands. Jasper is barely managing but I have no idea why they want to _test _him… It is possible that he won't ever have it in control as we do. It is possible that he may need to feed a little more…

_Edward Cullen _

Reflex reaction. I turned to the sound of my name being called, though it wasn't being called just thought.

My eyes locked with the most astonishing pair of eyes I had ever seen. They were blue. The most intense blue and they seemed to give of energy, to have some source of other life that did not contain or limit itself to the body they were in. The blue was so vibrant that it seemed scorched with fire fuelled by the deep earth tone skin that surrounded them.

_God, Cullen can't just lay off for a second. All the girls are in love with him…has to give others a chance man_

I hadn't noticed that I had been staring at the girl or her staring at me until I heard Eric Norton's internal groaning. I tore my eyes from the hypnotic blue orbs and met Norton's own pale boring blue ones for a second. I quickly directed my eyesight back to my invisible patterns on the wall. My sudden shock had been too quick for the two humans to notice but Alice had noticed.

She gave me a questioning look and I shook my head slowly. If the others were here they would have questioned my sanity but Alice and I looked out for each other. The two freaks among freaks. Hearing thoughts and having visions of the future was not considered normal even with vampires.

_I hope she isn't already crushing on the Cullen freak, God she is so_** hot**.

_Her body looks good in these gym clothes. Hmm…_

The girl seemed oblivious to Eric's ulterior motives in being so helpful; telling her the history of The Cullens'. I listened in on her thoughts and found something I had never encountered in all my years.

Her thoughts, her mental tone and inner dialogue that dictated her surroundings to her _self_-it were absent. It was just images; flashing rapidly over each other in a speed I was sure was inhuman.

_What's wrong…? _Alice asked and I saw my puzzled expression in her mind.

"Nothing" I said softly, trying to scan through the girls thoughts again but this time encountering a low humming sound similar to the sound one gets when stuck between two frequencies on a radio. A white noise that made her mind slightly aching to peer into.

"Alright, everybody…" the coach says, arriving late and irritable at being around teenage awkwardness. "Badminton today, yay!"

"I see everyone has managed to get some rackets" he murmurs, breathing irritably and thinking about the sports highlights he was going to miss.

"Let's…" he begun looking around at the bodies crowded unwillingly around him. _Keep this interesting and quiet. Put this kids in different pairings… _

"Hi…"he said, peering at the girl with a strange mind as she tried to hide behind Angela Weber. "You must be the new girl?"

She nodded once, looking around at the curious stares and shifting further behind Angela.

"Danish…right?" he asked, squinting at the register in his hand.

"Danishka" the girl murmured, too low for even Angela Weber to hear her and she was right by Angela's ear. Too low for human hearing but I caught her low husky voice. It was rich and had an odd grate to it…

_She has interesting eyes, right_ Alice thought, watching me as I stared at the girl. I looked away quickly, smiling a little to her and trained my gaze on the floor instead.

"Danish, come to the front and lets partner you up" Coach Robson said, heaving and sighing in disdain. He put his register down ad motioned for her to hurry forward.

"We need to sever some of these biased _noisy _pairings" he muttered to himself. "You kid's need to get out of your comfort zone"

The girl frowned, looking wistfully at Angela who waved a little at her in sympathy. She had found a good friend in Angela…

_Cullen with the girl, Pricilla says the kids a" know it all"… bet he knows how to play…_

"Right, Edward Cullen" he murmured, looking up at me uneasily. It always bothered me how the teachers felt they had to say our names with the inclusion of the surname… I already knew where he was heading with this so I moved forward, towards the girl

"Partner up with Danish" he said, looking down his register again and began randomly selecting names. The children snickered at his lack of effort with the new girls name and she frowned again. All I saw from her mind was the image of me frowning as I walked towards her…

We walked in silence to one side of the gym, her following me in a stumbling blend of misplaced steps and shuffling limbs and stood in quiet-her bubble of silence I imagine as I was surrounded by her white noise filtered mind-and awaited the arrival of our Badminton foes.

A fleeting image of termites eating the wood of the gymnasium flipped easily through her mind-imagined termites I suspected and then a sad wistful tone. That was all it was-a tone with no actual voice-like a silent movie that was only dictated by a skilled orchestra.

I could vaguely hear Alice's shouting…internally…at her irritation at being split up by the coach. My focus was on the strange girl….

_Ahhh, I wish I was with Danish _Mike Newton, a generic boy mused.

He was not as yet imagining himself in love with her but found her unique physical structure something to be worshipped. Lauren Mahoney was his partner and I cringed at how easily I recognised her mental voice.

It had been a while since she had bothered me with her internal chatter. What a relief it had been when she had gotten over her misplaced infatuation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape her ridiculous constant daydreams. I'd wished, at the time, that I could explain _exactly _what would happen if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies.

I tried to listen in on the girls thoughts yet again, to see how she felt about the match…not that I really cared.

_I hate…_ it had been the first worded sound in her mind but it was short lived as the scratching sound hid her chatter and I got her very vivid imaginations scenario of the Badminton birdie whacking the back of the coaches head.

I watched her furtively as she flung her racket with disdain and obvious uninterest; not caring to run for the little plastic representative of a ball. She was frowning in the end, squinting her eyes slightly and sighing.

How strange she was; she hurried out of the P.E lesson in a stumbling flurry of uncoordinated movement.

"What are you smiling at" Alice asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know" I said, smiling at her. "Don't you have an art class to get to?"

"I do, don't I" she sighed. "When one can draw like Da Vinci…"  
>"Almost like Da Vinci" I snickered and she shot me a warning look as she skipped of to her art class.<p>

Biology would have been my favourite subject…if I had not done it a million and one times already. It felt completely implausible for one to be sitting in this fundamental of fundamentals biology class when one possessed a PhD in medicine.

I was nowhere near Carlisle's vast knowledge and impeccable finesse with the human anatomy's varying needs but this was painful.

I already knew what the teacher had planned for the first half of semester, naturally. The impending boredom of this fact had me recoiling and second guessing my choice for biology as a credit. Maybe I was not too late to change to Art…at least I would be in Alice's company. All it would take is for me to use my charm on Mrs Gerber, the schools receptionist, and I would be free.

Free from…

Danishka Nebari walks in and all my escape plans fall away. This would give me added time to decipher her strange mind; it had to be her fault I couldn't hear her thoughts clearly. In all my years my talent had never failed me and on this dreary day, a quiet girl from a big Texas town walks in and suddenly I have lost my hearing?

She was now coming to sit beside me, on the only open space in the laboratory. I was excited, besides myself. This would give me a chance to figure her out and prove…to myself, mostly…that this girl was just a girl.

No one would discover the secret fascination in me, for a human girl. I could imagine it now, what they would say and speculate. My whole family was concerned about my lack of a mate and this would be considered proof to some, Rosalie mainly, that I was slowly growing insane.

She sat down slowly by the stool. I wanted to inhale air through my nose. Her scent might hold the key, but it was not wise for me to do so. I hadn't hunted in two weeks. I felt nervous, and excited. It had to be because I was about to solve a nagging mystery. If school was like this every day, an adventure that had mysteries to be solved…I would smile every time I stepped through its doors.

Mr Crowley placed a book in front of her. He wanted me to explain what we had covered and get her up to date. I was already mapping out our conversation so I would find out more about her, her past.

I leaned in for the book, careful not to touch her in any way. Humans were uncomfortable with our coldness. I listened keenly for any sound she would make in her mind and I was rewarded ten fold for my efforts. A more distinct mental tone and formulated sentence. She was just a girl…

…_freesia with a hint of lavender and an underlying scent of the rain_.

Her thoughts started getting fuzzy, but before they were obscured from me I managed to piece together their flavour. She was noticing how I smelt. ..

_Not cologne…scent…weird_

She had just smelt my _scent._ This was almost impossible but maybe I was actually close enough for her to do this. Humans did tend to notice each other's personal scents. As her internal voice became muted, I saw an image through her eyes of a lady bug. She was in the forest alone and she was looking at this insect. This would have been normal if she were not about five metres away. I could tell it wasn't an imagination. She had done this recently. There were quick flashing images of similar things she had seen and smelt with supernatural proficiency before the background white noise in her mind started to get louder.

"Stop it" she whispered.

I backed away from her, wondering if she knew I had intruded in her mind. She was holding her head up and appeared to be in pain. She glanced at me once and smiled slightly. She hadn't known I had heard her thoughts I concluded. She had been chastising herself probably, but _why?_ She frowned again, peering at me uneasily before smiling shyly. I had to share this with Carlisle.

Or should I wait for more proof? They could question what I had seen and after all I was not quite able to access her mind. A feeling crept up inside me and I didn't understand it. I did not want to share this strange girl with them. It had to be about her mind- I wanted to be the one to decipher it.

Did she know that seeing five metres away was considered abnormal? She had to; otherwise she would have been in every Scientific Magazine by now.?

I peeked at her and saw that she was now grimacing in pain, her brow furrowed and nostrils flaring slightly.

Headache.

I realized that for me to hear anything from her I had to concentrate on her mind only. All other thoughts were not blocked from me but they fell away in the background. The more I concentrated the less clear her thoughts became and the more intense her head hurt. I was giving her a headache.

I cringed at the realization but my attempt to pull out was futile because the interest she held for me was too powerful. It would have to be stopped by the impending bell…

I was in my Volvo, my fingers tapping impatiently against the steering wheel at an inhumane tempo. I wanted to get home immediately. I had contemplated leaving the car keys on top of the left-front tyre- Alice would find them naturally. I could cut through the forest, change my clothes when I arrived at the house and inform Esme I was leaving early for hunting. The girl had to live in a house by the forest, how else would she have been able to go exploring?

That would actually make it easier…

The three passenger doors opened simultaneously and my four siblings piled into the car.

"Edward, why did I see you standing us up at school?" asked Alice from behind my seat.

"Yeah dude, we had to rush here. Alice said there was a possibility we would have to call Carlisle to get us…for appearance sakes" Emmett added. He was seated in shot gun, as usual, and had a quizzical expression on his face.

I rolled my eyes lightly but internally I was having a slight panic attack, if that were possible for vampires. Jasper was probably onto my change in mood.

"I want to go hunting early" I replied to both of them, keeping my eyes on the road unnecessarily.

"So you ditch us?" Rosalie hissed.

"You're in the car aren't you?"

"Only because Alice saw you before…"

"If you weren't stopping to check if every reflective surface conveyed your beauty accurately Rosalie, then…"

"Guys, cool it. Let's just forget it ok." Emmett sighed, fearing another epic Edward versus Rosalie battle.

I could still hear her thoughts of course and this had me gripping at the steering wheel so tightly it would have bent if it weren't titanium. Rosalie had boosted my car a few years back when we were on good terms.

The others thoughts were not about my selfish arrogant and inconsiderate ways, these were reserved by Rosalie. But I found myself frowning at how their thoughts had gone to question my mental well being.

_Can't be normal, living on animal blood AND not having a mate… of course he would behave this way_

Jaspers thoughts were mixed up over my lack of mate and living on animal blood for much longer than he did. I knew I couldn't tell them about the strange girl with the strange mind. That would confirm their suspicions. Alice was thinking of inviting Tanya over so that I would maybe show a bit more interest in the opposite sex.

Argh.

I was so relieved to be away from them when we arrived home. Guaranteed I could still here their thoughts and plots on discussing my strange behaviour; Rosalie wanted to ask Alice about my sexuality _again. _Emmett was more interested in his time alone with Rosalie tonight. My favourite brother, never thinking anything that he didn't want someone to know about.

I changed quickly, and decided that the best excuse for my odd behaviour would be the extra week I had gone without hunting. Blame it on being crabby. I was adverse at duping my family and hearing their thoughts always made it easier. I may have to wait for Carlisle to get home though. I would go hunting with him. I had to be sure not to make any actual decision otherwise Alice would nail me.

I found Esme in the kitchen, and I knew from the tenor of her thoughts that someone had told her about my odd behaviour and edginess.

_I'm sure it's just the added week away from hunting…_

I swiftly kissed her on the cheek and stood opposite her from the island. We never used the kitchen, naturally, and Esme was currently using the island table to organise a few of her décor samples. My mother for all intents and purposes and the one person who I knew would take serious concern over me. Not the snide Rosalie remarks or Jasper just needing someone other than him to fail at being a 'vegetarian'.

I went outside to stand by the encroaching forest at the far east of the house. Carlisle was a few minutes away and I wanted to leave badly. I tried to keep my thoughts away from the girl otherwise all was lost. If Carlisle saw me out side he would be quick with his greetings to Esme.

The black Mercedes came around the turn. Carlisle spotted me immediately and opted to park the car outside the garage rather than inside.

_Why the rush I wonder…maybe he wants to talk…it has been a while._

I smiled at him lightly in response to his thoughts. Maybe I could talk to him about the girl; in more or less the same words. Maybe he had encountered something similar. He would have told me though, I'm sure.

I waited for him as he went in to greet the rest of the family. I heard Rosalie tell him to keep an eye on me lest a lion prey on me. The added few minutes gave me time to formulate an excuse to go out on my own tonight. I didn't know where the girl lived as yet, so if Alice decided to check up on my future she would only see me walking through the woods nearest to residential areas. I would have to come up with a lie on why I had been doing this, but that was only for later.

Carlisle emerged in denim jeans and a grey sweater; his preferred attire for hunting. As the cold didn't bother us at all, he was somewhat over dressed.

"Are you worried the elk will notice you're impervious to the weather?" I jibed, pointing at his outfit.

_Esme had it out on the bed… I like it though_ he chuckled lightly and we made our way through the forest. Carlisle moved slightly slower and seemed to not notice my need for speed. He put it off as my title as the fastest in our family. I wish he were as competitive as Emmett, we would be at the hunting grounds quicker!

"So, how was your day?"

Formalities were Carlisle's speciality. He truly was a father. He knew, obviously, about the car incident and I could hear from his thoughts that Rosalie had pressured him into lecturing me and Esme wanted to be sure I was ok.

"I was just impatient to get home and the others were dragging", I answered his thoughts, cutting to the chase.

"Carlisle, high school is monotonous… you cannot even begin to comprehend the utter torture it is…and they sought to extend an already dreary day?"

How far from dreary my day had been…

_Existence does do that to one…maybe something different…_

Oh lord, not him too! Carlisle was considering the Jasper and Rosalie's theory that I needed companionship. At least he didn't think I had lost interest in women…

"Carlisle, my family is all the companionship I need". I cut him swiftly and turned away from him, pretending to scan for elk and dreading the question he was formulating.

I had to play along of course, be the misunderstood son, or else just go home to boredom.

"Maybe you should take a visit to Alaska…change of scenery?"

No one understood why I didn't accept Tanya's advances. She was beautiful, had strawberry –blonde hair and she followed our strict no human-blood diet. Mostly they all summed it up to me being turned to young. This was something that Carlisle constantly felt bad about.

"Shall we hunt?" I sighed. "I will think about it later on".

Hunting was unsatisfactory. I liked the mountain lions but in my haste I settled for the less appetizing elk. They were easier to catch and much more uninteresting.

Carlisle was placing his carcass somewhere were wild animals would find it easy.

"I think I'll take a run…to clear my head".

_Ok son, be sure to come home to change for school though_

With that, I sped off through the forest in the direction of town. I reprocessed the image of the forest from the girls mind, trying to be sure that I found a similar setting. My spirits lifted up as I flew through the green forest. I had a secret escape from my inconsequential existence. I had something new and unexpected.

I felt alive.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: if you have read the many versions of this I have posted, well… I am hoping this is the final one and I am sorry for all the switches. I really like the idea of this story and want to get it right.**

**If you are just beginning, stick around if you can… its an angsty adventurous rendition of twilight with a slight twist. Hence the alternate universe. I am not sure I will put in any other p.o.v besides Edwards.**

**The original character is inspired by Katara from Avatar (love them blue eyes and dark skin contrast!), Nasuada from The Inheritance Cycle and random female figures I find interesting, beautiful and strong.**


	2. Chapter 2

**THE PINNACLE**

I found the house after five minutes of anxious searching: I was beginning to fear she lived on the Quileute Reservation. The house was a pale blue standard Forks structure. It seemed in desperate need for repairs and varnishing and would have been uninteresting if I didn't know who lived in it. It was thrumming to me, teasing my curiosity and with holding from me the most appetizing mystery.

The down stairs lights were on, and I could see from where I stood in the shadows of the trees, a woman seated in the kitchen. She was African-American with deep caramel skin and much taller than the girl. She had no real resemblance to the girl aside from eyes that held a vague similarity in shape. Her mother maybe, but she was too young.

I had hoped seeing a relative and hearing their thoughts would give me a clue about the girl. The woman's thoughts were clear to me, there were no odd sounds and her way of thinking was completely normal. Her eyes were a plain brown; no vivid blue or other worldly life came from them.

I scanned the down stairs area but the girl was not there. None of the upstairs lights were on either. I listened intently, and heard two heart beats-one that belonged to the sister and one that was up stairs. She was asleep. Her heart was beating in a slow hypnotic rhythm.

I closed my eyes and listened to her low steady breathing. It was a strangely relaxing sound; maybe because I had just fed, my instinctive nature to be aroused for the kill did not awake. I crept closer, remaining in the deep shadows of the trees. If I listened in on her thoughts, I would give her a headache but I was intensely curious about her subconscious. It may hold a clue of vital importance.

I stood still for ten minutes, debating with myself the morality of intentionally prying into her mind and the fear of leaving the proverbial stone unturned and her mystery being forever lost to me.

I heard the sound of a mattress squeaking lightly and a low sigh. Her heart beat had picked up pace and with it, my attention. She was awake. I felt like I had missed her. How odd. The light switch was flicked and simultaneously, a yellow light flooded the room from the far corner. It was a bed side lamp she had turned on. She was still in bed. Her room was facing the forest and this would make it easier for me to spy-no, not spy-observe her. I cringed internally at how underhandedly this situation was. I was unable to ask her out right about her supernatural tendencies without being figured out as a non-human but I had now resorted to being a peeping tom.

I knew this was not wise-that I should probably let it go. I didn't understand it myself but I felt this magnetic pull to solve her. The girl with the lightning blue eyes.

She got up from her bed and stretched, her arm going behind her head and her one hand fisting and punching into the air. I was captivated. She was sill in her clothes from earlier. She must have fallen asleep the moment she reached her room. I wondered sadly, if my inability to pull away from her thoughts earlier had contributed to her exhaustion.

Her eyes were half closed and she moved slowly to her door before disappearing from my sight.

_Ah, she's up. Finally. She had better enjoy this cheese and mushroom burger…_

Hmm, she was a picky eater and it irked her sister. She reappeared moments later in the kitchen and greeted her sister. It was very formal from the girl's part and she seemed irritated when her sister inquired about her day. I leaned against the tree absently as my curiosity got the better of me and the tree groaned against my strength. Would she share with her sister the biology incident? Was she irritated by the question because of me? I hoped desperately this was not the case.

"Ah, it was okay…could've been worse", she replied softly. I vaguely heard her mental voice pleading that her sister would 'drop it'.

"By worse, you mean blowing up a laboratory?"

I got a memory of a phone call from a principle from the girl's old school about a 'science accident'. The sister had thought that it was Danishka fault. Hmm, I should start referring to her by her name. Interestingly Danishka's thoughts implied that she had unintentionally caused the fire.

I could see Danishka cringing by the kitchen table. She was picking at her burger absently and occasionally lifting small morsels of the food to her mouth. Humans usually ate fast and sloppily, she was eating as though it was an effort.

"So, nothing out of the ordinary happened?" her sister asked impatiently. She hated how slow and softly Danishka spoke.

"Nothing at all".

The sister was satisfied and turned around to do the dishes. Danishka ate in silence and would frown occasionally. The only way I could hear her thoughts was to just skim through the surface layers. She wasn't satisfied with her meal. I chuckled, that would make two of us.

She lifted her head up suddenly, and peered through the darkness from her seat in the kitchen. I stood still, her gaze was in my direction and for a moment I thought she had seen me. I slinked further into the darkness and changed my position so I was more to her left and out of her line of sight.

There was no 'normal' way Danishka could see me in the forest. She had to have some form of inhuman senses or she had a sixth sense…like Alice, Jasper and I had had…that was latent in her human form.

She stared at the spot I had been for a second more, then shook her head and smiled. What I would give at that moment to know exactly what she had been thinking. I knew, in that instant, that I had to be careful in my…observing… as there was a possibility she would be able to spot me. This only fuelled a growing excitement in me. I smiled at myself, and whispered goodnight to the enigmatic girl when she returned to her room and switched the light off.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You have blood typing today" Alice sighed, peering at me from her seat at the back of my car. "You may want to be sick today"

We were off to school and all my siblings seemed more unwilling to go than most days. Rosalie and Emmett were making plans to ditch their English classes for alone time in the janitor's broom closets and Alice and Jazz had already 'foreseen' that they would have to endure. I would endure, I would prevail… because Danishka Nebari was an important lesson for the day.

"No, I will skip Biology then" I whispered back to her and she huffed a little before falling back into her seat.

_This high school thing is wearing thin on me_ she sighed.

They slinked of to their different classes and I headed to the library-we had been exceptionally late today with every ones unwillingness to go to school .Might as well be a good student if I was bunking… pretend to read something while I watch the girl through the minds of her peers.

I watched her through Mike Newton's mind-he was still debating with himself whether or not he wanted to date her. His ego over all things female irked me instantly. He waved at her and she shyly waved back before glancing quickly at the door when Jessica walked in.

"Danish" Mike greeted her, walking over to her from his seat. _Great, Cullen isn't here… freak_

"It's Danishka, Mike" she said softly.

"That makes a whole lot of sense now!" he said smiling at her. _Still a weird name though…_

"Aren't people from Texas supposed to be loud and peppy" Jessica accused, not feeling too comfortable with the attention Mike was giving her. _She is too quiet… weird eyes… Mike is just trying to make me jealous…_

"I guess that's why they kicked me out" Danishka said softly, pouting in an oddly alluring way; her lips quirking one side. It may be that I saw this because I was looking at her through Mike's hormonal mind…

Mike chuckled lightly and Jessica looked at him alarmed before laughing along with him. Both Mike and I were sure she hadn't got the joke…

"You're funny Texas" Mike chuckled, winking at Danishka. She smiled shyly at him and he stored that bit of information as a definite possibility that she was interested in him. How had he come to that conclusion?

Newton walked away from the girl as she shuffled of to out table. He watched her as she paused, looking at my empty sit and frowning. Oh, what I would give to the heavens to know exactly what her thoughts were on my absence!

She managed to ram into the corner of the desk-I was sure she bruised herself-and almost fell off her lab stool.

_Clumsy girl_ the teacher thinks as he watches her drop her books as she tries to arrange them on the table. _Edward absent…? Not like it will affect his grade_.

She was clumsy, I realised. Often moving at a slow pace as though she feared her own limbs and barely lifting her feet off the ground as though she thought it would cause catastrophic damage. She looked back once again at my empty table and I watched with the utmost concentration as her chest rose and fell in what I suspected was a heavy breath. She was disappointed. She was disappointed and worried that I was not there…

What a strange girl?

Mr Crowley announces that they would be blood typing and I watch through his eyes as he scans the class for any hint of excitement from his students; I watch as Danishka's eyes go wide and she looks around her in a baffling panic.

He moves to the first able with a pin and white card and pricks Bethany Grant's finger… of course it was harmless watching it from his mind; his senses where too dull to smell the blood or see the richness… but my throat still burst into uncomfortable flames as my imagination got the best of me and I envisioned myself there to truly appreciate…

_There is always one_ Mr Crowley sighs as he sees from the corner of his eye the strange girl with the strange eyes rush out; her brown skin ashen and eyes wide and fearful.

I was out of my sit immediately without much thought or understanding on what I was doing. I felt panicked as I tried to see from the Biology class's minds if she had been hurt… Jessica had seen her resting her head on the table as though she had been sleeping. Jessica's petty tone and resentment towards Danishka were making me a potential danger towards her!

Were had she gone… if she had been hurt and bleeding, I could make things worse. I immediately stopped breathing through my nose as I rushed in the direction of the biology class praying I would intercept her…

I could hear a rapid heart beat-was it her… but there was another quick heart beat moving in the opposite direction. Oh, I wished I had just smelt her scent this would be easier!

I saw her running-no, doing her shuffle walk in a more increased velocity-and the lump that had formed in my throat vanished. I stopped, watching her as she darted towards me…

She didn't see me or maybe I was too mesmerized by the odd emotions welling inside me-and the next thing I know she rams into me, falling backwards. I had my arms extended for her ready to apologize for my own idiotic behaviour…

She looks up at me from the floor, staring at my awaiting hand and frowns angrily.

"Why didn't you move?" she hisses, pouting and narrowing her eyed.

"You weren't watching were you're going!" I say, bemused by her sudden anger. "Or was I supposed to do that for you"  
>Rosalie's words fro many years ago of how my arrogance always got in the way of my chivalry at times-rang in my ears. I hadn't meant to say that but I felt embarrassed at having been dazed by her stumbling shuffle towards me!<p>

She glared at my hand and got up on her own. Dusting her self and wheeling on her heels, eyes darting about for something.

"Why weren't you in class, anyway?" she asked, not looking at me as she did a frenzied search for something. Her voice was still low but I realised she may have been just as embarrassed as I was at not paying attention to ones surroundings-or in my case paying too much attention to one object.

"It's healthy to ditch" I said easily, enjoying talking to her in her little fury dance. She looked at me from the corner of her eyes, avoiding eye contact and frowned before walking off.

I followed her easily as she moved; hands stuffed in the pockets of her jeans and hair waving around her as she turned her head this way and that way. I opted not to breathe, still not sure whether she was hurt…

She paused when she saw the water fountain, eyes going large and mouth parting slightly before rushing over to it. I watched as she pressed the little button on the base and caught the water in her mouth. She gulped it down twice before stumbling backwards, her hand going to her neck and _choking._

"_Danishka!"_ I hissed, moving to her too quickly and holding her carefully in my arms while patting her back lightly. She hacked a few more times and the oddness of the situation overwhelmed me. She was clumsy and danger prone…

She realized I was holding her and began struggling to free her self from my steady grip, tugging futilely at my arms and pushing uselessly to free herself.

"Hey, stop that… you'll end up on the floor!" I chuckled, before carefully letting her out of my hold once I was sure she wasn't choking or her legs had steadied themselves.

"My chocking amuses you?" she asked, peering up at me from her height, her hands balled at her sides angrily.

"Hold on there…" she was ridiculously funny, one minute too shy to talk and the next minute reacting like a cornered kitten-spitting and hissing. "Nice kitty… Choking on water, _why _would that be amusing?"

"It's only liquid after all" I added, unable to resist.

She glowered at me and then wheeled around, walking quickly away from me without a backwards glance. I caught up to her easily.

"Why weren't _you_ in class?" I asked her. "Thirsty?"

She slowed down and stopped, turning to look at me. She sighed-as though I was truly wearing her patience-and folded her arms defensively.

"They are blood typing" she stated, looking up at my face finally.

"And let me guess" I said softly, fearing my own hypothesis a little. "You don't do blood?"

This had to be the strangest girl ever. I needed more time with her, we had about fifteen minutes before the bell would go off for the end of the day. Today had been a half day thanks to refurbishing the classes so my time would be up… fifteen minutes; I had to make the most of it.

"How…" she began and then stopped, frowning again. Her thoughts were gone from me by now… just a slightly nauseating sound was all that remained if I tried to listen.

"How?" I asked, urging her with my eyes to continue.

"Uh, I just noticed you got contacts. They are nice" she said hastily.

"Contacts..?" I chuckled, a vampire needing _contacts_! "I don't wear contacts"

"Your eyes were black when I last saw you and now they are… gold" she said softly, moving a step closer and the heat of her body blooming around me. I had slipped up. I looked away from her and back to the twin doors that led out of the Forks High building.

"Do you want to be a healthy student today?" I asked her, smiling a little at her extremely perceptive eyes.

"My sister does complain I live an unhealthy lifestyle" she said softly, following me as I led us out of the building.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She paused momentarily and then sighed when she spotted her light blue ancient Mercedes. She began moving towards it and I panicked-reaching out for her hoody-and pulled her back. She wasn't going to leave me so soon…

"Wha-what are you _doing?_" she demanded, her voice coming out as a squeal.

"The whole point of me breaking you free of Blood Typing is so we can ditch together".

She frowned but allowed me to lead us to my car, walking slowly and huffing all the way. She paused by the passenger's door and looked wistfully back at her car parked near the offices.

"…I'll catch you and bring you back" I chuckled, and smiled at her wide expression at my correct guess. Her thoughts tended to be spelt out on her face, I realized.

She opened the door slowly and sunk dramatically into the seat before closing the door. She sat still, that side frown on her face and her arms pulled around her.

"Are you cold?" I asked, switching on the heater before she answered anyway, as well as the stereo.

She began humming along to Debussy, still peering out the window for her car.

"You know this?"I asked, slightly shocked.

"Yeah, my grandmother would play it for me when I had an e-uhm, when I was sad".

Grandmother? Well, of course she had a grandmother… why the hesitation… odd girl.

"You live with your grandmother?" I asked, watching her closely.

"Uh, no…my sister, Cindy. And you?" She asked. "Have you lived with Doctor Cullen all your life?"

Of course she would know by now about the mysterious adopted Cullen's…

"Most of my life, I can barely remember anything before him".

I could feel her eyes on me. A strange feeling of awareness I had never encountered in my immortal life; when I couldn't see my own face through another's eyes. How did she view me, cold and pale sitting beside her.

"Are you happy?"I asked her, startling myself with the depth of the broad question because I actually _cared _to know this.

"Yeah, happier than I've been in a while".

"Why did you come to Forks?" I asked her; surely Texas was a lot more exciting than this.

"Don't you want me here…?" she teased, avoiding the question and my gaze too.

"You are somewhat of a distraction to the blandness of this town" I chuckled. A distraction for me... a very captivating distraction…

She smiled freely and a dimple appeared on her left cheek giving her a very innocent look, her eyes sparkling and nose crinkling in a very adorable manner. I heard the receptionist prepare the announcements for the end of the day. My time with her was up…

"Oh, the bell…"I sighed, closing my eyes but feeling her eyes on me still.

"What bell…?"

The school entrance doors opened and Forks Washington's future adults piled out of the building. She whispered goodbye to me and exits the car.

This had to be the best day of my existence. As she left, I swallowed and let a breath out and inhaled finally-freely-after so long.

She was out of the car, but her scent remained. It perforated every molecule of air in a sweet peach, incomprehensible spice and floral scent. I had gotten away this far with my obsession. No; my mystery. But now, with my siblings heading for the car…I was found out. Caught red handed. Her scent was worth it, I concluded. Even more so, my day with her. Talking to her had been absolutely interesting..

They could call me mad; they could question my sexuality and push Tanya upon me. I couldn't find the necessary energy to be bothered by them. My mind was filled with images of her different expressions. She had smiled today; smiled because of me.

If I would decide to remain undiscovered in my insane criminal activities, I would have to drive off. Leave them truly stranded and this time I had more reason to do this. Any verbal or physical consequences of these actions wouldn't bother me. Not in my current intoxicated state. Maybe later when her scent was clear from my system…

Hmm, was I feeling this way because of her scent? Was her genetic makeup such that she was an intoxicating human? I knew it wasn't true…it was something else… and I felt afraid to delve deeper into the reason.

I could hear Rosalie's familiar thoughts shouting that I was a selfish idiot. They would arrive in ten seconds.

I caught an image in Alice's mind and recognised it to be a vision. She had 'seen' me and Danishka (my dead heart squeezed) sneaking out of school. How had I forgotten that she would see it? It had been a preconceived escape plan. The others must've been informed that I had been fraternizing with the humans. Well, that explained Rosalie's extra-dose of venom today…

I found comfort in the fact that they didn't realize exactly how enthralled I was with the girl. They just thought I was trying to prove my 'self control'…mostly.

The doors opened, Alice in shot gun today. They were staging some sort of sibling intervention. Rosalie thought they should do it old fashioned, and either beat it out of me or exile me. An involuntary chuckle escaped my closed lips. It irritated Rose. I irritated Rose. Hmm, one thing we had in common besides being vampires…mutual dislike.

"Edward..." Alice began, but I cut her off. She knew I would, obviously, and was smiling.

"She was ill and you know couldn't be in class today" I said, talking to the other three… Alice knew my speech already. "So I suggested some fresh air… no criminal offence Rose".

"We do not befriend humans…" Rose said icily.

"I was not attempting to formulate a friendship… I was being _nice_" I hissed through my teeth, turning my head inhumanely fast to glare at her. She was seated between Emmett and Jasper. Our faces were inches from each other and I could feel Jasper changing our volatile emotions.

I sat properly in my seat again, having been calmed down, and glared out the windscreen.

"I'm sorry Rose, really..." I said calmly "I'm sorry you cannot comprehend common etiquette."

That did it. I saw it a fraction of a second before she had reacted to her thoughts. All I had to do was shift a half inch in my seat and avoid having my head whacked.

We drove the rest of the way with Emmett's steel arms enclosing hurricane Rosalie.

Alice's gift made it hard to surprise her with anything but it also made her an intensely curious being. She hated not knowing things… especially secrets. She knew something was not quite right with me and had now decided to manage both Jasper and my self's future microscopically. As long as she didn't jump to far ahead in her visions, I was safe. All this meant was that I couldn't go observe Danishka.

I was counting on her only looking at my immediate future. It had been two days, and I had had to stop myself from talking to Danishka or watching her to closely. She was confused by my change in behaviour at first but then she adopted to ignore me too. I was in some sort of hell.

I sat in the car impatiently. The others would arrive in five seconds but it felt like hours. If you could move like a rocket you tended to have a different understanding of time and movement. For instance, that hour in biology felt like ten years to me. The things and thoughts that were entering my mind…

I had arrived early for the class today, not wanting to miss a single minute with Danishka… even if it were in silence. I had mastered the art of listening to her thoughts without actually listening. Unfortunately, this caused me to not quite understand what they were about as they come out in visuals that dissipated as quickly as they formed. I was trying to find out how angry she was at my change in behaviour. All I got were surface emotions; annoyance and confusion but nothing deeper. I couldn't exactly delve deep into her mind without her getting a headache. There was also the fact that she was incredibly shrewd for such a young human…

She walked in and narrowed her eyes at me before sitting down quietly. I had let my books; props-they held nothing I didn't already know-spill across my side of the table. Danishka didn't take hers out but opted for a note book that she began writing in. I was curious as to what she was writing about; maybe it was a journal or she was catching up with home work. I got nothing from her mind and I left it at that, my curiosity irritating me to no end.

Mr Crowley began with the register and noted that the new girl that the whole student body was focused on was not in. I got an image from Danishka's mind of a bear lurking in the corridors for the girl… her sense of humour always surprised me. I wondered if she would appreciate Hamlet as our next book…

That's when she walked in. Isabella Swan.

_Yes!_ Mike Newton thought as she walked in. From the place where Isabella Swan stood came nothing. The empty space where her thoughts should be unnerved me. What was going on with the Forks new arrivals? Unlike Danishka, Isabella was a mental mute.

Mr Crowley instructed Danishka and me to move a table behind. I was excited and nervous simultaneously. I moved quickly, wanting the girl to come closer so I could probe her mind. Did she have the same headache effect as Danishka?

Danishka managed to drop her pencil case; I had concluded that if she had extra acute senses, they would contradict her still _human_ reflexes and this had to be the cause of her awkwardness. I would've helped her but I was already seated and noticed that Isabella had moved to help her.

I noticed it first through Danishka's suddenly open mind; she smelt the girl. She acknowledged her scent in a very _vampiric _manner. She wanted to _taste…_ her mind had never been this open to me before, less _guarded _by the white noise. Danishka watched as the girl blushed inches from her face, her whole eing captivated by the Swan girl. She had stopped bothering with her stationery littered on the floor and Isabella had to pick the remainder o fit up.

_Some sort of smoothie_ her mental voice sighed hungrily. _Caramel and berry smoothie… with a hint of __**rust**_

I hadn't fed yet and the smell of it through Danishka's mind made my throat go dry. An after thought of how entirely _wrong _and _dangerous _Danishka's reaction had been emerged but was pushed away when Isabella took her seat… in front of the fan.

Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment. In that moment, I was nothing close to the human I had once been; no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd managed to cloak myself in remained.

I was a predator. She was my prey. There was nothing else in the world but that truth. There was no room full of witnesses-they were all collateral damage in my head. Why I couldn't hear her thoughts was irrelevant. Her thoughts meant nothing, for she wouldn't go on thinking for much longer.

I was a vampire and she had the sweetest blood I had smelt in eighty years.

I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist. If I had known, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine the taste…

Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated. The fresh flow of venom did nothing to dispel that sensation. My stomach twisted with a hunger that was the echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring.

The scent swirled around me, scattering my thoughts and nearly propelled me from my seat. My hand gripped under the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair. The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut and I felt the splintered pulp in my hand.

If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with her before the humans would react. The humans would scamper about and it would be more difficult and slower to try and take them down when they were panicked and moving in chaos. Not impossible, but it would be much more difficult.

And her blood would cool while I murdered the others.

The scent punished me, closing my throat with a dry aching.

So the witnesses first then…

An image of red eyes came vaguely from the mind of someone seated beside me. a mind that was never really clear to me… the mind with the scratching background sound.I turned instantly to the human; I had been figured out. It was Danishka's mind that had flipped through the image of a red eyed man-her eyes were a very dark cobalt blue, they almost appeared black. It was Danishka who had smelt this torturous scent from this inexcusable human. Danishka's eyes were wide, staring at me… with fear.

The girl, this _Isabella Swan_ had been saved. In fact, the whole class room had been saved by the look on Danishka's face sent me into a whirl wind of turmoil and guilt at what I had almost done; tarnished my family, ruin what Carlisle thought I was… become a monster I tried desperately not to be.

I pulverized the indents I had formed under the table and scattered the wood chips with my foot. The girls mahogany hair had formed a curtain to shield herself against my predatory gaze. All it had done now was send wave after wave of her hated desirable scent towards me…

I looked out the window, relishing in the freedom to come from this girl.

I went swiftly to the reception the moment the bell rang; I would try and fix it. She was there to, following me… looking for her death?

I had to leave that small, badly ventilated room immediately.

I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D.J Garret notice and then disregard it.

When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing but I was gasping at the fresh air like I had been suffocated.

"Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.

I just shook my head at her.

"What the hell happened to you", Emmett demanded, distracted momentarily, from the fact that Jasper was not in the mood for a rematch.

Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of the parking lot before Isabella Swan could follow me here too. My own personal demon haunting me… I swung the car around and accelerated. I hit seventy before I made the corner. Without looking I knew that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged; she couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming.

She looked further into my future, her eyes loosing focus. We both processed what she saw and were both surprised.

"You're leaving?" she whispered.

The others stared at me now.

She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and another choice spun my future in a darker direction.

"Oh".

Bella Swan dead. My eyes glowing crimson, with flesh blood. I thought of the image in Danishka's mind. The red eyes she was terrified of.

"Huh?" Alice exclaimed as the image lost solidity and shifted and swirled. Alice frowned and scrunched up her face to concentrate.

The first choice was clearer; I was leaving, but I made a pit stop past Danishka's house. She was seated by the kitchen table eating her dinner and her sister was with her. The image moved and I was speeding in Carlisle's car…. Then I was in the Alaskan forest.

It was too late for me to think about 'not' stopping by Danishka's house. I knew I would not be able to leave without seeing her. She was the reason I hadn't turned into a monster today…

"Why are you stopping by her house?" Alice asked, frowning. She now knew there was a secret I had been keeping regarding the girl.

"I'll miss you" Alice said suddenly, deciding to let the matter drop with a marker to bring it up later. "No matter how short a time you're gone".

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance.

We were almost by the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.

"Drop us here" Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself".

I was running two hundred miles an hour to the Denali clan. My mind harassed by thoughts of the girl with the sinful scent. The girl who's mind was silent to me. The torturous demon that had found me after eighty years. There was also Danishka…

Was she my angel then? No, she was not _mine_. I had now formed a possessive edge towards any thoughts regarding her. This was foreign to me. No one belonged to anyone. I laughed dryly.

I had not told Carlisle about her as yet even though the circumstances demanded that I be philanthropic about her… uniqueness. If they knew they would assume she was aware of what we were; I knew differently of course. She might speculate after the biology incident but she hadn't understood why the red eyes had reminded her of me. Or vice versa.

I couldn't leave her… just yet I thought. I would let her go the moment I knew exactly what she was. If I could just figure out a way of broaching the topic to Carlisle without seeming slightly obsessed…

I was five minutes away from the Denali clan…and Tanya's unwanted affection. She would definitely cause my stay to be a short one.

**DENY, RESIST…_OBSSESS_**

"It was hard, the most difficult thing I have ever done… I am still reeling from the fact that I managed to walk away".

This was the second play by I had given Carlisle of that Biology hour. I knew what he was looking for, and I wanted to tell him but it had to come out exactly right.

"so… you just took control of yourself?", he didn't mean for it to come out sceptical, but our very nature made it impossible to just walk away from the most potent blood ever smelt. Emmett had encountered something familiar… he hadn't had the strength to deny his nature. Emmett hadn't had someone there to wake him from the bloods hypnosis. He hadn't had a Danishka.

"Well, there is a girl-she is new to Forks-she was seated next to me".

_I don't understand son_?

"She is…_different _Carlisle". I said intensely. "I promise you, there is none like her".

Carlisle stood across me with arms folded over his chest. We were in his study at home; the others had gone out to do various activities… I had picked this moment to talk to him. There was barely any privacy with vampires.

He was thoroughly confused but patient with me. I continued:

"Carlisle, she smelt the girl before I caught wind of her scent. Maybe that's why it didn't turn out so bad to begin with; I was introduced to it before hand. This girl, she is different; she reacted to the scent the way a vampire would!"

Carlisle was looking at me strangely.

_I wonder, maybe he isn't well…_

"You have to believe me Carlisle! If not you, then I dare say who shall I turn to? I knew of this before Isabella Swan came to Forks; the girl has supernatural senses. I kept quiet of it for I feared this very reaction from my family…from my _father!_"

I turned away from him and let him mull over my outburst.

_Edward, listen to what you wish for me to believe… the girl, Isabella, I can understand that. There is always a human who smells sweeter to each individual vampire… but a **human **who smells blood and wants to drink it?_

"…and vampires in this world? Have you forgotten of werewolves and the Quileute tribe and their treaty? Who is to say there aren't any more non humans out there?"

"Edward, you're not talking of a non human, what you are saying…"

"Forget I said anything." if only vampires had such fickle memories.

I walked out of his office, frustrated, irritable…angry. Carlisle wouldn't say anything to the others; it was obviously not something I wanted him to do. He was, however, formulating another conversation in which he would try and convince me to take _another _short holiday in Alaska. The problem had to be in Forks.

I would not speak of Danishka again.

I was out in the forest, running, and I hadn't realized my feet had led me to her house.

I spent the night listening to her sleep; wishing I could sneak into her room and watch her. Her supernatural senses-she had them-would alert her in the morning of an intruder.

Was I mad? No, I knew what I saw in her mind, no one lied that good. Even the way she smelt, it was appealing, a sensually exotic scent…

I stopped my mind there; I had to stay clear from any thoughts in that dimension.

Morning came too quickly and I had to leave her and prepare for school.

_Where has he been… couldn't have been hunting, he hunted yesterday_

I knew Emmett was about to ask the question out loud; he wasn't one for quiet speculations and conspiracy and I was grateful for that.

"I went for a run and then I stopped by a quiet place in the forest to reflect on life", I answered him before he had to ask.

"You're such a girl…they had names for men like you in my day" he said, smirking impishly at me.

"You mean poet and philosopher?" I knew he meant sissy and some rather crude titles. I could never be offended by him; he never meant to hurt anyone-unlike some people…

"You'll be joining us" Rosalie said. I could tell from her mind that this was an instruction; she didn't want any more attention drawn to my absence.

Moving towns, states and countries was always harder on Rosalie. She took the human charade more to heart in some ways than the rest of us.

Everyone made their way to my Volvo, all their thoughts concerned about my return to Forks High-and Isabella Swan.

_You'll do fine_ Alice assured me as we entered the parking lot.

We were earlier than normal, my restlessness to combat the girls scent and prove my self control being the main reason. We sat in the car for a few more minutes when I saw the pale blue Mercedes pull up.

Alice was watching me, anticipating my reaction to Danishka.

_Why is he so interested in her?_

I avoided her gaze and moved to get out of the car. The others caught on and exited. We stood by the car awaiting the school bell. The others were paired up and watched a red truck approach.

_Sucks to be you_ Emmett offered his usual style of support.

The Swan girl parked next to her car. Danishka got out of her car especially slowly-to irritate me perhaps, for I was intensely curious to see her. Had she changed? Humans changed constantly, never stuck in one physical appearance. Their hair grew, it changed colour, they grew older and they got scars. Oh, no! She might have gotten hurt in my absence; her clumsiness would ensure that.

Jasper was watching me curiously. I ignored his thoughts.

Danishka didn't look up to where I was but stared at the ground, this frustrated me. I couldn't even go and talk to her.

She pressed her foot experimentally on the sleek ground. She wobbled slightly, caught her footing by leaning on her car but this set her legs at an odd angle and she slipped again. She caught the door handle in time and steadied herself up. She glared at the ground as though it had done that on purpose.

I chuckled lightly; it was so typical of her to think everything was out to get her.

Alice was watching me but I was having too much fun watching the girl

I now understood her slow and cautious behaviour; there were ice caps on the road. At least she knew her coordination skills made her an easy target for smooth surfaces to prey on.

She walked slowly around her car; her rucksack slung on her shoulder and went over to stand behind Isabella's truck. She appeared to be waiting for her. Interesting, had they become friends in my absence? Did they know each other? Were they the same…?

Isabella's truck was still on and it jerked slightly back.

"NO!" Alice gasped aloud.

I scanned her thoughts wondering if I was truly unable to stay away. But her vision had nothing to do with me.

Tyler Smith had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed. This choice would send him speeding across a patch of ice…

The vision came just half a second before reality. Tyler's van rounded the corner as I was still watching the conclusion that had pulled the gasp from Alice's lips.

No, this vision had nothing to do with me and yet it had _everything _to do with me, because Tyler's van-the tyres now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle-was going to spin across the lot and crush the girl who had become the uninvited focal point of my world.

Isabella Swan's truck had startled Danishka and she had jumped right into the vans impending path.

The girl, standing in exactly the wrong place at the back of Isabella Swans truck, looked up, bewildered, at the sound of the screeching tyres. She looked straight into my horror struck eyes, and then turned to watch her approaching death.

Still locked into Alice's thoughts, I saw the vision suddenly shift, but I had no time to see what the outcome would be.

I launched myself across the lot, throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl. I moved so fast that everything was a streaky blur except the object of my focus. She saw me-no human eyes would have been able to-but then turned to the hulking shape that was about to grind her body to the metal frame of the old durable Chevy truck.

I caught her around the waist, moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to be. When I heard her head crack against the ice, it felt like I had turned to ice, too.

But I didn't even have a full second to ascertain her condition. I heard the van behind us, grating and squealing as it twisted against the sturdy iron body of the truck. It was changing course, arcing, coming for her again-like she was a magnet pulling it towards us.

A word I never said before in the presence of a lady, slipped through my clenched teeth.

I had already done too much. As I had nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I had been fully aware of the mistake I was making. I was not oblivious to the risk I was taking-not just for myself but my entire family.

Exposure.

And this certainly wasn't going to help but there was no way I was going to let the van succeed in its second attempt to take her life.

I dropped her and threw my hands out, stopping the van before it could touch the girl. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then swayed, balancing unstably on the two far tyres.

If I moved my hands, the back tyre was going to fall on her legs.

Oh, for the _love _of _all _that was _holy,_ would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that could go wrong? I could hardly sit here, holding the van in the air, and wait for the rescue. Nor could I throw the van away-there was the driver to consider.

With an internal groan, I shoved the van away from us and moved the girl to my side-pulling her from under the van. Her body moved limply-was she conscious? How much damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt?

I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed on the pavement, all the windows shattering in unison. I knew that I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen?

She knew about the biology incident and now…

This question should have been my biggest concern but I was too anxious to care about the threat of exposure as much as I should. Too panic-stricken to think that I might have injured her myself, in my attempt to protect her. Too aware of the heat of her soft body, pressed against mine-even through the double obstacle of our jackets, I could feel that heat…

Her eyes were open wide, staring in shock.

"Danishka?"I asked urgently "are you alright?"

"I'm fine", she answered automatically in a dazed voice.

Relief, so exquisite it was nearly pain, washed through me at the sound of her voice.

She struggled to sit up, but I was not ready to release her. It felt…safer? Better, at least, having her tucked by my side.

"Be careful" I said "I think you hit your head pretty hard".

There had been no smell of fresh blood-a mercy, that-but this did not rule out internal damage. I was abruptly anxious to get her to Carlisle and a full complement of radiology equipment.

"Ow" she said, her tone comically shocked as she realised I was right about her head.

"That's what I thought". Relief made it funny to me, almost giddy.

"How in the…" her voice trailed off and her eye lids fluttered. "How did you get over here so fast"?

The humour turned sour. I had forgotten that she was special to me in other ways too.

Now that it appeared that the girl was in decent shape, the anxiety of my family became apparent.

"I was standing right next to you, Danishka", I knew from experience that if I was confident as I lied, it made any questioner less sure of the truth.

She struggled to move again, and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe for me to play my role correctly.

She stared at me and I stared back at those intense blue orbs. Too look away was a mistake only an incompetent liar would make. And I was not an incompetent liar. My expression was smooth; benign…it seemed to confuse her. That was good. The accident scene was surrounded now.

She tried to get up and I put a hand on her shoulder to restrain her.

"Stay put" I instructed.

"But it's cold" she objected.

She had almost been crushed to death, two distinct times and crippled one more, and it was the cold that worried her. A chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation was not funny.

She blinked again and then her eyes focused on my face. "You were over there".

That sobered me again. She glanced to the south, though there was nothing to see but the crumpled van. "You were by your car".

"No I wasn't".

"You were", her voice was child like when she was being stubborn, her full lips pouting slightly…

Shouldn't it be easy to keep this silent, secretive girl quiet? Hmm, she had her own secrets that she might not want me revealing as well…

"Please, Danishka", I said, and my voice was too intense, because I suddenly _wanted _her to trust me. Wanted it badly, and not just in regards to this accident. A stupid desire. What sense would it make for her to trust _me?_

"Why?"

I couldn't black mail her with her secret; it was just so…ungentlemanly.

"Trust me" I pleaded.

"Do you promise to explain everything later?"

It made me angry to have to lie to her-again. It couldn't be helped.

"Fine".

The rescue team came under way shortly and the EMTs arrived. I looked around, listening for any thoughts from someone that might have noticed me suddenly appear out of thin air by the girl and juggle a van. I got three distinct thoughts instead; Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. There would be hell to pay for this.

A familiar, grizzled face appraised me.

"Hey, Edward" Brett Warner said. He was also a registered nurse and I knew him from the hospital. It was a stroke of luck-the only luck today-that he was the first through to us. In his thoughts, he was noting that I looked alert and calm. "You okay kid?"

"Perfect Brett, nothing touched me. But I'm afraid Danishka here might have a concussion. She really hit her head when I yanked her out of the way..."

Brett turned his attention to the girl, who shot me a fierce look of betrayal. Oh, that was right. She was the quiet martyr-she'd prefer to suffer in silence.

She did not contradict my story either, and this made me feel slightly at ease.

The next EMT tried to persuade me that I should be examined. But it wasn't difficult to dissuade him; I promised I would let my father examine me. With most humans, speaking with cool assurance was all that was needed. Most humans, just not the girl of course. Did she fit into _any _of the normal patterns?

She was in the back of the EMT as I climbed in the front. I quickly caught Isabella Swans eye as I entered. The one person who would have noticed my not being there and I couldn't read _her_ mind.


	3. Chapter 3

She knew, she saw and there was no question to those facts.

"You idiot!" Rosalie hissed, rounding up on me as I stalled in the hospital corridor. "You selfish…"

"Rose" Carlisle murmured, emerging from his office with a file. "We'll go over the detail _later…_ right now, Edward… we have to do damage control"

"I'm already on it" I whispered, failing to meet Rosalie's accusing eyes and failing to screen her livid thoughts. "She was the only one who really saw…"

"And what are you going to do about that" Rosalie sneered, a ruthless smile on her lips.

"Lead her astray…"I mumbled, a lump forming in my throat. "Dismiss anything she will come up with… although I do doubt she will…"

"She is a human" Rosalie sneered, her eyes large and manically angry. "She sees a boy lift a van…"  
>"She wont Rose" I stressed. "I'll make sure…"<p>

"You have always thought of only yourself" she hissed, dismissing my plea for her cooperation and walking away.

_Idiot… fool… selfish!_

"I am going in to examine her" Carlisle said softly.

"When you are done, of course" I sighed. "I'll go speak to her.

"How does your head feel" Carlisle asked her, his fingers moving lightly over her forehead and eyes trained carefully away from her knowing gaze.

_Yes, she is suspicious son…_

She watched him with wide eyes and I _envied _Carlisle being able to touch her. to be near her like that without chaotic unexplainable feelings…

"Tender…"he said, after she winced again. "Take some Tylenol and you'll be good as new".

He smiled at her frowning and insistant staring, as though she was trying to evoke hi into a guilt glare that would cause him to spill my secret. How hard it would be to discredit her, to officially have to do what I should have done so many days ago. To dismiss my curiosity, to take logic over whatever game I had been playing…

She saw me finally, her eyes wide and excited when they meet my own. I could see it on her face that she was expecting me to live up to my word. I would give anything to just be able to do just that…

"Hmm, if it wasn't for Edward… saving me, I might need more than Tylenol" she said pointedly, returning her cautious gaze to Carlisle's face.

_She seems very stubborn… I work with her sister… Cindy, the one with the x-rays.._

He busied himself with his pad, scribbling something. "Hmm, yes, it is good".

He smiled politely at her before wheeling around for his exit.

_Good luck…_

It was time for my big act.

"So, why aren't you getting checked like the rest of us?" she said suspiciously, eyeing me over.

"It's all about who you know…" I chuckled.

She thought about it for a moment before smirking knowingly.

"I'm waiting for my explanation" she said seriously. i turned to face her, trying to understand what she knew from reading her face. All she did was look back at me with just as uch intensity and her stubborn pout in place. Her heart beat picked up pace, a steady rise with each second that passed of our stare down-was she scared of me now? It would make things easier I suppose, if I played it to that…

I moved slightly closer to her, careful with my breathing and told her-in the most underhanded move "I don't owe you anything- I saved your life"

She flinched back, as though I had struck her and her heart went haywire-her chest rising and falling rapidly but she remained in her stubbornness. Overruling her natural human instincts of the predator so close to her…

"You promised?" Her voice was low, sapphire eyes wide and unbelieving, her lower lip quivering slightly.

"You hit your head hard Danishka…" I said cuttingly "you don't know what you're talking about".

The fear left her eyes instantly and her kitten-tiger anger filled her.

"How dare you…" she stammered angrily "My head is just fine; you can go and ask Cindy if you must".

I leaned forward, trying to see past the impossibly vast images flickering through her mind and my own mind having a slight nauseating pain from peering into her head for so long. I saw nor heard nothing…

"What do you want from me Danishka?" I asked her.

"The truth" she folded her arms over her chest and glared at me, her eyes glistening.

"The truth is…"I could not believe I was doing this. "That I just saved your life and do not owe you _anything_, do you understand?"

Her hands dropped to her sides, eyes wide and unbelievably vulnerable and face pained. Her trust in me. a trust I had not realized I wanted and desired with such confounding intensity-was lost from me forever more. I had ruined it-whatever it was I had been basking in for the past days. It lay on the floor and I trampled over it in a masochistic frenzied dance…

"You were by your car…"she whispered, her eyes raking over my face for something I wanted desperately to give her.

"So you think I ran to you"I hissed. "and held the van off of you?"

"yes" she gasped.

"No one will believe _that_"

"I wasn't going to tell anyone" she said softly, her eyes-why did they have to be so large and clear-begging for me to understand this. I realised in that minute I had read her wrong in my fear and guilt over putting my family in danger of exposure-she wouldn't have told. It was a possibility I hadn't thought of.

"I know" I lied, pulling at a strength in me to truly end it. to give her no reason to want to seek me out. "Because you have things, impossible secrets, that you wouldn't want me to let slip either"

Eyes large and mouth agape, I looked away from her-unable to face my destruction of what could have been…

"So it doesn't matter" I sighed.

"It matters to me" she whispered, her voice raw and wet.

"Can't you just thank me and be done with it" I sighed-almost begging her.

"Thank you" she said quickly, but her eyes where on me-still expectant.

"You are not going to let this go, are you?"

"No" she said.

"Well, I hope you enjoy disappointment" I whispered, getting up swiftly and throwing her one last hard look. She returned it with so much verve I was blown away. Most humans wouldn't have sat so fragile in a hospital bed-bruised and traumatised-and fiercely thrown off a vampire's threat. Most humans, but I knew she didn't qualify…

_Bye Danishka_ I thought to myself, leaving her in a quivering fury on the bed and realising this had been my last conversation with her. Our last...

She was wearing a black sweater with a hoody. The hoody was pulled over her head as usual and her black hair was peeping through the sides. Her hair had grown relatively fast since she had arrived here. Was that part of her strangeness…?

Her jeans were denim black bootlegs that curtained over her black sneakers. She looked like a very adorable spy.

_Why is he smiling at nothing? We are supposed to be acting extra normal!_

Rosalie frowned at me, her eyes narrowing and the apple in her hand being crushed into a pulp. I snapped out of my new found heaven that involved spying on Danishka through Tyler's mind. Tyler had developed a crush on her after the accident, much to my annoyance. The bright side was the boy gave me a gateway to watch her surreptitiously.

Jasper was also watching me. He had picked up on my relatively light mood and was curious to the cause. He was used to me being gloom and doom. I promised my family I would stay away from her and Alice's cocky psychic self thought me incapable. She constantly ran over the possible futures she saw; where I would be with the girl-talking and laughing. They were hazy and unfocused-they were not set in stone. She hated it when she wasn't certain of things. I couldn't pull Danishka into my world, I couldn't court whatever type of relationship it was Alice envisioned…

I shook my head and went back to picking at my bagel-Acting normal involved pretending to eat of late. A task I much dreaded. The next class was biology and my dead heart ached with a familiar pain. She hated me; thought me an untrustworthy lout. I was all of these things maybe.

I was now able to curb the curiosity to read her mind. She would sit next to me, frowning, pouting and sighing. And I was denied the knowledge of all these things but the inkling that I was the cause of it. She didn't smile anymore and had had stopped attempting to be friendly to our other peers.

Bella was the only one who didn't seem to mind her quietness. Bella, I knew, wanted to find out about the accident. She knew there was more to it than simple heroics. It hurt me intensely to realize that Danishka had kept my secret. She had not even told her sister about the intricate details of the accident.

She was honest and good… in her way.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The gift to live forever is every dying man's dream. A dying man who would fight the nature of Death and seek immortality to overcome Deaths binding and fatal hold. A dying man who sees Death as his enemy; the true evil.

In my immortality, I know that which escapes all men. For all men are, in their mortality, dying men. Death seeks to bring the true sleep, the peaceful embrace. Death is saint and saviour.

Who has ever heard of one suffering in death? It is in life that we suffer, in life that we fight and feel pain. Life is the most dastardly evil as its guise is so well accomplished. We seek Life with little fear and no understanding of what it means to find it. I found it or rather it was given to me with little explanation. Life the gift; the hidden curse. The moment I was given it a second time, Death left my doorstep with no promise of return. No sweet sleep and loving embrace would be given to me when Life finally leaves me battered and broken. I would live for life. Live for pain. Forever.

The moon shown high over the tall green trees of the Peninsula forest. The forest was dark to mortal eyes but I could see as clear as day, more so with the luminous glow of the moon breaking through the trees. The cold did not bite at my already ice marble skin. It was quiet, as it usually is when I was in the forest. The animals would instinctually flee from my radius. It was exceptionally quiet though. I had just hunted.

The elk lay dead and dry by my feet. As soon as I left, a fortunate scavenger would finish of the carcass. Satisfied and sluggish I stood still, gazing at the moon. I shared in its loneliness. The stars could never understand what it meant to be a moon. To always be, never the promise of burning gas dying out or reappearing in a different place. Always condemned to that one place; gazing at all that is denied to you by fate.

Eyes closed, I tried to remember her scent. Peaches and roses and spice…chai? Those blue eyes…

She was probably asleep in her bed this very moment. Dreaming of a future I hoped she would seek. No nightmare of an anonymous red eyed man in the darkness. No strained thoughts inter-mingling with her subconscious of what I was. What we were. The Cullen's.

Alice had pestered me about her earlier this evening. She knew I wanted to talk to her, to be near her, to _know _her. I denied it, disregarded her visions (a betrayal) and summed it up to simple curiosity and boredom on my part. It was an almost truth; that's how it had started.

Now, I was standing alone in the forest… wishing for a disgruntled friend called Death to visit and relating to the moon. _Alone in the forest, a depressed vampire stood under the lonely moon wishing for Death to visit him. _

I laughed bitterly at my own self.

I felt a strong irrational anger at my family; at their refusal to even attempt to understand me. I guess if I couldn't comprehend myself, it would be arrogant to expect others to do it for me.

It was clear to me; instead of ignoring everything and looking at only the surface meaning-which evaded me as it was-I had to delve deeper. I had to understand myself. I could not ignore it anymore. Disregard, overlook, over think. Would not ignore it.

Two days in a row. The now distinctly concentrated dread crept inside me. I kept my head low, willing myself to concentrate on the fruit salad before me. I had already counted how many orange coloured bits of fruit where in it in comparison to the green, yellow and red. The school cafeteria called it a fruit salad, but it was more of a pineapple and orange salad with stray bits of strawberry and banana. My eyes were straining against the restrictions I had placed on them; they were magnetically drawn to the table on my far right. The table where, only five minutes ago, I had seen only Isabella Swan and Angela Weber seated with Mike Newton and his friends. I hadn't heard her familiar clumsy footfalls, smelt her peach-chai scent or heard her voice. By all evidence, she wasn't there. My brain tried to convince my eyes of this, but they had to see for themselves…

In a split second I glanced to my right, my eyes briefly meeting Isabella's chocolate bewildered eyes, then raking through the rest of the children at the table and swiftly back to the offensive salad I was never going to eat.

_That's the third time you've looked at that table…_

I looked up and met Alice's accusing gold eyes from across the table. I shrugged and picked at the salad with the plastic white fork. She had been watching me from the moment we entered the cafeteria.

After the Monday incident, she had become more engrossed in Danishka as much as I was. That Monday was supposed to be the symbolic day for my end to over thinking; I was to talk to her, Danishka. I was not going to give away any secrets that were as much my own as my family's. I would talk to her, answer what I could and relieve the insistent craving I had for her… her secrets and history. Allow myself the mental rest knowing I hadn't just let a great mystery past or intruded and stolen a beautiful mystery. I would apologize; explain that she and I couldn't be _friends._

I saved her life and I was proud of it but the intricate details of how I managed to zoom across the parking lot would have to remain unanswered. There was too much at stake. Too much and too little to give away. But her absence had caused a total chaotic presence in my being…

**MONDAY**

Biology had come, and she wasn't there. I had Isabella Swan's torturous scent to endure without Danishka's intoxicating scent to take some of the edge off. Isabella… who spent the whole lesson fanning her hair and looking back at me, her silent mind infuriating and her brown eyes speaking volumes of a secret she knew. It was as if she was intentionally provoking me, willing me to lose control and be the monster I fought against!

I spent the period glancing at the door for Danishka to walk through, tormented by the razor edge my thirst had changed into and a new form of panic. Had she left the school? Had the accident been too much for her? Did she find out about me…?

These questions had rampaged through my mind all the way into lunch time in the cafeteria. I had not been as surreptitious as I could've been in my search for Danishka amongst Forks High's student body… my vampire eye's scheming over every group for her.

"Edward, quit tapping the spoon…" Emmett had said, placing his hand over my own. I had been tapping the spoon at an inhuman speed against the bowl. I looked at him in surprise.

I wasn't one to forget such simple things as "no vampire speed least the humans see".

"What's with the anxious searching eyes?Did you lose something?" Rosalie sneered from beside Emmett. I didn't like her word choice and a low growl escaped me.

She quickly covered her thoughts and thought about her time with Emmett the previous night.

"Yeah, you're acting like you lost something important…" Emmett added, warily lifting his hand off of mine.

I sighed and chose not to answer them. Alice and Jasper sat down in their usual seats in that second, ultimately ending the conversation brewing in Emmett's mind. Jasper placed his food tray in front of him distastefully and glared at the bottle of Vitamin Water.

_If they served Vitamin Blood…now that would be something! Peter wouldn't survive five minutes of this…_

"So…." Alice began, looking at me conspiratorially from across the table. "Guess who didn't come to school?"

"Are you really playing guessing games with Edward" Emmett snickered but her question had captured his attention.

_Danishka Nebari, Danishka Nebari, Danishka Nebari…_ Alice chanted in her mind.

"Danishka" Rosalie answered monotonously, beating Alice to her planned killer execution (she knew I wouldn't answer, naturally …but neither of us had thought Rosalie would hold the answer).

We both turned to look at her. I sifted through her mind on how she knew that would be the required answer. She immediately began singing the French national anthem… in Spanish. Maybe I had not been as careful as I thought about the Danishka business.

Emmett's thoughts on Rosalie's quick response were summed up to the car accident incident. Hmmm, that seemed logical but her sudden unwillingness to let her reasons be evident to me did not seem logical.

_Hmmm, instead of orange flavoured Vitamin Water there would be O-negative and…._

I kicked Jasper's chair lightly and frowned at him. He averted his gaze guiltily from me and chose to bore a hole at the side of his wife's head. He switched his thoughts to that of his long time friend and fellow comrade, Peter's arrival.

He had only gone five days without blood and he was already craving. The blood craving was always there for vampires, especially those few of us who chose this slightly less treacherous life style of consuming animal blood but it tended to fall to the background. Why Jasper tortured himself by bringing it to the forefront unnecessarily when he _knew _he couldn't handle it…. now with Peter and Charlotte arriving and their reminder of the life he led before…

The strange man with the red eyes…

"Edward!" hissed Alice as a sharp popping sound came from below me followed by a fizzing resonance. I had been holding a coke can in my hand a few seconds ago. Now, it was a squashed tin and my hand was wet with the liquid, the coke pooling on the table over our food props.

"Argh, you buffoon…" Rosalie hissed moments later. The coke had sprayed over her white denims.

The red eyed man from Danishka's thoughts. The ashy black man with the leering smile and blood eyes. She wasn't at school…why? The man… the _vampire_. Panic welled in the pit of my stomach and in that moment I couldn't hear Rosalie's ranting, Emmett's placating or Alice's inquiries over my mental health.

The school bell cut into the white noise and my mind cleared somewhat. I pushed my chair away from the table instantly and moved briskly away from my siblings. The throng of human cattle moving too slow blocked my exit. I had to leave school. I had to go!

The urgency of it all began to outweigh the necessity of moving as humanly fast as possible.

…maybe I could wait a little while for the children to move and head for their classes. I felt slightly calm as my foot tapped symbolically on the linoleum floor. I glanced behind me and was surprised to find Jasper standing inches from me. That explained the calm.

He had a quizzical look on his face, his arms crossed over his chest and gestured back at the table we were seated. The other were approaching us slowly, Rosalie was livid and Emmett was not smiling. Alice reached us and stood beside Jasper frowning.

The after lunch traffic was decidedly thick today. I would have to endure them for five entire minutes before I could go and check on Danishka…

"Have you lost your mind!" Rosalie seethed, her hands balling into fists by her side. I looked over to Emmett who was just shaking his head disapprovingly. We shuffled a foot as the traffic moved ahead of us.

"Edward, what is the matter. Your strange behaviour…" said Alice, cutting into Rosalie's on coming rant. "You are upset, what is it?"

"He was more panicked than upset Alice" clarified Jasper, his hand on the small of Alice's back supporting.

"It's nothing", my voice came out hoarse, and I realized since the revelation I had had about the red eyed vampire, I had been holding in a breath.

Alice cocked her head to one side and Emmett huffed. Rosalie was beyond sympathies and understanding. I had ruined her white denims for _nothing._

In that instant I realized pretence or with holding truth would be counter active with my siblings. I was causing a strain with my secrecy and strange behaviour. The truth was far gone now, so what damage could it do..?

"I…" I began, studying their faces for the different degrees of worry on them. "It's Danishka, I have to get to her".

"Oh, god…" Rosalie flung her hands in the air dramatically and caused a sixth grader to jump. "What is it with you and that _black_ _girl_".

"Yes, I mean Edward…." Emmett looked me in the eye as he said this. "You saved her life, risked our secret and everything remained cool…why this now?"

"I know and I appreciate your graciousness in the matter, all of you" I responded sincerely, they had to know I didn't take it for granted. "But, it is _something _I just _cannot _explain."

Alice was quiet, her eyes intense and concentrating; she was looking into the near future. I watched with her, hoping as she did that something would come up that would help to explain to the rest of my family the slight obsession with Danishka.

_A girl with cocoa skin and black shoulder length hair stood in a dark forest, utterly still. Her eyes were closed and her chest rose steadily with each slow calculated breath she took. She was being brave, taking a chance and she had a determined expression on her face. She took a step forward and then another, her eye lids lifting to reveal shocking purplish blue eyes. She looked ahead of her, a small bundle clutched to her chest in a woollen blanket._

Alice's image flickered ahead and we both saw how Danishka would wonder into the forest for a good thirty minutes and get lost. She concentrated hard to see the end result but it was blurry and not settled.

We were in the now empty corridor, all five Cullen's standing quietly and I was oddly aware that this would be the first time we had ever been late for any classes. The others awaited the revelation of Alice's vision. Emmett had an impatient curiosity to his expression and Rosalie was scowling. Jasper was not very interested; his mind kept going back to the impending arrival of Peter and Charlotte.

"See Edward…" Alice said ominously. "She is fine".

And with that, I had been stopped from running through the forest to go and check on Danishka Nebari. I had, however, exposed myself to my siblings thoroughly. There was no going back. The rest of the day continued monotonously and at the close of the school day, I was escorted to the car by Emmett.

"Yeah, Alice said you were still a bit undecided about running to your chocolate addiction". I frowned, gathering from his thoughts that he was going to make sure I remained strong in the anti-stalker vampire campaign. If I was truly undecided, Emmett was sent to decide for me.

The rest of my siblings went home in the jeep while Emmett and I drove home in the Volvo in a weird silence.

**PRESENT DAY-WEDNESDAY**

I could feel Isabella Swan's eyes on me. There was no mental tone that uncovered what she was thinking, if she knew where Danishka was…

"You can stop looking so lost Edward" Emmett said, taking a seat with Rosalie by his side. She was frowning at him disapprovingly.

_He really shouldn't encourage him. He needs to get over his human crush yesterday _

"What are you talking about?" I gasped my eyes boring into Rosalie's equally startled gold ones. It would help if I could hear her previous thoughts!

I turned to Emmett questioningly.

_I saw her in the corridor, she is heading this way… must've been called back to get notes for class or something._

Emmett shrugged but remained amused by my reaction.

_Rosalie was right… he is excited. _He added, and I saw a memory of Rosalie snarling how this would "just make his pathetic day".

What was it that impeded her joy? Yes, I had almost unveiled our secret (in a way I had done this completely but Danishka just didn't have a name for us yet) and everyone was taking it in stride. She refused to let me forget it and was constantly shaming me about my crush.

Crush?

"I don't have a crush on her, Rosalie" I stated monotonously, but a fear was welling inside me as I said the words. I could not look at her.

"Ha, sure…!" she sneered, placing her arms on the table and leering at me._ It is the highest form of infatuation; all that's left is for you to stick love letters in the __**child's**__ locker!_

"It is **not** infatuation!" I hissed at her. She scoffed in return, her arms folding over her chest and her face settling into a smug look.

"So what is it?" asked Emmett, cutting into the death glare Rosalie and I were sharing.

"I-it's an interest?" how was I to know. Rosalie's thoughts had seeped into my own, spreading poison and doubt. What were the grounds that one was sentenced as being infatuated?

"An interest for what?" asked Alice. She had been watching the exchange with beady eyes.

"I have already told you that she is unique…" all of my siblings eyes were on my face. "She has a _gift_".

Alice recalled one of the blurry visions she had had of Danishka and I alone in an open quiet are-my meadow-and laying on the green grass in comfortable _intimate _silence.

"You're visions are subjective and I'm sure if you check again that vision has changed!" I glared at her, but in that instant I heard that heart beat. I smelt that peach-chai spice and could hear the clumsy foot falls.

Danishka

I whipped my head around and saw her attempt to balance her bag, pencil case and file while glancing up ahead to her destination. She was wearing a purple hoody; royal purple but it was faded. Her hoody was over her head, naturally, but was slipping off revealing a shaggy black mane underneath. Her blue jeans faded and loose fitting; bootleg and curtaining over her favourite black sneakers.

She was a vision, the utmost beauty.

"Definitely infatuation" drawled Jasper in his southern twang, snapping me out of my staring and reminding the rest of us of his presence on the table. He could feel my excitement, my confusion…

Emmett snickered and Alice folded her arms, adopting a similar smug look to Rosalie.

I stared at them and saw from all three minds how my eyes were wide with surprise and my head tilted to the left, where Danishka would no doubt be joining Isabella's table. I shot a look back and caught her in the process of dropping her file and slinging her bag on the empty seat of the table. Angela Weber got up to help her and as I turned, I met Isabella's questioning eyes.

"It's an interest…" I whispered, resuming my food prodding.

"An interest of the highest degree" added Alice, perfectly timed with the end-of-lunch bell.

I waited impatiently as Alice bid Jasper goodbye. She was assuring him how his day would be uneventful. Except for a small prank Emmett would try to play on him in their English lesson. I suddenly envied Jasper Alice; and not in the romantic affiliation. I longed for someone who would always be in my corner and support me. Someone to assure me that everything would be as it should. I turned away from them and avoided Jasper's mental question at my shift in mood.

He whispered a final goodbye to Alice and sauntered of to English.

"So, are you ready for P.E?" Alice chirped, skipping beside me as I walked hastily to the gym. She was attempting to engage me in unnecessary conversation. She feared the predicted brooding of today's P.E lesson.

I remained quiet, answering her question with a brisk nod. I turned left into the male changing rooms as she walked ahead, casting furtive glances behind at me.

I changed quickly before the human males arrived and sat on a bench by my changing locker. I was in no mood for Alice's excitement at having Danishka back. She had planned on helping me analyse my "Interest" but had failed to mentally conceal her ploy. She had foreseen me taking my time in the changing rooms but had hoped I would change my mind.

"Interest". The word played around in my mind. I was **interested **in Danishka's uniqueness… I was interested in her vampiric behaviour. Did the fact that I found her beautiful fall under "interest"? No, it was a fact. She was beautiful; exotic, natural and _varying. _Her hair, her nose, those _eyes _and those lips…

Only a blind man would find her anything but Beautiful and even then he would only have to smell that _scent_ to know he was in the presence of a goddess.

Was she my goddess? Was it _criminal_ for me to be attracted to her? Ah, was I attracted to her and to what level?

… _Hmm, I hope I'm in Cullen's team_

I pulled out of my internal monologue. The door opened and the rest of my male classmates joined me in the changing room. Matthew Fry's eyes widened when he saw me. It was indoor soccer today it seemed...

_Was he just sitting in here… weirdo_

…_he is so handsome mustn't stare at him, though he looks so good in those shorts!_

I quickly got up and exited the room before Peter Welling could allow his mind to turn to a more sexual tone about my shorts. He was still in denial about his sexuality but his growing infatuation with me was a grave displeasure.

Would Danishka find my musing about her beauty displeasure? I reprimanded myself in the same breathe; I didn't allow my thoughts to turn vulgar. I noticed her beauty but I did fantasize about owning it and bending it to my will…

Alice was sitting at the top of the bleachers, her hands in her lap and her gaze fixed on my face. She was irritated at having her plan foiled, even though she had foreseen it. I walked purposefully towards her, glancing at a small group of girls hopefully. Maybe she was there... no such luck. Two of the girls who noticed my brief glance blushed furiously and proceeded to whisper nonsensical statements to the rest of their peers.

"...he is hot. I might ask him to the formal" the short red haired human whispered to the lankier blonde one.

_As if! _The blonde girl thought but responded in eager encouragement. Human girls were the most cruel creatures when it suited them.

"You only prolonged the conversation, you know" Alice frowned at me, moving slightly so I could lounge by her feet on the bench. I rolled my eyes at her and fixed my gaze at the gymnasium's entrance. What was taking them so long.

_She won't be participating today. She was ill. _I saw the vision that came with Alice's thoughts of Danishka handing in her doctor's letter to the coach. I knew she had been sick by picking stray thoughts and conversations from her peers. A fever she had said. I wasn't concerned for her participating; I simply needed to see her for a more prolonged period of time than a few minutes in lunch.

"You won't be in the soccer match today" Alice announced, excited at having kept that little detail of the days schedule for so long. She seemed to think it of great importance and was careful in her thoughts, gauging my reaction.

"The boys will be playing soccer next week, its only girls today"

"Thank you for that bit of information, dear sister" I sighed, tilting my head back to look at her. She was smiling and counting the hairs of my eyebrows, still hiding her thoughts. "What is the relevance...?"

"The relevance, dear brother... is that if you hadn't been such a coward about talking about your _feelings_..." she drew in an unnecessary sharp breath "we could've discussed your approach"

"Approach to what?" I asked confounded, it would've been easier if Alice would let her thoughts flow allowing me to understand her unnecessarily cryptic banter!

"Danishka". She then allowed part of her vision be revealed; Danishka sitting with the rest of the males whilst the girls played soccer. She was sitting by me...

Would she choose to sit by me? Was I the one to go sit with her? Alice's vision faltered slightly, becoming hazy and failing to maintain its solidity. It wasn't a set future.

"She won't participate in the lousy sport and will need company while waiting for the bell to end P.E" Alice said innocently. She was watching my face and was satisfied with the predicted reaction I had given her.

"I can't talk to her" I whispered. I faced Alice fully; begging her with my eye's to understand this fact. The fear welling inside me was irrational but profound. I feared talking to the girl and yet that was all I thought about doing. I had enjoyed our previous quips, had I not? I couldn't understand it but I knew something inside me had changed. I didn't know when or how, but the girl-Danishka-had an effect on me. I was unnerved.

"Why not?" Alice asked patiently, her dainty alabaster hands supporting her chin as she gazed at me knowingly. _Are you shy?_

"I am not shy!" I frowned at her, my irritation growing in accordance with her smug smile. "Talking to her would lead to a discussion of the accident"

"...and you will avoid it like the telepathic-know-it-all vampire you are!" she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

"Alice !" I groaned, casting a worried eye towards the entrance once more. I could hear a dozen footsteps...

"I won't tell the others anything until you are ready and you and I both know _she _won't say a word" she whispered impassioned. She began to look into the future as the seed she planted into my mind took root. She was implying I be true to Danishka... of my nature.

I had wanted her trust and what better way to earn it than to be truthful. What better way to have her trust me... or hate me. To let her know I was a monster of the most dastardly and evil kind. A soulless being damned to live in death?

"Argh, Edward... just think about it!" she hissed, frustrated as the future got snarled with my indecision.

"She would run for the hills the moment I uttered the truth-the word... of what I am" I stated grimly.

"We won't know that until you decide to do it!"

"What do you think will come of this, Alice" I said, standing up and glaring at her from atop the benches. Curios stares came from the children down bellow and I saw the reflection of anger on my face from their minds. They could not hear our low vampire voices with their human ears but I was not able to hide my emotions from my face.

_The perfect Cullen siblings having a moment... finally something normal!_

"Edward..." she pleaded softly, standing up too, and reaching my height with the help of standing on the top most benches of the bleachers.

"Don't think it and do not say it!" I commanded.

_She can make you so happy... it's not like you can stay away. You know it!_

"I'll prolong it then..." I snarled.

"You contradict yourself, _dear _brother" she hissed in return, her eyes gleaming in fury. A vision of me in the forest by Danishka's home was brought to the forefront of Alice's mind. "All you want is to hasten it!"

She turned towards the entrance and I followed her gaze. Twenty three of the remaining P.E students entered and Danishka was one of them. She was not in her sports uniform and had her bag slung over her shoulder. Jessica and Angela flanked her. Those scorching blue eyes raked through the faces of the huddled boys at the bottom of the benches.

_She is such an attention-hogging-bitch! She is _so _well enough to join in... _Jessica's familiar venomous thoughts screeched even though outwardly she reached for Danishka's bag, offering kind and loving assistance. A sudden urge or need came over me, to step in between them and protect Danishka from the teenage snake...

I moved down from the top of the bleachers, taking two rows of benches at a time to swiftly reach the bottom. Alice attempted to keep up the pace without moving inhumanly. She skipped down but managed to grab a few curios stares at her "grace".

"Why are you fighting this?"She huffed when we reached the bottom.

I ignored her because at that very moment I met Danishka's searching gaze. It was me she was looking for amongst those boys. A warm feeling swelled inside my chest, warming my cold and unbeating heart and I was aware a second too late that I was smiling. I was _smiling _at her.

_Oh my gosh, why the hell is Edward Cullen staring at Danish the Weird? No, he probably just noticed how she skived school..._

I ignored Jessica's thoughts and broke away from Danishka's dark blue eyes... her eyes were dark, but still held their pulsing fire. The same dark shade from Isabella Swan's first dreaded day... her cheek bones had become more pronounced showing how she had lost weight in the three days she had been away. She had to have been genuinely sick...

_...smiling like an idiot. If he could blush, he'd be as red as blood!_

"What?" I turned and met Alice's petulant glare. Down on level ground, Alice's height was such that she reached my chest, causing her glare to count for nought. I was still smiling, I realised.

"Nothing" she answered and skipped off to join the rest of the class. I followed slowly, trying to compose my face and thoughts.

The coach entered right at that moment and Danishka noted how he made it a habit to be fifteen minutes late. She glanced back at me twice from the front of our huddled class but had not returned my impulsive smile... I would most certainly **not **be talking to her.

"Okay, Danish..." the coach said, looking at the doctors note briefly. _Fever, broken arm... _he looked up at Danishka, scrutinizing her and shifting from foot to foot. He was impatient and wanted the class to end so he could get back to his porn collection...

"Where is the broken arm, Danish?" he asked, his pink blotchy face contorting in suspicion. I didn't like his tone...

"It's Danishka..." Danishka answered dryly but surprisingly with clarity and volume. She shrugged off the faded purple hoody and revealed her plastered arm, waving it slightly. She turned around quickly to look at me and I saw the image of my worried and questioning face from her mind.

She had broken her arm? How? This warranted my Monday reaction. I had had every reason to be worried. The girl was a danger magnet...!

_Signed by Dr Carlisle Cullen, that would be the Cullen's father... yeah, he's a good doctor... helped to deliver Mandy..._

"Okay, Danish-uh, I mean...Danish-_car_?" he mumbled. "You're out for today's match; all the other girls will be playing."

He looked around questioningly at the group.

"Okay, girls play soccer today and next week its boys." He folded the note, stuffed it into his pocket and went to collect the soccer ball.

Carlisle had signed the sick note. He had tended to Danishka. He had _touched _her; an unfounded anger came over me, over my father being the one to tend to her. He was the best there was at medicine; he would have done an excellent and efficient job at healing her. What was there to be angry about?

He hadn't been home in five days, working double shift and covering for two attendants who were away. He wouldn't have been able to tell me of this otherwise, unless of course, he didn't want to encourage me. He had probably been covering for Danishka's sister too.

I would interrogate him on the details of their doctor's visit. Find out how serious the damage had been. I was irked at Carlisle's lack of communication on the matter; all he had to do was call or text me!

The girls were split into two teams and the remainder of the class moved to sit on the benches. I swiftly moved to the third row-away from Danishka but with an adequate line of sight.

She stood for a moment, checking where she would sit before looking up and climbing to the top-towards me-and sitting on the bench directly bellow. She placed her bag deliberately on top of my feet and sat innocently, her gazed fixed on the disorganised match bellow.

Her scent perforated the air in front, blooming around me. I breathed freely, deciphering its unique altering components; chai spice, peach and a stronger Shea-butter element I now noticed at such a close range.

"Hi" she said. She had not turned to look at me as was common etiquette when greeting someone but I gathered from her hazy thoughts she _knew _her soft greeting would reach me.

I paused, caught between hearing her voice so close and wanting to continue its flow and disengaging any potential conversation. I grunted instead; crude and ungentlemanly. She turned her head slightly, as if to look at me but stopped midway.

"You know, you are so rude" she whispered, a smile in her soft rich voice.

"You're the one placing your ten kilogram bag on my poor feet" I responded. I hadn't meant to answer, I wanted to remain silent but I couldn't resist! The response had come unbidden and impulsive... as most of my reactions had been towards Danishka.

"...a ten kilogram bag compared to a thousand kilogram car?"

She swiftly moved the conversation to the accident, innocently, as though we were simply discussing the weather. I removed her bag from my feet; revelling in the fact that I was touching something she constantly had her hands on, and placed it beside her in silence.

"Ah, right. We are not to discuss _that_" she said sweetly; the memory of me balancing the van with my hands while moving her from underneath its intended destination floated through her mind and then an edited image of me wincing at the weight of her bag... She didn't think about if for long before her thoughts began to catch that familiar fuzzy quality to ward of my prying.

"You're the _only _person who hasn't asked me what happened to my arm" she stated, turning her head to finally look up at me. "Did your _dad _tell you?"

My relentless interest on all things to do with Danishka crumbled my already feeble resolution to keep the conversation a monologue. I was angered at not knowing how she got hurt and simultaneously at whatever had caused her to be hurt. It was a violent rigid irritation.

I had almost missed her prickling at the word "dad".

"No" I responded dryly. I was ashamed at not knowing this bit of information. Unreasonable within me, but there it was. Shame.

_Not going to talk to her my foot! Now, if you could stop frowning... you're scaring her._

I met Alice's eyes. She smiled at me and in a micro-second, spun around to catch a ball (she had not been watching at all) from her position at goalpost.

I looked back at Danishka, who was now fiddling with her bags strap, avoiding my gaze.

"I'm not saying you must..." she faltered, peering at me from behind black feather duster eyelashes. "I fell anyway".

She turned around abruptly, folding her arms and concentrating very hard at the amusing match bellow. Her heart was beating a frantic rhythm and her posture had turned tense and defensive. I had done and said something wrong. Had that not been my intention; to end all possible forms of conversation quickly? Why did I feel like the most underhanded villain of all time...?

_It's because you are, she has been nothing but gracious and patient with you and you respond with rudeness and stalking_ a reproachful voice reprimanded my internal monologue. I sighed. The truth was that I had been less than tactful in the matter, but where everyone thought it was a straightforward choice to either ignore her and preserve our secret or talk to her and lead the future into an unpredictable form of happiness-I was wedged in-between, in the gray area.

No amount of over thinking and speculating had helped me. It had simply overwhelmed me with the realization that I was unable to fully control myself or my emotions. I glared at the back of her head, incensed at her suddenly, for somehow controlling and twisting my emotions against my will.

"...my father slept in at the hospital" I whispered, my voice straining oddly. "I haven't had a chance to talk to him all week"

She huffed and remained silent. A flash of Carlisle's face appeared in her mind. He had a shocked look on his face. The tenor of the thought was suspicion and surprise. Suspicion of what? Carlisle? I knew she was suspicious of _all _of us but I wanted to know the depth of it in regards to Carlisle...

"I..." I began, formulating the exact words to describe my situation to her. Human hearing would not process the short hesitation but she had. I needed her to understand and to banish any thought of me being uncouth. "It's very important that we not be friends, Danishka"

"That's your priority not mine" she answered touchily. She didn't budge or turn around to look at me, although my voice had taken a soft pleading tone. "I can be determined, Edward".

My name on those lips... my name said with that voice... her unwavering determination. I sighed, letting loose a needless breath I had been holding. Her aroma pricked my senses once more. Oh, what sort of hell had I discovered in denying myself... denying what exactly?

"Danishka..." I pleaded, leaning forward, closer to her. Her hair smelt citrusy; lemon shampoo?

She shuddered and her heart began doing a marathon in that alluring chest. Had I frightened her, my sudden closeness alerting her latent instincts of my danger? I moved back to my original position and remained still; hopefully she would become more... comfortable. Comfortable with a vampire.

"I want to tell you everything..." I confessed, turning my gaze to the ridiculously inaccurately played match bellow. The girls were too busy trying to be graceful at running and kicking the ball to worry about playing properly. The idiotic and unnecessary formal dance was to blame; they were caught up in their hormones of attracting the opposite sex.

"So tell me?" she stood up and moved to sit next to me, her eyes still fixed on the match. "If you're worried about me not keeping it a secret, I'll tell you something about myself in return. You already _know _I'm hiding something too."

Her body's heat warmed my left side, even through the barrier of our clothes. She was so close to me, if I accidently dropped my hand it would land on top of hers... would my cold touch repel her? Of course.

"Secrets are meant to be kept, don't you think?" I asked her.

"Some..."

"Especially those which are _dangerous_"

Her heart faltered and picked up a staccato tempo that increased with each breath. Her small chocolate hands balled into tight fists and she shook her head slightly, her hair waving and spreading the Lemon scent of her shampoo around us. Could she smell it too? How clear the smell was, simple; a stark contrast to her natural incomprehensible fragrance. I tried to ignore the fear that I knew she was feeling at my revelation that my secret could be harmful.

"You saved my life" she stated, he voice quavering.

"It doesn't make me a hero" Jessica had stopped participating in favour of gawking at Danishka and me. She whispered "backstabbing liar" to Lauren.

"It makes you _my _hero" she turned her head and the intensity of her words was conveyed in her eyes. Her gaze and her words did strange things to me... My head felt clouded, as if there were a sponge sucking out all the reason I had in my mind.

"If it's about Isabella..." she began softly, unsure on how to continue. She questioned me with her eyes instead. They were wide, a deep cobalt blue and pleading. She should never have to plead for anything, and even now as she did... the will not to give in...

"What about her?" I asked her, half dazed. I knew she meant the call of the Swan girl's blood to me but I stupidly hoped it was something else. Her boldness unnerved me. She was moving too fast towards the truth, towards my nature... being a vampire.

She sighed, exasperated and frustrated. She ran her hand through her black hair, mussing it up but without a teenage-girl-care in the world. She leaned forward, supporting her head by cradling her chin in her hand and bracing her arm on her knee. She looked indifferently at the match, her shoulders slumped.

"Her blood..." she sighed, impassively. "You are attracted to her"

"What...?" her description of things was jaded. Attracted to her blood, yes-but to the girl? How had she come to that conclusion? She was so perceptive with everything else...

"She told me how you stare at her" she said, sounding as bored as before. "If you want the smell of her to stop being so powerful, you could hang out with us"

"What?" I asked again, the conversation was too surreal. She knew I wanted to drink the girl's blood and was now asking me to _hang out_? Her reactions to everything were warped... but this?

"That's how I got over it, well... not completely" she explained, turning to me, an eager look on her face as her determination shone through. "It just becomes... a little... bearable"

"It's a lot more complicated than just _hanging out_" I said sternly. Her eyes widened and she sighed again. Her thoughts were now completely hidden from me.

"You just like to complicate things _Edward_..." she got up and picked up her bag. The match bellow was over. "I guess we have the whole of the Biology Field trip to _uncomplicate _and _simplify _you".

She hastily got down the benches, managing to trip and almost fall nearing the bottom but remained in her vertical stance. She shot me a warning glare, her kitten-tiger anger shining through and left the gymnasium.

"Well, that was humorous..." Alice chirped when I reached her finally. She had been watching and listening in on our conversation with abundant glee. "She doesn't know you have feelings for her; I suspect she thinks the opposite"

"What are you talking about, there are no _feelings _here" I hissed. Alice was my favourite sister but today I had reached my limit with her meddling self. "There is only me trying to fix a situation that's spiralling out of control"

"Acceptance is the first step of recovery Edward..." she sighed. "You're _addicted _to her".

"My reaction to her is natural..." she was beautiful, unique and knew my secret.

"Ha! You damn near jumped her when she sat next to you" she twirled around me annoyingly, a graceful porcelain ballet dancer, her spiky black hair bouncing.

"It's complicated Alice!"

"It's attraction, _Edward!" _


	4. Chapter 4

"Enjoy your field trip" Alice murmured, winking at me before waltzing away to her Art class. _There is no way you are going to get out of talking to her… I have seen it…_

Where all psychics such smug know it alls, I wonder…

If I delayed, she may be forced to sit with one of her friends. If I delayed, I may be forced to sit with one of the irritating human children…. Or she would sit beside Tyler. Why did the simple seating arrangement of the bus seem like a battle strategy…?

I breathed in deeply, filling my lungs with clean air for the long trip and stepped into the yellow bus. The driver eyed me irritably; it seemed I was one of the last children he had been instructed to wait for. At first I was overwhelmed the loud chattering of thoughts and words in the confined narrow space but as the wave of noise was absorbed easily into my mind; deciphering the now familiar tones of my classmates-I spotted her.

She was peering up at me from the front seat by the window, smirking impishly and patting the seat beside her. I looked quickly up-to the back of the bus and subsequently each row-that seat was the only open one besides the Biology teachers own one. Mr Crowley had surreptitiously moved his brief case to fill the seat beside him as I hesitated…

_No way kid, Carla is sitting here… _he thought; he had a crush on the substitute teacher…

I sighed and internally my insides did a frenzied conga dance as I sat down quickly beside Danishka. I could feel her small frame shaking lightly; chuckling. The heat of her body bloomed and wafted my right side in warmth but right now I had to deny myself that intoxicating scent she exuded.

The seats were too close together; had they always been this cramped? Her warmth turned into an unbearable electric heat that lighted my every nerve. I sat impossibly still, careful not to breathe and looked straight ahead out the windscreen. The bus roared to life and jerked forward and the chatter resumed

It was raining as usual, but that was not going to stand in the way of our education. If it did, the children at Forks would have school three times a year. She heaved a breath and leaned her head on the window and looked sulkily at the dark skies. She would hate this type of weather having been from a relatively sunny place.

"...Danishka is sooo ambitious!" Lauren Mahoney hissed to one of her minions. She had been seething from the point I had sat down, her thoughts and words a consistent string of curses targeted at Danishka. Danishka who had turned around abruptly at the very moment her name had been called out softly at the very back of the bus…

She turned her head left and right, expecting to see Lauren right behind her and stared in surprise at Fred Garinger and Matt Houston-seated behind our seats and swapping cards. She looked to the opposite seats but that's where Mr Crowley was seated, gazing vacantly out the window. Next to him was his brief-case-Carla had sent a message to him that she would have to miss the field trip, she was unwell.

She sat back in her seat with a thud after locating Lauren; at the back of the bus with all the other pompous scowl-wielding teenagers. She shouldn't have heard Lauren at all above all this noise and the fact that the idiot girl hadn't shouted it out. She seemed unaware of that fact or surprised of her hyper senses…

"It shouldn't bother you so" I whispered, hating her dark expression and pulled down lips.

She jumped in surprise, her eyes wide as though she had forgotten I was beside her in my utter stillness. I watched her from the corner of my eye-amused and worried simultaneously.

"What?"she asked.

"What they think" I sighed, keeping my head facing straight, my eyes sweeping the wet road laid out before the bus.

"You mean what they say?" she murmured. Of course she would catch that…

"That too" I shrugged my first movement since sitting down. She was too quick for her own good and my moral warning for making up to my underhanded behaviour at the hospital…

"I don't care... I just didn't expect to _hear it_" she said sharply, still watching my face with her all seeing eyes.

"Oh" I said dully.

She stared at me pointedly; trying to get me too look at her I suppose but I kept my gaze on the road. I tried to focus on the grey tar and swishing sound of the tyres moving through the thin sheet of rain on the ground. I tried to focus, but her persistent gazing made me…it made me nervous, anxious and hyper aware at the same time.

"Yeah, oh" she huffed, and rearranged her self to her previous posture.

"'Guess you and I have forty-twenty hearing huh?" she whispered, looking out the window

"I guess so" I murmured.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The farm was... the mud was everywhere and anywhere. The children ran and skidded over the deceptively green lawn with abundant glee and mirth-unperturbed by the millimetre of water over the green slippery blades.

"She smells so good in the rain" she sighs to me.

Isabella's eyes are wide and impolite in their staring. She is metres away from me but I smell her… so delicious in the rain. She looks away when I don't shy away from her indecent gaze-blushing and pooling blood easily-before stalking off.

I don't waste time in making things unbearable for Danishka. I move quickly over the wet ground. She follows diligently, placing slow deliberate steps into the soggy ground and huffing with each exertion. I go around a group of children and move to the out skirts of the shed they are keeping dry under. He

She spots me after a moment and makes to move towards me but Lauren Mahoney intercepts her. I had been to bust concentrating on the slightly enjoyable task of playing at and ouse with Danishka to notice her thoughts. Her vile vengeful thoughts…

"Seriously, what is up with you!" she screeched, her hands on her hips in anger-a mock anger of the true feeling inside her. jealousy.

"What?" Danishka spluttered.

"Like, fine. You like Edward and all but if he is not interested then leave him alone"

Danishka's face went black momentarily before a slow smile crept over her lips and she blurt out a laugh. Her hand quickly went over her mouth but the humour was still in her eyes. Lauren had not gotten to her. she was stronger…

"Are you done?"Lauren sneered, her arms crossed.

Danishka nodded to her once, before casting me a look. I had to smile at her… of all the things that could impede her, it would be a simple mean girl…

"Look, it's about Bella and it has been _obvious _over the last couple of days that Edward"-her tone took a breathy quality when she said my name while I cringed-"is obviously considering her. He is always staring at her"

I only stared at Bella because I couldn't hear her thoughts and she was the one in most cases staring at me! how did that transpute in their teenage minds and little to no philosophy as _considering…_

"Yes, Lauren, I know" She managed.

"So what the hell do you think you're doing..." Lauren began- and before Danishka could let out the words that were hanging on her lips, she began a full blown rant-"I'll tell you what you are doing; making a fool of yourself. Do you think Edward could _possibly _be interested in _you?_ You are embarrassing and pathetic and if you have any semblance of dignity you would STOP and go apologise to Isabella as in yesterday!"

She stood there, still and dumbfounded as Lauren Mahoney-a potential murder victim wheeled past her in satisfaction. I watched horror struck as Danishka's eyes widened and the rims turned red and moist. I watched in disbelief as an odd confused sadness overtook her…

I watched for a second too long before my body reacted of its own accord. I rushed to her as slowly as I could and took her by the hand. She complied, not flinching from my ice cold touch and pulling her own small soft hot hand away. She followed in a daze and I prayed she would not cry, I prayed she would not break down because if she did then Lauren was in seriously grave danger…

"That girl-that _snake_" I realised I was repeating as we stopped behind the shed.

The rain was falling inches from us with a new found ferocity. The clouds had abandoned their cream-grey disguise and we were in a full on storm.

She looked down, bewildered to find my hand grasping hers and I quickly let it go.

"Are you okay" I asked. She had not cried and the tears were withdrawing…

"No, I'm not okay" she said, almost sulkily.

"I told you not to care..."

"Who said I did" she cut in sulkily. She peered up at me and her dark navy eyes went wide with… something. It made me uneasy-was she noticing how utterly different we were in this moment.

"I just didn't expect... that-expect her... what she said" she mumbled incoherently.

"That I could possibly be interested in you?" I looked intently at her, lost in our gaze. Her eyes, their texture and components where indescribable

… the colour reflective and intense…

"That... what?" sh spluttered. We were behind the shed, alon and I had been to forward and ambitious... "No, uhm... I mean yes. It's _irrelevant!"_

"It upset you" I sighed.

"Her accusation that I was some kind of overly ambitious _jezebel _was upsetting" she crossed her arms defensively and stared at the ground-at my shoes.

"Of course" I said, scolding myself for missing that solution and disgusted that I had hoped in Lauren's accusations that there was some form of truth.

"I was well aware that you and Bella are in the process of having a _thing_" she mumbled. "...and if you remember, I pointed that out in P.E"

Her mind, her beautiful mind and spectacular eyes that saw nearly everything and dissected all puzzles-and she couldn't tell that she was the only one who captivated me?

"I was trying to _help _you, _Edward_"she insisted

"Help me?" I asked her, taken aback.

"I thought it must be hard to want someone one way and be foiled by wanting them in _another way_"." she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively, and frowning at my insistent staring.

She had it right; she had it strait to the tee but she had warped her hypothesis on Bella? Isabella Swan who only held my attention on account of her sinful blood but other that that her plane beauty was… for the Mike Newton's of the world.

"You're _absurd_" I hissed. "We have to return to the others, Mr Crowley found the guide"

I spun around and moved away from her quickly, angry, frustrated and elated at the same time. How did she do that! How did she manage to take my calm and collection and throw it in the air and catch is as a splintered kaleidoscope of emotions!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"...and that's why it's important to _always _recycle" Mr Crowley finished.

The importance of organics and recycling were lost on me. They could feed the chickens fish if they wanted, and have it taste like beef by the end of its death. The sky could come falling down over my head and the secrets of the universe revealed to me in that same breath and I wouldn't apprehend what was happening. I just could not _care._

It had taken all my will power not to double back to her. In her peculiarity and bold beauty, I had forgotten she was a human girl too. The laws and social retardedness of the increasingly _vile _teenage generation could affect her. She was affected. She had been hurt.

I had disgustingly hoped that some of what Lauren had said to her applied. I didn't want to feel it but it had welled up inside me the moment she said it; did she want me interested in her? The moment her face crumbled, her navy eyes glancing at me and down to the ground; I wanted to _rip that __**girl's **__throat._

_Flip, Cullen is one scary dude... that Danishka chick has got guts of _steel _asking him out... I better move away, he's giving me the jeeper's creeper!_

I caught my violent expression from Brandon's mind and quickly smoothed it. It was important I control my emotions better, very important. I shouldn't have interceded in the teenage drama. I shouldn't have brought more notice to myself and Danishka. It was all they were talking about instead of concentrating on Organics, Recycling and Farm Production. It was all they were thinking... there was no way this wouldn't be a gossip wild fire by tomorrow. There was no way my family wouldn't find out (Alice had probably already seen something in her visions).

How Danishka had come to the conclusion that I was not only called to Isabella Swans blood-but _attracted _to her was simply baffling. It was true that the Swan girl had a lot of admirers. How I had been roped in as one of them was just ridiculous. These adolescents had their priorities inverted!

_Ah, I knew Danishka wouldn't jump to conclusions about Laurens unbelievable accusations! I'm so glad she let Bella explain herself..._

Angela's usual pure mind allowed me to glimpse into the still intact friendship of Bella and Danishka. Danishka was distrustful -a reflex reaction she had to people- but she seemed to be a good judge of character.

I had struggled to be moderate with my family's secret and still be honest with her, but it had turned on its head, we were back to square one. I was still the "arrogant pretty boy". I cringed at the word boy; did this infer she thought I was child-like. It had bothered me in the past, that I had been turned at only seventeen years of age but in my day I had just about reached manhood. I felt ice cold dread at the reminder that I would _always _be a _boy. _

_Ha! I bet he gave that Danishka a serious telling off! He looks pissed... those two new idiots actually think that Edward would consider them over me... Isabella is the worst; trying to be "Miss Popular prim and perfect". Who cares if Mike wants her...? Edward probably just wants to fuck her..._

I growled. It was low, almost unheard but Brandon who hadn't moved further away turned around and saw my face. His mind went into a chilly panic and he rushed to the front of the slow moving traffic through the field.

The unbelievably overwhelming anger and violence I felt for Lauren Mahoney was unbearably intense, her vileness had to be punished; justice was needed. The thought that I had a slight protectiveness when it came to Danishka irked me. I wasn't in charge of her well-being and I had no right to think I should have the title.

"_It makes you _my _hero"_

That confession caused me a paradox of pain and joy. I was dangerous to her, whether Bella's blood was the one that called out to me more or not. I was dangerous to her because I couldn't stop myself from being near her. I would look for reasons and justify them at all costs. I was pulling her into a world of soulless blood drinking monsters. Her affliction- she could handle it. It had less than a tenth of the concentration of a vampire. The fact that she could be so _close _to the delicious Bella...

Ah, I picked up that _scent _as the wind changed direction. I looked up, finally giving my full attention to my surroundings. It had stopped raining when we were in the green-house but it was now windy. The ground was a green muddy surface and the children were enjoying it mostly; their inner child surfacing so easily. I spotted them- Isabella and Danishka- they were by the water trout talking. Danishka was picking at a daisy absently. Her hoody had been pulled off and her thick black hair was swaying in the wind, across her face. She ignored it and looked ahead at the stables, unseeingly. She seemed calmer. At ease.

I liked Bella a little more now. She had done something I had failed to do when I had taken Danishka to the back of the shed; away from those girls. She had forgotten about Mahoney.

"I mean, if you _do _like him Bella, that's okay too, but I think that it's safer to not like him at all. Those _girls_ can be quite mean about it..." Danishka said to a captivated Bella.

"Jessica told me that he hasn't gone out with anyone from the school" Bella said shyly. She turned her head searchingly and found me. She blushed-what an easy pooling of blood!-and resumed studying Danishka. If I could hear her thoughts, what she was thinking when she blushed like that... did she know she was calling to the monster in me?

"Ah, yeah... Jessica also told me he thinks he is too good for anyone" said Danishka, a faint smile on her lips. I tried to listen for her thoughts but they were far gone behind the white noise.

"Do you think it's true?" Isabella looked at me more openly, her wide brown eyes unashamedly locking with my predator ones.

"I think it doesn't matter, if someone wants to be left alone... its best to leave them alone" Danishka threw her daisy resignedly into the water, signalling the end of the topic. As she turned to walk down the path to the stables, she saw me. She stopped, glaring at me and walked off without looking back.

Isabella followed her, glancing back less-than-conspicuously, her red-brown hair blowing in the wind and her scent tormenting me slowly.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"you're late; your field trip ended at two pm" Rosalie said, not bothering to turn around from the couch, flipping through the channels on the plasma, vampire fast and managing to grasp the plot of all three programmes she was watching.

_I know he told her, I can just feel it. Alice was too excited... what the hell does he **want **with her, risking our peace._

"I had a slight delay", I replied her, not caring much for her thoughts. I made to go to my room when Alice materialized in front of me, an expectant grin on her face.

"You made so much progress!"

"I doubt it" I sighed, feeling pathetic. "If anything, she is sure to **not **want to talk to me ever again..."

"ah, please... you read her so wrong" she pulled me upstairs to my room and closed the door, as if that would stop Rosalie from hearing our conversation. Formalities I supposed.

"Edward, how do you feel about her?" she asked, clasping her hands together as if to pray and a twinkle in her eyes.

"Alice... I don't really know." It was the honest truth. Even though as a vampire, my mind had so many compartments, allowing me to think a million things simultaneously with ease, dissecting what I was feeling was virtually impossible. The permanent memory box I had as a vampire, the superior perceptiveness and an added telepathic talent; I didn't know where I stood with her.

Did she qualify as just a human; she was _thirsty._ She was barely able to hide it. She had a beating heart and yet she craved _blood..._

"Alice... she isn't _normal_" I needed to talk to Carlisle "she craves blood...!"

Alice stared at me, her eyes disbelieving and a small smile playing on her pixie features.

_Has he gone mad, is this a joke... he is still trying to deny that this girl has a hold on him_

"she has a hold on me, I am well aware but I swear to you that what I say is the truth!"

"Carlisle will be home in ten minutes. He went to meet Peter and Charlotte by the clearing" she whispered. She believed me, I was grateful.

"...you may not be able to discuss this with him immediately though".

I sighed and turned to look out the window, at the forest.

"will he believe me, Alice?"

She cleared her mind and concentrated on my near future. I followed her mind, as the images formed solidity, shimmered and focused.

I would stand still for thirty minutes, gazing out the window unmoving while Jasper's guests greeted Emmett, Rosalie and Esme. She fast forwarded slightly to me and Carlisle talking quietly at the outskirts of our houses perimeter, away from vampire hearing.

He would believe me. He had been suspecting it from his check up with his colleagues' younger sister. He was concerned.

"I'll leave you to your brooding then..." and with that, Alice fleeted downstairs to greet her husband's long time friends.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"...her eyes had retained that blue" I nodded my head, I knew the blue that Carlisle meant. There was no other blue to compare it to; it was a Danishka blue "but they seemed darker, blacker but not flat"

We had left the house, unnoticed, as Jasper and Peter reminisced about their old war days while the women talked about Rosalie and Emmett's oncoming thirty-third honeymoon trip to Africa.

It was important that Peter and Charlotte especially not hear about Danishka. Hearing thoughts and an obsession with a blood-craving human girl qualified one as an insane vampire.

"she had been so skittish when Cindy was in the room, she refused to look at her!" Carlisle's latent British accent emerged as his excitement took hold of him.

_This is amazing, If I had gotten a blood sample...!imagine the composition, her dna... what could it mean. Cindy's insistence for a brief check up, breaking into my office like that..._

"she isn't an experiment Carlisle!" I said, a little too harshly and regretted my tone immediately. I had been rash...

"No, I know son... I'm sorry. If the Volturi gained knowledge of her, I'm more than positive their interest will be nothing if not cruel"

I cringed at that, fear over whelming my senses as his memories of his stay with the Italian Vampire Royalty moved through his thoughts. They would want her turned or killed; Humans where not to be privy to such knowledge. Especially a defective human...

"I don't think she has eaten, I watched her through lunch and she did not eat and on the field trip she ate nothing." I looked through the dark forest at the distant light coming from out house. It was dark but that did not stop my vampire eyes from seeing.

"she was weak, I think she is having difficulty eating food" I said wearily. "she asked me for help"

Pain shot through me as I realized I had not understood her fully, yet again. She wanted me to help her, to dismiss the dreaded thirst and make her whole. An impossible thought fleeted through my mind that I had somehow caused this, brought it on her...

"she knows of us?" Carlisle studied me, but I could tell through his thoughts he was not angry or disappointed. I never wanted to _disappoint _my father.

"yes, but she does not have a word for us. She thinks it's just the thirst, I think she feels we may be the same... as her."

"... we have to help her. We have to figure it out before something unexpected happens, Edward. This is very serious"

Carlisle looked up at the dark sky, a worried look on his young but wise face. Never had he encountered something like _this_. A human with a vampires craving for blood, it was entirely different.

_...would that make her a cannibal?_

"she doesn't even know what the taste of blood is Carlisle" I had to defend her. She was no monster like us. She wasn't a new born vampire out of control. She could be helped. We would help her.

"We had better get back, we don't want to be rude to our guests" he smiled sheepishly.

_He is so passionate about her. So protective, this goes beyond this vampire-human defect..._

" it's an _interest!_" this was getting frustrating.

We ran back to the house to our guests.

"I see her in the forest, she is carrying something... it's the vision from school Edward. I think the time frame is tonight" Alice said, describing her vision even though I could see it from her mind.

I watched her face. She was worried. I was grateful that Alice had also developed an interest for Danishka; she was the only one of my siblings who sympathized.

Rosalie was livid. Jasper was preoccupied with his old friends. Emmett was irritated with me; I had put Rosalie in a mood and now she didn't want to have 'quality time'.

"You can't look further into her future...?" I asked her again.

"Edward... it's only been a second since I checked!" she huffed. Her two visions of the further future were unwelcome. A dead beautiful blue eyed girl in one and in another the same girl dead but living with flat black hungry eyes.

"Thanks Alice, for staying with me... I know it's very inappropriate"

"yeah, well.. Jazz and Peter are still repeating the same old story so..." she smiled up at me from my gold couch that she was lounging on.

"Still brooding I see." Emmett said, entering my room, a frown on his boyish face.

_Dude, major cock blocking tonight!_

"there will be other nights Emmett; I assure you" few things irritated Emmett more than people cutting into his "quality Rosalie time".

"wait, were have Jasper ad Peter gone?" I asked.

_He had decided to show them our territory, telling them about the werewolves and their treaty..._

"Just around our territory" Alice said, picking at a shirt she had pulled from my wardrobe.

_This is a year old... it needs to be rid off! What will Danishka think if he is walking around in old clothes..._

"Danishka lives at the edge of our territory; her forest is by the edge."

"Edward, she is in no danger-"

"you can't know that, they could decide to go through her forest Alice. You saw her wandering deep and getting lost!"

I got up and moved for the window; Emmett blocked my way, still looking irritated. If he hadn't gotten to spend time with his Rosalie, I would not be going to Danishka.

I read his mind swiftly, and feigned to go left before slipping past him from the right. I leapt through the window, landing swiftly on the ground and made my way to the small house by the woods.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was moving slowly, her head low and sniffling. She had been crying. I wanted to run to her, tilt her head back and tell her it would be alright. Everything was going to be alright; I would figure it out and fix it. There would be no more dreams of monsters and blood.

She had a bundle in her arms, it smelt like a cat and blood. It was her ginger cat; I had heard her calling it "Tim-Tom". It was dead.

I panicked when I smelt the blood, almost rushing to check if she was hurt but the blood was animal blood.

She stumbled through the dark although I was sure her eyes were working well over human limits. The moon was out and I wasn't concerned of hiding so much. I wasn't concerned that she would notice me; strange and pale under the glow of the moon and watching her.

She was deep in the forest and she hadn't looked back once to check her bearings. She was holding a small garden shovel under the bundled dead cat. She was not going to find her way back easily.

The tree's blocked out the spot light cast by the moon. She didn't notice me standing still, watching over her. She got to the base of one tree, and dropped to her knees, casting her shovel away from her and clinging to the bundled cat.

"I'm...so sorry" she sobbed hoarsely. "I'm so sorry Tim-Tom!"

Her body rocked with sobs, and with the minimal light I saw her face. She had angry desperate scratches on her face and caked blood smeared over her mouth and chin.

"I'm a monster. I'm evil... a _witch_" she repeated to the night air, to the dead cat, to the confused vampire.

She held the cat in her arms for ten more minutes before placing its body tenderly by her side and reaching for the shovel. She paused, her body tensing and looked around frantically- her shovel held like a dagger. She knew someone was there. Her eyes ghosted over the patch of light seeping through the forest tops and back.

"Edward?" she whispered. There was no one there when she had returned her searching gaze.

She remained still for a minute before she resumed her task. She shovelled the dirt on the side, a new flood of tears overcoming her. Her pouty lips were dry and red. Red with blood. Her skin didn't have that slight grey tone from earlier.

Once she was content with the depth of her grave, she tenderly placed her beloved cat in it and began shovelling the dirt back inside. This time she did it with conviction.

It scared me. She kept whispering 'monster' and 'witch'. Her minds image a series of memories of an old ancient woman. She got up, staring at the soft earth mound at her feet and walked away. It took her an hour and a half find her way back home. When she got home, her sister was not there so she went straight to bed.

I listened to her steadying heart beat, her nightmares tormenting her in her sleep and soft moans escaping in intervals. I couldn't think or formulate reason.

The next thing I knew, I had scaled the side of the house and leapt through her open bedroom window in half a second.

As soon as my feet were on the soft beige carpet, I convinced myself it was to check on her. Her moans sounded pained. Her movement tortured. I needed to know she was okay.

The thought that she would wake up if her super senses heard my quiet landing and if she would smell my scent in the morning did not come up.

Her room had yellow colours in it. It was not dirty, but an "organized mess". There were two piles of clothes in the corner, on either side of an empty lilac clothes bin. In one corner was a small weaved basket with a purple cushion it. There was a label on the basket written TimmothyThomas.

She was in the one small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her brown legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her read.

I looked carefully round her room. It was small and warm. There were books piled near her bed half-hazardly and shoes pushed against the wall.

I wanted to pick up one of the books but I wouldn't move around anything. I stood in the far corner, in the shadows and watched her.

the first thing any male would notice was her curves and exoticness, I realized right then how truly rare she was.

Her thick black hair splayed around her face like a halo, wearing a faded baggy t-shirt and loose cotton shorts, her features slowly relaxing and her full lips parted slightly-she took my breath away.

Or would have if I were breathing.

I stared at her face and tried to think of some way to make the future bearable. Selfishly, I twisted all my options to a scenario that would result in my staying with her. Simply helping her overcome the cravings and leaving felt like a life sentence. She was my heaven, if I had a soul.

There it was, the truth and the only solid reason. I wanted to help her, I wanted her to have a normal life she deserved and most of all I wanted her safe. I _could _only help her and _leave. _If I left, she would be truly safe.

Could a dead heart break? I felt like mine would.

"Edward", Danishka said.

I froze staring at her unopened eyes. Had she woken up, caught me here. She looked asleep and yet she spoke so clearly.

She jerked slightly, and stretched her arm out as if reaching for something. Sighing quietly, she moved restlessly and rolled to her side. Still asleep.

"...help" she mumbled softly. "Ngh, help me...help me save Tim, Edward"

She was dreaming of me. A more accurate statement would be she was having a nightmare that I featured in. She wanted my help. I didn't play the role of a monster in her subconscious.

Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to.

"Save me... I...I can't" she sighed.

I struggled to find words to name the feeling that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough to hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them.

When I surfaced, I was not the same man I had been.

At the time that I had become a vampire, trading my soul and my mortality for immortality in a searing pain of transformation, I had truly been frozen. My body had changed into something that was more like rock than flesh, enduring and unchanging.

My _self, _also, had frozen as it was-my personality, my likes and dislikes, my moods and my desires; all were fixed in place.

It was the same for the rest of them. We were all frozen. Living stone. When change came for one of us, it was a rare and permanent thing. I have seen it happen with Carlisle and a decade later with Rosalie. Love had changed them in n eternal way, a way that never faded. More than eighty years had passed since Carlisle had found Esme, and yet he still looked at her with incredulous eyes of first love. It would always be that way for them.

So these _feelings _and _interests _I held for this other worldly beautiful human girl... they would always be that way for me too. I was in love with her. I loved her.

I plotted. I loved her and I cared for her with an intensity that escaped me. I had to be strong for her. I would help her and exit her life swiftly.

I wasn't strong enough to leave at the very moment, her mind a whirl wind of sorrow and self loathing but I would work on that.

The room was thick in her perfume; her fragrance layered on every surface. That peach chai scent with so many undertones. Her scent seemed to warm me from my core, sending a tingling sensation through my nervous system.

I had to be strong; Alice's visions showed her death in two ways. She had not voiced out the first but I was certain I had played a part. The Volturi would find her or I would lose control. I would not make mistakes I vowed. I Would be careful and strong for her.

I watched her for a few more hours, trying to understand her and how I would help her.

I got home just after the others left for school. Peter and Charlotte were still there.

_That boy is crazy. This diet of theirs, it has screwed him up!_

Peter always found me strange. Truth be told, I found me strange!

I changed quickly, avoiding Esme's questioning eyes. She saw the feverish light on my face, and felt both worry and relief. My long melancholy had pained her, and she was glad it seemed over.

I ran, arriving a few minutes before my siblings did. They did not turn, though Alice at least seemed to have known I stood in the thick woods that bordered the pavement. I waited until no one was looking and strolled casually from between the trees into the full parking lot.

I felt like a free man after decades in a dark jail!

**READ AND REVIEW! Makes the updates come exceptionally fast… suggestions, criticism, love, hate-justifiable hate mind you, what nots… xx tj**


	5. Chapter 5

**YOU AND I**

Danishka had made it to school, I was eternally grateful to whatever higher power had made that possible. After Alice had told me that she saw Danishka wallowing in bed for a good week, seeing her sitting there on our table and waiting for me felt like walking into heaven.

I would've been faster in packing my bag from mathematics, I wouldn't have stopped to check on Jasper (it was his and my last week before hunting) and I definitely wouldn't have made an unnecessary toilet break.

I would've rushed to her and given her all that she wanted without reason or limit.

She sat there, her stress and worries visible on her usually impassive face. She kept frowning and sighing and I wished desperately that I could understand the random images fleeting through her mind.

What did the memory of her running her fingers through her hair have to do with Mike Newton? I felt a familiar violent... anger at the boy. Why should she even spare him a second in her thoughts. Had she been concerned about _him?_

She thought about her bike ride to school. If I had known she would have to cycle to school I would've gone to pick her up.

I longed for her to trust me that way. Would she want to be alone with me? Her mind kept drifting to her cat... it reminded me of how she had said "monster" in the forest. How she thought she was a witch. It became a need inside my...being, for vampires don't have souls. I needed for her to be alright. I needed her to understand that she was pure and good. What had happened to her cat, that was unfortunate but she was not evil.

I knew of evil, I had seen evil and I _was_ evil.

She needed guidance desperately and I was to give it to her. I would give her _everything _and _anything. _Her soft uneven voice saying my name, it brought about the image of her in her small bed and calling for me.

"Uh, if you're concentrating that's fine" she whispered. Her pen hesitated on the page, her uneven breathing paining me. I would've finished the schematics of Organics long ago but her tense posture wouldn't allow me. "Never mind".

How could she not tell that Isabella sat still, intently listening and obviously anticipating our conversation? Her mind must be a chaotic flurry of the past week's events, her emotional state... how she held up, alone with the thirst. She had to be the strongest human I knew, and yet the slight show of vulnerability made me break.

"Maybe what you want to talk about..." I said softly to her. She had to know I wanted to tell her everything. I wasn't with holding from her anymore. "Is best left for when we are by ourselves"

I look at Isabella pointedly and then back to her dark blue-purple eyes. I wanted to drown in them.

"Try concentrating Danishka".

She imagined herself "trying to fly" on my whim. Her humour was still intact even if it were cynical. She liked the sound of my voice, it seemed. All humans do, our voice is soft and musical to them, all the better to call out to our prey...

The bell rang fifteen minutes later and I left quickly; I had to work out a way of telling Danishka the truth without breaking any Volturi laws. I wouldn't drag this out for longer...

I followed her all day through different people's eyes. It would've been easier to keep an eye on her through Isabella's mind if I could read it-the two of them had almost all their classes together. I tried to avoid Jessica Stanley's mind because her resentment and pettiness made me angry in a way that was not safe for the girl. Angela Weber was a good choice when her eyes were available but I settled more and more on the teachers, they provided the best view.

Danishka stumbled through her day; her already awkward walk was more unsteady with her lack of concentration. She tripped over cracks in the side walk, stray books and more often, her own feet.

If she was some sort of vampire, she would have immense difficulty trapping any prey. I imagined her hunting in the Washington forest... and the utter ridiculousness of the thought made me laugh.

It was a grim humour, to think of her needing to hunt but I laughed out loud on my way to History from English and several people shot me wary looks.

Perhaps there was something very graceful about her in stillness, the way she held her head, the arch of her neck...

There was nothing graceful about her now. Mr Varner watched as she caught the toe of her boot on the carpet and literally fell into her chair.

I laughed again. The time moved incredibly sluggish as I waited to see her again. The bell rang and I moved quickly to the cafeteria to secure my spot. I chose a table that was usually empty and would remain that way with me sitting there.

When my family entered and saw me sitting alone in a new place, they were not surprised. Alice must have told them.

Rosalie stalked past me without a glance.

_Idiot_

Rosalie and I had never had an easy relationship-I'd offended her the very first time she heard me speak, and it was downhill from there-but it seemed that she was even more ill tempered than usual this last few days. I sighed. Rosalie made everything about herself.

Jasper gave me half a smile as he walked by.

_Good luck_ he thought doubtfully.

Emmett rolled his eyes and shook his head.

_Lost his mind, poor kid. Blood craving depressed human girl, all the reasons NOT to fall for her!_

"I can't help it" I whispered under my breath, knowing he would hear.

_Just let me know when I can talk to her! _Alice beamed, her teeth shining to brightly.

I sighed again.

It was Isabella who walked through the door first, her eyes flashing to where my siblings where sitting. She stared for a moment and when she didn't notice me, her forehead crumbled and her eyes dropped to the floor. I wished Danishka had concern like that for me...

I watched as Danishka walked in with Jessica, it seemed she had forgiven her already and half listened to her jabbering about the dance.

She bought a drink for her lunch and nothing else. She was still not eating? This was not right... she needed more nutrition than that, I was sure. She had already lost weight from when she was sick. The stress of what had happened to Timtom.

I had not paid much attention to a human's diet before. Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile! There were a million different things to worry about...

"Edward Cullen is staring at you" I heard Jessica say. She didn't specify to whom she was talking to and Isabella turned to look at me. She looked back at the table where my siblings where, and frowned.

"Jessica, he isn't here...?" she said, raking over my siblings frustrated.

"Not you, Danishka..." she stressed, giggling. "He is sitting alone, I wonder why"

Danishka turned and found me automatically. I got the distinct feeling she had known where I was seated since entering the cafeteria.

I motioned with my finger for her to join me. She looked so startled by this that it made me want to tease her. So I winked, and her mouth fell open.

"Does he mean _Danishka?_" Isabella asked rudely. It seemed she was used to being the centre of attention.

"Uh, maybe he needs help with his biology homework" she said in a low uncertain voice. "I'd better go see what he wants"

She stumbled twice on her way, although there was nothing in her way but perfectly even linoleum.

_Keep it honest, keep it light _I chanted to myself.

She stopped behind the chair across from me.

"Why don't you sit with me today?"I asked her.

She pulled the chair out and sat, staring at me the whole time.

I waited for her to speak, it took a moment but finally she said, "This is different"

"Well..." I hesitated and then smiled at her politely. It was necessary to be alone. Whether I had biased intentions or not.

She stared at me, waiting for me to add something to my one word.

"I got tired of staying away from you so I'm giving up" what made me say that? I held my smile in place with a bit of effort. This wasn't working, trying to be honest and casual at the same time.

She sighed, staring at her bottle with a frown.

I realised that maybe I hadn't thought of the possibility that she didn't _want _me with her. All the many clues I had deluded myself into believing, the few times she had looked at me and almost smiled making me feel like I wasn't some monster...

"Maybe you were right to stay away" she whispers, her eyes never leaving the bottle.

"I seem to say too much when I'm with you" I say.

She looked down and stared intently at the lemonade bottle in her hand. The curiosity to understand her, to know what exactly she was thinking behind that white noise, tormented me.

"What are you thinking?" it was a relief to say the words out loud at last.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are and if I am the same"

I sighed, leaning back and trying to control the panic twisting in my body.

"We are not the same" I whispered.

"Then... you are something else?" she asked, her voice uneven. "I'm definitely not _normal _either"

"You are a lot more normal than I am, than I could ever dream of being, Danishka" didn't she see that? She saw _everything_ and she didn't see that I was far off from anything normal! So she had killed her cat... she could get a new one. I had done worse, much worse...

"Do you have any theories on what _I _could be" I chuckled lightly, trying to get her to look up at me. The conversation was taking on a grim tone.

She peered at me before looking back at her lemonade. She stared for so long that it seemed she wouldn't answer.

"That's _really_ frustrating, you know"

My complaint sparked something in her. Her eyes flashed and her words flowed more swiftly than usual.

"no, I can't _imagine_ why that would be frustrating-just because someone refuses to tell you what they are thinking, even if all the while they are making cryptic little remarks designed to keep you up all through the night wandering what they could mean...now why would that be frustrating?"

I frowned at her, upset to realize how my avoidance of her and evasiveness had really bothered her.

She went on. "or better, say that that person did a wide range of bizarre things-from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of either even if he promised. That also, would be _very _non-frustrating".

It was the longest speech I had ever heard her make, and it made me realize another one of her qualities.

"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"

"I don't like double standards"

She was completely justified in her irritation, of course.

I stared at Danishka, wondering how I could do anything right by her when the silent shouting in Tyler Smith's head distracted me.

I had almost forgotten about him; I automatically tuned his mind out after he had managed to delude himself that Danishka was interested in him.

He was so irate that it made me chuckle.

"What" she demanded.

"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you-he is debating whether or not to come over and break up our fight" I would love to see him try. I laughed again.

"I don't know who you're talking about" she said in an icy voice. "But I'm sure you are wrong anyway"

She dismissed him so readily. I liked that _very _much.

She went silent again, a frown on her face and her lower lip jutting out. What was she thinking? Our continued interaction had caused her mind to go silent completely; even her images had gone blurry. I noted that if I was actively talking and communicating with her, her mind went into a sort of defence mode gradually.

I stared into her eyes; trying to understand her... the depth of her dark eyes seemed to hold so many secrets...

She looked away, opening her lemonade and taking a sip, her eyes on the table.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked her.

"No, you?" she eyed the empty table between us.

"No, I'm not hungry" I definitely wasn't that.

She stared at the table, her lips pursed. I waited.

"Could you do me a favour?" she asked, suddenly meeting my gaze.

She wanted the truth. The truth I wasn't permitted to give her by law. The truth of how I was a monster. If I had decided to give it to her before, in any way... I had back tracked in that moment. Being with her, inhaling her fragrance and hearing her voice directed only to me... made me _extremely _selfish. I couldn't lose her so quickly, not just yet. I needed to have my fill before I walked away from the well. For that was what my life had been, a desert. Dry, alone and _burning._

"I just wondered..." she said slowly, staring at the lemonade bottle, tracing its lip with her littlest finger. "If you could warn me before hand, the next time you decide to ignore me... for my own good. Just so I'm prepared."

She wanted warning? Then being ignored by me was a bad thing. I smiled.

"That's fair"

"Thanks" she said, looking up and looking so relieved.

"So..." she began, pulling me out of my own relief that she hadn't asked about my nature.

"Yes?"

"Are you some kind of super powered being?" she whispered quickly, her eyes darting back to her bottle and her body heat increasing. I looked at her face and saw how her chocolate skin had tinged red-this wouldn't be so recognisable with human eyes. She was blushing...

"What if I'm not the super hero...?" I said, smiling and trying to sound none threatening. "What if I'm the bad guy?"

"Oh" she whispered.

"Do you understand?" I asked, working to conceal my agony.

"You're dangerous?" her breath hiked and her heart raced.

She finally understood. Now, she would run. Could I be allowed to tell her I loved her before she left? Would that frighten her...?

"But not bad" she whispered, shaking her head and no fear in her clear eyes. "No I don't believe you are bad"

"You are wrong" I breathed.

"I don't think so; you know it's possible you _are _wrong. It is possible that our idea's on what's bad and good are greatly at odds"

She always surprised me when she said exactly what was on her mind-in those rare moments-it was shocking.

I stretched my hand across the table, reaching for the lemonade cap as an excuse. She did not flinch at my sudden close hand. She really wasn't afraid of me, not yet.

I spun the lid like a top, watching it instead of her. My thoughts were in a snarl.

_Run Danishka, I may not be able to save you... I could destroy you..._

She jumped to her feet. "We are going to be late" she said. Just as I had begun to think she had heard my silent warning.

"Oh, I have... recess" I said, smiling up at her slightly panicked face. I was always taken by surprise by her responsible behaviour.

The complete opposite to me. I didn't feel like being taught the fundamentals of French when I could write entire novels in the language.

"Right..." she looked at me briefly, two consecutive short glances and then walked out of the cafeteria.

I sighed. When she was out of sight, I put the lemonade cap in my pocket-a souvenir of the most consequential conversation-and walked through the rain to my car.

Debussy was playing and I closed my eyes, willing my restlessness to go away. All I could see was her sad smile, her slight form-how she had lost so much weight-and those dark deep eyes. Her eyes had been a brilliant blue when she had first arrived in Forks, but of late they were resigned to either a purplish blue(and this was after she had had the cats blood) and their dark almost navy colour.

"_Your eyes were black when I last saw you and now they're gold"_

I sat upright as the realization of what was happening to the centre of my world sunk in. Her eyes had lighten after she had fed from the cat... they weren't flat black as my own-as vampires got-but they were darkening.

She wasn't eating, she had barely managed to finish her lemonade and she was too aware of Bella's scent. I thought about how her face had been more drawn, her soft roundness egging away, her full lips more pronounced and her hair was _definitely _growing on its own pace.

Did she _need _blood?

I couldn't dispel the fear that somehow my close interactions with her had caused it. Somehow I had done this to her. In the course of the accident, when I was trying to save her... maybe I had not been as careful as I should. Somehow my venom... that theory was dispelled immediately. I wasn't some slobbering buffoon who dribbled-for that was the only way my venom could have entered her system. And even then, she would be a _vampire _by now.

This was something else...

My internal musing was brought to a halt by a wave of mental anguish. I looked toward the distress.

_Ah, she is passing out... _Mike panicked.

A hundred yards away, Mike Newton was lowering Danishka's limp body on the sidewalk. She slumped unresponsively against the wet concrete, her eyes closed and her skin a chalky brown.

I almost took the car door off.

"Danishka?" I shouted.

There was no change in her lifeless face when I called her name. My whole body went colder than ice.

I was aware of Mike's aggravated surprise as I sifted through his thoughts. He was only thinking of his anger towards me, so I didn't know what was wrong with Danishka. If he'd done something to harm her, I would annihilate him.

"What's wrong-is she hurt?" I demanded, trying to focus on his thoughts. It was maddening to have to walk at a human pace. I should not have called attention to my approach.

I could hear her heart beating and her even breathing. As I watched, she squeezed her eyes more tightly shut. That eased some of my panic.

I saw a flicker of memories in Mike's head. They had been in Mathematics. Danishka and Bella were seated behind him. He had been listening in on their conversation. Bella wanted to know what Edward wanted. If I had asked about her... that infuriated Mike, and he had turned around to stop the conversation.

She was pale, had a sheen of sweat over her brow and her eyes weren't focusing.

"What's wrong, Texas?" he had asked. He liked her but not as much as Bella and both girls' _fascination _with me was unwelcome.

Danishka had got up, swayed and dropped to the floor.

She was weak, I concluded.

"I think she's fainted" Mike said, anxious and resentful at the same time. "She's been all kinds of unwell this whole week"

_Mentally unwell too, I can't believe she is **still **trying for Cullen! What's his deal, if he wants a quick lay he can get it from somewhere else...easily too!_

Ignoring the anger coursing through me, I knelt beside her while Mike hovered next to me, furious at my intervention.

"Danii, can you hear me?"

"No" she groaned. "Go away"

The relief was so exquisite that I laughed. She was fine.

"I was taking her to the nurse" Mike said. "But she wouldn't go any further"

"I'll take her, you can go back to class now" I said dismissively.

Mikes teeth clenched together. "No, I'm supposed to"

I wasn't going to stand around arguing with the wretch.

Thrilled and terrified, half-grateful and half-aggrieved by the predicament which made touching her a necessity, I gently lifted Danishka of the pavement and held her in my arms, touching only her clothes and keeping as much distance between our bodies as possible.

I took long strides forward.

Her eyes popped open in astonishment.

"What...? Put me down" she ordered in a weak voice-embarrassed again I guessed. This would be the second time she had been sick in front of me... she didn't like to show weakness.

I barely heard Mike's shouted protests behind us.

"You look awful" I grinned, she was awake and lucid. Nothing too serious.

"Put me back on the side walk" she said her lips ashy and dry.

We got to the nurses office and she got her check up. I used persuasion to stay with her; looking into the nurses eyes and lying swiftly that I was to be by Danishka's side.

I quickly went to the secretary's office, to arrange my excuse more legally.

The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see. She didn't notice my silent entrance.

"Mrs Cope?"

The woman with the unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened. It always caught them off guard, the little markers they didn't understand, no matter how many times they had seen one of us before.

"Oh" she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. _Silly _she thought. _He is almost young enough to be my son, too young to think of in that way._

"Hello Edward, what can I do for you?" her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.

Uncomfortable but I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy since I knew instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.

I leaned forward, meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless small brown eyes. Her thoughts were already in a flutter; this should be simple.

"I was wondering if you could help me with my permission slip" I said in a soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans. "I am to drive Danishka Nebari home, she fell ill during class...terribly so"

"Of course Edward" _too young, too young _she chanted. Wrong of course, I was older than her grandfather. But according to my driver's license, she was right. _They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer in a test-like they found some way to cheat in every subject. I'll bet their mother tutors them..._

I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth, letting the expression soften my face. Her heart drummed faster. _Too young _she reminded herself.

"Okay, I'll just, uh, fill in the, uh pencil...!" she turned beetroot red and spun around looking for the form "...with the form"

"To fill in the form with your pencil, you mean?" I corrected her, smiling patiently. Humans where ruled by their hormones. Well, vampires were ruled by their instincts...

"Here... just sign it here so I can..."her thoughts got jumbled again as she stepped closer to me. "So it, the form...uh...photo copy".

I filled it in and left Mrs Cope to her photocopying in peace, walking too fast back to the nurse's office. I saw the elder nurse and she glared at me. I maintained my stance; I had nothing to hide but my nature.

The elder nurse blinked and moved away from me, uncomfortable with looking into my eyes for too long. Why couldn't Danishka react that way?

Danishka chuckled lightly from the sick bed she was sitting on. I looked at her, a smile creeping on my face.

"You were right, from before..."she didn't finish, and just looked at me expectantly.

"I usually am" I said, trying to keep the humour from turning sour. "But about what in this particular time?"

"Ditching is healthy"

Ah, relief again.

She was silent then. She just breathed in and out, her lips gaining a slight red tinge to them. Her mouth was slightly out of balance, her lower lip a little fuller than the top. Staring at her mouth made me feel strange-made me want to move closer.

"You scared me for a minute there" I said- to restart the conversation so I could hear her voice again. "I thought Newton was dragging your dead body to bury in the woods"

"Ha ha" she said.

"Honestly, I've seen corpses with better colour" this was actually true. "I was concerned that I would have to avenge your murder". And I would have.

"Poor Mike, I bet he is mad" she sighed.

Fury pulsed through me, but I contained it quickly. Her concern was surely just pity. The memory of her worrying over Mike in Biology drenched my hope.

"He absolutely loathes me" I told her, cheered by that idea.

"You can't know that"

"I saw his face-I could tell" she looked at me suspiciously and then just shook her head slightly. I longed to feel the texture of her hair, when it moved with her slight shake.

Mrs Hammond, the nurse, returned with an ice pack.

"There you go, dear" she said as she laid it across Danishka's forehead. "You're looking much better"

"I think I'm fine" Danishka replied. She didn't like being taken care off.

She jumped off the bed quickly, before Mrs Hammond had a chance to push her back down and moved to the door. I followed her, amused at her sudden vigour at getting out. A few feet out of the nurse's office we bumped into Mike.

"_You _look well" he said rudely. I wanted to reach out and teach the boy some manners!

"Yeah, but I won't be returning to class" Danishka said carefully. "Will you cover for me... say I'm in the sick room?"

_No! You probably want to go off somewhere with _Cullen

"Yeah, of course" he looked at me sullenly. "You going right, this Saturday... to the beach"

"Yes, I said I was in" she promised him.

She had said yes to him. The jealousy began to burn inside of me. No, it was just a group outing, I tried to convince myself. She was just spending the day with friends.

"We are meeting at my dad's sore at ten" _And Cullen's NOT invited!_

"I'll be there"

"See you" he said before wheeling off to class, his thoughts an angry hurricane

_What does she see in that freak? Maybe it's the money or something. He isn't even good looking... he is too perfect or something. She has got Bella all worked up for him. What the hell do these girls see in them? I bet their dad experiments with plastic surgery on them... sometimes, when he is looking at me, I swear he is thinking of killing me...Freak..._

Hmm, other girls? I thought about the secretary's reaction to me... the fluttering of her eyes, her increased heart beat. Was Danishka's reaction to me _attraction?_

I liked to believe that it was this. I knew I couldn't get my hopes up.

We walked out and she stopped for a moment, turning her face up at the slight drizzle of rain. Something about this was of, and after a moment I realized it was because human girls normally ran for cover from the rain. They wore make up and wouldn't want it to get smeared.

Danishka had a slight smile on her face.

Her skin was smooth and had no traces of makeup, nor should it. She was perfect.

She started to walk away from me.

"Where do you think you're going" I was almost angry that she was leaving me. I hadn't had enough time with her, not yet.

"I'm going home, _Edward_" she had stopped walking but hadn't turned around to face me. "You're not going to yank me to your car like before, I hope"

Oh, right. The first time we had ditched Biology together. The best day of my existence.

"If you don't turn around I might do just that"

"Do you think I'm going to let you cycle in your condition?" I asked. She wouldn't like any implications of weakness but it was absolutely _preposterous _that she should be cycling in her weak state.

"What condition?" she sighed, turning around anyway. "And what about my bike?"

"I'll ask Alice to drop it off after school" I said, pulling the arm of her sweater and leading her in the opposite direction.

She huffed and attempted to resist.

"Let go!" she said, twisting her arm sideways and nearly tripping. I held one hand out to catch her but she righted herself before it was necessary. I shouldn't be looking for excuses to touch her.

I let her go and she stumbled to the side of the car. I would need to be more careful with her, taking into account her atrocious balance.

"You are so _pushy_!" she opened the door and sat petulantly in the passenger's seat, her arms folded over her chest and her lower lip quivering in anger. I had to tear my eyes away from her mouth...

"This is completely _unnecessary_" she said coldly. I thought she looked embarrassed under the pique.

I turned the heater up so she wouldn't be uncomfortable and turned the music to a nice background level. I arranged the order on the c.d so Debussy would play.

She looked at the stereo and smiled and then turned her head back to the window.

"What?" I asked.

"You remembered I like Clare de Lune" she didn't turn to look at me.

I couldn't help but smile. I remembered everything, every conversation and definitely every quality about her. How could she not see how utterly absorbed I was in her. I cherished this fact that she was a fan of the classics; it was one thing we had in common-and Isabella's blood I supposed.

I drove out toward the exit and watched her from the corner of my eye. She was biting her lip slightly, it was almost unnoticeable. She did that when she was pensive. I stared at this, examining how it made me feel...thinking about the secretary's reaction again...

"So, you stay with your sister alone?" I asked, snapping her out of her reverie.

"Uh, yeah...how do you know that?"

"From the hospital, she was your only family present." That was a quick save, my tendency to say what was on my mind would come back to bite me.

She was quiet again, staring at the rain with unseeing eyes, just like me. I gripped the steering wheel tightly. I hoped I hadn't stepped out of line; maybe family wasn't a topic she wanted to venture into.

"Cindy and my grandmother are my only family" she said, suddenly.

"What is your sister like?"

"She doesn't really look like me, she is tall and slender" her voice took a wispy tone. "She is pretty. I'm more opposite..."

She paused and then continued. "She is a lot more outgoing than I am. Braver too".

I doubted that. I doubted everything. She was the one allowing an obsessed vampire to drive her home...

"She is responsible and very normal but she is the closest to a best friend I have" her voice had gone melancholy and her forehead creased.

She almost sounded lonely, like she didn't live with her sister and was in some unknown environment.

I stopped in front of her house, wondering too late if I was supposed to know where she lived.

"So why did you move to Forks?" I asked, willing to extend the conversation.

She grimaced, bowing her head a little then turned to look at me, studying my face. An invisible heat crept over my stone face at her gaze.

"Cindy and I..."she began, and then shook her head.

She remained silent, staring angrily at her house.

She hesitated again and then continued deliberately, "Cindy got the job at the hospital, under your dad. It was a good opportunity and it came at a good time"

The story had been edited; she had decided that she wouldn't trust me with the full story.

"Do you mind the move" I asked, edging her on and asking the same thing differently.

"No, I guess not" she sighed. "I do miss my grandmother"

"Is your mother alive?" I asked warily. I didn't want to cause her pain but it was a detail that nagged me.

"No, she died birthing me" she said without emotion. "My grandmother raised me mostly"

"In Texas?

"No, in Africa and Brazil" she said thoughtfully. "Cindy was raised here...in America, that's why she's got that Texas twang"

She giggled unexpectedly and shook her head.

"Where in Africa...?" I asked, as long as she was in good spirits about my question.

"Uh, Gabon...I know you know it" she smiled freely.

"Yes, I do actually" I smiled back at her.

"I don't remember anything really, just the forests" she played with the string of her hoody. "I don't even think that's where I am o_riginally _from... my grandmother likes to move around a lot. At one point we stayed in the Amazon with her sister for like, five years"

She had travelled the world and from the way it sounded, it was the _old world _she visited. Worlds were the supernatural was a lot more active. She could have been exposed to something, from such a young age.

"You're very...generous. Allowing your grandmother and sister their happiness" I said to her.

She shrugged. "They are my family, that's what you do with family"

"Do you think they would be as generous with you...?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's say with your choices in geography, in people..." I tried to keep my voice casual when I said this. How _stupid _to even think of someone approving of me for their sister, their granddaughter...

"I-I guess" she muttered, reacting in some way to my gaze. Fear... or attraction?

"No one too scary though" she added

"Do you thing _I _could be scary?" I asked her, trying to smile a little.

She thought it through before answering me in a serious voice. "If you _wanted _to be"

I was serious too. "Are you frightened of me now?"

She answered this at once, not thinking this one through. "No"

I smiled more easily. I did not think she was entirely telling the truth nor was she truly lying. She wasn't frightened enough to want to leave at least.

"So now are you going to tell me about your family, it's got to be so much more interesting than mine?"

Ah, of course. Danishka didn't let anything go. She had also made a promise to me, hadn't she?

"What do you want to know" I was already laying restrictions and editing my 'family history'

"The Cullen's adopted you?"

"Yes"

She hesitated and then spoke in a small voice "what happened to your parents?"

This wasn't so hard; I didn't even have to lie to her, "they died"

"Oh, I'm sorry" she mumbled, clearly worried about having upset me.

_She _was worried about _me?_

"I don't really remember them that clearly" I assured her. "Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now"

"And you love them" she deduced.

"Yes, I couldn't imagine two better people" I smiled. In that one circumstance, the matter of parents, my luck could not be denied.

"And your brothers and sisters?" she asked.

If I let her push for too many details, I would have to lie. I glanced at the clock, disheartened that my time with her was up.

"My brother and sister, Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me"

"Oh, I guess you have to go" she didn't move.

She didn't want our time to be up either. I liked that very, very much

"Have fun at the beach" I said, looking out at the pouring rain. "Good weather for sunbathing"

"Won't I see you tomorrow?"

The worry in her tone pleased me.

"No, Emmett and I are starting the weekend early" I was mad at myself for having made that plan. I could break them... but there was no such thing as to much hunting at this point. And my family was going to be concerned enough with my behaviour without me revealing how obsessive I had turned.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, not sounding happy at my revelation.

"We are going to be hiking in the Goat Roads Wilderness" Emmett was eager for bear season.

"Oh, have fun" she said half-heartedly. Her lack of enthusiasm pleased me.

As i stared at her, I began to feel agonized at even saying a temporary good bye. She was still weak, soft and I had discovered exceptionally vulnerable. It seemed foolhardy to let her out of my sight, were anything could happen to her. And yet the worst thing that could happen to her would result from her being with me.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" I asked seriously.

She nodded her eyes wide and bewildered by my intensity.

Keep it light.

"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So try not to fall in the ocean or get run over by anything, all right?"

I smiled ruefully, hoping she couldn't see the sadness in my eyes. She was offended by my teasing and glared at me.

"I'll see what I can do" she snapped, jumping out into the rain and slamming the door as hard as she could behind her.

Just like an angry kitten that believes it's a tiger.

I curled my hand around her bicycle lock key I had picked from her jacket and smiled as I drove away.

**AUTHORS NOTE: remember to review! Nephesh healer chapter updated. **


	6. Filler chapter

**AUTHORS NOTE: thanks for the love everyone. This chapter is a sort of back in time chapter to fill in the days Danishka was not in school and some little bits of information that Edward won't know as well as her own view of Edward Cullen! Please review if you were comfortable reading in this perspective… very important because the next chapter highlighting when Jacob breaks the treaty and talks about the legends and the scene when Edward stops the assault in the alleyway and goes for dinner-Its already written and completed in Danishka's perspective.**

**DANISHKA**

_**The days Danishka was absent from school-the reason why and how she got the sick note from Carlisle**_

**ALTERNATE YOU**

This could not be happening.

I was staring at the misty mirror. The small bathroom was filled with mist; I had taken a lengthy shower to unwind. My sleep had been anything but peaceful; what with the nightmare of those red eyes… it had been an especially vivid one last night. I had woken up tense, my muscles locked and my throat aching. That slow burning ache from Bella's first day…

My skin was damp and the little veins of my iris prominent. I glared into the reflection of my eyes. This did not make sense and yet it gave answer to a previous question. The thirst I felt, the slow calm torturous beating of my own sister-Cindy's heart downstairs and finally my own mental strain. I could think of nothing but her heart beat.

Most women had a feature on their self they loathed or would love to change. It could be their weight, their skin or hair colour. I had always hated my blue eyes. I wished they were brown… but _black?_

Flat black hungry eyes were staring at me. My lips were ashy and dry. My mouth was dry. And my muscles had not loosened up.

_Duh duhm duh duhm duh duhm_

Ah, I had to get dressed. Or did I? I looked sick. I was sick. Maybe Monday was not my day. The weather was all wrong; dark angry clouds looming in the sky threateningly so early. Breakfast smelt like poison; burning fat in oil –bacon. But Cindy, and that _duh duhm duh duhm_…

It was decided. I was ill, I had to be home. Away from people.

I exited the bathroom swiftly, clutching my bathrobe to me and stood on the landing.

"Cindy…" I said. My voice was hoarse and strange. Pitched. It may have been my sensitive ears.

She came and stood at the foot of the stairway; her eyes huge and her expression stoic. She was holding a spatula and wearing a pink apron with white flowers over her work clothes. She looked up at me, and then looked away a few times before managing to hold my gaze.

"You look like Death…"she said, shuffling uneasily from foot to foot. There was no humour in her tone. She had been all about me going to school every single day; no excuses. The prospect of me breaking that record didn't sit well with her.

"Ok, you're mobile. Get dressed, come down stairs and try eating something." She ran her fingers through her hair and looked panicked.

I headed to the bedroom; not caring that I left wet foot prints behind and closed the door. My head throbbed, my joints hurt and that ache in my throat… I missed my grandmother. She would have known what to do, what to say and if it was normal or Danishka normal.

Cindy would play doctor and pile me with drugs so I would stop whining. I didn't mind at the moment; anything to stop my body from hurting as it did!

Getting dressed was almost impossible; my joints refusing to allow my limbs to bend and my muscles were adamant not to uncoil. I could hear Cindy placing food in a plate, the serving spoon she was using scraping the pot in a nauseating sound and the plod of whatever she had placed on the plate. Her heart beat was a nagging sound in the background that would not go away.

I moved heavily along the corridor until I reached the stairway balustrade. I looked down and felt instantly dizzy; the downstairs floor could not be that close! The decent downstairs was a torturous one, my body weighed a ton and my eyes and mind were not in sync.

"Danii, we are running against time…" Cindy began impatiently. I miss-calculated the distance between my right foot and the next step; it looked so close! I tripped and went diving down the stairway. I vaguely heard a sharp scream from Cindy from behind the sound of my own frustrated grunt. I twisted my body, pushing my hands in front of me, my fingers splayed open, anticipating the contact of the railing and I gripped onto it the moment I felt it. I held on tight and with all my strength I tried to pull myself up and stop my free-fall but the railing gave in to my weight.

I heard three distinct _snap-snap-snaps _followed by a low groaning and immediately I resumed my fall, rail in hand. I tumbled down, the steps forming a jagged runway for my body and landed with a loud thud at the bottom.

I lay still for a second, my eyes closed and different points of pain all screaming for attention on my body.

I opened my eyes and met Cindy's wide shocked brown ones. Her hands-both of them-were over her mouth and she was staring at me. That's when I felt the sharp pain radiating from my right hand and arm. I looked over and saw that I was still clutching a piece of the rail but part of it had gone through my arm.

Duh-duhm-duhmduhduhm… No, that was _my heart_ doing eighty miles a minute.

The rust smell?

My head whipped round and I glared at Cindy, scanning her. She backed away slowly, her hands had not moved from her face and her expression behind them was of terror. I turned down to my arm, understanding gripping my mind that the blood-smell was my own. That did not dispel the hunger building up in me and the scorching thirst.

Cindy seemed to get hold of her senses and her confused fear, and moved toward me to help.

"Stay away" I commanded. My voice was low and the very use of air through my throat to make the two sounds made me flinch in pain.

She stood still, her hands limp by her sides and waited for me to move. I got up and made to run to the guest bathroom but I moved so incredibly fast that I couldn't see the door. In that second, everything had just blurred by me and I collided with the wall, missing the door by a foot.

"Danii…!"

Stumbling back, I signalled for her to keep back and slowly went in and got a towel to wrap around my wound. The smell was bearable now, and I willed myself to remain calm and allow my sister near me.

"God help me" Cindy pleaded, finally coming towards me and gently prodding me in different places where I suppose newer injuries were appearing. "We have to get to Forks Hospital".

"Why can't you just fix me up…?" I whined disorientated. "We have bandages". What was the point of her becoming a doctor if I was always going to the hospital!

"You have had a fever and you still haven't broken it…" she replied shakily. "And you just zoomed into a wall not to mention the splinter in your bleeding arm!"

"We have to catch the doctor so hurry" we were walking out the house to the car. "Hmm, I want you to get back to school ASAP; you can't be away from school otherwise…"

I remained quiet. Cindy was doing chatting. I hate chatting. What had she said about me having had a fever…?

"Ah, okay then Missy…" she said looking over the car at me nervously. "Let's go get you better, but just hide that arm".

When we arrived at the hospital and got out of the car, I hadn't realised I had been holding in my breath; breathing through my mouth rather than my nose. Cindy was walking ahead of me, greeting nurses and familiar patients in between glancing back at me. My hair was let down, framing my face and hiding my eyes. I tried not to make eye contact with anyone.

She stopped by a door and started tapping her foot to indicate I speed up the pace. My body was aching and the hospital smelt like disinfectant and something else I didn't quite like. When I reached her I looked at the door we were standing by; _Dr Carlisle Cullen._

"We are just going to have to be quick". Cindy was biting her lip, her foot was still tapping and she had begun looking around agitated like she stole something.

"If you're so uncomfortable with me getting treated here why didn't you just do it yourself?" I asked her irritated and equally uncomfortable with her Doctor of choice.

"I already did…" she looked me in the eye, concern washing over her features then looked away. "You've been asleep for a freaking day and a half…puking everything that enters your mouth".

She was now pacing, looking at her watch and trying to bite her lip off.

Well, that explained my ridiculous lethargic state. I looked at my phone, checking the date and it was Tuesday. I had gone to bed ill on Sunday…

Cindy stopped pacing suddenly and squatted by the door, tinkering with the keyhole.

"Keep a look out" she instructed me, her voice shaky and her heart beat picking up pace.

"Why are you breaking into Doctor Carlisle's office?"

"Well, I have to check you myself obviously" she pushed the door handle down, got up and opened the door. "He is way too observant and…good…to get to do a quick check, he'll ask questions".

That made sense. I was surprised by my own daftness at thinking anyone besides Cindy would be giving me any medical attention. Heavens knows what would show up on any cat-scans or x-rays.

Cindy closed the door as soon as we were inside and began rummaging a cabinet for something. Carlisle's office was neat and decorated in under tones of grey-the Cullen family colour. There were no family pictures but a single painting on his east wall.

I heard the door turn and turned around to see the good Doctor standing in the doorway utterly still.

He stood feet away, his face blank and stared at me.

"Morning Doctor Cullen…" I greeted him, surprised by how natural I sounded in spite of the panic building inside of me. "So nice to see you again".

"Like-wise Danishka," he replied, still standing in the doorway.

Cindy was standing by the cabinet, utterly still and her eyes wide and fearful. She was clutching some items I presumed to be medical supplies, to her chest. Her heart was beating so fast and then there was terror on face.

"I..." she began then bowed her head guiltily. Her heart had slowed slightly but the air was perforated in her scent. My mind was slipping in focus and the thirst had returned. I was vaguely aware of my arm and ribs throbbing. The doctor moved towards me, his hand open for my arm.

I didn't like that. I didn't want him near me suddenly. My arm was bleeding still, the blood had started showing through the lime towel and I was weak. Cindy's scent was wreaking havoc to my senses and the doctor smelt all wrong but that somehow distracted me from my sister's heart beat.

_Duhduhmduhduhmduhduhmduhduhm_

"She fell and I didn't want to go through the whole paper work thing…."

"Why did you not just put her under the same file from the school car crash incident?"

His hand was still outstretched for my arm although he was now looking at Cindy. I backed away slowly, my head was spinning and I felt claustrophobic.

"Danishka..?" his clear voice cut through the rushing I could hear to my left, were Cindy stood. I raised my head, not realizing I had bowed over, and met his black eyes. He gasped.

"Danii, let the doctor check your arm, sweetie" Cindy said shakily. When had she ever called me sweetie?

The doctor smelt so sweet, like pansies dipped in syrup and jacaranda flowers. I concentrated on his scent; to stop me from analyzing Cindy's and her heart beat.

My own heart was hammering against my chest. The rushing sound coming from Cindy and her unsteady heart was so loud, how could they not hear it?

I straightened up and tried to remain calm.

"There's a massive splinter in my arm and my ribs are sore" I remembered Cindy telling me something about how telling a doctor where the problem and pain was, rushed the examination. He came closer, smiling.

The towel was slowly unwrapped and I looked away. The rustic scent of blood was in the air. The doctor was prodding gently, his eyes focused on my arm. His fingers were so cold… I liked that. He turned my arm over, a dull pain following the motion and I grimaced.

"Would you hand me the tweezers, cotton and antiseptic" Dr Cullen asked, his velvet bed side voice floating through the quiet.

Cindy placed them by the table where I was now seated. She hesitated, standing awkwardly by the doctor's side and fumbling her hands over one another.

"I'll go get her file and fill it in…" and with that she shuffled off, leaving me alone with the doctor.

The office was quiet, there was no rushing sound or loud heart beat except for my own. Dr Cullen applied disinfectant over the open wound and pulled the wood splinter out slowly. The rail had snapped and splintered before going through my arm… luckily. The edge was as small as a pen, and that was what punctured my arm.

"Now, exactly what happened, Danishka" the doctor asked, he was now using the tweezers to pick out smaller wood splinters.

"I fell…" I replied dryly. I watched numbly as he cleaned my arm. "I had a fever and felt faint coming down the stairs and fell."

"Ah, you had a fever?" he put the used cotton in a silver bowl and wrapped the bandages. His eyes never met mine.

"For a day and a half" I watched his face half dazed. He looked like a movie star in a medical thriller.

"Hmm, I'm going to prescribe something for the fever and luckily your arm isn't broken and the wood splinter didn't go through muscle."

There was no heart beat coming from the doctor or rushing sound.

Cindy entered the office, out of breathe and less jumpy. She closed the door and stood by the doctor; her heart beat making up for his lack of one.

"You look spooked Danii…" she smiled at the Doctor, who smiled back causing her to splutter and smile oddly. "She hates Doctors."

Doctor Cullen smiled again.

"Uh, not you of course…" she corrected, her hands going into their nervous fumbling dance again. "Not a personal thing".

xxxxxxx

My arm, it had turned out, needed stitches and my fever had vanished. The doctor tried to talk Cindy into blood tests and having me come back for some other tests and a check up. We agreed on having my wound checked up on. I had no flu bug or pneumonia. What I did have though, was a new clue about the Cullen's.

The Doctor's eyes were black, when I clearly remembered them to be a warm gold like Edwards had been when I met him. And he had no heart beat. Or maybe I had just not been able to hear his, some kind of defect. People couldn't live without a heartbeat. There was also the matter of him recognising _my _change in eye colour. I know he had. He didn't hide it quickly enough from his face.

Dr Cullen was absurdly handsome for a doctor. I spent the day at the hospital after my arm was fixed, and had witnessed the contagion that was the Carlisle swoon. It seemed almost all the nurses were in some form of infatuation with the doctor. I couldn't blame them…. He was so perfect. Good, over the top handsome and young.

He must be in his late thirties although he looked like he was just exiting his twenties. So young and with a house full of teenagers who he willingly adopted? All of whom were intensely beautiful in varying degrees and pale as snow. Had he hunted down his family tree and adopted all his missing relatives?

The thirst had died down but it remained a constant fear of mine. At least I had managed to eat a muffin before heading home with Cindy at the close of the day.

"Wow, today was very…" Cindy gripped the steering wheel and let out a huff of air through her clenched teeth. "You're okay though?"

She looked at my arm briefly and then returned her focus onto the road.

"Yeah" I said hoarsely. "I… thank you Cindy."

We sat in silence the rest of the way, heaviness in the air with all our fears and the realisation that it was just us two girls against the world.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

**THE MORNING AFTER EDWARD SAW DANISHKA BURYING HER CAT IN THE WOODS.**

**DANISHKA.**

**YOU AND I**

"DANISHKA!"

This was the thirteenth time Cindy had called me. She had been hammering away at my bedroom door, threatening and begging at the same time. Her surgeons hands pounding at the door with each word.

I lay flat on my back; I hadn't bothered to move since her shouting had begun. I wasn't going to move ever again. I stared at the ceiling, it was an egg shell colour and the centre light had a yellow flowery light cover. I had put it last week in an attempt to brighten my room. To keep the darkness away...

I was past crying. That's all I had done last night. Cried.

"Danii, I'm done. It's your choice whether or not you want to go to school." Cindy stood by the door for a few minutes before going back down stairs.

Five minutes I heard her leave the house. She took the Mercedes. I frowned; she wanted me to go to school but she takes the car.

I checked the time on my clock. It was eight thirty in the morning. School had started thirty minutes ago and Cindy was late for work.

I leaned up, staring through the window. The forest looked back at me accusingly. It knew that I wasn't what I appeared. The 'never getting up' promise to myself was immediately broken when the slight movement reminded me that I had to go to the bathroom. I swung my legs over the bed and stretched.

My room was stuffy. I hated it when my room got stuffy, that's why I slept with the window open...

I looked at my window again. It was shut. I distinctly remember opening it, to air my room and get...the cats...scent out.

I walked over to the window and gingerly placed my fingers on it. It was closed but the latch hadn't been secured. Maybe it had slid down in the night.

_I would've heard it shut _I thought. I stared through the window at the dark, too thick forest. The forest knew about me...

I opened the window and inhaled. _Freesia._

Freesia? I investigated the scent; it came from the corner where I kept my giant teddy bear. The scent clung onto my teddy, freesia, and lilac and rosemary rain. Edward Cullen.

My heart hammered in my chest, my hand clenched on to the stuffed toy and my eyes fleeting all over my room. I had thought I had seen him in the forest, in the moonlight. I had had that feeling of being watched. And in my dream, he was there. He had been there.

If he had been in the forest and in my room then he _knew _what I had done. What I had become. A monster.

I felt like I was dying, my vision flashing and a numb sensation swept through my body. I began hyperventilating and I couldn't control myself, my body began trembling and my knees buckled.

My knees gave and I fell to the floor, bracing myself with my hands. I was vaguely aware that I was still holding the teddy. I was being smothered, my breath coming out in short gasps.

He knew, he saw and he was there while I did it!

The thought I was trying to keep away, the memory that was so fragile... the memory of last night. What had happened in the evening, when all I wanted to do was go to sleep and forget the _burn_.

He had been there, watching as I sunk my teeth into the soft furry bundle. When I sucked, the hot liquid pooling in my mouth and my face twisted in bliss.

I had been asleep, the Phenergan finally clouding my mind and relaxing my muscles. There was no way I would have managed the night without medicating myself. Phenergan and the Tylenol knocked me out in five minutes flat.

I had entered numbness, a void that consisted of a vague awareness of my surroundings. Images and thoughts entered and fleeted across my mind. The memory of the thirst and the fear were all conquered in my numb dark lull.

Something furRy had lay by my head. Humming and vibrating. It curled up by my head, its heart beating gently in a slightly more rapid tempo to mine. I had reached out to stroke it...

My hands raking across its small neck, my eyes slitting to see only a ginger haze and it had purred. I pulled it from the neck, bringing it to my mouth and it had not resisted. It trusted me. Tim-Tom...

Edward had been in my room. He had seen me bite into my pet and only trusted friend's neck, and _suck. _Suck as though my own life depended on it, as though this was the end and the beginning. Small sounds of pleasure and joy emanating from my throat while Timtom tried in vain to get away and save his own life.

Edward Cullen had been there when I had turned into a monster. The very moment I had turned into what my grandmother had tried to keep me from, he had been there.

The thirst had been quenched-I grimaced-but what poor fury animal would I pull to my lips the next time it came. Would it even be an animal...?

I was curled up on the floor, my heart beat slowing and my intense apprehension subsiding. I could see the sheets from last evening, stuffed under my bed. The sheets were huge drops of Tim-Tom's blood had escaped my mouth.

I scrambled on my knees, crawling to the side of the bed and pulled them out. I had to get rid of them.

Pulling them out, I looked around my room, searching for the evidence of Edwards visit. How had he gotten through the window? Had he climbed back out through the window?

Had he left while I murdered my cat?

Hmmm, he may have come after the incident. It seemed more likely. A small tension that had formed in my gut loosened at that possibility. He may not have seen me bite through my cat's neck and feed from it.

I looked at my clock, a glimmer of morbid hope warming my heart. It was nine-fifteen am. I would miss the first lesson but I could make it in time for English.

Ah, I would have to go riding my bicycle. That may mean arriving in the middle of Biology. Whatever, it would have to do.

I was so close to giving up, so close to curling into a ball and letting go. If this wouldn't work, I had run out of options. Latent telekinesis was controllable; when I had hit my teen years it had disappeared entirely. This thirst and burning, this monster in me... this was forever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I arrived at school in an hour after leaving home. My muscles hurt from the ridiculous exertions I had put on them. My heart pounded and I was sweating. I was reminded of my morning panic attack. I had to take things easy, calm and collected.

I got my late note quickly, explaining how I had an increased temperature but the moment it went down, I picked up my bag and came straight to school. Forks High has the most committed students...

I rushed through the corridor, gaining a few curious stares when I entered through the offices. It was intermission, I would be going straight to Biology and avoid standing in front of the class to give my note.

I practically flew through Mr. Crowley's classroom door, my eyes darting to our table and a lump forming in my throat when he wasn't there.

"Danishka, man!" Mike greeted me, sliding from behind his table to give me an awkward hug.

I moved to my table slowly as he followed. Where was Bella, I wondered. Mike didn't usually talk to me unless Bella was here...

"I thought you weren't coming, hey" he said, sitting on top of the table, on Edward's side. "I heard about the Lauren and Edward incident"

"Edward?" I had only had a confrontation (it could hardly even be called that!) with Lauren. No one would have paid attention to me and Edward in the car park.

"Yeah, you know.. you asked him out and he rebuffed you?"

"What?"

"Yeah, anyway... I wanted to ask you something" he leaned in, looking behind him at Bella's empty table.

"He didn't ask Bella? I mean, that's not why he set off on you..?" he turned a slight red when he said this.

"No, he hasn't" I huffed.

"Oh. Well, a piece of advice from a friend.." Mike jumped of the table, clearly happier than he had been a moment ago. "When you want to ask a certain type of guy out... you got to look and dress a certain way"

With that, he returned to his friends, across the aisle and didn't look back to see me sitting in shock.

His words rang in my head. I guessed it may have looked like that; scruffy unkept girl desperately tries to get super hot model type guy to date her. Pathetic. It didn't bother me as much as it should, as much as I wanted it to because the only thing I wanted from Edward... was the cure to this curse.

The fact that I had taken a five minute shower, combed my hair with my fingers and worn yet another hoody to school didn't bother me. I had no makeup on( I had tried to hide the scratches on my cheek and neck with Cindy's foundation but it contrasted with my skin and I had to wash it off).

In fact, the only thing on my skin was possibly lotion and deodorant. Damn it, at least I was going out of my way not to be ashy and smelly. Didn't that count?

The rest of the class walks in and my eyes widen when they meet Edwards. He walks over to me, to our table and sits down. Bella places her bag on the empty space beside her and looks back shyly.

I don't know how to begin. Do I just greet him? He looked at me oddly. Any hope that I may have imagined every single little clue that testified to Edward _not_ being in my room, vanished. He sat far away like that because he was sitting next to a monster. He looked out the window and not at me, because he imagined he could escape from this monster.

"Hi, you missed English" Bella's soft voice says, snapping me out of another self induced panic attack.

"Oh" my voice comes out gruff. I swallow, trying to ease the slight ache in my throat from inhaling her scent.

"yeah, I took notes for you" her eyes dart to Edward, a blush creeping all over her pale face and then shyly returns her brown eyes to me.

I study Bella's face self consciously. Even Edward, the apex of perfection, found her beautiful. She was beautiful, I supposed; pale skin, rosy cheeks, thick brownish-red hair and skinny. She had a light blue eye shadow over her eye lids and mascara. She liked these floral tops and cardigans. She was the epitome of feminine beauty; the kind you wanted to protect from the evil witch. Snow White.

"You look...?" Bella whispered, peering through my daydream. "You okay?"

"great" I smiled weakly at her and she turned around. Mr Crowley had begun writing on the board, notes on our field trip and additional stuff on Organic Food.

In fifteen minutes time I had only written the date.

"Edward...?" I whispered. His shiny blue pen stopped moving across the page of his notebook. He didn't look up at me but remained still. I looked at what he had written. He was literally ahead of Mr Crowley, writing things that weren't on the board yet and was on his second page. His writing was slanted, elegant and perfect. It reminded me of his smile...

"Uh, if you're concentrating that's fine" I looked back at my book and attempted to write the first sentence. "never mind"

He sighed, placing the pen gently on his page and looked at me. I met his gaze; his previously golden eyes were dark and intense. His face patient but never relaxed.

"Maybe what you want to talk about..."he said, his honey voice soft and imploring. "Is best left for when we are by ourselves"

His eyes drifted to the back of Bella's head and then back at me. He smiled a slow smile that felt like it took a century to reach his face.

"Try concentrating, Danishka" he whispered. The smile hadn't reached his eyes, but the way he looked at me... he could've told me to _try flying_ and I'd be on top of the roof by now.

He shook his head, chuckling and resumed copying notes that were not yet on the board.

"_The most important thing about recycling, aside from keeping our environment clean is..."_ I wrote, unable to banish the image of Edward smiling at me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**AUTHORS NOTE: REMEMBER TO REVIEW. Okay, this was a filler-chapter on Danishka's side… next Chapter will carry on from the part when Edward leaves her at her house and she has to go to La Push on the weekend. I have already written that chapter but need to know if everyone is on the same page with Danishka's point of view.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Danishka Nebari**

**LEGENDS AND MONSTERS**

Edward Cullen. The name turned over in my mind, his face imprinted on my eye lids and his voice ringing in my ears. Yes, I concluded today that he did in fact make it a habit of being around when something unfortunate was happening to me.

He was being honest, in his way and letting me _know _things about him. I guess I would have to move at his pace and let him see that he could trust me.

That was all that it fell down to, I thought. Trust. If he only trusted me as I trusted him. I had told him about my odd upbringing with the hope he would understand. Understand that normal wasn't something I was accustomed to. I could handle whatever it is that was going on with him.

He hadn't said anything about my cat so I guess I may have imagined everything. He hadn't said anything at all about it, the thirst or blood. I tried countless times to approach the subject but I guess it may be a more sensitive topic than I had anticipated.

How could I just think you can just ask someone if they like _blood?_

He didn't think I was a freak just an accident-prone bumbling-mumbling idiot.

I can't _believe _I stuttered and stammered my way through most of our conversations! Honestly, I thought he did it on purpose, dazzling and charming his way out of _all _situations!

I fainted in class. Who faints in class on a perfectly cool rainy day? I bet everyone thinks I'm pregnant or something...

Having Mike haul me out had to be more embarrassing than Lauren's ranting when we had the field trip. Scratch that, Edward carrying me like some unconscious damsel in distress was by far the most embarrassing moment of my existence-with or without an audience. Edward being the only person there counted for twenty thousand people.

How easily he had carried me... how he _smelt_...

Argh! I got up of my bed, my mental musings continuing their uncharted journey of the day's happenings. I was alone at home, naturally. Cindy had to recover her lost hours at the hospital. Carlisle Cullen had been so kind to cover her shifts when she had to care for me.

Carlisle... Edward's adoptive _dad_. He truly loved him, the way he spoke of him-with such pride and respect.

I still hadn't eaten anything I realised; my appetite wasn't completely lost even though I could feel the vertigo returning. I knew I had o eat _something_ or risk more fainting spells and Edward carrying me to sick rooms.

If it came with our one on one time...I'd faint every day.

I chastised myself, what I was feeling wasn't real. It was his smell. It was his presence. It was his smile...

But isn't that all a girl needs sometimes?

_Not if the guy lifts cars, runs like superman is reluctant to tell you _exactly _what he is _my conscious reprimanded.

I had never had a crush. Ever. I could point a good looking guy out and tell Cindy that I approved of him for her. But I would never moon over _someone_. It had never even crossed my mind in all my years. I might have had a childish crush on one boy when I was six. I had been living in South America at the time... I couldn't even remember his name.

This wasn't a crush. This was complicated.

I rushed downstairs to make something to eat. On my way down the stairs, I saw the broken balustrade. I touched it, feeling the varnished wood with my fingers and wrapped my hand around it. I gave it a yank and it didn't budge.

I braced myself, standing with my legs apart and pulled more intentionally. It remained fixed, even though it was missing the first part of its structure. It was stead fast. How had I managed to break it?

Adrenaline?

I made myself noodles and added a few chopped carrots to the dish. My grandmother would be so proud of me watching my health like this.

_Your grandmother would run for the hills if she knew you not only murdered your cat, but drank its blood till there wasn't a single drop _a wry voice in the back of my head whispered.

I tried ignoring it, reflecting on how I wasn't really thirsty at all... just weak and sore. Like I had been walking around with my muscles tensed.

The thirst thing, it would work itself out. There was no way I could live like this.

I sat on the kitchen counter, my bowl in hand and prodded the food. I lifted the noodle-laden fork to my mouth and chewed. I was expecting the familiar sand-like quality food had taken over the last week. All I tasted was chicken noodles.

I smiled, relief washing over me. I ate heartily, burning my tongue but the joy of_ eating _overwhelmed me. When I finished, I placed my bowl in the empty sink and returned to my room. That would have to be my supper, I was extremely tired.

Saturday I would entertain Bella's plea for me to join her at La Push beach with the some of our classmates. I didn't look forward to it, not just because Edward had basically said he wasn't going to make it but Lauren (she seemed to have amnesia over raving at me) promised the girls that there would be "hot Quileute guys". I wasn't interested in hot guys. Maybe one...

I wasn't sure if today qualified Edward as my 'friend'. I hoped it did, I felt so relaxed with him. Talking was easy, speaking coherently was an occasional thing but he understood me either way.

Understanding a person is what counts.

So he wouldn't be at school tomorrow, which was no reason for me to ditch. I wished Cindy would spontaneously take me hiking or something equivalent. I deduced that the Cullen's were a wealthy well-to-do family. They seemed tightly knit. Edward was truly lucky to have Carlisle and...His wife as parents.

I dozed off, sleeping a soundless sleep with no dreams. It was my first peaceful night of the week.

The next day I took my time with my morning routine. Cindy had left the car keys on the kitchen counter and applauded me for putting the bicycle away properly in the shed. I had almost forgotten Edward's promise that Alice would bring my bike. She must have come when I had dozed off.

I felt guilty; maybe she had attempted to knock on the door to let me know she had brought my bike. I could thank her today I guess. Maybe ask her about Edward.

How _had _she managed to get into the shed, I wonder, without the keys?

I drove slowly to school, dreading the day already. I had almost forgotten about Mike. Stupid Mike with his macho complex. He was sure to have told _everyone _who spoke the English language that I had fainted and Edward Cullen had carried me to the sick room bridal-style.

Bella would want to know every detail and that would irritate Mike, which in turn would irritate Jessica who would go and add fire to Laurens already obvious resentment towards me.

I was in for a long day.

xxxxxxxx

"He just happened to be outside waiting to carry you to the nurse's office?" Jessica asked-cutting into whatever question Bella had been formulating.

I nodded indifferently, not caring for the sarcasm and glanced up at the Cullen's table again. It was empty. They were all not in school today. I thought Edward had said that he and Emmett were starting the weekend early. He had said nothing about the rest of them.

"When the sun is shining Mr and Mrs Cullen like to take their kids camping..." Angela whispered to me, catching on to my melancholy although Jessica and Bella were oblivious. Oblivious or ignoring it completely.

"Must be nice..." I whispered back at her, ignoring Jessica whispering in Bella's ear. My senses had dulled ever since my eating habits had returned to their semi-normal state.

"So, he drove you home...?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I told you that already" I answered, exasperated.

"Uh huh, but did he say anything about Bella?" Jessica asked, glaring at me like I was a traitor. Did he say anything about Bella? Yes. Would it make Bella think I was crazy if I told her exactly what was said about her? Yes.

"No, not in general... we talked about class really" I sighed. "Nerdy stuff"

They ignored me after that and went back into planning the weekend. I was beginning to think I was only really tolerated in their group because of Bella. Bella only hung out with me because of Edward...

I had no friends except for Angela.

My eyes found themselves looking at the empty table across the cafeteria again before I got up and excused myself. I wanted to hasten the torture-get to class early so I could somehow leave just as early.

I handed in my essay at the end of English, anticipating my early return home. I had already started planning what I was going to make for supper. Today I would cook for Cindy-show her I appreciated her. It would also help stop my mind from drifting to Edward. Before I knew it, it would be Monday.

xxxxxxxx

"Are you ready?" Bella asked me at the end of our greetings, over the phone.

"Yeah, I'll see you in thirty minutes?"

"Yeah, okay then. Bye" she hung up and I slumped back in the chair. Saturday had come too fast. I wonder if Edward is still camping...

"You know, Chief Swan is a very nice guy" Cindy said, obviously planning on swinging the conversation to my sudden social life.

"Bella is nice too, then" I muttered.

"I don't get you-you're going to the beach with your friends-why are you sulking?"

"I am not sulking" I grumbled, aware that my mouth was forming a pout against my will. If I was sulking, it had nothing to do with Edward not coming to La Push.

"Right, well...have fun at the beach" Cindy said, already fed up with my mood. "I am of to work; Dr Cullen and I are doing vaccine shots"

"Oh, is he back from camping?"

"Uhm, I don't know... I'm not Carlisle's p.a-I am his attendee" she replied touchily.

With that, Cindy was off to work. At least she would be with a Cullen... even if it was in scrubs-she got to be near one of them. It was a representative of Edward to me. Fifteen minutes later I heard Bella's truck before it stopped in front of my house.

I got out; wearing a more feminine cardigan-it was form fitting-over my blouse. I had tried today, hair had been brushed appropriately and I wore some of Cindy's mascara.

In all essence, I think I had gone all out. This would be my first outing with kids who were my age. I was surprisingly nervous.

"You look pretty" Bella said, looking at me from the corner of her eye as she drove.

"Thanks, I didn't want to stick out" I laughed. I would stick out anyway; it was just natural for me.

xxxxxxxxxx

La Push beach was on the Indian reservation, twenty minutes from my house. It was quiet and peaceful-the full expanse of the ocean edging the beach gently. It was breath-taking.

The rest of the class was here; all dressed for surfing. My cardigan and jeans-no matter how well I thought they suited me-stuck out entirely.

I played with my bracelet self consciously as a group of boys (they were the 'hot Indian guys' Lauren had been talking non-stop about I presumed) approached.

There were five of them, one of them... a tall muscular guy with long straight black hair, looked much too old to be hanging out with high school kids. He looked twenty-five.

Lauren introduced all of them to us and one of them, a Jacob Black, came over to sit with me and Bella. He obviously was trying his luck with Bella. It seemed that was what the beach outing was about-wooing Bella.

"We played together, do you remember, when we were kids" Jacob said, his voice had a husky quality to it.

"Uh, yeah... I think, you have twin sisters' right?" Bella asked, blushing slightly.

I looked at Jacob Black closely and noted that he was quite young-way too young for Bella to be blushing over. He was good looking though, even under the youthful roundness of his face. He had a very bright smile. His russet skin contrasting lovely with his white teeth. His hair was long and straight; a night black that I liked-and he had it tied in a low pony tail.

He met my admiring gaze-because that's what I had been doing-and I almost choked on my soda.

"Easy there" he chuckled, moving to pat my back lightly

"_...chocking on water... now _why_ would that be amusing?"_

I looked around, half expecting Edward to be standing somewhere, cocky grin in place and that smug look in his twinkling eyes.

"You okay?"He asked, peering at me. I nodded, dumbfounded by my own idiotic reaction.

He smiled and politely ignored the hooting coming from one of his friends. Yeah, I can imagine how it looked to them; my blushing and spluttering for their prepubescent friend.

"So you moved to Forks recently Danishka?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest and fighting to maintain a straight face over the whooping his friends had begun.

I nodded, too embarrassed to talk and hating every second I was sitting here. He smiled politely again, a small apologetic smile and returned his attention to Bella.

"What's up Texas...?" Mike asked, sauntering over to me. "You look glum"

"Uh, it's nothing... hard week" I muttered, glaring at the all-too peaceful scenery before me.

"Yeah, I can imagine" he said, scrutinizing my face. "So... Cullen dropped you home after your fainting spell?"

He already knew that detail; everyone knew by now. The only difference was Mike saw how concerned Edward had actually been, even if it was a kind of self-satisfied concern. Everyone else just thought he was a perfect Cullen doing the perfect thing; helping a sickly weird girl.

"Uh, yeah... I had actually asked him if he wanted to come...to the beach with us"

"What!" indignation spread across Mike's face? "You invited _Cullen!"_

By now a few people had turned to listen to our conversation. I cringed at the sudden attention; interested eyes egging me to continue and divulge some fascinating fact.

"I think it's nice that Danii invited them" Angela said, smiling approvingly at me.

"It's not _them_" Mike hissed at her, his eyes bulging slightly. "It's him!"

"She invited Edward?" Tyler Smith asked, shock written all over his face as he strolled from the water front. He had somehow _declared_ me or something since the accident.

"Cullen is a freak" chuckled Eric Yorke.

"Obsessed" muttered Lauren, she had followed Eric from the beach front were they had been preparing to surf.

"The Cullen's don't come here" a deep voice rumbled from somewhere on my side. It was Sam, the oldest Quileute boy-or young man. I stared at him, expecting him to elaborate but he left it that and went back to twiddling a stick he was holding.

I looked at Jacob questioningly and he shrugged.

There was a brief quiet moment before everyone remembered what their various activities had been before the silly mention of "Cullen". Bella and Jessica had gone to the water's edge, letting Mike teach them how to surf. I sat sullenly on a piece of white drift wood a little out of the way of our make shift camp sight and tried to understand the dismissive tone Sam had used.

Jacob Black walked alone down the beach, watching the rest of the gang mingling and laughing in the water. Jacob Black had known what Sam had meant. Jacob Black had tried to hit on me...

I got up and walked briskly down the beach, tripping in my haste and almost falling face flat.

"Hey...!" Jacob jogged to me, lifting me up easily. "You're having an accident spell!"

"Uh, yeah... been having them all my life" I said. Way to go with the flirting plan. Falling was **not **an attractive quality. Edwards little "accident prone" comment popped into my head and I frowned. Yes, tripping and falling was not the sexiest trait.

"So... I see you too didn't come to the beach with the intention of 'surfing the wave'"

"No, not at all" I smiled t him. Jacob was an easy person to talk to. "I came for the scenery"

"Yes, like Lauren...?"

I chuckled. Yes, Lauren had come for a more...human scenery.

"No, not like Lauren, but she is not off the marker in that regard" I fluttered my eyes uselessly. Feeling like a complete idiot as I did it.

He smiled widely, his eyes twinkling and his bright teeth gleaming. There was no sun today, unlike yesterday when the sun had been bright-it was cloud cast but Jacob's smile reminded me of the sun.

It was warm, bright and reached everywhere.

"You want to go sit by that drift wood?" he nodded back at my original brooding place and I smiled in agreement.

We walked back together and I was pleasantly surprised to note that Jacob was as vertically challenged as I was. But not by much. No one had difficulty staying upright like me.

"So what's it like going to school on the reservation?" I asked, already mapping out our conversation back to the topic of the Cullen's and Sam's weird reaction.

"Oh, you know... just like going to school in any other building"

"Ha ha, I mean... it must be nice. You guys seem so grounded" I smiled at him, turning my body to face him and played with my hair.

"Yeah, I guess" he whispered. I think he blushed, it was hard to tell with his russet skin but he looked away shyly.

"Sam seems a bit old to be hanging with you guys"

"Yeah, I guess. But not by much-he is what, nineteen?"

"Nineteen?" I reiterated disbelieving.

"Yeah, anyway, why are you so concerned?" he looked at me slyly. "Don't girls like older guys?"

"Some" I said, thinking of Edward suddenly. "Aren't you like, sixteen?"

He smiled that bright smile of his and shook his head lightly "uh... I'm actually fourteen, going on fifteen"

He smiled apologetically but I had a new found respect for Jacob and his honesty, even if I had known that he was much younger than sixteen. It all fell down to boys and their egos.

"Hey Jacob..." Lauren shouted from the beach. She was with Jessica now and they were both wet from surfing. "Maybe you can get Danishka's head out of the clouds"

Jacob just smiled, obviously not getting Laurens brash statement. It was a jab at Edward; how delusional I was and my little slip up at the camp site had me back on her evil radar.

"What is she talking about" he whispered conspiratorially. He rolled his eyes slightly and I got the impression Lauren wasn't his favourite person too. Jacob was fast becoming a new candidate for my friend post.

"Ah, just that thing about Edward" I said dismissively, gazing at the grey sea.

"Oh"

"What did Sam mean when he said "the Cullen's don't come here"?" I asked looking at Jacob intently.

"Oh, you caught that"

"Yeah..." I smiled innocently at him and he made quick glances at me.

"Well..." he began, getting up and motioning for us to walk further away from the rest of the people. I grinned at him knowingly and he smiled back.

He continued. "I'm not really supposed to talk about it..."

I smiled at him again and brushed my hand against his. He grinned, and tripped over some obtruding piece of wood in the sand.

"Well...it's really just old tales and superstitions that the old people tell their grandchildren. You know, legends"

I knew about legends, my grandmother used to tell me about them.

"Any way, Quileute's are supposedly descendents of wolves. These wolves protected this land and its people. One day, while hunting the forests, they came across an enemy clan: the cold ones"

He looked at me carefully and I realised he had meant for this part to be scary. I widened my eyes and parted my lips slightly and added a dramatic shiver. He smiled smugly (boys and their egos) and resumed:

"These beings were cold, hard and fast. They were caught hunting on our lands. But because they were different; they were only hunting animals- the wolves formed a pact. A treaty really. If the cold ones hunted outside of Quileute land, they wouldn't expose them for their true nature to the pale faces"

He looked pointedly back at the rest of the group. I sniggered at that, shaking my head.

"So, the cold ones stayed of the Quileute land and the wolves didn't expose them for their true nature"

"Their true nature...?" I asked, utterly absorbed in his story telling.

"They are blood drinkers"

I froze, the blood rushing from my face and the familiar rushing sound coming to my ears, the oncoming set of a panic attack.

"And what has that got to do with the Cullen's?" I asked. I felt like a bucket of ice had been thrown over me.

"It's just a story... old folk's superstitions" Jacob reassured me, seeming more shocked that he had managed to truly scare me.

"And the Cullen's are the cold ones descendants...the enemy clan?" My voice was strained.

"Or the same cold ones returned" he winked at me when he said this, punching me lightly on the shoulder.

"If they only drink... animal blood then why keep them of your land?"

"It's just a story, Danishka" he stressed, grabbing my shoulders and looking at me earnestly. "Tales to scare kids"

"Yeah, of course"

"Gosh, you actually have Goosebumps" he rubbed my hand in his warm one.

"You're that good at story telling" I said dryly. I smiled at him weakly and squeezed his hand. He smiled back, his eyes warm and his cheeks darkening slightly. It was barely visible, but it was definitely a blush.

"If it's any consolation... it think I just broke my tribe's treaty" he said. We were walking back to the campsite, it was getting dark.

"Huh?"

"We weren't supposed to tell the pale faces" he winked at me.

"I'm not a "pale face"" I smiled genuinely, and winked at him back.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Cindy was home when I got back. She was sprawled on the couch in front of the television, remote in hand and one leg dangling rudely over the couch's back.

"How was it?" she asked, not turning away from the TV.

"Interesting..." I sighed, glancing at the ridiculous mess in the kitchen. She had baked. Cindy only bakes when she is either craving during her period or extremely angry about something.

"So you had fun?" she continued drowsily.

"Tons of it... and you? How was work?"

"Fine... except for some _ridiculous_ prejudice" her voice took on a comical angry tone due to her sleepy state. "Those people from the Indian Reservation won't let Carlisle treat them"

I froze my heart hammering and my palms turning moist.

"He had gone to the Quileute Reservation?"

"No, I mean... they won't let him or something but even when they come to Forks General, they don't let him treat them. I had to do most of the vaccine shots, that's why he asked me to come in with him I guess"

"Did he seem bothered by it" I asked her. She didn't notice the odd pitch my voice had taken.

"No, Carlisle is all too understanding. The man hates a fight..."

I went into the kitchen and began cleaning. Spinning the Quileute legend around in my head and all facts about Edward. All I got back to was the fact that I had no proof of him _drinking _blood. I had drunk blood. I had gone on their land. I wasn't a cold one though. I was definitely warm and hot occasionally. Edward was cold, constantly.

As soon as I finished cleaning, I searched for the cookies Cindy had baked. I took a few with me to my room. She always makes the best cookies when she is infuriated.

I fell asleep quickly, more stressed by the day than tired.

xxxxxxxxxxx

_I was by the tree. The big tree with the odd scratches on its trunk. I looked closely and the scratches looked like the scratches on my cheek. I touched my cheek and when I removed my hand from my face there was blood on my fingers. Rich red blood. I licked my fingers. It tasted so good. It was my own blood but it was the sweetest and I knew in the back of my mind that no being on this planet had sweeter, richer or more _magical _blood._

_The ground at the base of the tree shifted, earth moving and heaving as if the earth was a rising chest; breathing in and out. And a soft meow came from it._

_I ran from the living earth mound, moving too fast... the trees blurred and their branches ripped at my face angrily. I had a sense of being chased. Was it the dark man with the blood-red eyes?_

_No, this particular monster had four feet and sharp ripping teeth. _

_I stopped by a small clearing. Dr Cullen was in it. He was crouched over something. His beautiful face blank and devoid of any emotion. His eyes were black, flat and a void._

"_Carlisle... we have to go" I shouted. "They want us gone, they want us of their land... we have to go!"_

_He got up, standing too straight and too still. He smiled that warm smile and I knew the wolves couldn't get me. He reached his hand out to me. I moved forward, and then I saw what was at his feet._

"_No... Timtom...no..." I sobbed._

"_It's the only way" he said, his hand still out to me_

"_Not Timtom..." I cried, looking back at my hands. They were still bloody even though I had licked them clean._

"_Then who?" he whispered_

_xxxxxxxxx_

The next morning I woke up and found Cindy fast asleep on the couch. She had left the TV on and the morning news was playing. I switched it off and went to the kitchen to make oatmeal. I had silently made a promise to myself to eat healthily and ward of any form of hunger.

Today I was going dress shopping with Bella, Jessica and Angela. I had only agreed because there was a Quileute shop in Port Angeles that I wanted to go to. It had a book with a number of Quileute legends.

I went back upstairs while the oatmeal cooked to clean my room. I hadn't slept well the previous night; my sleep plagued with nightmares of monsters. Unsurprisingly, I couldn't recall most of the details.

My bed sheets where a tangled mess. The yellow flowery quilt intermingled with the white sheets. I had thrown the clothes I had worn to La Push on the floor when I had changed. It was a simple disaster zone. I spent fifteen minutes picking things up before rushing back downstairs to my pot.

"Morning" Cindy huffed, getting up groggily from the couch. She stretched and I heard her back clicking. It couldn't have been comfortable on that stiff relatively new cream couch.

"Oatmeal huh?" she smiled sleepily and went upstairs. I followed her and knocked on the bathroom door.

"I'm going shopping with Bella today" I shouted over the sound of the shower faucet being turned on.

"Okay!" she yelled back, and I left her singing a bad rendition of 'rolling in the deep'.

Twenty minutes later, Jessica arrived outside my house, Bella and Angela already in her car. I sighed, already regretting agreeing to go with them. It turned out Bella had a thing for Jacob too and didn't appreciate our beach side stroll.

Besides that, a day of giggling and changing rooms wasn't too appealing for me. I would stay with them for a few hours before going to buy my book.

Simple and simple.

xxxxxxxxx

"...blue looks really good on you, Jessica" Bella said, a small smile on her lips.

Jessica returned her smile, but when she turned around I saw her roll her eyes. This had been going on for the past hour; Jessica asking for an opinion and then dismissing it.

Bella sat on the Victorian couch with me, her green dress in hand and waited patiently for Angela to exit the changing room.

"Blue looks better on _you_" I said pointedly.

She smiled and fingered her gown. It was frilly and a horrid acid green.

"You think?"

"I know so" I winked at her and returned to my bookstore brochure. It would only be an hour before I could go to the Quileute shop...

"Uh, Bella...are you taking _Danishka's _advice on fashion?" Jessica asked rashly.

I ignored her and Bella stammered a non answer. As soon as Angela was out, I excused myself and went trekking through the stores.

I had never been the typical shopping girl, I had difficulty buying groceries yet alone clothes. I didn't worry about the formal either because I wasn't planning on going. I had thought about possibly attending it, like a register taker or something. Maybe I could take the photos for the rest of the school. That way I would be there but there would be no physical need for me to get dressed up.

I rushed down the narrow sidewalk to the little bookshop I had researched on. It was called The Little Bear and had a totem man with an eagle on his head outside the store.

It was a warm and had dusty smell of books in it. The shopkeeper was from the Reservation and grinned widely when he saw the book I was purchasing.

"_The Old and Lost Quileute Legends_" he said in a deep booming voice. "You will enjoy this"

I smiled at him and made my way back to the last shop I had seen Jessica and Angela entering. It was getting dark; I probably had fifteen minutes of light so I briskly walked back up the side walk.

I got to the shop and they were not there. This was after I had specifically instructed Jessica to text me whatever shops they would be going into. I checked my ancient mobile for messages. Nothing.

I tried calling her and her phone was off. This was so typical of Jessica.

I walked back up and remembered that they said they would stop for dinner at a little restaurant east of the shop. It was the best place for me to star my search.

I walked up, trying to remember all the shops and signs in case I had to back track. The darkness was approaching all too fast and I was anxious. I wasn't sure exactly where the little restaurant was, I wasn't sure were the bookstore I had bought my book was at this point and my phone's battery was running on empty.

"Hey sweet heart" a gruff voice called from behind me. I ignored it and increased my pace-I was practically jogging now.

"Don't be like that..." another voice said. I paused, realising I was being followed and the sun had dipped into the horizon.

There were three men, all holding beer bottles, following me from across the road. I had thought I was walking up the street but in fact I was walking down. I was down town. A few feet away from all the seedy bars.

I walked quickly, trying to maintain my speed and wrapped my arms around myself. It was getting cold, I was lost and being followed by a bunch of drunken jerks.

I glanced behind me and only saw two of the guys. They were ambling behind me, keeping up easily but not planning on catching up to me. That made me panic, I felt like I was some poor gazelle being stalked by a lion.

"Babe, come on..."

I started running, my breath catching in my throat and my heart hammering in my chest. I was in trouble.

I went through a little ally way, recognizing it miraculously as the one that led to the boutique I had left Jessica, Bella and Angela in. I turned my head to see if the men were following me. They had stopped at the mouth of the ally way.

I ran through a path with bushes on either side of it, brushing against the branches and trying my best not to trip. I got to the ally way's exit and stopped. I looked back at the ally way and heard no footsteps but when I turned around I realised why.

They had gone through a short cut. They had herded me to this desolate docking area in front of an abandoned factory. They were not three men but five and all of them appeared to have been drinking.

"Baby, why you playing hard to get" slurred a voice behind me said. I jumped away, spinning around to glare at the man. He blocked my path towards the ally way. There were six of them and they idled around me, forming a loose circle. They kept inching closer around me.

"We just want to have fun" a man said in front of me. He looked at me greedily, his stance excited, shifting from foot to foot. His eyes were dark and his head sat on a thick neck. His neck was a permanent angry red. I could tell that this man was not drunk. This man had an agenda... a very _conscious _one.

"Lonny, you were right" slurred a man on his right, pointing at me with his beer bottle. "She's hot"

"Yeah, I told you, you have to have a broad selection to truly enjoy 'em" Lonny said thoughtfully, he took two large steps towards me and pushed me hard.

I stumbled back, tripping but managed to stay up right. I thought about something I had heard from Cindy once. How to fight off a guy.

"_Kick them were it hurts the most"_

I stood still, bracing myself as he came again, pushing me but this time I barely moved.

"You got some fight in you huh?" he sneered, smiling a disgusting yellow smile. "That'll make everything more fun"

"Hey, Lonny... maybe we should just let her go now man. We've had our fun" one guy said, sensing that things were taking a turn for the worst.

"The fun has only begun, _friend_" he seethed.

I took his momentary distraction and kicked his groin hard. He doubled over, both hands going to his privates and roared. I hadn't moved fast enough and a blinding slap went across my face. I fell over, scraping my hands as I tried to brace my fall. How had I come to this?

"Stupid _black bitch_" he growled over me. I clutched my cheek, my eyes wide and disbelieving. He started undoing his belt, a sickening smile spreading over his face.

"I'll teach you to embarrass Lonny" he said sweetly. He was unzipping his pants and I was paralysed. Staring in horror.

"Lonny...?"Someone asked hesitantly.

Lonny leaned over me and pushed my legs apart with his knee. I felt like I was watching outside my body. It wasn't me who was lying on the cold tar road, surrounded by drunken men and about to be raped. It wasn't me...

A flash of light appeared suddenly and Lonny stopped struggling with my pants. He remained still, hovering over me, looking over my head at the source of the brightness. I didn't move, wishing the light would burn him, scorch him and I didn't care if I would go in the flame, too. It was my fury and it was all consuming.

An engine revved almost directly over my head and Lonny jumped off of me. I remained still, trying desperately to be invisible. I felt numb and the cold road was suddenly the only comfort I had.

"Danishka" a thrill ran down my spine, shocking my nerves into life.

At least I had met Edward, I had known him and I had seen him smile exclusively for me.

Cold hands pulled me up from the elbows easily and I was tucked under a strong protective arm. It was Edward. He was here.

I looked up at him, unbelieving but when I saw his magnificent face I knew I was safe. It was over, nothing could hurt me and there would be no need for me to seek comfort from an old wet dirty road.

"That was some weird move you did there, man" the man who had told Lonny to let me go said.

"...your last move" growled Lonny.

A deep rumble came from his chest, I could feel the vibrations from where I was securely tucked and a low growl tore its way out of his lips.

I realized the light was coming from Edward Volvo, which was directly behind us that I could feel the heat from the engine.

"Get in the car" he ordered his voice low and dangerous. I moved without hesitation, locking the door as soon as I was inside the car.

I watched through the windscreen as Edward took a step forward towards the six confused men. They stepped back instinctively, confusion spreading across their faces as they felt the terror induced by this one man.

He took another deliberate step and I could hear the inhuman growl from over the engine, inside the car. He was about to do something rash...

"Edward...?" I whispered, my heart beating frantically.

He whipped his head around, a surprised look on his face and in that same second...he had entered the car. The only evidence of him entering was the soft shut of the door. He seemed to have materialised beside me...

He swung the car in reverse and lurching us forward, to leave Lonny and his friends in a terror they would never forget.

Edward's whole body was tensed, coiled even, as if he was ready to spring. His expression hadn't smoothed over and retained a violent scowl. Even in his ferocity, even in his wrath... he was achingly beautiful. A glorious angel filled with an inferno that could consume entire worlds.

"Put your seat belt on" he commanded. I shuddered; his voice was low and husky and had an edge I had never heard in it before.

I pulled the seat belt over me and locked it in place. I jumped at the clicking sound it made and put my hands in my lap, trying to stop their slight shaking.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. His already pale skin was stretched over his knuckles tightly, were his hands were gripping the steering wheel.

"No" he replied, his voice rough and saturated with coarse rage.

"Danishka?" he asked, my name sounding so alluring in his gravely voice. Gone was his honey tone that made me do whatever he asked. This voice sent electricity coursing through me.

"Yes" I croaked. I coughed, trying to rid the lump that had formed in my throat. The nervousness, the fear, the need...

"Are you alright?"

"Yes" my voice was just not working right. It was as if the scream I had been holding back before had scorched my throat.

I looked at him and saw an assortment of emotion passing over his intense face. Fury, anger, frustration, sadness... a heartbreaking look of defeat.

"Distract me, please" he begged.

"I'm sorry, what?" he wasn't making any sense.

"Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down" he instructed, tilting his head to the side and the pained expression becoming a more permanent feature on his face.

"Uhm..." I glanced at him and wished I could see his crooked grin. "I'm going to run Tyler Smith over with my car before school?"

"Why?" he snapped.

"He thinks he has some claim over me" I said, realizing oddly exactly how incensed I was about Tyler's behaviour. "Either he is insane or he is trying to make up for almost killing me last... well, you remember".

He had a slight smile playing on his lips so I continued:

"He thinks declaring I am going to _prom _with him is somehow the correct way to do this. So, I figured if I endangered his life we would be even and then he wouldn't have to keep trying to make amends. I have enough enemies as is... well, Lauren really. But if he laid off she would back off. Maybe if I totalled his car he wouldn't have a ride to take anyone to prom"

"I heard about that" he said, his voice smoothing over, his expression calming.

"You did!" what, I thought I had been the only one to note Tyler's ridiculous scheme.

He kept quiet and looked contemplative. His grip on the steering wheel hadn't relented but I could feel him loosen up. I noted his eyes were closed and I panicked slightly. Yes, Edward Cullen was driving straight and perfect with his eyes shut tight.

He opened them after a second and sighed deeply.

"Better?" I asked cautiously.

"Not really"

"Sometimes I have a problem with my...temper" he elaborated. "But it wouldn't help me if I turned around and _hunted those..."_

He stopped abruptly, his face momentarily frozen in its archangel fury. Then he skipped over the angry tirade. "At least that's what I am trying to convince myself".

"Oh" I managed to respond. How funny he had accused me of having a temper not so long ago.

The fact that I had almost been raped in some dark place that was as desolate as a bone yard hadn't sunk in. Either that or the realisation that Edward somehow had saved my life twice had made it count for nothing. I felt no need to panic or reflect on it. I was here, in his car, with him and completely safe.

"Oh, Jessica, Angela and Bella must be worrying about me"

He turned the car around and we drove quietly back into town. He had a sad look on his face that made me apprehensive but I kept quiet. What else could be said at this point?

We reached the little restaurant that Angela had been talking about. It was quiet and had lights all around it. I spotted Jessica's car and hoped they had only just got here and hadn't had adequate time to worry over me.

But I hadn't said anything to Edward about the little restaurant in the peaceful setting.

"How did you know where...?" I began but I left it there.

How had he known I had come to school on my bike or where I lived? How had he rocketed across the parking lot to push me out of Tyler's vans way? It was a long list of "hows" with Edward. And he never gave answers.

He opened his door, ignoring my unfinished question completely and got out of the car. If Jessica and Bella saw me with him I would be crucified. I had planned on quietly entering the restaurant and explaining in no uncertain terms that I had run into unexpected trouble, but I was okay and had managed to find my book. Hadn't it been a plain and simple plan? No talk of almost being raped by some sadistic drunk guys or saved by a broody growling Edward Cullen.

"I'm taking you to dinner" he said. I gawked at him. This was much worse than anything I had feared.

I opened my door, sulking as I did it (I could tell by the expression on his face this was not up for discussion or negotiation) and was surprised to see a frowning Edward reaching to open my door for me.

I closed it shut and sighed noisily

"Go stop your girlfriends before I have to track them down, too" he ordered. "I don't think I could restrain myself if I ran into your friends again"

I shuddered, remembering how loud he had growled and the deliberate way he had moved forward.

I moved forward, spotting them moving slowly through the small garden by the edge of the building back to the car park.

"Jess, Angela..." I called. All three turned their heads with identical looks of surprise. I waved at them and they walked back to me.

They walked hastily. They clearly had been worried and I felt guilty.

The moment they reached me, they turned their attention to the person standing on my left and gaped at Edward.

"Where have you been?" Jessica demanded failing to sound angry, with the wonder sketched all over her face. She couldn't stop peeking at Edward from the corner of her eye.

"I got lost. And then I ran into Edward" I said, waving a hand over Edward like he was living evidence.

"Would it be alright if I joined you?" he asked politely, his honey voice suddenly back.

Bella blushed furiously and even though I had recovered from the thirst, I could smell how intense her fragrance had gotten in the air. Angela's jaw dropped and I could see that no coherent thought was being formed in her mind. Jessica couldn't stop fluttering her eye lashes.

I groaned. Trust Edward to dazzle my friends to get his way. I was also slightly embarrassed for them; I knew only too well how hard it was to function when Edward pulled his dazzling charm.

"Err... sure" Jessica agreed.

"Uh, actually we all ate, Danishka" Angela said apologetically. "We ate while we were waiting for you, sorry"

I shrugged. "That's fine-I'm not hungry"

"I think you should eat something" Edward insisted. He was using his pushy tone. I groaned. He had really set me up for hell at school...

"Do you mind if I drive Danishka home, Jessica" he asked before I had a chance to deny that request. "Then you won't have to wait while she eats"

"I guess..." Jessica looked at me questioningly while Bella's mouth snapped shut. I winked at her, praying they would just leave and I could deal with their accusations and questions tomorrow.

"Okay..." Angela said, pulling both Bella and Jessica by the arm. "See you tomorrow, Danii...Edward"

Her voice pitched on Edwards name and a blushed crept up her neck. I was so grateful that Angela was such a good friend in that moment.

I watched them leave, smiling at Jessica and Bella when they turned to gawk at me and waved them goodbye when they drove past us.

"Honestly, I am not hungry" I said to Edward.

"Humour me"

And with that I followed him to the restaurant, unable to stop my face from going into pout mode. He held the restaurant door and stood there looking at me expectantly. Sighing, I entered looking back at him. He was smiling his smile.

It was very difficult to be irritated at him in that moment.

We walked to the podium, were the hostess would show us a table and he hadn't stopped smiling. The hostess ogled him, an interested smile appearing on her face but he kept his gaze fixed on me.

"A table for two" he said, his eyes never leaving my face. I could feel my cheeks heating up under his gaze and how thankful I was at that moment I was a rich cocoa brown!

The hostess flashed me a scrutinizing look before moving from behind the podium.

"Oh, err, yes" she said, fluttering her eye lashes and already reacting to his voice. "Welcome to Le Jardin"

She glanced at me again, frowning and rolling her eyes. I pulled my arm self consciously across my body. We followed her to the back of the restaurant and she pointed us to a family sized table in a crowded section

I began to sit, when Edward shook his head no and gave the hostess a fifty dollar bill. She gaped at him but took the money regardless and shot me a warning glare. I got up and we followed her further back.

"Something more private..." he whispered to her. She shivered and mumbled something incoherent. How funny it was to watch him dazzle someone who wasn't me!

She led us to a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant that was excluded from the rest of the patron's eyes.

"How's this?" she asked, still only acknowledging Edward.

"Perfect" he replied, smiling a striking beam, his eyes flashing dangerously.

Her eyes lost focus and in the light I could clearly see her pupil's contract.

"Uh...your server...she" she mumbled her face completely blank.

"Will be right here" she finished in a hurry, spinning around and wandering out of sight.

"You really shouldn't do that to people" I reprimanded him.

He looked at me, and eye brow arched questioningly.

"It's hardly fair" I added, sitting down coolly.

"Do what?" he asked innocently.

"Dazzle them-she is probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right no!"

He tilted his head and looked at me thoughtfully.

"Oh come on _Edward" _I scolded. "You _have _to know the _effect _you have on people!"

"I dazzle people?" he asked, confused.

"You haven't noticed? You think everyone gets their way so easily?"

"Do I dazzle _you_" he asked abruptly.

His question caught me off guard and I answered impulsively, "Frequently"

"Hello" a voice came from beside the table. A waitress perfectly timed to absolve the tension that had formed between Edward and me.

He stared at me, his eyes raking over my face for some unknown hidden treasure and I simply kept my gaze fixed on the waitress.

She, the waitress, had her eyes rooted solely on Edwards face. He didn't spare her a single glance and I had a feeling she would be standing there the whole night and he wouldn't notice her.

"I'll have a coke?" I asked Edward. I had left my cash in my jacket, which had been in Jessica's car. I couldn't charge anything more on my bank card.

"Make that two..." he added. I looked at him questioningly and he smiled. His mouth pulled up in the one direction and that spark in his gold eyes had reappeared.

"I'm expecting you to go into shock" he said, smiling more pronouncedly, smirking even.

I had to concentrate very hard on my breathing.

"Uh, yeah... that won't happen" I said, turning my gaze to the table. "I've always been very good at repressing unpleasant things"

The memory of Lonny's bland face was already disappearing. Oddly, the smell of his stuffy breath lingered.

"Just the same, I would feel better if you had some sugar in you" he said, leaning back and looking with the same intent gaze. I suspected he expected for me to break down any moment.

The waitress returned with a basket of bread and our cokes and placed them in front of Edward. She turned her whole body towards him, tilting her hair flirtatiously and asked for _his _order.

Edward pointed at me, only paying her attention for a micro second before his gold eyes went back to their exploring of my face.

"Uh, the mushroom ravioli" I said, glancing at the menu briefly.

"And you" she turned back quickly to Edward, an eager smile on her face.

"Nothing" he answered automatically. Of course.

The waitress left disappointed.

"Drink" he directed, pushing one of the cokes in front of me.

I opened it, and took a sip, relishing in its cool taste. I quickly poured it all in the glass provided, drinking it quickly and finishing it in a matter of seconds. It wasn't very lady-like but who was watching...

Edward smiled and opened the second coke and I looked at him expectantly. He shook his head, chuckling as he poured the liquid in a glass and pushed it to me.

I took a sip and shuddered; drinking it slow made it seem colder.

"Are you cold?" he asked. I thought of my jacket sitting lonely in Jessica's car.

"No... It's just the cold drink" I replied but I shivered again.

He eyed me thoughtfully and I felt like my skin would just warm up under his gaze.

"Don't you have a jacket?"He asked.

"Yes...it's in Jess' car" I looked over the table a few feet away from ours were a man was sitting alone reading a news paper.

He took his jacket of and handed it to me from across the table. I put it on too willingly, pushing my hands through the large sleeves and shuddered when it was properly on. It was cold-as if it had been packed away in a freezer rather than on a human's body.

"Thanks" I whispered, inhaling his scent that clung freely to his jacket. Lilac, rosemary and rain and the intense freesia. I thought about my teddy bear in my room that smelt exactly the same only not as distinct.

"The colour green looks good on you" he said, his face serious.

I looked down at the simple tank top I was wearing. It was a pale green and a simple design. I felt the heat creeping over my skin and in seconds I was warm in his jacket.

He pushed the bread basket towards me and I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Really, I am not going into shock"

"You should be-a normal person _would _be. You're not even shaken!" he stared at me in righteous anger.

"...I thought we covered I wasn't normal person"

He sighed, ignoring my comment all together.

"I..." I began, and his eyes were on my face instantly, imploring me to tell him. "I feel very safe with you"

"You shouldn't Danishka" his voice had turned husky with the emotion he wanted me to understand. He meant it.

I ignored this too, if he was in the habit of having selective hearing why couldn't I?

"I noticed that you are in a better mood when your eyes are lighter" I told him.

"You too" he answered without thought, and I saw him back tracking the comment immediately. He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"You're always crabbier when your eyes are black..." I continued. "I expect it then, I have a theory about that"

"More theories?" he asked casually.

"Mm hmm" I answered him, chewing on the bread stick.

He watched me closely; his face an emotionless mask and I almost gave up my plight till I locked eyes with him. Was it possible he was frightened? And of what exactly?

The waitress returned with my food and placed it in front of me. Edward declined the offer for food irritably, his gaze relentless.

"You were saying?" he prompted anxiously, as soon as we were alone again.

"I'll tell you about it in the car" I said, picking up my fork slowly. He watched the movement with fascination. "If..."

"There are conditions?" he demanded in fake outrage.

"You know I have a...few questions"

"Of course"

"Why are you in Port Angeles?" I asked him

"Next" he said hastily.

"But that's an easy one?"

"Exactly-next question"

I sighed and placed my fork carefully on the rim of my plate. He watched this too, in a peculiar spellbound manner.

"Okay..." I began. Edward could be quite the spoilt sport. "Let's say someone could read minds...with just a few exceptions, you know... know what people are thinking..."

He looked thoughtful and then smiled.

"Really just one and a half exceptions" he corrected. "Hypothetically"

I almost smiled, and then fought to retain my serious look.

"One and a half?" I reiterated.

"this person... can't hear one person" he smiled before looking pointedly at me"...and only certain things from another"

All his quiet ridiculous smiling when I hadn't said anything and low chuckles about nothing. He could hear some of my thoughts... this made me extremely uncomfortable. I looked up at him sheepishly, wondering if he had 'heard' some of my more...wild thoughts...regarding him. That could explain the cockiness.

"Okay, well then how would that work?" I continued. "What are the limitations and _how _would that someone-let's call him Joe-know exactly where to find someone at the right time. How would he know she was in trouble?"

"Hypothetically?"

I smiled. "Sure"

"Well... if that someone...Joe" he smiled at that and it pleased me that he was playing along. "If Joe hadn't been paying attention, the timing needn't be quite so exact"

He shook his head disbelieving and added, "Only _you _could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know"

I frowned. "We were speaking of a hypothetical case"

"Yes we were" he smiled now "Shall we call you Jane?"

I ignored his quip and leaned forward seriously. "How did you know?"

"You can trust me, you know" I whispered, reaching for his hand. He pulled it away and I dropped mine disappointed.

"I don't know if I have a choice" he said softly.

I reached out again and he moved his hand a fraction away, but I ignored the gesture and put my hand over his. His hand was cold and smooth. He looked down at our starkly contrasting hands and looked at me concernedly.

"Danishka..." he whispered. "What is it with _you _and danger? If there is danger in a ten mile radius it will invariably find its way to you. It's like you are a danger magnet!"

"And you put yourself in that category?" I guessed.

"Unequivocally"

I brushed my thumb over his hand soothingly, trying to show him there was nothing wrong with sitting here with me... with opening up to me.

"Thank you" I said, moving back to my original seating position. "That's twice now"

"Let's not try for three, okay?"

I let my fingers remain on his cool hand. It was comforting, the coolness and smoothness of his skin. He pulled his hand out from under mine and I grimaced.

"I followed you to Port Angeles" he confessed swiftly. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before and it's much more troublesome than I would believe. But that's probably because it's _you._ Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without catastrophes".

"Did you ever think my number was up the first time with the van?"

"That wasn't the first time" he whispered, staring at the maroon table cloth. "Isabella's first day at Forks... that was the first time"

"Huh?" he wasn't making sense again. He looked up and the relentlessness of his gaze sent a searing thrill through me. Like a window had been blown open by an unforgiving gust of ice cold wind, blowing out a single candle.

"When Isabella" he said hesitantly but his eyes begged for me to understand. "When the Swan Girl arrived, that day in biology. When she sat in front of you... Danishka, I had turned into a _monster"_

"No" I said, shaking my head.

"I wanted the girl's blood like no others" he continued, holding me with his determination. "I wanted her so badly, her blood... she was to die then. I would have killed every single person in that laboratory. I would have..."

"No" I said again, interrupting him rudely and refusing to believe his words although they could only be true.

"I know you felt something similar so you _can _understand" he went on, his face pained. "But imagine what you felt times a hundred, better yet a thousand"

"You just needed to get used to her"

"No, it's not that simple Danishka."

"You won't let..."I felt slightly hysterical, it was like our conversation was going to lead to an end that I wasn't ready for.

"Eat and I'll talk" he commanded and I was oddly grateful for the break from my panic.

"It was harder than it should be-keeping track of you" he said, he wasn't looking at me anymore. "Usually once I hear someone's thoughts, I can find them easily"

He watched me closely, looking for something on my face and I just stared back at him. He motioned for me to eat more and I obliged. I was hungry, that he had been right about.

"I was keeping tabs through Jessica and Angela..." he said, still watching me... for a reaction I guessed.

"And Bella?" I asked.

"I can't hear her thoughts completely" he said quickly, chuckling lightly and shaking his head. "Let me continue... eats some more, Danishka"

I nodded and loaded my fork with food.

"I wasn't keeping tabs on Jessica carefully, like I said-only you could find trouble in Port Angeles-and I didn't notice when you wandered off"

"And then when I realized you weren't with her anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in her head. I could tell that you hadn't gone in, and that you had gone south... and I knew you would have to turn around soon. So I was just waiting for you, randomly searching through people's minds if anyone had seen you. I had no reason to be worried but I was strangely anxious..." he paused, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

"I started to drive in circles, still listening. The sun was setting and I was about to get out and follow you on foot and then..."

He stopped and that fury from the car washed over his features. His eyes lost focus and he frowned; back to the gloriously enraged archangel.

"Then what?" I whispered, breaking his angry trance.

"I heard what they were thinking" he hissed. "I saw your face in _his _mind"

He covered his face for what seemed an eternity and I was vaguely aware that I was holding my fork suspended in air. He would have _definitely _done something terrible to Lonny and his idiot friends. Something ten times worse than what Lonny had planned for me...

"It was very... hard-you can't imagine how hard-for me to simply take you away, and leave them... alive" he whispered. "I could have let you go with your friends, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them"

The reality of what had happened to me sunk in for the first time and all I could think was that he had _saved _me. I had wanted Lonny burned and scorched beyond recognition-and what better way for that to happen than by an archangel? What better way for him to _pay _than for him to be poured with the fuel derived from the purest rage and set ablaze by the inferno of Edward's wrath?

Homicidal rage never looked more _seductive._

"Are you ready to go home?"

"I am ready to leave" I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to be away from him because I feared that his confessions where the beginning of the end.

"How are we doing" I had jumped at the voice of our waitress. She was talking to Edward of course, but I had been withdrawn from the outside world.

"We are ready for the check" he said, his eyes on my face, the concern had never been more apparent.

The waitress was dazzled, and I had to give it to Edward-he really wasn't aware.

"Here you go" she stuttered.

He slid the fifty dollar note in the folder and smiled at her. Okay, this time I think that was intentional, she lost focus and began shifting and fidgeting

"No change" he murmured.

I followed him out, watching the way he moved in fascination. He was so graceful and sure. He opened the door and held it. I smiled shyly exiting and allowed him to open the car door this time.

He turned the heater on and I couldn't help but smile at this too. Sometimes I thought he really thought I needed taking care of. Like I was some small babe in a dark wood.

"Now, it's your turn" he said, cutting in to the thick silence. We were driving out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

"Can I just ask one more?"

He hesitated. "One"

"Well...you said you knew that I hadn't gone into the bookstore by the boutique, and that I had gone south instead. How had you known that?"

He kept quiet, his lips forming a thin line and glared out the windscreen.

"I thought we were past all evasiveness?"I asked.

"Fine, then" he snapped. "I followed your scent"

Of course. If everyone else had a scent, there was nothing stopping me from having one too. I wonder what I smell like to him...

"You know about _that_" he added wryly.

"And you didn't answer my other questions..." I wasn't about to dive headlong into my facts.

"Which one?" he was getting impatient.

"How does it work-the mind reading? Can you read anybody's mind anywhere? Can the rest of your family...?"

"That's more than one"

Did it matter? I hope he could hear that thought.

"No, it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's... voice is, the further away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." He frowned a little "it's just a hum-a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one, and then what they are thinking is clear. Most of the time I tune it all out-it can be very distracting. And it's easier to seem _normal_, when I'm not answering someone's thoughts but their words."

"And you can't hear my thoughts?"

"I can't necessarily 'hear' your thoughts; I just get the tone and images. And only for a short period of time, before your mind somewhat 'blocks' my intrusion"

"Hmm, you said one and a half?"

"You being the half; because of the limited time I can sort of figure out what's on your mind"

"And the one?" I was extremely curious about this being. There was obviously something genetically wrong with my make up, but this person.

"Your Bella, I can't hear anything from her mind" he said thoughtfully.

Bella who was constantly thinking of him, how ironic-he couldn't even hear her mind.

"Why do you think that is?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe Bella's mind is on a different frequency. Like I only pick up am and she is on the fm frequency" he turned to look at me, smiling ruefully. "And you must be exactly in-between"

"Doesn't that make Bella and I both freaks?" this bothered me because Bella _seemed _completely normal, minus the berry scented smoothie blood. "I mean, I'm not entirely surprised about me..."

"I hear voices inside my head and you are worried that _you're _the freak?" he laughed unreservedly.

"Don't fret about it" he added. "It's just a theory, but anyway it brings us back to you"

Ah, right. I looked out the window and watched the trees zooming by. If I didn't know any better I would say they were flying...

No, we were flying. Edward was driving way over the speed limit and not really paying attention to the road.

"I thought we were past all evasiveness" he quoted me.

"Hey!" I gasped, seeing the speedometer clearly.

"What?" he asked anxiously, tearing his eyes from the road to scan my face.

"Slow down and _pay attention to the road!_"

"What's wrong?" what the hell did he mean what's wrong! We were flying over a wet sleek road.

"You are going a hundred miles an hour!"

"Relax, Danishka" he says, rolling his eyes.

"Are you trying to kill us?" there is nothing to 'relax' about.

"We are not going to crash"

"Why are you in such a rush?" did he want things to end so quickly.

"I always drive like this"

He looks at me and grins at the fear that is no doubt, written all over my face.

"Keep your eyes on the road!"

"I've never been in an accident, Danishka. I've never even gotten a ticket" he says, grinning smugly. He taps the side of his head and adds "built in radar"

"Very funny, but if we did get into an accident that turned the car into a Volvo pretzel... you could probably walk away unscathed"

"Probably" he laughed dryly. "But you can't"

"No, I don't think I can."

He slowed down a bit, maybe by two miles. "Happy?"

"Is this slow?"

"Enough commentary about my driving" he sighed. "I'm still waiting for your latest theory"

"Right... that would only be fair" I said sardonically. Had he been fair with me when he said that he would tell me about the accident? It took him two months and now I was handing him my views on a silver platter.

"Well, you already knew that I was suspicious"

"Yes, you didn't really hide that part" he said, smiling.

"I just didn't know exactly what was going on" whenever one theory came up, it was quickly dispelled by another. "But when I went to the beach on Saturday... I was given a vital clue."

"What, some gossip of the town folk" he chuckled lightly.

"Something like that, I made a new friend. Jacob Black-he told me some of his tribe's legends..." and my grandmother always told me to be wary about legends and folklore.

He stiffened and his humour escaped his face completely.

"Anyway, his dad is an elder of the Quileute tribe?"

"Yes, I know _all _about the Quileute tribe" he said coolly.

"Well, we went for a walk and he was telling me about the legends and he told me one about his ancestors"

I watched his face but he kept his emotions hidden

"Go on"

"About cold ones" I whispered. How it had all made sense to me, how it had explained so much.

I knew I should have been afraid at my discovery but not of him. Never of Edward, but of myself.

He was silent, watching the road with unseeing eyes and his mouth set in a determined line. My own heart was thrumming in my chest, my emotions a tornado and my mind... well, it wasn't working right anyway.

"He didn't believe it though, he just thought it was a silly superstition" I told him. He didn't need to worry about his secret being revealed.

"It was my fault" I added. I was suddenly scared for Jacob. Edward had told me once his secret was a _dangerous _one. "I kind of made him tell me"

"Why?" his voice came out too calm although I could feel the tension rolling off of him.

"Mike was trying to provoke me" I hesitated, not wanting to go into detail on how desperate I had been about him at La Push " and an older boy said something about how your family don't come to the reservation, only it sounded like some kind of restraining order. So I tricked Jacob"

"Tricked him how"

I took a deep breath in. I might never breathe after I admitted how lowly I had gotten to uncover his secret. "I...well, he was sort of interested in me. I suppose, more Bella than me but he didn't mind _talking _so... I tried flirting it out of him?"

He laughed. His already honey voice came out in the most alluring sound I had ever heard. It was like music. It actually took me a moment to be offended at the realisation that it was _I _he was laughing at.

"And you accuse me of dazzling people-poor Jacob Black"

I shrugged, staring out the window again and waiting for him to overcome the joke.

"And what did you do then" he asked seriously.

"I did some research on the internet..." everything I had done, all the detective work was for nothing. "And I decided it didn't matter"

"It _doesn't matter_" he hissed. I was taken aback by his anger.

"No, it doesn't matter to me what you are" I whispered to him. "It doesn't matter"

"You don't care if I'm a _monster_?" his voice was raised, in utter disbelief. "That I'm not _human_"

"I'm a monster too" I said softly. Didn't he understand? I had wanted Bella's blood too. I had heard my sister's heart beat and salivated.

"No!" his anger surprised me and I shrunk away from it. "You have a chance Danishka, we can figure it out"

"No..." I couldn't contain my sorrow "if I'm not like you... I'm not like _anyone..."_

"You are not a monster" he said without any doubt, his voice strong and full of conviction.

"then what am I" I didn't expect him to hold the answer. I didn't expect anyone to be able to tell me.

"You are you, and that's all that matters." He said, his voice filled with tenderness. "That is all _you need_"

I went quiet, fighting to maintain my breathing and not let the tears fall. He was quiet too, glancing only once at me in the dark of the car. He could see that I was distraught.

"Is there anything you have questions about...?" he whispered. "about my nature?"

"Well, there are a few things" I said, my voice croaking. "Your age?"

"Seventeen" he said quickly, without thinking.

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

"A while"

Legends hold the history of a tribe. The Cullen's had been here before. Seventy years ago and they were back. And yet Edward sat here in the glory of an immortal beauty.

"But you come out during the day?"

"That's a myth too" he smiled at my curiosity.

"Do you sleep in a coffin?"

He out-and-out laughed. "Myth too"

He smiled, looking at me warmly "well, I don't sleep"

"Ever?" I couldn't hide the disbelief in my voice

"Never ever..."

"Don't you want to know what I eat?" he asked, his voice back to it's gravely tone.

"I think I have an idea"

"yes, I think you do..." he looked at me, his gaze intense. "Unlike you, that is _all _I eat...or rather drink"

"oh"

"So you see, we are _not _the same" he said sincerely. "the Quileute have a long memory"

I nodded in agreement. Jacob's account of things-whether he believed it or not-seemed well on target.

"but don't be complacent Danishka" he said strongly. "they're right to keep their distance from us. We are _dangerous_"

"I don't understand?"

"We try. We are usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Like me, for instance, allowing myself to be alone with you"

"This is a mistake?" I knew it would come. His regret, his realization that he didn't have to be here trying to convince me what the difference between a monster and a confused girl was.

"A very dangerous one"

It was all over. This car ride home was all that was left. I couldn't convince him otherwise, I couldn't make him understand he had to stay and that I needed him.

"So you hunt animal?" I asked my voice breaking and my unshed tears stinging my eyes.

"I don't _want _to be a monster" he said softly.

"But animals aren't enough?"

"It's like a human living on tofu, Danishka" he said. "We call ourselves vegetarians, our own inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time"

"Sometimes it's more difficult than others" he supplemented.

"Is it more difficult now?"

"No... And yes" he said. "No, it isn't like with Isabella but your scent has still has an elevated level of effect on me... "

"Just not like Bella?" I tried not to sound petulant but I was oddly envious that she had an effect on him. A stronger one.

"Different... when I haven't abundantly fed, don't doubt that I am not dangerous to you. The attentiveness I have for you will _always _make me a threat to you"

I shivered the potency of his words and the _way _his eyes had raked over me in that second. Did I want to hold his attention when he wasn't in control?

"But you are not hungry now?" I asked.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, I noticed that men are usually crabby when they are hungry-and I noticed how when your eyes are light, you are in a good mood. And when they are dark, you _ignore _me"

He chuckled lightly, no doubt enjoying my analogy. "You are so _observant!_"

"You were hunting this weekend, with Emmett, weren't you?" I asked, not able to stop my curiosity. But, we were leaving no holds.

"Yes, I didn't want to leave. But it's a bit easier when I'm not thirsty"

"Why didn't you want to leave?"

"It makes me _anxious_ to be away from you" he said, his topaz eyes brimming with more words to the revelation. "I wasn't kidding when I said don't fall into the ocean or get run over. I was distracted the whole weekend, worrying about you. I'm surprised you made it through the whole weekend unscathed"

"Well not totally" he said, looking at my hands that rested on my lap.

"I fell" I said shyly. I always fall, he really shouldn't worry about that or else he would have the vampire equivalent of a heart attack.

"I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse. That possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days; I irritated Emmett the entire time"

"Three days? Didn't you just get back?"

'No, we got back on Sunday"

"Then why weren't any of you in school?" I had spent the whole Friday, unnecessarily glum when he could have just come to school.

"Well, the thing about the sun is we can't go out in the sun, everyone will see that we are different"

"Different how?"

"I'll show you sometime"

I let it slide. "But you could have called me, Edward"

"But I knew you were safe"

"But I didn't know where you were. I-" the realization that I was in deeper than I thought and if he did leave... I couldn't cross that line, if some things were not said they would not bear fruit.

"What?"

Ah, holding back would be moving backwards. Telling the truth could leave me in a devastating end. Devastating end it is.

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you, it makes me anxious too"

He was quiet then, a frown on his face and he had resumed the stance of pretending to watch the road while driving. I should have kept that bit of information to my heart.

"Ah, this is wrong" he groaned.

I was quiet, I had anticipated this.

"It's a wholly other thing for me to be miserable Danishka, but not you. I don't want to hear you say that"

Even though I had seen it as a more eighty percent chance that after all was said tonight, Edward would be making a swift exit from my life... the reality of it hurt so much.

"It's wrong, it's not safe..."he muttered to himself.

"No, it's too late" I said, but my voice had no pledge or weight. I had a better chance of agreeing.

"Never say that!" he hissed.

All my quiet musing over him, talking with him and allowing my subconscious to dream of him saving me from the red eyed dark man... that had come to this result. I was sitting in his car and my heart felt like it would tear in two.

Why?

"Are you crying?" he asked incredulously

I hadn't realised the tears in one of my eyes had broken free. I quickly wiped them of, so violently that when my palm left my cheek it was smarting. I hated that eye; how dare it show exactly _how _weak I was. That was why Edward didn't feel the need to form a friendship with me...

"I'm sorry" he said stiffly.

He sighed and shook his head. He was probably disappointed.

"Tell me something?" he asked

"Yes?" I could tell him anything at this point.

"What had you done to the guy...tonight" his voice had dripped venom on the word 'guy'.

"I kicked him in his privates" I whispered, ashamed somehow for doing it. "My sister showed me how to...incapacitate an attacker when I was younger. That's what I was going for"

"Oh, right". He said humourlessly. "You were going to _fight._ Didn't you think about running?"

"I fall down a lot when I run... my eyesight is out of whack when I'm panicked and then my feet..."

"What about screaming for help?"

"Hmm, I was getting to that part after the incapacitating"

He shook his head, frowning. "You were right; I am fighting fate trying to keep you alive"

We were almost at my house. I liked that he knew where I lived. It made me think of _where _he lived. It was almost over, my fairy tale night minus the almost-brutal attack.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes-I have a paper due" he winked at me. "I'll save you a seat at lunch"

We stopped in front of my house. Cindy was back, the Mercedes was parked and the kitchen lights were on.

"Do you promise to be there?" I asked, throwing all pride out the window.

"I promise" he smiled.

Okay, it wasn't over yet. He did say something about helping me figure out what was up with me. I could drag that out forever...

"you can keep it" he said, watching me remove his jacket.

"Uh, I don't want to have to explain to Cindy..."

"Oh, right" he sounded disappointed.

'Oh and Danishka?"

I had already moved for the door handle, so the surprise I felt when I turned around to see Edwards face inches from mine...

"Don't go into the woods alone" he whispered, his sweet cool breath fanning my face. "I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there"

"Whatever you say" I moved out of the car. "Tomorrow then"

He stared at me, looking for something and I remembered how he said he couldn't hear my mind after a prolonged period.

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

He chuckled, and sighed "yes, Danishka... what's one more _little_ thing?"

"Well...the first day I met you, do you remember?"

"Is this the question?" he grinned, but I could see the patience in his eyes.

"No..."I sighed. "When I left gym, I had a headache. Were you trying to get in to my mind?"

"Yes, I was baffled as to why your thoughts kept getting hazy... I realised later on that my prodding gave you a headache so I desisted."

"Oh..." I looked at him blankly, having run out of things to say and stood holding the passenger door wide open.

"I'll see you tomorrow then" he said, but neither of us made a move.

After seconds of staring he looked to the house. "You really should go, your sister knows your outside and is contemplating coming to get you. You still don't want her to know you were out with me?"

"Uh, yeah, goodnight then"

"Sweet dreams" he whispered, his voice taking a longing tone and his eyes returning to their brooding depth. I couldn't think properly anymore.

"Bye" I closed the door and stumbled the moment I went for the pathway. I turned around to see him chuckling in the car. He drove off the moment my hand touched the doorknob.

"So... you were out late?" Cindy said from the lounge, her voice sounded strained like she had a cold. She was watching Greys Anatomy and had a box of tissues next to her.

"Yeah..."

"Found any dresses you like?"

"Nope, I told you I wasn't going to the formal" I couldn't even sound annoyed at her persistent denial.

"Well, with the way you are glowing tonight... I'd say you'd look damn good in a ball gown"

**AUTHORS NOTE: REMEMBER TO REVIEW. Up to this point I have really made things alternate twilight… have already drafted the new moon version of things because I am such an eager beaver… haven't got the ending clear though. A few added oc baddies**


	8. Chapter 8

DANISHKA

**WOULD YOU BE MY FIRST TRUE FRIEND**

I was late. I had over slept and hadn't heard my alarm go off. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry for failing to wake up; this had been one of consistently rare nights that I slept peacefully. It was also one of many recent nights that I had dreamt of Edward...

I was zooming around in my room, trying desperately to find something to wear. I ended up with a sweater my grandmother had knitted for me for Christmas (even though _she _didn't celebrate Christmas... she still gave me presents) and a pair of blue skinny jeans. I hated skinny jeans and I only owned the particular pair because Cindy liked to buy me clothes whenever she went shopping-alone. I was never there to choose and my wardrobe had a steadily increasing section of things she had bought that would only be worn in emergencies.

Cindy was plopped on my bed, watching me in fascination as I tried to clean my room, put the jeans on and brush my teeth...simultaneously. she smiled when she saw it was her jeans I was wearing.

"Is this how you _always _are in the morning?"

I gurgled something that meant "no"

She chortled and picked the clothes I had flung on the bed and started folding them.

"Maybe you shouldn't have been out so late?"

Really, I didn't have time to witness her trying to be mother. I rushed out of my room and went to rinse my mouth. When I was done, I remembered to glance in the mirror and realized my hair looked like a really shaggy lion's mane. If said lion had a black mane, with little stray bits of white fluff from a blanket in it...

I was late, and that couldn't be helped. The skinny jeans would have to redeem the hair! When I got downstairs, Cindy was already there, a plate with buttered toast waiting in her hand. I grabbed the toast and my bag.

"well, enjoy your day" she sang, waltzing to the music on the radio and cleaning up the kitchen.

"Nutter" I mumbled as I skipped out of the house to the shed. Cindy had reclaimed her car and was pressuring me into getting a job and buying my own. I was yet to spare brain time on that subject... I hobbled down, trying to eat my toast and secure my backpack on to my back...

"Do you need a ride to school today?"

I slipped on the damp grass five feet away from the shed and was about to fall backwards when Edward appeared-literally out of thin air-and caught me.

"I thought we agreed no more fatal accidents" he said, smirking and arranging me easily so I was standing up right again.

My piece of toast was still in my mouth throughout all of this. I didn't know if that was worse than me either spitting it out or choking on it.

"it doesn't help if you just...appear" I said, my voice coming out in a gust when I removed the offensive cooked bread. "I mean, you have to give me _warning _that you are here! Make a sound, move around..._something!_"

He laughed so freely, tilting his head back and shaking his head. I had never seen him this happy. It made me happy too.

"well, you were the one who came skipping out of the house whistling and chewing a whole piece of toast without holding it...?" he eyed the remainder of the toast I was holding inconspicuously in my hand.

I shrugged, popping it back in my mouth to get rid of it and stared at his chest. If I had thought he was beautiful in his brooding, he was mind-bogglingly attractive in his mirth.

"Will you come to school with me...? I really don't feel comfortable with you riding your bike to school" he said. "You can barely manage your feet... let alone two wheels"

I snapped my head up at him, forgetting my little chant to not look at his face and glared at him.

"I rode just fine last week!" I hissed. "and you know, I managed not to ride into a tree"

He laughed quietly at my irritation and pulled the hem of my jumper's sleeve. He stopped then, and looked me over, his eyebrow raised and his crooked grin appearing slowly on his face.

"Interesting design...?" he said, still analyzing my jumper.

"My grandmother doesn't celebrate Christmas... or fully understand what it is about" I muttered. There were bunnies knitted onto my jumper... with numerous mistletoe flowers around them. It was loud and the purple, yellow, red _and green_ colours clashed. I loved it to death, none the less.

"would you like to come to school with me today?" he asked seriously although a smile still played on his pale purplish lips.

I nodded; all control over my own mind lost and followed him to his shiny Volvo. He opened the door for me and before I had even clipped the seatbelt in, he was starting the engine.

I noticed the tan jacket he had given me to wear at the restaurant. It was folded neatly and hung over the passenger chair I was sitting in. I looked at him questioningly.

"I brought the jacket for you, I didn't want you to get sick or something" he said, the smile never leaving his captivating face.

"I'm not that delicate you know" it irked me to no end that he thought of me as this incapable dithering little girl. Bella. I put the coat on anyway, because Edward was extremely relentless when it came to having his way. I wasn't in the mood for a passionate debate over his coat-I was also eager to return to the enthralling freesia fragrance...

I watched the trees and the houses wiz by. He wasn't driving as fast as last night but fast enough that we were going to be early. I had timed my living in accordance with the extra needed time to get to school riding my bike but now that I was going in Edwards car-I wasn't going to be late at all. If only he had _called _to let me know he would come; I wouldn't have had to dress like a rainbow!

"What, no twenty one questions?" he asked lightly.

"hmm?" I turned to look at him. He kept his eyes on the road today. "well, you don't seem to like what goes on in my head"

"no, I don't like your reactions"

"do I react badly?" I whispered. I had thought I had put him at ease. Unless he was expecting me to run away in fear...

"no. That's the problem. You take everything so coolly, it's unnatural" he sighed "it makes me wonder what you are _really _thinking"

"I always tell you what I'm thinking"

"No, you edit what you are thinking" he smiled, shaking his head at some recent memory.

Well, it would be very, _very _embarrassing on my part if I just said things as soon as they popped into my head. For instance, instead of saying :_hello, Edward. Yes, I think I will go to school in your car today. _I said something like: _hello Edward. My, your chest is so well defined under that grey sweater you are wearing. I'm torn between getting lost in your pulsing eyes or letting my own eyes have their fill of your broad shoulders. I want nothing more than to get into your car and have fifteen minutes of smelling your sensual freesia scent before school starts..._

Yeah, I think I'll edit my thoughts.

"like now" he said, cutting into my musing. " why are you blushing?"

"black people don't blush" I said instantly, looking at him confused.

"yes, they do... human eyes just can't see it and their dim senses can't feel it"

"you can _see _me _blush?" _I believed him of course, it was just fascinating. There were so many things about him that were _fascinating _and now, I could ask him.

"yes, your skin isn't just brown to me... it has depth and a translucency that you don't realise. Your varying cocoa brown colour goes incredibly rich when you blush. I didn't notice it before but being near you... I felt the heat and paid more attention"

"oh" I blushed again and he laughed.

"you are not going to tell me, are you?"

"no".

"it's very frustrating..."he protested.

"it isn't a lot that I edit, Edward"

"it's enough to drive me insane"

Drama king. We were driving into the school parking lot and he was still sulking at not being able to hear and know my every thought.

"Where's the rest of your family?"I asked him, pulling him out of his darkening mood.

"They took Rosalie's car" he said, humour returning in his voice. He parked the car and glanced out of my window. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

Parked next to us was a red sports car. A very recent model with convertible black top and shiny rims on all four wheels. It stood out obscenely in Forks High's modest parking lot.

"Um, wow. If she has that...why does she ride with you?" I asked. He was looking at my face in his captivated way; no doubt wishing he knew my _exact _thoughts.

"Like I said, we try to blend in"

"Well, trust me when I say you are _not _succeeding" I laughed at that, how absurd it was that they would ever blend in with their glorious features and undeniable attractiveness. Incomprehensible.

He eyed me carefully, a small smile tugging at his lips. I smiled at him and he returned my smile more enthusiastically. It was so unprepared and authentic, his lips moving fluidly and his eyes glimmering with an indescribable joy.

He hadn't meant to do it, like the many other times but there I was; a casualty of his supernatural beauty. My heart sped up and my breath was trapped in my lungs. I had stopped moving and had adopted to just stare at his joyful face, his eyes solely on me and his lips still curved in that solar flare of a smile. Did I just lose my sight?

"Danishka...?" he whispered anxiously, concern drenched in his voice. "Danishka!"

"Huh?"

"What just happened, are you okay?"He peered down at me, his brows furrowed. He stood so still, impossibly still like a statue.

"No, it's...nothing" I said lamely. I looked over his shoulder and caught Jessica Stanley's enthusiastic greeting. She was jumping up and down, waving her arms above her head.

"Hmmm, Jessica is going to interrogate you later on today" Edward said thoughtfully. I looked up at his face, his eyes were closed and he had an amused expression.

"Interrogate me about what?"

"Well, you are going to have to let me know the contents of that particular conversation" he said, winking at me slyly.

I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the peach-brown linoleum spread across my path.

"Well, what does she want to know?" I asked, not bothering to hide my on coming brooding at the prospect.

"She's coming over right now..."

I spun around and sure enough Jessica was walking briskly through the throng of students, the moment our eyes met she grinned like a Cheshire cat. The whole time I had been walking into school with Edward, I had kept my gaze low-trying desperately not to make eye contact with the interested gazes.

"Danishka!" Jessica sighed when she reached us. I smiled at her and looked at Edward from the corner of my eye. He was grinning.

"Hi" I said to her, trying not to roll my eyes at the not so subtle way she was staring at Edward.

"Hello Jessica" Edward said politely. Jessica coughed and turned bright red and then trained her eyes on me.

"I brought your Jacket...?" Jessica said, pushing the bundled fabric from her arms into my own.

"Thanks"

"Uh... I will see you in Trig then?" she asked her face full of significance. I nodded weakly at her.

"E-e-dward" she stammered, failing to look at his face. "I'll see you...uh, okay. When I see you which is in...Uh, P.E"

He smiled at her and appeared slightly startled by her reaction.

"Just tell me what she is going to ask?" I groaned.

"She wants to know if we are dating and for how long. Amongst other things..." he said monotonously, all the previous humour gone.

"Uh, right... so typical of Jessica." I moaned. She was going to make this an episode of Gossip Girl.

What was I going to say to her? I didn't even know what the exact terminology was for what Edward and I were. We were not dating, even though he had bought me dinner. Or was I wrong? I wasn't sure how these things worked, never having had a boyfriend or a first kiss.

"What are you going to tell her?" Edward asked.

"Uh, I thought you couldn't read my mind after like five minutes of being around me?" I asked, glaring at him suspiciously. He smiled, shaking his head and looking at me disbelievingly.

"Yes, but I can read _hers_" he said, the smile still on his pale face. "She'll be waiting to ambush you in class"

Argh! I groaned and realized that wearing Edwards jacket was an entire other meaning to everyone who saw us walking together. Walking extremely slow because I was a klutz but the meaning to the general public would be strolling leisurely and lovey-dovey. I shrugged my shoulders, angry at the fact that I was forced to part with Edward's addictive sent due to a nosy Jessica Stanley. He watched me curiously, his hands hovering oddly near me. I handed him my own jacket to hold as I took his off angrily.

"Why are you taking of my jacket?" he blurted. His eyes were wide and guarded.

"I have my own now and you are walking around in that thin sweater" I said, my eyes raking over his sculptured chest and back up to his chiselled features. He didn't look cold.

"I'm not cold" he said, but took the jacket carefully from me, his fingers never brushing over mine. He made to put my own jacket on me and I manoeuvred away from him.

"What are you doing?" he asked again, frustrated, holding the jacket in front of him. I took it and put it on and sighed. Edward's old fashioned-ness was difficult to understand sometimes. Why put a jacket on me? I had hands...

He sighed, shaking his head the way he did when he found something amusing and looked at me.

"So what exactly are you going to tell Jessica?" he pressed.

"I don't know a little help? What does she want to know?"

"Hmm, that wouldn't be fair, don't you think" he winked at me.

"No, what isn't fair is you not sharing what you know"

We stopped at the front of my English class. Edward looked at the door thoughtfully, sighing and then returning his gaze to me.

"She wants to know if we are secretly dating and how you feel about me" he said monotonously.

"Wow, okay... what do you think I should say?" I asked, playing dumb and throwing the ball into his court.

"Hmmm" he murmured, watching me carefully. His eyes boring into mine and I thought he knew how I had wittingly made it so he gave away more than I did about our... continued interactions.

He reached his arms carefully down, his gaze still on my face and tugged the hem of my jacket down. I hadn't put it on properly and it was half way rolled up over my jersey. He straightened it and then smoothed the arms out and did this all without making any actual physical contact. So carefully and _tenderly_. The imagined contact and fictional feel of his actual touch made my breath hitch and my heart took a trembling rhythm.

"It would be easier..." he said softly, brushing his fingers carefully over my hair and moving a few strands back into my clip carefully. "If you did say we were dating, I suppose"

"Yes, but are we?" I blabbed and the heat that went over my skin after the words left my mouth could be compared to the heat from Mercury. His idiot stunning presence...

"I..." he looked me in the eye, his gaze unwavering and not because of the fervour that his eyes always seemed to hold but the utter helplessness that had come into them.

"I mean, too them?" I covered, my breath escaping my lungs and my heart refused to stabilize. "To Jessica... we went for dinner and then I'm wearing your jacket so..."

"Like I said, it would be easier" he murmured, his eyes torn and a heart wrenching uncertainty fleeting across his face. "Tell them what you think is more believable, I'll go along with it...it's easier"

"You said that already" I mumbled. "So, we have become good friends?"

"Good friends?" he asked. I watched as he comprehended the two words. "Right, of course"

"See that was easy" I laughed nervously. A thick tension had formed between us and it felt like I was suffocating. I wondered if vampires could suffocate.

"Yes, but I _will _be listening for the second part of her conversation" he mused, a sly grin on his face.

"Second...?" I asked and then remembered the part about how I felt. I blinked at him, unbelieving at the enjoyment spreading over his absurdly beautiful features.

A tiny almost bashful smile emerged on his face and then he turned around swiftly, his retreating figure moving fast through the people-who all seemed to turn their heads to stare from him to me.

I sighed, preparing for the onslaught that came with Hamlet.

EDWARD

She stood at the entrance of her English class, positively befuddled at my daring statement. I wanted to witness her nervousness first hand and not have to wait for it in Jessica's mind.

It had not been what I thought, I had expected her to scoff or shoot it down but there she was; shocked at the realization that she would have to say her thoughts out loud about me and I would know.

I walked swiftly through the human children, paying little attention to their speculative thoughts that consisted of Danishka's bright glowing face and my own carefree one.

I couldn't concentrate. It was hard enough to manage my speed as I moved over the soggy ground to my next class. I had to catch myself before I moved at an unacceptable velocity in my haste to run through time and find myself back to her.

I saw my face through nameless minds-a smiling pale blithe unnaturally beautiful boy shaking his head in glee-and treasured the happiness I was exuding.

When I entered the square classroom, I put the jacket on and revelled in her scent. I looked quite the character to my fellow classmates as I inhaled in tranquil merriness. Her spice swarmed around me, burning my throat ever so tantalizingly and filling me with a warm sweet honey that dripped from my throat to land in a frenzied raucous flurry in my stomach.

Was this what it felt like to have butterflies?

I had always been a novel student, always so ambitious with any task more especially an intellectual one. In my immortality, I knew I was exceptional. Hearing thoughts was my tangible proof to this fact and it had done little for my... confidence? I always had an answer ready, seeing as how I could hear the question before it was uttered and know the answer before it was even thought!

Today though, my teachers would have the pleasure of catching me unawares... if they bothered to ask me anything. They had stopped some time ago as I had petulantly shown that I was of a far superior mind than all of them. But if today, they dared to ask me _anything_, they would have that satisfaction of me being answerless.

My mind was everywhere, sifting through far thoughts that formed her name, saw her face or spoke to her. My body was in the classroom but my essence was anywhere but!

I watched in the Angela Weber's mind as Danishka took out her books in a whirl of commotion; it appears she had forgotten her English notebook.

I heard Angela inquire if everything was okay and saw through Angela's concerned eyes as Danishka shook her head disbelieving and whispered that she had forgotten her book. It appears she was just as distracted as I was, a small smile tugging on her cherry wood lips.

I grinned so widely that Rob Sawyer, who sat on the desk to my right, flinched so visibly and sank deeper in his chair and shifted away from me.

_Ugh. Creepy_

It seems Danishka hadn't entirely tamed the fearsome monster in me.

I monitored Jessica's mind, listening to her refine the question she was going to ask Danishka, ten times more eager and anxious as the human girl who wanted fresh gossip.

Should I even be eager to hear what Danishka felt for me? I was possibly over eager and too confident in my plight. Things had gone smoothly thus far, she had not run away screaming and trusted me... so why complicate things? It seemed simpler before but now... as I let doubt wheedle into my frozen heart, I realized that I had to keep it light, as always.

Of course I was incapable of listening to every thought about her, my curiosity was beyond help thus far but I didn't do it with my previous joy.

It was time for Danishka's class with Jessica. I made my way to English in a dazed way, my mind focused on Jessica's mind as she tapped her foot awaiting Danishka's arrival. As I entered the classroom and took my seat, I became utterly still. My every nerve attuned to the conversation that was waiting to happen.

Danishka entered the classroom finally. She had her guarded frown in place; her lips pursed and scrunched to the side giving her the appearance of child caught doing something they knew they shouldn't.

She spotted Jessica, who in turn mentally noted the missing male tan leather jacket from Danishka's attire but outwardly smiled shrewdly.

_He took the jacket back? Maybe I read wrong, I mean... she looks glum. It would be a disappointment if nothing happened except that he is still available!_

How had she come to the conclusion that Danishka looked glum? It was clear her frown was because she was _reluctant _to have their impending discussion! She was worried-she didn't know what to say and I knew she didn't really like lying-she knew I would be listening.

"_Tell me everything" _Jessica demanded, not really caring for the added time Danishka took to find her stationary. Danishka removed her jacket, hanging it on the chair slowly. She was moving with deliberation, unwilling.

"_What do you want to know" _Danishka asked, taking her seat slowly, and sighing loudly.

_What happened last night?"_

"_He bought me dinner and drove me home"_

_Ah, she is such a liar, see that's why I don't like her. Always so secretive... there is so much more to the story than that!_

"_How did you get home so fast?"_

I watched Danishka roll her eyes. _"He drives like a maniac. It was terrifying, I thought we were going to fly of the road and collide with the moon!"  
><em> 

She smiled one of her tiny knowing smiled and I laughed out loud, interrupting Mr Mason. I tried to turn the laugh into a cough but no one was fooled. Mr Mason shot me an irritated look but I didn't even bother to listen to the thought behind it. Jessica's mind had my full attention.

_Hmm, sound like she is telling the truth. Why she is making me pull it out of her, I would be bragging by now._

"_Was it like a date-did you tell him to meet you there"_

I watched through Jessica's mind as Danishka lowered her gaze, worry disrupting her exotic features and her lips turning slightly down. Jessica misinterpreted this as bashfulness but I knew better.

I gripped the desk tightly.

"_No, Jess... I was surprised to see him there"_

_Wow, okay. That seems like the truth. What is going on!_

"_But he picked you up for school" _Jessica insisted.

"_Jess, he noticed I didn't have a jacket and that I was cycling to school. Chivalry isn't completely dead...it seems"_

Danishka laughed, startling Jessica and had to cover her mouth to suppress her giggles.

_Argh, she is still so weird._

I knew what the joke was. Danishka's wit always startled me; it was dark at times and almost ironic in most instances. It was a play at me... I was snickering at my own expense, earning more cautious stares from my classmates.

"_So are you going out again?" _Jessica demanded.

"_Uh, well I expect if I need a ride into town or something I could carpool with him... he thinks I'm completely useless. I suppose that counts?"_

_Is she for real? I can't believe it; he is going out of his way to take care of her or something. There must be something on his side, if not hers. How could THAT be? Is she crazy? Wait, is _he _crazy? Crazy and blind too..._

"_Of course it counts" _Jessica answered Danishka's question.

"_Then...yes" _Danishka concluded.

"_Wow, Edward Cullen"_ _whether she likes him or not this is major!_

"_I know" _Danishka sighed.

The tone of her voice encouraged Jessica. _Finally, a more realistic reaction!_

"_Wait!" _Jessica said, remembering her most vital question. _"Has he kissed you?" please say yes and describe every second..._

"_No" _Danishka mumbled, looking down at her hands. _"It's not like that"_

_Damn, I wish... looks like she does too!_

Danishka looked disappointed, her face had fallen slightly and her eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration. She surely wouldn't want me to kiss her. Especially if she knew what she knew... I could have fangs for all she knew.

I shuddered.

"_You coming to the formal with him this Saturday?" Jessica asked. Ha, what drama she would cause with Lauren! She is not going to believe me when I tell her this..._

"_Formal?" _Danishka asked, surprised. _"Oh, the silly dance"_

Jessica's thoughts went into a silent incensed blotchy rage.

"_Yeah, _Danishka..._the _silly _dance" _Jessica seethed.

I watched as Danishka smiled apologetically. _"Oh, uhm...well I doubt it... I really don't like crowds"_

_She didn't mind the crowd at La Push and that Indian kid. _A memory from Jessica's mind of Danishka sitting on an old drifted log at the beach with a Quileute boy fleeted across her now petulant mind. _Maybe she doesn't like white guys and Edward is as white as they come._

Before the jealousy could set root from the image of her smiling and laughing with the young boy, my body was rocked with a rigid panic. I had not considered this factor. In all honesty, I had not truly paid attention to my difference in race with Danishka... my mind was preoccupied with my difference in species! Everything seemed impossibly difficult in that instant, impossibly somnolent to my soul... how I had banished all Rosalie and Jasper's derogatory slur's about Danishka... they had been from the South, in a time were race and slavery had prevailed so unreservedly. It was engrained in them and although they had now changed and seen a different way of viewing the world, the etched morbidity of their past could not be simply scratched away with eternity.

I was a vampire and white.

"_What did you talk about?" did he have to drag every ounce of information out of you to make a full conversation like this!_

"_Uh, stuff... the English essay"_

We spoke little about that!

_Goodness gracious! She would be the best spy ever, she doesn't let slip anything!_

"_How was he-during dinner?" _Jessica asked, exasperated.

"_Uh, nice. He didn't pay attention to this flirty waitress we had?"_

"_Was she pretty?"_ Jessica asked. She seemed to think this bit of information vital.

"_Uh, very... she was in her twenties."_

_She doesn't even seem excited about that! Oh gosh, Edward likes her! She is so blind!_

I realized, watching through Jessica's eyes that Danishka was indeed blind to my chaotic consuming sentiment. She paid little attention to my uncontrolled responses to her and was oblivious to my unreasonable adoration. A sharp pang went through my heart... I wanted her to know and yet the revelation that she actually might not feel the same...

"_That means he likes you" _Jessica confirmed.

"_I guess, it's hard to tell" _Danishka sighed. _"He is so cryptic"_

How could she not see how wretchedly in love with her, I was? Was it not in every subtext of our conversation?

_How do you sit across from a male model and make conversation? _

"_How do you talk to him, I would be so scared?"  
><em> 

"_Why?" _shock flashed across Danishka's face.

"He is so... intimidating!"

"_Well, I do have trouble with coherency when I'm with him" _Danishka smiled. She must be trying to make Jessica feel better. She was unnaturally self possessed when she was with me.

"_Yeah he is so..." _Jessica trailed. _Beautiful, hot and sexy..._

"_Intimidating" _Danishka finished.

"_Yeah!" _Jessica agreed.

Intimidating, that was the word that came to mind when Danishka thought of being alone with me?

"_Well, he _is_ unbelievably gorgeous" _Jessica swooned, her thoughts going wispy as various images of my face popped into her mind. I cringed.

I watched as Danishka's eyes took a fiery depth and her lips narrowed in a stern line. Her eyes flashed as though she resented some injustice, but did poor Jessica say?

"_There is a lot more to him than that"_ Danishka snapped.

_Ooh, now were getting somewhere! "Like what?"_

Danishka gnawed her lip but Jessica didn't notice the sensuality in the movement the way I did. She took it as embarrassment.

"_Well, it's difficult to explain" _Danishka finally said _"it's like the beauty is a non factor with him, he is more unbelievable in fact, behind his face"_

She looked away from Jessica and studied her hands, a frown on her face. The feeling I felt in that moment was comparable to all the times Esme and Carlisle had praised me beyond what I deserved. Similar, but infinitely more intense.

_Sell stupid somewhere else! There is _nothing _better than that face. Hmm, maybe that sexy body, oh gosh!_

"_Is that possible?" _Jessica giggled.

Danishka sighed, and turned her text book open, her expression never relaxing. She pinched her features in what I could only guess to be mock concentration, ignoring Jessica.

"_So do you like him then?" I guess I have to keep simple questions for this simple girl!_

"_Yeah" _she didn't turn around to face Jessica so I couldn't see her eyes, and see any hidden emotions in their depths.

"_I mean, do you really like him?"_

"_Yes, Jess"_

"_How much do you like him" _Jessica demanded.

The English room could have gone up in flames and I wouldn't have noticed. Danishka had stopped pretending to work a sum, her pen floating over the page of her book uncertainly, her mouth fell open. She dropped the pen, faced Jessica and I stopped breathing all together.

Her dark violet eyes were wide, staring at me through Jessica's eyes with impossible hopelessness, her mouth tugging feebly at the corners.

"_Too much I think" _Danishka said, her voice floating through the air like a weightless feather._ "More than he like me maybe?"_

Too much? More than he likes me? How on earth had this girl come to that conclusion? Her words, dripping in a despairing sort of rejection were completely senseless!

The way things got twisted in that bizarre brain of hers, I probably shouldn't rule out the mental institution just yet! I glared at the clock, gritting my teeth. How could mere minutes seem impossibly long to an immortal!

"_So you do want to be with him?" _Jessica whispered. Mr Varner had shot her warning glance and she now had to pretend to be working.

"_What... wait, when I say 'like' Jess" _Danishka's eyes widened in shock _"I mean, he is..."_

Danishka had a faraway look in her eyes, searching for the words to describe what kind of 'like' she felt. I was left with a crushing weight in my chest at the revelation that we had both misunderstood Jessica's question.

She cared for me, that was enough... surely?

_No, Edward...it will never be enough _the monster in me growled.

The minutes were dragging.

"_You mean it's nothing serious, just like friends with benefits?"_

Danishka giggled, the delicious sound fleeted through her lips for a second before her dainty hand covered her mouth and muffled it. She nodded her head.

Jessica's thoughts went into an excited whirl wind of scandal, jealousy, awe and utter respect. I was left sitting in an English class with my jaw hanging loosely in disbelieve.

Friends with benefits?

"_No, Jess... not like that!" _Danishka insisted, her lips turned up in an impish grin. _"We talk and... he kind of anchors me down"_

"_Anchors you down...?" _Jessica gasped. _I bet he knows how to 'anchor' a girl down!_

"_Jessica!" _Danishka scolded _"he isn't like that!"_

I was not like that, she was completely and undeniably correct about that! I was not crude or whimsical about such intimate relations. Did I want to anchor her down in Jessica's sense...?

The two girls resumed the last few minutes of their class to concentrating on their maths. Jessica peered at Danishka a few times, and I couldn't tell through her human eyes whether or not the Danishka had been blushing to herself or enjoying a private joke.

"Okay class, there is ten minutes and I think we've covered quite a bit today... you can go off early" Mr Mason said suddenly, cutting through my brooding.

This gave me the advantage of getting to the math building and waiting for her.

I walked briskly across the lawn and spotted Alice retreating in a different direction

_Won't you say hi for me? Anyway, just a few more days..._

Were all psychics this smug?

I leaned against the maths building wall, anxious for her class to end. I was close enough to ear Jessica's voice.

"So I'm guessing you are not sitting with us at lunch" she whispered.

"I don't think so..."

What did she_ mean_ she didn't think so? Hadn't I promised her before?

The bell rang and as both girls got out of the class, they spotted me by the wall. Their eyes went wide, and Danishka's trade mark side frown appeared.

_Wow! There is definitely something going on here, but she is too thick to notice she is in the middle of it! Just...wow! Mike is cute and all... when he is done with her, he can move on to me!_

"Okay, bye uh... Danishka"

Danishka walked towards me, her awkward grace endearing and her unsure frown pulling at my dry heart. "_More than he likes me". _Absurd beautiful girl!

"Hello" I said, curtly.

"Hi" she replied in a small voice, stopping a step away from me.

I knew she was not afraid...another one of her many absurdities, but apparently this was about her imagined gulf between what I meant to her and what she meant to me.

She didn't seem inclined to say more so I led the way to the cafeteria. She walked a few steps behind me, her heart racing and her footfalls getting clumsier. I slowed down so she would catch up and I would be nearer to catch her if she were to trip. Her backpack was secured on her back, her hands shoved in the pockets of her jacket and her head bowed in an insecure way.

Danishka was restless as we stood in line t lunch, shifting from foot to foot, toying with the zipper of her jacket and looking around us in a frightened way. Hmm, she was aware of the stares that were targeted at us and maybe she heard the loud gossip that came with the mental speculations.

Was she more afraid of these human children than an obsessed vampire?

I took a tray and laid it with food; one of each since I did not know what she liked yet.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, her previous endearing but worrying insecurities lost as she glared at me expectantly. "I'm not going to eat all of that!"

"Half of it is for me"

She raised one eyebrow, but said nothing. I went to pay for the food and caught her fumbling with her worn lilac money holder besides me.

"Really?" I hissed, balancing the tray in one hand and snatching her wallet swiftly away from her. "Not when you are with me... ever!"

She gaped at me, her hand still open for the empty weight the wallet had left. She frowned again, shaking her head vehemently and sighing loudly.

I lead us to the table we had sat at before, her footsteps rushed and half-hazardly as she looked around at the many people staring at us. She hated attention.

She sat across from me, her eyes still roving our perimeter in uneasiness. I pushed the tray in front of her.

"Take whatever you want" I commanded.

She picked up an apple and bounced it in her hand thoughtfully before smelling it. I watched, enraptured in the odd gesture and strangely envious of the crimson fruit.

"I'm curious" she said, a speculative look in her eyes.

What a surprise.

"What would you do if someone dared you to eat food?" she continued in a low, appealing voice that wouldn't carry to human ears. Immortal ears was another matter, if those immortal ears were paying attention. I probably should have mentioned something to them...

I reached for the closest thing without looking, holding her eager eyes. I bit a piece off and felt the slimy chunky and repulsive food land unwelcome on my tongue. I chewed swiftly, trying to keep the grimace of m face. The gob went slowly and uncomfortably down y throat. I sighed, as I thought about how I would have to choke it up later. Disgusting.

Danishka smirked at me, shocked and impressed.

It made eating the food worth it, to be able to return her smirk freely. It warmed me up inside, right next to the unwelcome chunk of human nutrition.

"If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you?" I asked, struggling to stop myself from rolling my eyes at her shock.

Her nose wrinkled and she smiled sheepishly. "I did once actually... but in the village I was at, at the time, they considered it a delicacy"

I shook my head. Of course she had...

"You are an enigma" I said, smirking at her.

_They look so cosy, good body language _Jessica analyzed _good body language; I'll give Danishka my take later. He is leaning the way he should, if he is interested in her. Oh gosh, he is so hot, hmm yummy... no, think _only _of Mike!_

"Jessica is analyzing everything I do" I informed Danishka. "She'll break it down for you later"

I pushed the tray of food towards her and realized the slimy gob was pizza. How best to begin? My former frustration flared as I remembered her words; _more than he likes me, but I don't see how I can help that._

She took a bite of from the same slice of pizza. It amazed me how trusting she was. But of course, she didn't know that I was poisonous. Not that sharing food would harm her.

I decided to start of gently.

"So the waitress was pretty, huh?"

She stopped chewing, the food bulging in her soft cheek in the most adorable way and her eyes wide. She swallowed quickly, grimacing as though she found the food unpleasant-or maybe realizing she had bitten from where I had bitten too-and raised one eyebrow.

"You really didn't notice?"

As if any woman could hope to capture my attention from Danishka. Absurdities number three.

"No. I wasn't paying attention. I had a lot on my mind." Some of which had been the pliable hug of her fair emerald cotton tank top and its fascinatingly shaped neck line...

Good thing she had worn that ugly sweater today.

"Poor girl, she was really trying" she said, smiling.

She liked that I hadn't found the waitress interesting in anyway. How many times had I imagined crippling Mike Newton and the Tyler boy in separate locations?

She couldn't honestly believe that her human feelings, the fruition of seventeen short years could overshadow the immortal passions that had been building inside me for up to a century?

Those very feelings she contained, which were in the very least, complex and obscure and still substantially overshadowed by my unchanging passion.

"Something you told Jessica" I couldn't keep my voice casual "well, it bothers me"

"You know what they say about eavesdroppers" she immediately went defensive "anyway, I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like"

Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves that was the saying.

"I warned you I would be listening" I reminded her.

"And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking" she said, her mouth forming a pinched rose that I was sure was meant to be a sulk. What a beautiful sulk...

She was remembering when I had almost made her cry. Remorse made my voice thicker.

"You did. You aren't precisely right though. I do want to know what you are thinking-everything. I just wish... you wouldn't be thinking some things"

More half lies. I knew I _shouldn't_ want her to care for me. But I did-of course I did.

She leaned towards me; her hand cupped her throat lightly. It drew my eye-distracted me. How soft that skin must feel...

_Focus!_ I commanded myself.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" I asked, the words sounded scrambled.

Her eyes were wide, her breathing stopped. Then she looked away, blinking quickly. Her breathing came in a low gasp.

"You are doing it again" she murmured.

"What?"

"Dazzling me" she admitted, meeting my eyes warily.

"Oh" hmm. I wasn't sure what to do about that. Nor was I sure that I didn't_ want _to dazzle her_. _I was still thrilled that I _could._ But it wasn't helping the progression of the conversation.

"It's not your fault" she sighed. "You can't help it"

"Are you going to answer my question" I demanded.

She stared at the table. "Yes"

That was all she said.

"Yes, you are going to answer or yes, you really think that?" I asked, impatiently.

"Yes, I think that" she turned her eyes up at me, sadness clear in them.

"Well, you are wrong" I promised, my voice so tender.

She shook her head disbelieving. "You _can't _know that"

"Why not?"

"Well, let me think" she requested, lightly stopping me from talking with her suspended finger.

She concentrated on the table again, arranging her thought and I sat in false patience. I wished so _desperately _I could read her thoughts!

"Well aside from the obvious" she murmured "sometimes...I can't be sure-I don't read minds unfortunately-but sometimes it seems like you are trying to say goodbye when you are saying something else" she didn't look up.

She'd caught that had she? Did she realize that it was selfishness and weakness that kept me here? Would she finally think less of me then...?

"Perceptive" I breathed, and watched in horror as pain twisted across her face. I hurried to contradict her assumption. "That's exactly why you're wrong-"I began and then paused as I remembered the first half of her answer. They bothered me, although I wasn't sure why. "What did you mean the obvious?"

"Well, look at me" she said.

I_ was_ looking at her. All I ever did was look at her. What did she mean?

"Come on..." she sighed. "I'm... a freak. And then some. Near death experiences and clumsy to the extent I'm nearly disabled... and then look at you" she fanned the air in front of me like she was pointing out something so obvious it wasn't worth spelling out.

She thought...? Her extraordinary _being _was worthy of worship and she had decided to limit herself to the presumptions of Ms Cope, Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mahoney? Didn't she see how completely exquisite she was, her allure and other worldly exoticness... her captivating magnificent glorious... words were _not _enough.

"You don't see yourself clearly you know..." I told her. "I admit you are dead-on about the bad things..." I laughed humourlessly. I did not find that an evil fate haunted her every step comical. I found the clumsiness funny, endearing. It wasn't as if she could help it with her unpredictable extra-senses. Her 'freakiness' was just as captivating to me as her beauty. Didn't she see she was truly exceptional? The exclusive being on a planet full of replicas. No two beings were alike, but they were damn sure similar!

Would she believe me if I told her she was beautiful, inside and out? Perhaps she would find corroboration more persuasive. "You didn't hear what every male was thinking on you first day-what they are still thinking even now"

Ah, the hope, the thrill and eagerness of those thoughts! The speed with which they had turned into impossible fantasies. Impossible because she sat here with me... _cared _for me! 

I must have had an extremely smug grin on my face, but that just couldn't be helped. Her existence was excuse enough to justify the creation of the whole world.

"But I'm not saying goodbye" she mumbled, a cherry glow under her bonbon silken cheeks.

"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it..." would I ever be unselfish enough to do the right thing? I shook my head, I would have to find the strength... she deserved a life. "If I can leave you..." she didn't _belong _to me. I had to stop my possessiveness, how else was I going to let her go!

The depression seeped into my voice and a lump was in my throat. I couldn't continue.

She looked at me then, concern replacing the anger that had rocked her soft and supple frame. That fury that she seemed to think could harm and hurt. Not like my own, the murderous rage that erupted through me... how innocent she was in her fury. Breathtakingly innocent and enraged.

_How could he! That selfish jackass! How could he do this to us? _Rosalie's piercing mental shriek broke my concentration.

"Easy Rose" I heard Emmett whisper to her, his arm around her, tucking her into his side-restraining her.

_Sorry Edward _Alice though _she could tell Danishka knew too much from your conversation... and well, it would have been worse if I hadn't told her the truth right away. Trust me on that._

I winced at the mental picture that followed. What would have happened if Rosalie found out Danishka knew I was a vampire when we were home, were Rosalie didn't have a facade to keep up. I would have to hide my Aston Martin somewhere out of state. The sight of my favourite car mangled and burning was upsetting-even though I knew I'd earned the retribution.

Jasper was not much happier. I'd deal with the others later. I only had so much allotted time to be with Danishka.

"Are you really not interested in the formal, or did all your admirers overwhelm you?" I asked quickly.

"Uh..."she looked away sheepishly.

"If I asked you, would you have turned me down" I asked suddenly. I really needed to stop this impulsiveness...

"Uh, no" she sighed and then a small smile played on her lips. "But I would have cancelled later, faked an illness or a sprained ankle"

"Why would you do that?"  
>She shook her head, as if she was disappointed I hadn't understood at once.<p>

"You've seen me in gym... you've seen me in everyday life! Moving is not my strong point... now imagine _dancing_" she grimaced as she said the offensive word.

"Yes, it amazes me how you can't walk over a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip on"

She laughed sarcastically. "Well, when your eyes behave like a haunted telescope and your own feet have a mind of their own then maybe you will understand"

I smiled at her annoyed expression.

"Well, no problem. It's all in leading when it comes to dancing"

Form a brief fraction of a second, I was overwhelmed by the idea of holding her in my arms at a dance-were she would surely wear something pretty and delicate, not this hideous sweater.

With perfect clarity, I remembered how her body had felt under my own when I had thrown that oncoming van away from her. Stronger than the panic and desperation, I remembered the sensation. She would be so warm and so soft, fitting easily into my own stone shape...

I wrenched myself back from the memory.

"Would you like to do something different then?" I asked quickly, before she could argue with me about her clumsiness. "There's no need for you to hide out on a lovely sunny Saturday"

"How do you know it's going to be sunny? It's _never _sunny on Saturday in Forks" she frowned, her displeasure for the cold and wet shining through.

"I have a personal weatherman" I chuckled.

_I'm the weatherman now? _Alice thought indignantly _you owe majorly_

"Well, okay then... only if you let me drive" she said, smiling sneakily.

"Hmm, but my car is much more... dependable and eco friendly"

"Then I'll drive your car then!" she clapped her hands in triumph, and I was left reeling from her planned coup.

"I don't really let-"I began, thinking of the many times I had fought with Alice about driving my Volvo.

"I'll be the exception" she stated, a little haughtily.

How could I not be rendered speechless by that? She sat across from a vampire, demanding to drive his car and looking breathtaking in that despicable over coloured sweater? She was grinning at me, daring me to overthrow her ruling.

"You are the only _exception_" I breathed, finding my cold hard skin oddly heated and vulnerable under her unwavering gaze.

She smiled at me and picked up her red apple again, bringing it to her mouth and biting slowly through it. Her lips cushioned around the skin as though she was giving it an open mouth kiss and her eyes closed in pleasure. I wished I could eat human food if only I could place my lips on that very place...

"Do you want some?" she asked timidly, holding the apple out for me. "You look kind of hungry...?"

_Hahahaha, he hunger's for something a little more decadent _Emmett's mental guffawing snapped me out of my indecent staring.

"No, no dirt for me" I said tensely. "You are going to tell Cindy you're going out with me, on Saturday?"

She looked at me sceptically, one eyebrow cocked in mock disbelief and a grin forming on her lips.

"Wrong wording...we are hanging out, not going out"

If I could blush, I would have been as red as her half eaten apple. I had missed the current colloquial and inferred something that I actually desired.

"Yes, you _knew _I meant that" I sighed, hiding my discomfort.

"So?"

"Why on _earth _would I do _that_" she asked, sounding horrified.

I glared at her, the visions I couldn't quite manage to repress swirling sickeningly through my head. Her lifeless body, her vacant indigo eyes and ashen cocoa skin... I grimaced and a coiling lump formed in my throat.

"To give me some small incentive to bring you back" I hissed, my breath pushing violently through my throat. "Do I have to _stress _to you that although I crave the Swan girl's blood with a potently horrifying intensity... you are not any less decadent smelling?"

Her eyes widened and she did the most absurd thing yet. She smiled appreciatively.

"I think I'll take my chances" she sighed, her voice low and husky.

Ugh! Did she get some thrill out of risking her life? Some shot of adrenaline she craved?

I scowled at Alice, who met my glare with a warning glance. Beside her, Rosalie was glowering furiously, but I couldn't have cared less. Let her destroy the car, it was just a toy!

"Let's talk about something else" Danishka suggested suddenly.

"What do you want to talk about?" I sighed.

She looked to her left and then to her right, as if checking that there were no eavesdroppers. She must want to introduce another myth-related topic. Her eyes froze for a second and her body stiffened and then she looked back at me.

"Why had you gone to Goat Rocks for... hunting? I heard Mike say it wasn't a good place to hike because of the bears!"

So oblivious. Stared at her raising one eyebrow.

"Bears?" she gasped.

I smiled at her wryly and wondered if this would finally make her take me seriously.

"Bears?" she said again, a tentative question instead of a gasp of shock.

"Grizzly is Emmett's favourite" I watched her eyes take this fact in.

"Hmmm" she murmured, taking a bite from the pizza, chewing thoughtfully and then taking drink from her coke.

"So" she said finally. "What's yours?"

I suppose I should have expected such a question from her, but I hadn't. Danishka was always interesting, at the very least.

"Mountain lion" I said brusquely.

"Ah" she said neutrally. Her heart beat continued in its steady pace, as if we were discussing our favourite restaurant.

"Of course we have to be careful not to impact the environment within judicial hunting" I told her, my voice detached and clinical. "We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators-ranging as far away as we need. There is always plenty of deer and elk here, they'll do, but where is the fun in that?"

She listened with a politely interested expression, as though I were a teacher giving a lecture. I had to smile.

"Where indeed" she said calmly, taking another bite of pizza.

"Early spring is Emmett's favourite bear season" I said, continuing with the lecture. "They are just coming out of hibernation so they are more irritable"

"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear" she agreed, nodding solemnly.

I shook my head, chuckling at her illogical calm. She had to be faking it. "Tell me what you are really thinking, please"

"I'm trying to picture it-but I can't" her side-way's pout forming. "How to hunt a bear without weapons?"

"Oh, we have weapons" I told her and flashed her wide smile. I expected her to recoil but she was very still, watching me. "Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you have ever seen a bear attack on Nat Geo, you should be able to picture Emmett hunting"

She glanced to the table were the others were seated, and shuddered.

Her wide eyes were deep as she stared at me. "Are you like a bear, too?"

"No, more like a lion so they have told me" I strived to sound detached again.

"Is that something I might get to see?" she tilted her head a little, the curiosity evident in her eyes.

I didn't need Alice's visions to illustrate the outcome of her being near me when I hunted.

"Absolutely not" I snarled at her.

"Too scary for me?" she asked, her voice even but her heart doing double time.

"If that were it, then I would take you out tonight" I retorted through my teeth. "You need a healthy dose of fear! It would be extremely beneficial to you!"

"Then why?" she demanded, undeterred.

I glared at her blackly, waiting for her to be afraid. _I _was afraid. I could imagine only to clearly what would happen with Danishka near me when I hunted...

"Later" I snapped, getting up to my feet. "We are going to be late"

She looked around herself, disorientated, like she had forgotten we were at lunch. Like she had forgotten we were even at school-surprised that we were not alone in some private place. I understood that feeling exactly. It was hard to remember the rest of the world when I was with her.

She got up quickly, bobbling one and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"Later then" she said, and I could see the determination in the set of her mouth; she would hold me to that.


	9. Chapter 9

**COMPEL ME**

We walked silently to Biology. Her mouth twitching occasionally and I longed for her to speak already. How odd to miss a voice you had heard minutes prior? How odd to move a feather away from someone and feel like you were a mile away watching them approach you?

My mood improved slightly as Danishka and I took our seats. The teacher entered, pulling in an ancient TV and VCR. He was skipping through a section he wasn't particularly interested in-genetic disorders-by showing a movie for the next three days. No notes, no tests. Three free days. The humans exulted.

It didn't matter to me anyway; I hadn't been planning on paying attention to anything but Danishka. I did not pull my chair away from hers today but sat as close as any human would. Close enough than we sat in my car, close enough that the left side of my body was submerged in the heat from her skin.

It was a strange experience, both enjoyable and nerve wracking, but I preferred this from sitting across the table from her. It was more than I was used to but I quickly realised it was not enough. I was not satisfied. Being this close to her only made me want to be closer still.

I had accused her of being a danger magnet, but right now I _was _the danger. With every inch I grew closer to her, her attraction to me trebled.

And then Mr Crowley switched the lights off.

The difference in the air was exponential, although it did little to hinder my eyesight. I could still as perfectly as before, the room was clear for me.

So why the sudden shock of electricity in this room that was dark, but not dark for me? Was it because I knew I was the only one who could see clearly? That both Danishka and I were invisible to the others? Like we were alone, just the two of us, hidden in the dark room, sitting so close to each other...

My hand twitched, moving towards her without my permission. Just to hold her hand in this darkness, to feel its fiery warmth in my stone cold touch. If it bothered her, she could pull away from my rigid unyielding skin...

I snatched my hand back, folding my arms over my chest and clenching my rebellious fingers into stern fists. No more mistakes and wishful thinking.

If I held her hand, I would only want more. I could feel it. That touch would be a gateway to an entirely new uncontrollable addiction. It would all be justified as innocent; just another insignificant touch, another inch closer. A new kind of craving was wreaking havoc in me, working overtime to undermine my control.

Danishka folded her arms over her chest and her fists balled. _What are you thinking? _I wanted to whisper but the silence was such that I couldn't get away with that.

The movie began, lighting up the darkness just a bit, and Danishka looked up at me. She noted the rigid way I held my body-just like hers-and smiled. Her lips parted slightly and her eyes seemed full of warm invitation.

Or perhaps I was just seeing what I wanted to see.

I smiled back and her breath caught. She turned away viciously, her hair escaping from her awkwardly placed clip and fanning with the sudden motion. Peach spice and exotic Shea butter enveloped me and I had to release my hands to grip the table.

Had she felt this dangerous desire just I had? It made it worse that I couldn't hear her thoughts and didn't know if I had been right about her wanting to _touch _me? Maybe it was a morally good thing that I wasn't too sure about that, painfully good... _torturous _even`

Between her and me, the throbbing electricity hummed.

She didn't move at all through the hour, holding her stiff, controlled pose as I held mine. Occasionally she would peek at me and the humming electricity would jolt through my body.

The uncertainty if what I was feeling was completely one sided had raged through me. but no, this _feeling _needed two parties, I was certain of that much. Did she want to feel it? Was it the same for her as me?

I had a dozen different arguments with myself as the minutes passed, rationality struggling with the desire as I tried to justify touching her.

I watched her lips form a thin controlled line, her breathing consciously controlled but her heart doing an alluring tango inside her chest. Her rising and falling curved chest...

She turned her head a fraction, peering at me through hooded feather duster eyes and I gulped. She turned her head stiffly back to the ancient monitor and I watched as her lips went lax, parting slightly and releasing their fullness in a cherry cocoa velvety pout.

Just a touch...

The lights went on as Mr Crowley ended the first session of the lesson and the atmosphere returned rapidly to normal. In the bright fluorescent light I could see the crimson mahogany tint of her cheeks; she was flustered.

She stretched her hands, splaying the dainty digits on the table top and arched her back. She flexed her fingers, stretching and sighing. It must have been uncomfortable for her to hold that position for long. It was easier for me-stillness came naturally.

I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face. "That was interesting"

"Uhm" she replied, clearly understanding exactly what I meant. What I would give to hear her thoughts in that second.

"I guess its gym now" I murmured, gulping unnecessarily when she peered up at me, her eyes dark and depthless.

"I guess so" she mumbled.

We walked in smooth silence, her heart being the only thing alerting me to the thoughts she _may_ be having; it would pick up suddenly, thudding hard and violently against her chest and then slow back to its normal rhythm. It felt like she did it on purpose, this physical teasing of her internal organs alerting me that she may possibly be thinking of me… fuelling a hope I really had no right of having.

That electricity that had passed between us, in its brief form and intense concentration had fuelled my hunger. Had driven me past thirst and starvation and opened up my eyes to the new sustenance I craved. I was in a famine, I was in hunger and it was all for one simple touch of her supple skin.

"Why are you frowning" she asked when we reached the door to the gym, her own forehead creased as she looked at me.

Because I want to touch you so badly it hurts and I have turned into this starving despicable being…?

"My sister wants to converse with you" I said instead, hearing Alice's thoughts as she skipped our way. "She wants to…"  
>"Hello…" Alice chirped stopping between us, peering up at Danishka from her short height. "You must be <em>the <em>Danishka"

"I… guess… I am" she stammered, looking at me questioningly.

"I know you already know that I know you know who I am" Alice sang smiling. "Shall we enter this hall and watch the dismal match they are about to play?"

"Uh…" Danishka stammered again, confused.

"Oh, you will be playing at some point but we will have plenty of time to chat…" Alice smiled at her, herding us in.

"You get used to her" I whispered to Danishka. "It only gets worse… the know it all psychic stuff"  
>"It can't be worse than the 'know it all telepathic stuff'" Danishka laughed.<p>

"I like her!" Alice giggled, jabbing me in the ribs with a pointy marble elbow. "She has… spice!"


	10. Chapter 10

She leaned absently towards me, engulfing me in the warmth of her chai butter fragrance that managed to somehow find the contradictory line between comforting me and setting my nerves on fire. I held still at first; fearing this new magnetic pull she had over me that made my body want to crash into hers-crash into her infinitesimally more susceptible body, fearing the warmth spreading inside of me when I was made of ice marble and fearing my own twitching hand laying tortured on my leg.

I imagined if I had a heart beat, it would have given my discomfort away-my discomforting addiction. It would hammer in my chest, shaking my frame and announcing that it wanted to jump out into her tiny hands and leave me forever.

"You should come to our home, Danishka" Alice announced after seconds of watching Danishka scrawling in her maths book and wondering how on earth she had walked out of her home with her hair tied haphazard on her head. I wanted to growl at her and tell her Danishka is perfect…

I had long gone given up the fight against some of the urges I felt when coming to Danishka-the only thing I maintained on was that I should keep all of these abrupt needs to myself and never let them out. They were unnatural because I was unnatural…

Danishka paused her scribbling and peered over to Alice who grinned widely, white teeth gleaming with shining proficiency in the pathetic light and causing Danishka's mental tone to splutter.

"Uhm…" Danishka stammered before looking up at me and arching an eyebrow.

"If you want" I whispered listening in on Alice's thoughts as she pleaded with me-holding an internal case on how safe it would be for Danishka and how I needed this.

"Only if you want to" I said again, sighing as Alice tried to look for her vision of me in my meadow but it remained a blurred uncertainty.

"I… guess" she frowned down at her Math's work-work that she was having difficulty with. Her notebook was covered in long calculations that were crossed out violently here and there with splatters of unfinished sums.

"On one condition" Danishka whispered grinning impishly.

"Yes" I sighed theatrically. "I will help you with your Mathematics"  
>"I thought you said you couldn't really hear my thoughts…" she began her eyes wide and expression an adorable innocent look of disbelief.<p>

"Oh, after fifteen minutes of watching you colour in your Mathematics book rather than actually solve a sum" Alice giggled. "It's pretty obvious you were going to take advantage of this particular situation with your overly intelligent nerdy boyfriend"

Danishka froze; the little smile that had started stretching over her lips freezing too and her eyes were trained on the indoor soccer match below. I listened as her heart skipped, stuttered and then fast forward into a loud thrumming vibrating sound, her breath hitching and getting stuck in her throat before she released it into a slow billowing cloud-never looking at me.

How I wished I could hear her thoughts now…

"We are friends" I whispered-not sure whether I was saying this to Alice, Danishka or myself. "She will get Math's tutoring from her intelligent friend"  
>"We can go with that too" Alice pressed enjoying Danishka and me's union in uneasiness.<p>

"I wouldn't say you were a _nerd_" Danishka murmured finally, fidgeting at my side and leaning away-leaving the air around me cooled.

"What would you say I was" I whispered to her-ignoring Alice's internal and external chuckling.

"You put it right when you said _intelligent_" Danishka said softly, peering up at me carefully.

"Oh" I sighed closing my eyes and willing Alice to stop analysing every passing second between Danishka and I. "You are about to be called down to join the match"

"No way" she hissed, snapping her Math's book shut violently.

"Yes way" I chuckled and in five minutes the coach waved her down and pointed for Jenny Kirk to leave her post as left back.

I watched slightly saddened that she was leaving me and excited to see her attempt to grab hold of some lost balance and dexterity in her body for the sport.

"You like her" Alice stated.

"I thought we had established that long ago" I murmured, grinning when Danishka bit her lower lip nervously and stumbled to her post.

"We established that you were in denial" Alice laughed. "And at any point, you like her _too_ much"

"That little quip about me being her _boyfriend_" I growled turning to face her smug pixie-like face. "Is not going to help anything besides making her uncomfortable"  
>"You mean make you uncomfortable" Alice grinned. "I swear, behind the sound of her tango heart beat I could hear your mind working furiously to not wonder…"<br>"Shut it" I snapped gazing back at the match bellow after I heard three separate metal tones murmur my name, hoping stupidly that one of those voices would be Danishka's.

"You were talking to Alice Cullen?" Jessica asked Danishka-peering up at Alice and I and blushing furiously when she met both our watching gazes.

"Kind of" Danishka murmured, her little markers of irritation appearing all over her face-scrunching nose, slightly creased brow and insistent looking at everything that wasn't Jessica. "Jess, maybe lets concentrate on the match…"

"Just a little heads up…" Jessica said dangerously softly. "Lauren thinks you are walking on thin ice with this…"  
>"Edward and I are friends" Danishka hissed, not paying attention to the fact that the match had begun or to Lauren's glaring from the other side of the playing field.<p>

"You are going to have to convince Lauren of that" Jessica sang, moving away from a frowning Danishka. "Isabella too"

"If Lauren wants him so bad why the hell doesn't she just…"Danishka began and I growled low, Alice's little hand quickly gripping my forearm in warning as I saw the calculated thought in Lauren's mind; she had the ball and was skipping down to Danishka's side with it and while Danishka was wheeling around in her little perimeter infuriated and not paying attention to anything but her incense-Lauren shot the ball directly at Danishka and it collided with her head.

"That insufferable…" I began low and fast but Alice maintained her titanium hold on my arm as I shifted slightly.

"No" Alice said her voice full of authority. _She is okay Edward, some of these things… you really have to let her go through…_

"She will hate _talking_ to me if this is the reception she will receive every time she returns to her peers" I hissed, watching as the girls from both teams rushed to Danishka as she got up clumsily from the ground rubbing her head. "She will…"  
>"No, she won't" Alice insisted.<p>

"You don't get it Alice" I whispered. "Whether I feel for her or not, I am her friend… just a friend… to her…"

"For now" Alice sighed, releasing my arm and the moment I was free I moved down the benches, trying to maintain a human like speed and qualm my anger-trying to ignore Lauren's thoughts as she internally sneered in satisfaction.

"Danishka?" it would be Mike Newton of course who would rush to her and offer assistance.

"Argh" Danishka growled, shooing Mike's hovering hand away from her head and calming my anger somewhat with the action.

"Danishka" I said softly and she immediately found me in the huddled group of human's, their heat swarming around me and suffocating me. "She needs space…"

"Get her some space" the Coach sighed, not impressed by Danishka's increased failure at anything that involved hand eye coordination. "Seriously, Nebari… you are a hazard to not only your team mates, but yourself…"  
>"Hmm" she grumbled, moving over to me and walking to the bottom benches and in moments the bell went.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

I had little control when it came to Danishka. I had little control on myself, my thoughts and emotions and it was becoming a hazard to my visage as a human teenager. Lauren Mahoney was calling out to the vampire side of me that wanted to destroy and kill with exponential volume.

It was easy for her to accept me as this when she had only seen but a fraction of my face as a monster. She needed to know that what she considered unreasonably anger on my part, was something entirely different in its unveiling of a 'vampire temper'

"I'll pick you up at five" I murmured, watching as she rubbed her forehead insistently while gazing out of the window at the zooming trees.

"That's tomorrow?" she asked softly.

"Tomorrow"

"Okay" she sighed.

"But before that…." I began, taking in a deep breath as I realised the future Alice had seen-realised how truly bare I had to become for Danishka if I was going to be true to her in this friendship.

"Before that" I breathed "Maybe we can go hiking?"

"Hiking?" she murmured thoughtfully. "Interesting"  
>"It will be fun…" I chuckled nervously. "I want to show you something…"<p>

"I am definitely interested now" she grinned.

"So… in essence" I whispered, parking in front of her house. "I will pick you up at about lunchtime and we can go hiking and after that… we can head to my house and you can have Mathematics lessons"  
>"My maths is not <em>that <em>bad" she breathed and I cocked an eyebrow up at her grinning.

"Okay… maybe it is" she grumbled opening the door.

"It's atrocious" I laughed and she frowned-her side pout that had become as precious as diamonds to me. "I'll see you later, Ms Nebari"

"Later it is, Mr Cullen" she laughed, clumsily skipping of to her front door, never really tripping and crashing inside her house-still laughing freely.

I had never known a happiness like this…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**WELL, DON'T BE SHY-REVIEW! Thoughts, suggestions, dislikes, love and all wanted and appreciated… till next time**

**Tj xx xx**


	11. Chapter 11

I had never known a feeling like this.

I knew what I wanted from Edward, I knew what I needed from him but there was this third requirement that had sprung up on me and it snuck into my mind, crawled down my every murmur of his name and nudged at my heart each time I was with him. Each time that I thought of him…

It felt too easy to put down the emotion on him being a vampire; a supernatural being with an exponential appeal to all things human. But it had ballooned to more than just his predatory magnetism-that he claimed-and turned into so much more. It turned and spread over simple things in luring honey silks-all over our talks, our laughs, his laughs, his humour, his voice, his likes, my likes, our likes…

I had never had a friend really, and by comparisons our friendship was definitely so much more…

Xx~xx~xX

**DANISHKA NEBARI**

**IRREVEOCABLY CONNECTED**

"Hey!" I shrieked, the air by the open window had suddenly ruffled and when I blinked, Edward stood in place of the empty space by the window, grinning at me.

I held the comb clumsily in my hand, staring at him barely aware that my mouth was hanging open and heart thudding violently in my chest. He stood there in his glorious celestial beauty, grinning like a Cheshire cat, obviously pleased with himself at having scared me and reminding me at how atrocious my own movements were; a marching band announcement was what he called my entrances. Loud, crashing and banging as I tripped on everything and anything.

"Why…" I gasped, pointing at the window with my comb and ignoring his fits of soft smooth laughter.

"I thought I would surprise you" he breathed still smiling.

"No, you thought you would give me heart attack!" I snapped, flinging the comb at him-which he of course caught in his hand easily and looked at it curiously.

"I apologise" he murmured, staring at the comb with a slight frown. "I apologise somewhat but your expression was worth it…"

"Hmm" I grumbled. "I could have been changing you know"

"That would have been most unfortunate" he chuckled not looking at me and placing the comb on my dresser, walking around the room and picking up odd objects of mine and surveying them.

"Did you jump?" I asked pulling my jersey over my head and mussing up hair that I had spent fifteen minutes trying to perfect.

"I jumped" he sighed, touching my bed covers carefully. "You like the colour purple?"

"Great movie" I grinned unable to resist and his crooked grin played over his lips before he arched his eyebrow expectantly. "Yeah, its my favourite colour"  
>"Hmm" he murmured, picking up my purple alice-band from my dresser and walking slowly over to me. "Something girlish?"<p>

"My sister got me that" I whispered, watching hypnotised as he refused to look away from my eyes-warm honey floating torturously in the outer ring of black-holding me in place.

"Hmm" he breathed again, reaching over my head and placing the alice-band with its huge purple fabric rose flower on my head. "Alice would be most pleased…"  
>"She needs to lay of my fashion sense" I grumbled, walking over to the side of my bed and picking my backpack.<p>

"Fashion sense?" he asked, grinning again. "I wasn't aware…"

"Don't start with me, Mr Cullen" I chuckled walking over to the door unsure. "Will you be scaling the side of my house or leaving like a normal human… uhm, person"  
>"Seeing as how your eyesight…" he began rolling his eyes.<p>

"You know my eyesight is above twenty-twenty" I cut him opening my bedroom door, wondering if he had intentionally waited for Cindy to go to work before flying through my window.

"Well…" he chuckled walking ahead of me down the corridor. "Seeing as how your _superior_ eyesight causes more havoc on your walking capabilities, I think I should accompany you down the stairs… Maths Lessons and a trip to the hospital… too much for one weekend, don't you think?"

"You tell me, Mind Reader" I laughed, skipping after his nimble step into the outside. "Where is your car?"

"I haven't forgotten you tricking your way into driving…" he sighed, still smiling but the wariness never leaving his eyes. "It's round the front…"

"Just checking…" I murmured.

"You can drive us half way…" he began, smiling shyly before inhaling a steady breath "I thought I would begin your first lesson on… what makes… a vampire"

"Hmm" I breathed, my heart squeezing and excitement welling into my heart and mind-how long had I wondered on these things. "What would our first lesson entail?"  
>"A run through the forest" he chuckled walking over to me and holding out his hand.<p>

"I don't run well"

"Don't worry…" he breathed, his fingers cool and strong tugging my hand gently to his car. "I'll do all the running when we get there…"

Xx~xx~xX

He moved like a rocket, a smooth torpedo through the air, cutting it as easily and ghosting over the earth in barely felt steps. We could have been flying for all I knew-the trees could have been flying by us. The green blurring over into brown, the sunlight dazzling the air in soft reflecting dancing beams and the sounds of the forest droned out by Edwards soft sighs and chuckles, his voice somehow carrying to my ears over the rush of air his motion gave-his soft fluent tone asking me if I could see.

"Yes" I breathed; squinting over the stinging of the wind and praying some unfortunate bug didn't splatter all over my face.

I may have been more terrified if my eyesight had truly gone superhuman in this moment, but the safety of blurring objects allowed me to not only feel the true extent of his speed and agility but to view it as more than a motion. He was elusive to nature. He could fool it with his very motion, a spectre through air-a ripple in the space barely noticeable if one was not paying attention.

"Am I choking you?" I called out, fearing my stronghold on his neck-although I was certain he was near indestructible, the thought that I would be the one to cause him to splutter was… terrifying. He chuckled freely, and I felt him slow down, the trees seemed to get thicker and the light dimming as the tree tops shielded it from entering through their canopy.

"Not even if you tried" he laughed, stopping all together and causing my already adjusted sense of equilibrium to his fast motion to buckle, the stop bringing a sudden whoosh of dizziness.

He placed me down carefully, needing to pry my hands from his neck and looked at me with a slight worried expression. It was all I could do to not sway and give him another reason to insist I was more fragile than any normal human due to my 'supernatural affliction'.

"You look spooked" he murmured, his eyes clouded and expression controlled.

"So you are trying scare me!" I laughed and lost the battle of standing still, swaying to the left a little.

"Any normal person would be" he said sombrely, placing his cold hand on my forehead slowly-as though having a fast argument with himself on the action. "Maybe you should have closed your eyes"

"No" I exhaled, nudging into his palm. "That was… exhilarating"  
>"The things you find entertaining worry me, Danishka" he sighed.<p>

"You know…" I laughed. "You don't need to try and follow every vampire stereo type out here"  
>"What do you mean" he asked, frowning a little and walking slowly ahead, indicating I follow him.<p>

"Why can't you be Edward Cullen" I said, trying to keep my tone light. "Friendly Forks Vampire who munched on Mountain Lions"

"That's who I am trying to be everyday Danishka" he breathed, looking up at the trees "That is the half of me… I need you to understand this, that is the half of us. Everyone who leads this lifestyle is split in between-Friendly Vampire and Lurking Monster within…"

"I don't believe you" I grumbled, tripping after him.

"You don't want to believe me" he whispered. "But someday… soon maybe, later hopefully-you will believe"  
>"And I'll go running into town screaming?" I scoffed.<p>

"No, you won't make a _sound_" he finished morbidly, stopping and looking at me with saddened eyes. "We are here…"

"Here were?" I huffed-propping myself on my thighs and trying to catch my breath.

"My little piece of peace…" he whispered and I looked up.

The thick trees I had walked through lay around the little clearing in an almost perfect circle; a luscious barrier of green and brown encroaching on soft emerald grass carpeting. A few large boulders lay almost purposefully opposite each other, tangled in vines and purplish flowers. Sprinkled all over the ground, through the grass were purple and white flowers swaying tranquilly in the soft breeze and medium sized chalky white rocks lay unbalanced around the space.

It was a meadow and it was more beautiful than any ever seen on a post card or television. It was… a piece of peace…

"Its… beautiful" I breathed, walking away from him and pivoting, eyes wide and in awe at the peaceful slumber like beauty the clearing exuded.

"I made it…" he said slowly walking away from me, but at the edge of my perimeter-eyes watching me carefully. "I made it when we moved here… the second time"

"Your piece of peace" I sighed, falling into the grass and watching him standing in the shade, still and curious in his blue grey ensemble of clothes.

He appeared abruptly by my side, startling me with his invisibly fast motion. He didn't laugh this time, simply looked at me with that detached wariness even though my lips were quirking unsure on whether to turn his show of speed into humour or not.

"You know that on the first day…" he said slowly and then paused closing his eyes and swallowing a breath "The first day Isabella walked into our classroom…"  
>"We have spoken about that" I said hurriedly, already nervous at the direction his angst was taking us "And if you even say 'monster' then I am going there with you because I wanted her… blood too"<br>"No"

"Yes" I sighed wearily, my fingers twitching to touch his face, to move over his nose and pull his eyelids open and convince him that of all the monsters alive, he was a saint.

"What would you have done" he hissed so suddenly, eyes flying open and meeting my own with a violent sort of despair and I started-realising my hand was indeed hovering over his face. He pushed it down, a gentle yet strong motion and inched closer.

"What would you have done that day in that classroom Danishka?" he asked slowly. "You would have sat there confused, and even if it led to anything… you would have been pulled of her by someone, you would have been restrained and help sought for you. now, as for me…" 

He moved away from me, turning his face away and when he looked at me it had smoothed into sadness.

"I would have killed everyone, Isabella, the teacher, Mike Newton… and you" he said calmly. "The classroom littered in lifeless bodies and I would have drank her blood and then walked out quickly, alerted my family and we would have disappeared from Forks-no justice served except for my conscious ruined for eternity"  
>"Never" I hissed.<p>

"Oh, but yes" he laughed "Alice saw it… that is how she saw it playing out, in fact"

"Then why am I sitting here talking to you?"

"Because you saved me" he whispered, looking at his hands "You saved me, you, Isabella and that whole classroom when you thought of some man with red eyes… and I realised I didn't-I could never be that. I don't want to be a monster"

"You are not a monster Edward" I breathed and I braved my heart and placed my hand over his, revelling in the contrast of white oleander and umber, how unequivocally different we were and yet we had shared that grim similarity momentarily...

"You make me believe that" he whispered looking at me and terrifying my mind at the way in which he gazed freely into my eyes, searching for something and when he found it he smiled so beautifully I thought I could never look away. I inhaled sharply, looking away from him stiffly and removing the alice-band from my hair; giving my hands something to do that didn't involve tearing my hair out from nerves.

"You see" he breathed, suddenly at peace-the shadow leaving his features "In all my years, I have felt this… oppression from being a vampire. A walking demon with a conscious…"

He leaned back into the ground, smile playing on his lips and closed his eyes serenely and I thought he wouldn't open them any time soon-I could gaze upon him liberally.

"A walking demon cursed with a conscious" he continued calmly "It is what Carlisle thinks of us on a good day"  
>"Your dad" I whispered.<p>

"Hmm" he breathed, tucking his arms behind his head, eyes till closed. "My dad I suppose. He is my maker really… most of us"  
>"Most of you?"<p>

"Alice and Jasper have separate makers" he sighed. "Esme, Rosalie and I… we are from Carlisle's venom"

"Does it hurt" I whispered, picking at grass blades near his exposed forearms "Being turned…"  
>"It is literally dying" he said stoically. "Unbearable fires sprung form hell consuming you and you wake up to a different never ending burn… the thirst for blood… and human blood truly breaks a vampire to his most primal, bring out a side that is frenzied and uncontrolled. Near unstoppable…"<br>"But Carlisle managed to stop" I breathed, imagining the beautiful angelic Doctor Cullen biting Edward's neck carefully; there was no way Carlisle would not be able to stop, eyes so innocent and filled with ancient compassion.

"Yes" Edward murmured "He did"

He remained silent after that, eyes closed and face a tranquil mask of relief to something and I watched fascinated as his form remained entirely still, barely breathing or not at all…

"Have you fallen asleep?" I asked, prodding his arm.

"No" he breathed grinning but not opening his eyes "I never sleep… we established that"  
>"Never ever…" I laughed.<p>

"Ever…" he sighed. "I do miss dreaming though"

"And nightmares?" I asked and he laughed.

"You have yet to tell me the relevance of the man with the red eyes" he murmured.

"I don't know myself" I sighed, playing with the grass blade absently "I just… _know_ he was there at some point in my life and he is dangerous. He hates me…"

"Is he…?" Edward began

"I don't know if he is a vampire" I sighed. "Maybe he bit me"  
>"You are not a vampire" Edward hissed, rising swiftly from his peace and rounding on me "You are no vampire… vampires are soulless beings condemned to walk these earth…"<p>

"Then how do I do what I do?" I asked, trying not to make his vehemence into an attack on my personal emotions.

"I…" he looked away, unsure "I don't know…but we will figure it out. Maybe…. Carlisle can help"  
>"Maybe…"<p>

"Danishka, the things you do…" he said rising from the ground "Are miniscule to what a vampire, a predator is capable of…"  
>He rushed to the other side of the clearing and stood by an almost dead tree; he wrapped his hand around it half way and tugged. The tree came out easily, levitating in the air propped by his hands, its roots dangling indolently bellow it and swirling dust in the air before he sent it crashing into a boulder. In the next instance he disappeared, appearing above the boulder, then beside it and finally by my feet.<p>

"As you see…" he said sternly "You would have no fighting chance of fighting of a true predator, of running from one…"  
>"Hmm" I murmured, looking away form him petulantly "You didn't have to destroy the nature to make your point"<br>"But I do" he laughed uneasily "You are not very trusting, always wanting to see before believing…"

"Okay" I said slightly haughtily "I get it. You are dangerously fast and strong"

"Dangerously _everything_" he insisted. "Never forget that"

"You want me to walk around with the notion that you are a _hazard_ to me, lingering in the back of my mind?"  
>"Something like that" he laughed.<p>

"I'll try"

"You see…" he breathed, sitting by my feet carefully "We are not always most dangerous in our terrifying violence…"

He leaned over my legs, closer and deliberate-using his eyes to pull me into his point, blinking slowly and delicately…

"It is in our allure…" he breathed his breath fanning over my face and clouding my mind of reason and control. "It is in our seduction of human prey…"

I reached over and touched his face, no thought to the action than this simple new need to touch him and his eyes swirled from golden to burnt precious honey, swirling in an unforgiving onyx ring..

"When we intentionally pull in, attract and covet basic emotions, human emotions… the most _primal_…"he murmured, his voice dropping to smooth liquid syrup over the airwaves and I leaned in with him, our eyes locked in a fierce battle to _not_ look away and my finger twitching by the corner of his mouth.

I breathed once, heart spluttering furiously and vibrating my form and he inhaled, his form going rigid and eyes darting to my lips before he pushed backward too fast, crashing into the boulder and filling the air with a deafening cracking bang.

"I apologise" he murmured-a low sound that was still textured and carried easily from the distance and then he chuckled "I… well, maybe you understand the 'glamour' a vampire is capable of pulling to lure… prey quietly"

"Yes" I croaked, shifting nervously in my little spot on the ground, my hands heated and vision blurring between normal eyesight and telescopic lenses, watching fascinated as his form zoomed before me and then retreated in my vision.

"I thought I had that in control…" he whispered walking slowly through the air, a different motion to his almost teleport-like movements. I watched fascinated as his path led him to a splayed patch of light and he hesitated deliberately-everything with Edward was calculated-and paused watching me anxiously.

"I really don't want to dazzle you" he laughed-a nervous droning bell sound and then he took a step in the light, but it still didn't touch any art of him "But it is important we be careful of such things…"

He took another step in the light and I realised I was holding my breath, hands clutching the grass in desperate fists as I watched, waited… anticipated… He was finally engulfed in light, and I momentarily thought he had turned invisible as his skin, face and hair got lost in the daze and brightness of the rays-squinting in search of him but when he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, he became as clear as crystal. He stood still for a second, watching me I was sure… it was hard to tell with his glowing glittering skin reflecting every beam like a diamond, a jewel incrusted marble casing…

"Oh my" I breathed and then laughed at how 'Jane Austen' I sounded, equally berating myself for not engraving each second this glorious angel stood in the glow of holiness in my mind and then trying to forge each one of the curves of his shimmering face into my memory, his hair moving like hallowed fire…

"You see this skin..." he sighed-a disgusted tone in his voice, looking away from me. "This skin is the skin of a monster, designed entirely to pull in prey…"

"This _dazzling _you speak of" he said dryly appearing above me and offering his hand before finishing with a lighter, slightly weary "but then again, you say I dazzle you but here you are… dazzling me…"

"Well, that can't be right if only predators _glamour_ and _dazzle_… " I breathed, forcing my fingers to let go of his cool hand when I was up.

"Well…" he said smiling, reaching for my backpack "It must mean you are my exclusive predator then…"

Xx~xx~xX

He ran to his house easily, whizzing over the ground too fast and carefree but this time I kept my eyes closed. Somewhere during the journey a wry thought popped into my mind that my hair had been thoroughly blow dried by the wind and I would probably really need to put that alice-band on after all. I wasn't meeting Edward-my boyfriend's parents but even though we were this new and interesting ambiguity called 'friends', I felt nervous.

Their house was massive and yet modest in its beautiful splendour; large windows were splattered over its wood face and lights propped around it. It sat in the middle of encroaching trees with a single gravel drive way leading away from its tree-nest and hidden in the woods was the sound of water moving slow.

"Welcome…" Edward murmured, opening the door and watching as I walked in slowly, self consciously wrapping my arm around my middle.

"It's…"

"Not a coffin?" he laughed.

"I told you to get rid of those 'vampire stereotypes' Edward" I said absently gazing at a giant propped up wooden cross on the wall.

"It's Carlisle's" he breathed. "It was his fathers"

"It looks ancient" I said, touching the wood carefully.

"That's because it is" he chuckled, walking up the stairs carefully. "I think they made you something to eat"

"Hmm" I murmured, following up the stairs. "Only if you eat it with me"

"You scared to eat in a house full of vampires?" he laughed.

"No" I said grinning impishly "I just want to see you _suffer_…"

"Danishka! What a surprise…" Alice appeared in front of me, flowers in her hand and hair pulled back under an alice-band. "These are for you"

"Thanks… Alice" I said unsure taking the flowers, looking at Edward who was frowning at her "They are lovely"

"I told you she would end up wearing the alice-band if you brought it" she grinned at him and disappeared, calling out "Come meet everyone Danishka!"

We followed her and ended up in a large light filled kitchen. I had of course, seen the other Cullen siblings but viewing them in this new light were I knew what they were and in their own home-were they would be free to be true to their nature, felt intrusive.

"You know Rosalie…" Alice chirped, pointing delicately at Rosalie.  
>"Alice…"murmured a woman I had never seen, but her soft beauty and patient golden eyes gave her away as Edward's mother. "Let Edward do the introductions <em>please<em>"  
>Alice pouted but winked at me and grinned when Edward hesitated.<p>

"You know my other siblings, of course" he said slowly. "This is Esme, my mother… for intents and purposes"

"How do you do" Esme said softly, startling me when she moved towards me and hugged me tightly in cold arms. "You really are most lovely"

"Thank… you?" I stammered, berating myself internally for allowing the appreciation to come out as a question.

"This is… well, you already met…" Edward said impatiently, motioning at Carlisle who stood over a chopping board.

"I would like to be introduced nonetheless" Carlisle chuckled. "Formalities are my…"  
>"Weakness" Edward sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yes, we know…. Carlisle. This is Carlisle… my father"<br>"Nice to meet you again" I said softly, nervously.

"No broken arms?" he laughed and I grinned at his humour.

Rosalie surveyed me from the corner of the kitchen with narrowed eyes and a hard line on her lips, her beauty was breathtaking, as all of theirs was but it rivalled Edward's in its magnetism and her disapproving expression was all the more pronounced because of it.

"She is not speci-" she began in a derisive tone but then Edward growled, cutting whatever she was bout to say.

"We'll head up stairs" he breathed, tugging my hand. "This was… embarrassing"

Xx~xx~xX

"Uh…" he opened the door at the end of the large passage slowly, smiling softly "This is my room…"  
>I walked in bit by bit behind him, looking at the organised way everything was laid out in.<p>

The carpet was a soft beige colour spanning the entire room with a single white rug laid out at the foot of a golden couch, the couch itself had dark wood running its frame, an expansive wall was laid out in shelving filled with things ranging from books to cd's and a large closet was fitted into the opposite wall.

"Where is the bed?" I blurted.

"For the last time…" he laughed. "I don't sleep…"

"Hmm" I picked up a twirling green marble object from his work desk and lifted it to the light. "Then what do you do with yourself…"

"Well…" he said slowly and the little markers of nervousness I had began to notice he gave, popped up "I sometimes go for walks…"

"Hmm, all the way into the early hours of morning?"

"Just… to one destination, of late" he breathed, picking his little marble stature of a dragon from my hand and taking the hand into his own, wheeling me around to face him.

"Where would that be?" I asked him, moving sluggishly with him as he attempted to make me dance.

"Your house" he whispered, twirling me carefully around. "Does that bother you?"

"Yes" I whispered. "What if I snore…?"

"You don't snore" he laughed. "You do however talk and moan…"

"Hmm" I murmured, looking at our joined hands and smiling at him. "Hopefully I don't reveal my bank combination or anything incriminating…"

"Just once…" he said quietly "When your cat died…"

"Oh"

"Yes, Alice" he whispered his eyes never leaving my face and I turned to the door as it opened.

"Well…" Alice sang, grinning at me and winking "We are off to play baseball and we were wondering…"  
>"Maybe some other time Alice" he sighed looking at me carefully. "Danishka has Mathematics Tutoring to look forward to"<br>"Yes…" I nodded slightly relieved I would be spared tripping all over the place "I should warn you I won't be much of an asset _anyway_…"  
>"Oh I do not doubt that… you think I would be crazy enough to put you in a playing position?" Alice exclaimed sighing theatrically at the <em>absurdness <em>of the notion. "Even if you were fast and strong enough to tumble with vampires, your coordination will cost some poor team _winning_… you would be umpire, thank you very much!"

"I am not that bad" I grumbled following Edward out.

"You are atrocious" he laughed. "Beautifully and perfectly _atrocious_"

"Mathematics it is" I sighed but his carefree mood had welled up inside me and I wanted to prolong every second I was with him.

"Oh, don't be sad" he grinned. "You get to watch me scoff down dust and vomit it out later, you little sadist!"

"I think I'll pass on the former" I chuckled "But I'll have a towel at hand for you when you are done…"

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE: REMEMBER TO REVIEW LIKES, DISLIKES AND LOVE**

**Oh, yes… short chapters. Hmm-I do apologise for that. The story had been completed all the way to two hundred pages so chapters could be decidedly long as material was available in abundance but then the material ran out and I am now writing the story in real time. You may notice a change in the style of writing-I had written this some time ago, and then paused before deciding to just post the work. **

**Danishka is never ever suppose to resemble Bella characteristics, so if she does something Mary Sue like… alert me and I'll smack her back to originality. She is supposed to challenge Edward with the romance aspect… he has to work for it, shame….**

**Initially this was supposed to follow the twilight time frame, but since I have some of the New Moon version written up already, I have decided to just merge it in. This is all to avoid long dry periods of updates, writers block and such…**

**If you are reading Avatar: a day in the life of Zuko-it has been paused for a short while, plot line purposes.**

**As I am-similar situation; passed for plot line purposes.**

**The Cullen's Arrive-Currently working on that constantly; which you should read NOW if you aren't already-it's going well and takes a little lurid twist on Carlisle and his holy self with a little Leah in the mix.**

**They Set out to Kill Fate-still relatively in the early stages but with enough support I hope to make something of it. Jacob, Renesme, an OC and Leah deal with the dark side of imprinting.**


	12. Chapter 12

Of course I didn't know about love in practice.

And yet I knew everything there was to know about it in theory; the many levels of falling into it, of diving through the thin sheet of liquid bliss and floating through its embracing relieve of ecstasy before hitting the bottom in an altered state of neurotic pleasure.

Had I not seen it in the minds of my family first hand-each of them going through all these levels with diverse intensities but the same ending result of binding permanence to each other… the ridiculously easy way I had thought they had become hypnotised to their counter parts? How easily I had thought they had given in… how entirely easy….

"They are really good cooks for people who don't eat" she murmured peeping into the pot at the leftover food.

"_Vampires_ that don't eat" I said softly, watching her move around the island with a large clear plastic container. "What are you doing?"

"Clearing up" she huffed, opening a drawer and then shutting it in frustration when she didn't find what she was looking for. "Where do you keep your serving spoons?"  
>"You don't have to do that…" I sighed, walking over to her. "<em>Danishka<em>"

"I don't want Rosalie thinking I am some sort of _untidy_ human" she mumbled, finding the drawer containing the spoons and going back to the pot.

"But you _are_ untidy" I laughed "Have you seen your room?"

"Hey…!" she whacked with me with the spoon-it may have been an intentionally feeble strike "That is called a _stipulated_ mess!"

"So you _like_ that giant purple teddy bear so much that you placed it _deliberately_ in the corner next to your cabinet to collect dust?" I laughed, reaching for the spoon and letting her angle it out of my reach.

"Mr Fluffles is not _dusty_" she smiled behind her fake frown. "He is just… in need of some fabric softener"

"Besides, your scent is on him" she added absently, scooping food into the container. "Should I put this in the refrigerator?"

I stared at her for a moment, stared at her innocent beauty and the odd effortless joy she exuding in a _vampire's_ home-storing away food that would be thrown out _anyway_. How entirely easy it was to share in her joy, to fall in her wide cerulean eyes and willingly drown myself in her, allowing my mind to be hypnotised and enslaved to her every whim…

"You can throw it on the floor for all we care" I said roughly, feeling like coughing and yelling to the heavens simultaneously. "No one is going to bother with that"  
>"But they…"<p>

"They won't care, Danii…" I sighed reaching for the lunch box and looking at the squishy gunk distastefully-hoping I had managed to say her name with as little intensity in comparison to the impossible exponential thrumming power it had been reverberating with in my mind "You are really just prolonging our boredom in here…"

"What did you want to do?" she asked-a hint of excitement in her voice.

"Well…" I sighed theatrically, spinning away from her too fast for her to see, throwing the food into the bin and placing the container in the sink before she had blinked thrice "We run back through the beautiful forest to collect your car at your house and maybe… I can share with you one of my classic favourite movies showing in town"

"And what about…"

"Okay, we can load the pots in the dishwasher" I sighed. "What is it with you and cleaning today, Ms Nebari…? I am starting to think you are out to impress me with some hidden _wife_ skills"

"I get pomposity as gratitude for my _kindness_…? I knew I should have made you eat with me" she grumbled handing me a dirty pot. "You are most likely at your most attractive when you are retching over a toilet"

"Such _beautiful_ things you say to me" I laughed. "I bet Jessica would agree with you on that one"

"I bet Jessica would agree with me on _anything_ to do with you" she sighed, leaning against the marble island and watching me attempt to work the machine-her eyes burning my back in searing nerve racking intensity. "I also bet… you have _never_ used that"  
>"Not ever" I chuckled. "But I am a fast learner…"<p>

Within seconds, I had loaded the machine and it was whirling peacefully.

"What _aren't_ you good at?" she asked, smiling softly and packing her bag with her homework.

"Eternity gives you time to be good at a lot of things" I sighed. "It gets boring… you have no idea how refreshing it is…"

I wanted to say how refreshing it is to be unnerved by something, to be mystified and dishevelled by a _single being_… to be hopelessly in love and entirely happy with no real reason than simply having her breathe but such confessions would help nothing but destroy something so beautiful in its simplicity; our friendship.

"How refreshing…?" she urged.

"The dishwasher is busy" I laughed, pulling her bag of her shoulder and swinging it over mine, leading the way out of the kitchen "You have no excuse to pretend to be _homely_ now"

"You are such a _subject_ _changing brat_ Edward Cullen" she grumbled, her footfalls stumbling after me "… and I can carry my own damn bag!"

Xx~xx~xX

I should have driven her home. I should not have gone through the woods. But here we were… because I was incapable of leaving her be in her human safety…

"I smelt the others" Laurent murmured "You did to, Victoria?"

The red haired female nodded, her eyes locked to my own.

"There were many of them, six scents…" Laurent said softly. "James… come of it… it's not worth it…."

It had felt like it could last another life time, an entire eternity… it had felt unlimited in its instantaneous unrecoverable joy but now as I stared into the red eyes of the vampire Victoria and Laurent-desperately trying to get to Danishka it was obvious how flimsy my happiness had been.

"James… let her be…"Laurent whispered quickly, circling me with Victoria. "We don't need his entire coven tracking us for this one pet"  
>"Hmm" James murmured, pretending to think things through but Danishka's stubborn anger that overrode her fear of his red eyes only fuelled him. It didn't help that I was incapable of acting out indifferent, my every twitch alerted to her-yearning to have her in my arms and safe and apologize for such foolish dreaming I had been doing all day, when all I was able of producing was this <em>nightmare<em>…

Her fragrance sifted through the air, permeating every molecule in stimulating cherry-peach fire and delectable melting Shea Butter and Chai-spice; that diverse scent escaping in blood was undeniable and every vampire snapped their heads in her direction and I hated myself for sharing in on her scents desirability, swallowing hard as the venom pooled in my mouth…

That did it. Any reason Laurent was attempting to give to James vanished and he absently took a step forward, away from me and towards the crouched James looming over Danishka.

"Get away from her!" I roared, charging ahead-knocking Laurent out of the way swiftly but James managed to dance away from me "Danishka?"

"I am fine" she insisted, her hand tainted red over her arms wound. I pulled her up easily, keeping a lock on the three vampires deliberating the prudence of loosing their flimsy control for a human with a vampire protector and a possible large coven behind him.

"We apologise…" Laurent sighed-a dry sound that flitted through the air uselessly as his eyes remained locked onto Danishka's form behind me.

He backed away, signalling for James to do the same but the sandy haired vampire hesitated-angered by Laurent's authority in the matter and taking any retreat as a sign of submission. I listened horrified as each second I crouched in front of Danishka-growling and snarling-he took it as a sign that Danishka would be the utmost prize. In his mind, it made no sense that I would risk so much for this one girl and the only reason he could produce was that she was worth him taking this risk…

She had become the utmost prize for him after years of playing his tracking game.

"No… I won't allow you…" I snarled and James eyes widened in confusion, assuming his backing away stance would cover his internal lies. "I will protect her!"

"All the more fun…" he whispered taking a step forward and ignoring Laurent's dying calls for him to follow them. "They will understand… she is… special"

"You should leave…" I hissed at him. "Go to your coven… this is not worth it"

"You are rather cocky for a lone vampire" he laughed.

"You smelt the rest of my coven" I whispered "They are not far off…"  
>"By the time I am done with you…" he murmured, watching me through the shadows-his mind frenzied between Danishka's scent and my reaction to her. Logic would have been to be less protective, logic would have dictated I have gone with her being a pet… logic had flown out the window the moment I let my self fall. The moment she entranced me into readily falling so effortlessly…<p>

"You'd be singing for death" he snarled, leaping through the air at me-dreaming of surprising a telepathic vampire.

Xx~xx~xX

I wouldn't say I had been born into this immortal death through violence like most vampires. I wouldn't say I had woken up through the burning of searing blood fire-flinging and spitting, so readily turning to a demon and willingly passing through the gates of hell and embracing an evil that could last forever through murder and self gratification of mortal souls.

I wouldn't say that because it _wasn't_ so. It could never be _that_ because Carlisle had pulled me from mortal death through to this sin in a steady boat passing calmly over the seas of thirst with compassion and love.

I had thought I had been blessed at a time because of this. Because he had quickly introduced me to morality over immortality; reminded me that we sought to be good even if we were evil incarnate. But I wasn't blessed one single bit in retrospect… not at this moment at any rate, with a snarling tracker-vampire hissing, spitting and snapping violent glistening blanch teeth inches from my face and his mind easily pulling the instinctive violence of a vampire with no thought or remorse…

_I was weaker because I feared the ferocious overwhelming power of vampirism…_

And she was bleeding behind me, she was slipping away with each second that James managed to push me further away from her and I would slip away with her…

He swiped left in his mind and before the action was born-I jumped to his right, avoiding the blow and blocking Danishka again. Growling in frustration at how I knew his every move, how my speed trumped his natural born instinct-he moved impulsively and knocked me feet back; closer to her bleeding form thrashing on the ground as the venom-_his accursed venom_-contaminated her blood.

"Argh….!" she groaned and James smiled, his eyes flicking to her form on the ground in a nanosecond before returning to my face in gleeful malevolence.

He had killed before… he had killed many a vampire before and I was a yellow eyed youthful century old boy with a _little_ _talent_ that was prolonging what should have ended ages ago. I should have been dead ages ago…

I agreed with him, maybe in _another_ time-I agreed that if it were any other time in the past before Danishka, this might have ended but the simple fact was…

I wasn't the worst fighter due to my telepathy and speed but I was-like Carlisle-an _unwilling_ fighter. But this new overwhelming brutality she had woken me to through loving her in this irrevocable passionate way… was perilous to all obstacles that sought to oppose it. I knew of bloodlust… but when it was set ablaze in the inferno of a higher need to have _her_ _live_-my age and diet played no factor to my ability to kill James. My age, diet and telepathy were not blessings or hindrances. They were non factors because it was my _love_ for her that would end him…

He leapt in the air once more, through the shadows of the trees swaying in front of the setting sun-he merged his form with the darkness, growling and laughing simultaneously because to him-he had already won. He read my feigning movements with no intuition to my telepathy; he mistook Danishka's moans as a sign of true weakness.

It was easy to become one with him then, as I jumped into the air and caught him. It was easy to lose myself to a the monster-the vampire-as I locked my arms around him and spun us into the trees tearing at hard flesh violently and desperately painting the love I had for her in aggressive ferocity-whipping at James with it blindly.

Oh, how is easy it had been till he had cried out and Laurent and Victoria had heard him; pausing their slow exit from our Forks territory and running back to us I presume… their thoughts confused and panicked-to them James had no reason to cry out… it had been a _done_ fight. They were certain of it and Laurent had not been worried of it because James recklessness would cost him very little…

Their thoughts got louder and Danishka's heart rate steadied, her wound healing too quickly over his bite… over the venom.

I had only seconds to hit flint against each other and end James. I had only seconds of running to pray to God on behalf of Danishka-the only one with a soul to be saved-that my family had returned home and we would arrive in time to be protected.

Xx~xx~xX

**DANISHKA NEBARI**

"I am so sorry" Edward murmured again, his hand moving in a blurred motion over me, strapping the seat belt in place and stroking my face carefully. "Danii…"

"It's no ones fault" I murmured absently. "It's… no ones…"

Rosalie scoffed low, Edward growled audibly a t her and she sauntered off to Carlisle before she calculatingly threw me one last reproachful look through the reflection of an aluminium tin can.

"I spoke with Laurent" Jasper murmured, giving me a wide berth before saying the rest of his message too fast for me to pick up-I watched Edward's varying expressions of violence, worry and then he relaxed somewhat.

"Thank you" Edward sighed, picking up my now tattered backpack.

"What exactly happened…?" Esme whispered, looking back at me with deep concern. I wasn't supposed to hear this, I guessed-my hearing must have been above normal in my trauma.

"I…" Edward began and then grimaced. "I was taking her home through the forest when we… bumped into them"

"How did you manage to… ward them off?" Emmett asked frowning.

"I don't know… I have never had to fight like that… never thought I _could…_" Edward whispered. "But it was my fault"

"It isn't your fault, Edward" I hissed and they all turned round bewildered that I had heard-staring at me. "You aren't the master of time and space, last time I checked"

With Jasper here, cooling my fear-which had been exponential after staring into James red eyes for what seemed an entire lifetime-I found my tongue. My fear was quelled artificially by Jasper but the memory of it remained and it fuelled my unease at Edward's sudden distance. It alerted my senses that although James was no more, Victoria having run off according to Laurent's word and Laurent himself quickly making amends with a coven much bigger than any he had met and stronger too… although the danger was supposedly passed, Edward's lingering worry and pain was a new danger. A greater fear…

"She heard…?"Esme murmured quickly, her lips barely moving but at this point-after the numbing sensation in my mind and the throbbing of my red tinged scar-I could hear my own heart beat and the soft murmur of Alice and Carlisle talking as they walked down the stairs towards us.

"I told you she was _exceptional_" Edward said-his voice dry.

"There is no venom in her system, Edward" Carlisle announced, walking into the garage with Alice. "The wound has healed too"

"I am fine" I whispered-slurred-and Alice rushed to my side, propping me easily in the passenger seat of the Volvo when I staggered in my seated position. "I just need…. To rest"

"Take her home, son" Esme whispered and Edward materialised in the driver's seat, reaching over me to secure the seatbelt I had taken off and starting the car. Rosalie frowned-a beautiful worried expression tainted with irritation-and walked off, leaving Emmett to say goodbye.

"There is no more danger" Emmett murmured through my haze of Tylenol, exhaustion and the now growing distress as Jasper disappeared with Alice. "We won't let anything happen to you, little sister…"

"I am so…" I slurred, groaning when the car lurched forward and ignoring Edwards heaving.

"It is _I_ who is sorry, Danishka" Edward mumbled softly in the distance of my mind.

Xx~xx~xX

"Danii" his voice was honey and smooth-not like the red eyed dark man which was always icy and lava at the same time. Scorching and unforgiving. The red eyed dark man… the red eyed dark malevolently handsome man with the hungry smirk, the man who sang for me to bleed, the man who was like James… they wanted me dead…

"Ngh…" I groaned, flailing my hands in a semi conscious state and Edward's cool gently steel hand held me still.

"It's a dream" he whispered. "A nightmare… you are safe…"

"Huh?"  
>"It's over Danishka" he murmured sadly, releasing my arm when he was sure I was awake and leaning back into the driver seat. "James is gone…"<p>

"Yes" I breathed gulping a little and feeling the trauma knocking me over fully when I was finally lucid, Jasper keeping it away had made it worse, caused it to marinade and merge with my fears of old… it wasn't just the red eyed man now, it was James; whether he was gone in sickly sweet ashes or floating through the air in particles… he now lived in my mind, in the compartment reserved for fear…

"I feared the worst…" he whispered touching my wrist and I realised I was rubbing the already scabbing scar of James teeth.

"I feared you were _turned_" Edward murmured pained "I feared I had… failed. Do you understand now… why it is I am selfish? Why it is I should leave you…"  
>"No!" I hissed, shaking my head vehemently "You aren't leaving…!"<p>

"I should Danishka" he whispered "I am unnatural to you and the only end result I can bring to your life is death"  
>"I didn't die!" I begged, pushing my wrist to his face-willing him to look at the supernaturally healing wound. "The venom burned up… I am human… you can't leave…!"<p>

"Don't you understand" Edward begged, turning my wrist over and bringing it to his cheek. "I am pulling you into this unnatural world Danishka"  
>"No" I stated my chest heaving and throat dry. "You aren't leaving…"<br>"I should"  
>"Your idea of right and wrong is too narrow, Edward" I snapped angrily. "A little bite and you want to run off…"<br>"A little _bite?_" he hissed. "You didn't know what would happen if he bit you… if you were contaminated by venom. I thought for a moment you were succumbing to it, Danishka. How would I live with myself knowing I had brought you to the doors of immortal evil… and allowed for you to be kidnapped through them!"  
>"You think leaving me would save me…?" I whispered, looking at the house-my house were Cindy had either left the light of the living room on or was waiting for me impatiently.<p>

"I think it would save you… yes" he whispered

"If it wasn't James…" I breathed difficultly, the name sending shivers up my spine "It would have been some one else, I t would have been the man with the red eyes from my nightmares…"

"Danii" he murmured closing his eyes.

"Say you will stay?" I begged, touching his face slowly. "Stay with me… Edward?"  
>"I was never able to leave" he whispered. "I don't know if that makes me strong or weak"<p>

"It makes you human?" I murmured and he laughed.

"She is asleep on the couch" he sighed, his eyes closed and skin cool under my touch. "I am not sure if you want her to know…"  
>"No, there is no point in her knowing anything" I breathed "I have no battle scars… and… it's late." <p>

My phone rang softly, the sound shocking us out of our cocoon of recovering peace.

"Hello?" I murmured.

"I'll do it" Alice chirped. "Tell him to leave the keys on the tier…"

"Huh?"

"Just tell him Danishka" Alice whispered "And goodnight…"

I looked at Edward, knowing he had heard and he shrugged.

"She can be very _strange_" he sighed-the worry that had been on his face moments before leaving slowly and replaced with an almost tired look. "We'll… I can guarantee getting you to your room with maximum stealth"  
>"That would be great" I sighed.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

"Won't you stay?" she asked softly, turning on her heels and facing me, her eyes large-too large and dark.

Was there anything I wouldn't do at this point… staying felt like the ultimate gift she could award me, a boon I was unworthy of after nearly costing her so much. If her own uniqueness hadn't stopped the venom and healed the wound she would have either died from blood loss or died and awoken to a soulless living death…

"Please stay Edward" she asked again softly.

"Of course" I breathed and she sighed in relief-never ounce realising that staying with her was all I wanted now. Forever… selfishly and dangerously….

"Maybe get into something warm…?" I suggested, turning away from her and going over to inspect her giant teddy bear that managed to capture my scent for her-going over to it to keep it smelling of me for her.

She sighed, shuffling over the carpet and going to her drawer before stumbling into her bathroom, muttering about homework and being grounded for being out so late. Politely, I turned her little stereo on as she showered, filling the little room with a soft melodious voice of some famous pop artist that was easily not her taste. It must be her sister's album then…

I heard Alice's soft footfalls, her little feet pushing against the bark of the tree by Danishka's window and in seconds she was in the room clutching a bundle of clothes for me.

"I thought you might not want to miss a second…" she whispered smiling softly. "She likes this colour on you… or she will… I think…"

"I don't want to worry about the future Alice" I whispered behind the music, not risking speaking any louder in case Danishka's senses were still running on adrenaline.

"I understand… the present is what matters in the end" she breathed, jumping swiftly out the window and in seconds the Volvo purred to life and spun out the drive way.

The present is what matters, I had learnt that instantly when Danishka had begun convulsing and slipping away and when she had woken still human-the present was a gift…

If I could pray, if I had a soul to pray from and be heard; I would thank God for her, my sister Alice…

"I am done" Danishka announced, opening the door simultaneously "I guess…"

"I don't sleep, for the thousandth time" I sighed, going over to her bed and pushing the covers open. "Jump in…"

She rushed to the bed, curling under the covers and watching my face intently-with a serious expression marred by a slight anxiousness.

"You wont leave?" she asked softly and then said in a stronger tone "You are not to leave, Edward"  
>"I wont leave" I murmured, sitting on the edge of her bed carefully.<p>

"Good" she sighed.

"Are you thirsty?" I asked her and she froze before grumbling something that translated to yes.

"It has never happened like this" she whispered breathily, the medicine Carlisle gave her taking its tall on her mind as she tried to fight the sleep away and her own lingering horrors at the violence I had revealed of myself tiring her. "This thirst and… the pain and senses overload"  
>"Hmm" I murmured, listening to her steadying heart beat.<p>

"When I crave blood…" she whispered-half asleep and half miserable "Its… physically draining…"

"It would be" I said softly "A hunger that rules vampires contained in your impossibly human body…"

"Maybe you are right when you say it isn't as intense as with vampires" she sighed.

"Of course I am _right_" I said sharply-my anger readily prickled at any notion she gave that she could be a monster. "What you feel… multiply it a thousand times in a vampire… you can manage this. We can contain it and then rid it. It is some sort of affliction…"

"I don't eat when I… when I am _thirsty_" she sighed. "My stomach is picky as it is and then I fear that one day I'll do something _dreaded_…"

"You won't _ever_ get to that, Danishka" I said with conviction and she sighed under the blankets and in moments, I heard her moist breathing as she cried carefully, trying to keep her breathing steady but failing in little hitches...

"Danishka?" I whispered, leaning over her form and tugging at the blankets. "Don't…"

With little thought to the action, distraught by her pain and the terror James had realised in me of what it would be like to love a mortal in a world secretly ruled by immortals-I pulled her out of her blankets, wrapping her in a patchy quilt and held her carefully against my stone cold body.

"I won't leave" I murmured. "_We'll_ figure this out… I am… _your_ friend, for always… If you'll have me"

"You'll stay with me then…?" she whispered in a semi-conscious state.

"Forever"

So I stayed; how simple a gesture to be a friend _only_-it could be supposed although the intensity of the emotion riveting through me in that moment and charging my dead heart with the voltage of a previously unknown power caused me to remain _forever_ in this _love_ for her instead.

My only consolation being I managed to control this love for now, and be her _friend_. Alice's vision's had to be pushed away… I had to keep her safe from my _self_ as well. From this love that she wasn't aware of yet, I had to keep it far from her… and allow her a life. That would truly be atonement for being unable to leave her and keep her safe.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**This chapter was a rollercoaster ride. I didn't want to dwell on the whole James thing for long and draw it out because I didn't think it was necessary basically, except to introduce the whole twilight, new moon and eclipse plot into this. And I will say it again, it's alternate universe but contained within the twilight universe… so it has to maintain the twilight feel somewhat. **

**Responses to pm's and such**

**_Danishka and Edward's romance is deliberately slow_… if you have read any of my other stories you will know I am big on taking romance slow so it can be strong-but of course not painfully slow. So be patient. **

**Uh, I do state that Danishka is black from the get go-it's done so in Edward's whole poetic way when he describes her skin as (earth tone, cocoa, umber…) amongst other descriptions. There is a valid reason for her ethnicity-hint hint (if you know your twilight history and facts well enough you'll guess this).**

**Till next time, don't forget to review likes dislikes and suggestions**

**Tj **


	13. Birthday Plans

It seemed time merged with my joy, it seemed the world around us blurred as Edward and I moved through life and _living_ in our new found and precious friendship. It was forever, he promised… as long as I could breathe-he would whisper when I still had doubts, when I still expected to find myself alone. Waking up from this dream I had borrowed from someone, waking up once more in fear of a strange dark man I had no memory of ever meeting-waking up to a merciless malicious thirst that coaxed my soul to turn to a _dark side_…

Fears gone and lost through Edward…

Xx~xx~xX

**DANISHKA NEBARI**

"Your birthday is coming up"

Argh. I had thought I had been stealthy about the _accursed_ day, but Alice being _Alice_ knew _everything._ She could be just as bad as Edward-who held the _know-it-all_ title. We were in the cafeteria at lunch; waiting for the rest of the Cullen's to arrive. Alice was possibly my best friend after Edward but she could be extremely annoying in her ruthlessness at all things fashion and event orientated.

"Are you trying to ignore me?" her musical voice asked in amusement. "A birthday party _will _happen, Danishka... whether you want it or not"

"Is she bullying you" Edward's clear-honey voice whispered in my ear-my eyes shut safely from the view of his glorious face. I held still, willing every ounce of self control I had over my body to _not_ shudder as he skipped to my side and pulled the chair out. "I can save you, if you want"

"That won't be necessary today" I said, the air in my lungs coming out in a whoosh.

He sat beside me fluidly and placed his food tray in front of him. He was never going to eat it and I knew as was procedure since I started sitting with him and his siblings, he would try and get me to eat whatever he picked. It bothered him to no end that I had a _limited_ appetite.

"If she doesn't want to do something then we won't, Alice" he said to his favourite sister with finality. Alice immediately went into pout mode and looked at me accusingly. I caved.

"If it's something small..." I began

"Settled, I can already see what it will look like..." she said, her eyes glazing over as she caught glimpses of the future. My future. It made me uneasy when she did that, I felt a bit violated... as though she had just seen me naked before I knew I had no clothes on.

"We have to go to Carlisle's office after school" Edward murmured.

Jasper arrived, kissing Alice swiftly on the lips and plonking his food tray distastefully in front of him. I grinned knowingly at him and he grinned back. Jasper hated the food props and had more difficulty with the 'vegetarian diet' the Cullen's went by. I knew all too well what it felt like to eat something you didn't like, everyday...

"Yes?" I whispered to Edward although I knew the two vampires sitting opposite us could hear perfectly. They were currently whispering their own things to each other though.

"I promised you..." he sighed. He hadn't wanted me to worry about my DNA, he didn't want me to be concerned of what chromosome count I had but _I was_. We had argued about it and he had finally caved and allowed me to go to Carlisle.

"I _need _to know, how else will we know how to treat it?" I said, looking into his earthly gold eyes.

"Yes... logic." He nudged his head against mine and held my hand briefly. My heart went into over drive and my skin crawled with a familiar heat even though his touch was ice cold.

"Ed-edward, where are Rosalie and Emmett?" I said, to distract my heart from analysing his friendly touch.

He moved away, smiling apologetically and shrugged. The twinkle in his eye told me he knew where they were but the coy crooked smile told me I didn't necessarily want to know. He stared at my hand-the one he had been holding - for a second before he looked away sadly. I didn't understand it but I summed it down to his yearning for being warm sometimes. I never really asked him about his sudden little 'touches'. He never was touchy feely but in rare instances, small miniscule moments... he would brush his hand with mine, let me hold his for support if I was about to fall... and it would be like we were the only two people left in the world.

"Emmett and Rosalie won't be joining us for lunch today" Alice said ominously.

I giggled. They never ate lunch so technically Emmett and Rose had _never _joined us for lunch.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Edward whispered a slight smile on his breathtaking face. When he had turned, he moved closer and his face impossibly close to my own, his cool breath fanning my face as he spoke..

"Huh?" I blinked twice and I was sure my face had gone blank.

"Did I just do that _thing?_" he asked, his eyes twinkling. I nodded dumbly and then shook my head to clear it of his intoxicating scent.

"I was just thinking that Rose and Emmett have never _actually_ had lunch with us, per say"

He chuckled lightly, his eyes intent on my face and shook his head.

"Only _you_" he said, his side smile in place. "Do you mind getting to Biology early today?"

"No" dumb question, as long as I had extra time with him I would _never _mind.

We got up, his hand reaching for my bag and I frowned. We always had this fight; him being overly chivalrous and my not letting him do what 'Came naturally to Cullen men'. He didn't seem to understand that him taking my bag meant a totally different thing to everyone else.

"Oh, come on... I don't have a bag today" he said, grinning and swinging my bag easily over his shoulder.

"Where is your bag, anyway?"

"I left it at home" he said, peering at me from his height as we moved slowly through the corridor.

"So where are your books?" I asked.

"I forgot them" he said, smiling impishly. "It's not like there is anything in the lesson I'll miss or that will give my vast medical knowledge uplift."

I would have let it slide even with the cockiness but that one statement '_I forgot them' _prickled my suspicions. Vampires never forgot.

"So, where did you _forget_ them, hmm" I cocked my head up at him and pursed my lips to keep from smiling. I knew this game, Edward and I played it often; the can-you-guess-the-vampire-lie game? Edward usually did it when he was hiding something, Alice to get me to do whatever she wanted and Rosalie to remind me of how much she _loathed _me.

"On the kitchen counter" he said, opening the classroom door for me. Stupid Elizabethan vampire gentlemanliness...

"Was that before or after breakfast?"

"After, of course" he was grinning unashamedly as he pulled my stool for me. I sat down with a huff. We were the only two people in class as yet.

"So, what was for breakfast?" I asked him sweetly and fluttered my eyelashes.

"Baked beans" he said huskily, his gold eyes going dark as though he were in a trance. Baked beans had never sounded sexier...

"You sure it wasn't Bambi?" I whispered, in an empty classroom. My voice just wouldn't carry as he stared relentlessly into my eyes.

"Not Bambi, today, I'm afraid" he said apologetically but his eyes said something different. They were speaking of a story that the both of us didn't understand. We stared into each other's eyes for what seemed eons before Edward looked away briefly, and then looked back at me sheepishly. In the silence, I was sure he could hear my heart threatening to escape my chest and find solace in his smooth marble hands.

"You know I _always_ win" he sighed, smiling softly at me.

"Only because I let you" my voice was shaky. He laughed.

"I doubt that" he sighed again. "It seems... when I dazzle you, your mind stops functioning"

I blushed, smiling and looking at everything but his intense gaze. He hated it when I let my hormones succumb to his vampire nature. He wanted me to fight it because he was scared that one day it would lead to something _unfortunate_.

"If I dazzled you, you would do the same" I said shyly.

"What makes you think you don't dazzle me?" he looked shocked-genuinely.

"If I did, I _would _get my way"

"The way your mind works!" he sighed. "Do you think you don't get your way Danishka, are you not going to see Carlisle...?"

"That's different, that was because I had to beg you"

"A dazzled vampire is a dangerous one to you... isn't it bad enough that I am captivated..." he stopped abruptly, and looked at me apologetically again. But this time with sincere earnest. "I always say too much when I'm with you"

"Some more cryptic statements I will _never_ be able to decipher"

"Don't be like that Danii..."he whispered. Whenever he called me by my nickname, he said it exactly right and with his voice... I'd always do whatever he wanted.

"So, you had baked beans for breakfast and forgot your bag on the kitchen counter?" I smirked at him, laughing internally at the ridiculousness of his too normal story.

"I left my bag because I only planned on coming for Biology to be with you" my heart squeezed at this revelation "and brought one book"

"Well, where is the book?"

"In your back pack" he said, smiling shyly. Edward… shy…

I laughed and he looked at me timidly again. His eyes taking on openness I had never seen.

"Wait, you weren't being sarcastic" I said, catching my breath.

"No"

"But how...?"

"Last night..." he watched my hand trace invisible circles on the table top instead of my face. "When you were asleep."

"You left before I went to sleep"

"I came back..."he sighed, looking at me finally and the depth and vulnerability I saw on his immortal face staggered me. "Watching you sleep... it _enthrals_ me."

My heart hammered away and my palms went sweaty. Edward had been in my room during the night, while I was asleep in my craggy t-shirt and skimpy boy-shorts. He had watched me... sleep. I sucked in a breath and my cheeks heated up.

"I couldn't help it; you say my name when you sleep."

"What?" I hissed. "What else do I say?"

"Wait, you're not mad I stayed in your room?" he asked, a glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes. "The first night... I came to check on you, you called for me, you were dreaming"

"What, no I'm not angry?" it came out as a question. Should I be mad that a teenage vampire boy likes to watch me sleep? I think so, but strangely I wasn't. I was more embarrassed by what else he had heard... "I think, do you _think _I should be mad?"

"I'm not sure" he answered me truthfully. "If it helps, I am more or less watching you with the intention of keeping you _safe_"

I shuddered, remembering James and Victoria and their red eyes. James's sneer and glimmering white teeth. James who had now replaced my dark vampire in my dreams... he had stayed that one night when I had confessed my sad life, but I had asked him to.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure I don't mind"

He smiled at me and looked towards the door before placing his book in front of him. When had he gotten the book out? Stupid super human speed... Mike and Jessica walked in giggling and flirting. They stopped dead in their tracks when the noticed us, shock and suspicion written all over their faces.

"Texas" Mike greeted and nodded curtly at Edward.

"Mike, how are you?" Edward asked, pleasantly.

I tried to keep my mouth from curving upwards. This was one of Edward's pass times, messing with Mike's mind. He would be extremely pleasant and accommodating to Mike one day and surprise him the next by giving a vampire death glare. I didn't know what that was about and he wouldn't tell me when I asked. He enjoyed it to no end though...

"Uh, me?" asked Mike dumbly, his eyes bulging considerably. "I-uhm, I'm fine"

"Good, that's good" Edward said, smiling widely and showing his razor sharp gleaming teeth. Mike high tailed away from us and to his table. By now most of the class had entered. I noted that Edwards smile, that I found dazzling and stunning... Mike found scary.

"You look thoughtful" Edward mused, placing my own books carefully in front of me. "Then again, when _don't_ you"

"Bella how was your weekend?" I said, ignoring and irritating him by talking to Bella. She turned around, fanning her hair at Edward's face in a flirtatious manner. I giggled a little; if she only knew what _Edward _though about _that _action!

"It was okay, I went to Jacksonville to visit my mother" she smiled at me before blushing for Edward. "And you, Edward?"

"I spent it helping out at Forks Hospital" he said dryly.

"And you Danii" Bell asked her voice shaky after Edwards rigidness.

"She was with me" Edward answered for me, his gaze meeting my surprised stare. "We had better be quiet; Mr Crowley is in a foul mood today"

Bella whipped around and made a huge commotion of getting her books ready, huffing and sighing loudly the entire time. Mr Crowley entered, his usually pleasant bright face a beetroot red and a scowl on his face that made him look like Shrek.

"He looks like a red Shrek" I said under my breath, almost to myself but of course… my vampire best friend heard my every word.

He chuckled, shaking his head and glancing at me. I returned his smile eagerly. Biology would always be my favourite lesson.

Xx~xx~xX

X

**EDWARD CULLEN**

She always complained about gym, hating anything to do with hand-eye-coordination with little consideration to any potential enjoyment the activity could give her and I gathered a little too ecstatically that she hated anything that would separate us even if it was for an hour. I watched her down bellow on the playing field, sulking…

She pulled her fingers through her thick black hair slowly, almost thoughtfully and her small pink tongue darted out coyly between her lips, moistening them slightly before she finished the innocently sin inducing ritual by biting on the lower lip. She gnawed on it sensually and I thought she would bruise it. I watched as the soft sensitive skin of her lips yielded willingly to her white teeth. The contrast of the white to the supple brown and the resilient teeth to the silk velvety skin... like my own white _hard_ skin and her brown rich _soft _one.

She was torturing me. The monster in me growled and purred like a complacent lion. I had learnt to tear my eyes away from her sultry movements or electric-deriving eyes in the right and most crucial moments. I couldn't risk _purring_ like I had done once, when I had been watching her sleep-tossing, turning and _moaning _... I was one _sick _vampire.

She stumbled forward, missing her footing and fell on the hard laminated wood, barely breaking the fall with her outstretched arms. I groaned, angered at the humans around us, stopping me from being able to catch her. She got up sheepishly, looking at Bella who smiled at her supportively... patting her on the back and rubbing her arm. The soft brown skin on her outer-arm was bruised and had a red noticeable tint to it. Argh, she really shouldn't be playing volley ball. Isabella already knew how clumsy Danishka was so why she had chosen Danishka to play in her team was besides me.

"You are scaring the children with your relentless scowling, _Edward_" whispered Alice. She was seated a metre away from me, looking on at the match amusedly. She thought Danii's movements were hilarious-it was as if she was trying to move in two different directions simultaneously she thought.

I growled at her thoughts and she rolled her eyes.

_Good God, she is funny...what do you want me to do? Ignore the fact that she moves like a spastic turtle? She is my friend too…_

"Well, then try and be supportive" I sighed. "...she doesn't like _certain_ things so let's not manipulate her into doing them"

_She loves spending time with us too, you know. You get her alone in her room and we get her at the house for a birthday bash! How long has it been since we celebrated someone's birthday...forty years?_

She smiled thoughtfully, knowing that I wouldn't go further with the discussion after the little quip about me having her alone in her room. Alice was determined that I push for more than friendship with Danii. In actual fact, my whole family was terrorizing me about it...well, except Rosalie _naturally_. Rose constantly reminded me about the danger I had put the family in by bringing Danishka into our fold.

I watched as the object of my affection, the striking ethereal beauty, threw the ball to her left although she was looking straight ahead. The ball hit the back of Mike Newton's head with a thump. I grinned unashamedly.

_Oh gosh, what the fuck! _ He screamed in his mind, rubbing the back of his head furiously. _I swear girls should not play..._

"I am so sorry Mike" Danishka pleaded, her hand reaching up for Mike's stupid head. I growled.

Alice was snickering on my left and bellow me three alarmed students moved further away. I watched as Mike, realising that the volley-ball wielding girl was Danishka smiled slyly. He spun around to face her and pinched his pink mouth in false pain.

"I told them not to let me play Mike, but Bella insisted and well, I kind of owe her..."she rambled, her hand still floating over Mike's inflated head. He bent his legs slightly so she could reach.

"Yeah, you got quite the arm Texas, I think you gave me a concussion" he said smoothly. I'd like to give his soft head a _concussion_...

I watched in fury as her small thin fingers went through his brown hair gingerly and then began massaging gently, looking for bumps that were not there. He smiled at her and she returned his smile shyly.

"I think everything is, uh okay Mike" she said, backing away from him and wiping her hand she had used to check for a fictional concussion on her pants.

"Yeah, it is" he grinned at her.

"Danii, I got the ball and Mike is _fine_... can we get back to playing?" snapped Jessica, her face red. Jessica, I was never more grateful that you shared the same thoughts when it came to Mike and Danishka... together.

_She is still so hot, maybe not like Isabella… but I guess in a sort of curvy way, I can handle curves… Jessica has curves… too bad I can never get in on Danishka thanks to _Cullen…

A violent wave of rage coursed through me, eager and directed solely on Mike. The boy had no idea how seriously endangered his pathetic inconsequential life was.

_If you would just tell her how you feel, you wouldn't have to endure this uncertainty... _Alice simply refused to understand my standing in the matter.

"She doesn't _need_ that; she doesn't _feel_ like that naturally-its my vampire nature... besides, your own visions are uncertain with that!" I hissed, putting my hands over my face. I hated that they were hard and cold. I hated that my skin was not yielding and my purplish ashy lips would never be pink like Mike Newton's...

"Edward looks upset about something" Bella Swan whispered to someone. I looked up and met her curios gaze and her face went into a bright pink blush. My gaze slid to the person on her left and Danishka frowned when I met her steely blue gaze. Why couldn't she feel for me like Isabella?

The bell rang and most of the P. E class moved to the changing rooms. Alice skipped toward me, her thoughts irritatingly smug and gleeful that I wasn't handling my "friendship" with Danishka as best as I swore I could.

"She likes you more than she has ever liked anyone in her life" she whispered, doing her trademark ballerina trail out of the gymnasium. "I mean, guaranteed it's not very _romantic_ yet, but you could _make it"_

"I'm not using my nature against her" I snapped.

"Then endure all the human males vying for her, and sure enough when she gets over her _affliction_... she will start to pay attention"

"Shut up, you know-it-all pixie" I muttered.

"Said the telepathic deprived vampire" she sung, twirling away to her art class with Jasper.

I frowned, my mood made foul by the inconceivable Mike Newton and the ominous Alice Cullen. I was done with classes after enduring hell by the tenth fold in P.E. Emmett would have to endure Spanish alone today, I had to go hunt.

Xx~xx~xX

Running swiftly through the woods, my feet coursing with the infinite energy of immortality, I found I was not looking forward to hunting. The forest was still, the thickly knit woods forming a barrier between the ground and the sun and I imagined it would be cool. The flush green growth around me did little to dispel the melancholy that was taking over me.

The forest was quiet but I caught the scent of a mountain lion. I stood still under an enormous red wood, the shade from it keeping me hidden. I was certain the lion would come back through this way. I would wait and then stalk it before ending things swiftly. I wouldn't enjoy this kill today.

I had to get back to Danishka, she would want to talk about her day and I would _need _to be near her. How difficult it was to deny myself her, to be away...to do the right thing. She needed me as a confidant, a friend and nothing more. I am close to a century old, a vampire and perversely interested in her. I should not have stayed that dreadfully damned night after murdering James, the memory of it engraved in my mind naturally and the possibility of it ever _fading_ was not elective to my being.

The nagging _hunger _that had awoken on me and I had no recollection or set time from when it had begun but I failed each day to hide it from myself. It was the new residing monster in me. It lived right next to the monster I had especially reserved for Isabella Swan's blood.

Here, in the woods, awaiting a meal I could not savour-I realised how Danishka had awoken a human side of me that had been dormant for too long. I had never really been a man in the sense of experience in my human life and those lingering... unaccomplished desires, they raged inside of me with the force of immortality. They were belligerent in a torrent of heady _want_, all thanks to her fragrance and eyes. Her lips and hair. Her skin... so soft...

I smelt the lion before I heard it, an unappetizing aroma that was more bearable than elk. It had just hunted, adrenaline was probably still coursing through its veins, making it all the more bearable, less unsavoury . I sprang from my post under the cool shade of the redwood, like an arrow from a bow-and caught the unsuspecting cat in steel hands, whisking it from the shrubbery it had been about to rest in and held it to my body. It scrabbled uselessly, its ivory claws felt like feather tips against my unyielding skin. Its harsh, ruthlessly desperate swipes at my face might as well have been soft fingers caressing my cheek.

I turned its head, exposing the thick neck and the desired jugular and brought my lips swiftly to it, in a lover's lethal kiss. The hot blood pooled in my mouth as soon as my teeth sliced swiftly through the skin, satiating at least one of my monsters in less than ten minutes. The carcass was dry and stiff by my feet, lifeless predatory eyes staring at the sky in shock.

I could go to her now.

**DANISHKA**

"Its just you guys right?" I asked a third time, staring intently at Edward's still frame by my window. He wouldn't come closer unless I coaxed him. It was some times frustrating how wide the perimeters he set between us were.

We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, but just because he had super hearing didn't mean he had to stand across the room from me! He could sit by the edge of my bed for Pete's sake...

"Why are you frowning" he asked, his clear voice cutting effortlessly through he space he had set between us. He hated not knowing things...

"Wouldn't you like to know "I sighed, throwing myself theatrically down on my bed. I sighed again, and huffed unnecessarily-all things that would make his curiosity go into overdrive.

"Danishka" he reprimanded. It was a bad thing when I didn't tell him what he wanted to know, when he wanted to know it.

"Edward" I huffed.

"What is it?" he asked. I could see that his head was turned to me, but he was in the shadows in that stupid corner, his expression lost to me.

"Why are you so far away?" I asked, my hand reaching for him on it's own accord.

"Its... cold" he sighed, moving a little into the light. I smiled at him when I saw his golden honey eyes finally, patient and guarded.

"You're cold?" I smiled patiently at him.

"No, but you will be if I'm too close" he smiled back, sadly.

'Edward, I own a few jersey's... besides, you can sit at the edge of me bed. Like you always do, after I ask you to in this very similar dialogue"

He sat at the edge of the bed rigidly.

"So tomorrow is the big day" I sighed, watching him loosen up slowly. It was decidedly difficult to notice Edward's shifts in mood-unless he hadn't fed and then he would most certainly be grumpy smurf-but I had watched him closely, especially when my sight was superiorly inhuman.

"Yes, just remember" he said, leaning back slowly on my bed until he was flat on his back, his arms folded behind his head "There hasn't been a birthday party in forty years, so they may be a little excited. Be a good sport"

"I always am" I huffed, attempting to throw a pillow at his grinning face, but he caught it easily, and flung it nonchalantly back. It hit me square in the face and I giggled at my own surprise.

"You weren't a good sport about driving my car to the forest edge, that day I showed you what I looked like in the sun" he said wispily. "You remember, in the meadow?"

"Of course I remember" I said softly.

"They bought you gifts" he announced of hand. He had snuck in the memory to deflate any potential anger, _sneaky telepath._

"I told Alice not to" I said curtly "I trusted her to respect my wishes"

"You can't trust a vampire Danishka" he said smiling. "Trust me"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**A bit saddened by the lack of response **

**Anyhow, hoping you do review if you are enjoying this or if you have a query or dislike and I LOVE suggestions…**

**I don't want to linger on all the twilight plotlines for long, I intend on moving things in a very diverging path after we cover Eclipse so there basically won't be a breaking-dawn-esque plot line. **

**So yes, we are moving pretty fast...**


	14. Morbid Festivities

**DANIHSKA NEBARI**

**MORBID FESTIVITIES**

Fewer things surprise me than my past; or lack there of.

I know where I am from only because I was told these things, I know the person I am supposed to be only because it was described to me and I know the family I _should _belong to because they are the ones whose faces I remember.

Everything else is a blur… I suppose I shouldn't complain or wonder so much about it; I am sure I am not the only human being on this planet who can't really remember anything of their life from the age of five. I am sure I am not the only being on this planet who doubts the stories of their origins; who doubts the name given to them, the person who is supposed to be their mother and their whole family.

So I have doubts, but one thing I know is Pangra Nebari is the only constant being in my life. Until she moved me to Texas, of course-with Hector, Cindy's dad or _then_ apparently my dad but then I saw huge family feud I saw coming miles away. My mother-Cindy and me's mother-is a mystery. A woman who left her two daughters scattered.

Pangra Nebari-my Grandmother was coming to Fork's for my seventeenth birthday. She was coming to America from some little village in South America she had been living in for three years now. My _Pangra…_

"You're excited" Cindy chuckled. She never really knew Grandma like I did. She never knew she even had a maternal grandmother 'till I arrived in Texas as her long lost sister.

"Yes" I smiled, folding the fresh linen "I am excited for that"  
>"You get to be spoiled by Grandma with all your favourite exotic dishes and then your boyfriend…"<p>

"Edward is a friend" I sighed.

"He doesn't look at you like he wants to be your friend" she snorted. "Heck, he looks at you like he I starving..."

"Stop teasing" I grumbled "We really are friends"  
>"Hmm, we can go with that for as long as you like sweetie" she giggled. "Now, I am going to go get Grandma and you prepare the room, okay?"<p>

"Right" I sighed. "And I'll remember to act surprised that she is here"  
>"Good girl" Cindy laughed, grabbing her keys and skipping to the door. "Oh, and you better let Edward know that it's considered an offence in Grandma's culture to refuse food…"<p>

"He doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to" I shouted after her, smiling when she paused to give me an indicative look.

She got in the car, smiling freely and drove out. Maybe today wouldn't be as bad as I predicted-maybe I should start trusting the talents of a true psychic instead…

"You need help with the bedding?" Edward murmured from behind me and I jumped, knocking back into him.

"Do you really have to make it a point to _scare_ me" I hissed and I he gave me his crooked cocky grin instead.

"I walked over here human slow, I'll have you know" he grinned, reaching for the cream sheets. "So you have a Grandma…?"  
>"I had her first…" I sighed, closing the door and following him up the stairs. "Before Cindy and my dad… well, I guess he isn't my <em>Dad<em> but he was for a while"  
>"This is <em>before<em> he demanded the DNA test"

"Mhmm" I murmured leaning on the frame of the guest bedroom door, watching as he spread the bed-meticulously-in a matter of seconds.

"And nothing strange came up on those tests?" he asked nonchalantly but I could feel the tenseness rolling of him at that revelation.

"Nothing except I wasn't his" I breathed falling on the perfectly made bed theatrically. "Where did you learn to make a bed if you don't have one yourself?"  
>"Funnily" he smiled, sitting next to me carefully. "I really don't know… I think maybe my mother, my human mother might have taught me and it stayed resilient in my subconscious"<br>"You're really good at it…" I grinned at him.

"Maybe I'll make your bed sometime" he chuckled. "If you manage to wake up before ten…"

Xx~xx~xX

"Grandma" I breathed watching as her old form hobbled out of the Mercedes, her face etched with lines of wisdom and experience. She smiled, standing somewhat upright and opened her arms out for me and I rushed to her, falling into her familiar scent and earthly tones.

"My baby" she murmured, her accent thick with the outline of many old countries were English was an optional thing to know.

"I missed you" I whispered by her ear, the words rushing out and the moment they were set free I could feel how true they were.

"Me miss you too, my child" she laughed, and I leaned away from our embrace to look at her. Her eyes were more deep set than ever, her skin lighter from being away from the sun but in her I still felt that vitality of old; as though she had no qualms about chasing after me to give me a beating if I had been mischievous.

"Well…"Cindy said nervously "This is our home"

"Puedo?" she murmured.

"Yes, of course… entrar en Grandma" I breathed, leading her slowly up our little pathway, her little body securely tucked to mine. "I have someone I would like you to meet…"  
>"Her boyfriend" Cindy snickered behind us, hauling her lumpy suitcase.<p>

"My friend" I sighed. "My extraordinario amigo, Grandma"

Xx~xx~xX

I guess I expected her to be shocked by Edward's appearance, but this….

"No" she stated, backing away slowly from the kitchen, her eyes turned away from Edward and I and she spun around to the living room, her little fists shaking. I looked up to Edward quickly and his expression was smoothed and controlled but his eyes gave away that he saw something…

She knew.

"She is old, Edward" Cindy murmured. "Don't take offence, I mean the whole uhm… vast difference between…"  
>"Seriously?" I snapped. "You're going with prejudice?"<p>

"She is old, Danii" Cindy said uneasily "She is like a hundred and something years old, and she probably remembers the ship she was brought on…"

"Oh, come of it" I snapped and I felt Edward's hand host over the small of my back, trying to calm me.

"Well…" Cindy pursed her thin lips and crossed her arms over her chest "Don't ruin your birthday on account of she doesn't approve of…"  
>"Just get the cake out" I breathed. I couldn't deal with her right now. What was on my mind, was the look on Grandma's face when Edward walked in, the way she didn't accept his hand when he offered it to her and more especially the way her eyes-wide and terrified-had slid to me and shocked me with their fear…<p>

She knew…

"It's okay" Edward whispered.

"She is going to leave" I breathed, my chest tightening. "I have…"

"Let's sing happy birthday!" Cindy called but Pangra didn't move from her still position on the couch. "Uh, Grandma can sing from in front of the television, then…"

She placed the white cake on top of the island carefully, it had blue icing drawn out as a seven and little orange flowers sprinkled around it. She was enjoying this more than I should have been, Cindy had sacrificed more to be here with me… she had saved me when her father denounced me on knowing I wasn't his, she had left with me… and this meant that she still had a semblance of a family and Grandma wouldn't comeback after this… If she knew, and I had no doubt she didn't… how many times had she told me of the old world of the supernatural in little tales I had never taken any heed of. How many strange little things had I done in her presence and she had quickly covered up…

"I bet the cake… uh, Alice bought is far superior" Cindy laughed "But this… this here… I spent hours working on"

"It's lovely Cindy" Edward murmured, giving her his dazzling smile and keeping her at least in the mood for festivities. "I really can't believe you baked it from scratch"  
>"Oh…" she blushed, lighting the candles. "Do you know she has never had a birthday celebration?"<br>"Really?" Edward breathed-acting just the right amount of shocked while I stood there staring at the back of my Grandmother's head.

"No, not at all…"Cindy yapped, spreading plates out and glaring at Edward to remind him he was to taste her cake "I am glad she is going over to your place for a party" 

And with that announcement, my Grandmother swore loudly-in Spanish and then in Portuguese before rising from her seat, shaking and eyes wide and bulging and stomping towards us… her little wrinkled finger pointed out accusingly at Edward in a string of fast ancient language-she ranted.

And ranted…

"Edward…" Cindy said quickly while I tried to calm her, but she shook my hands away from her vehemently. "Maybe… come pick her up in thirty minutes, I think this is too much excitement for her… my grandmother"

"Of course" he breathed, giving me one last sad apologetic look and walking out the door.

I was left to brave my Grandmother with Cindy and have her shake my world with long lost revelations.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

**MORBID FESTIVITIES**

"Did the visit go well?" Alice asked Danishka.

Danishka nodded a difficult smile on her face. Her features had begun to soften; the stress still etched on her previously smooth forehead and her eyes a hollow darkness. Alice caught all of these disruptions with acute awareness, her eyes fleeting to my own strained face for more elaborate information.

_What happened? Didn't her grandmother make it?_

I nodded once, answering her question silently. I was torn between wanting to know how far the Pangra had gone with her anger overriding fear rant…. And not wanting to know for the safety of the world I had built around Danishka. All of these things felt feeble and tinted with her silent hello and entrance into the Volvo, eyes distant…

"Everything is okay Alice, let's just enjoy the party. That's what the birthday girl wants" I said, pushing Alice forward.

_She does not want this little bash, why are these two idiots forcing her._

"Danishka" Rosalie greeted stonily. We followed her to the dining room, Danishka looking around at Alice's beautiful decorations with wide eyes.

"Do you like the flowers?"I asked.

"What are they?" she whispered, her hand reaching for my own. She never did that-hold my hand-and I was torn in two by the action. My worst side won and I let her grip my stony fingers with her dainty warm ones. She squeezed slightly and I felt the strength pulsing in the movement.

It was too strong for any normal human girl.

The old woman's words swam through my mind, her mental images of a wild forest with a little girl watching her from the shadows. The little girl telling her to run, to save herself… to never look back. Danishka's cherubic face with the too intelligent cobalt eyes.

How had she screened her memories from me? It would have helped Danishka a great deal if I knew of her past, if I knew of her grandmother's past and what had happened in that ancient jungle. The meaning of every thought I had managed to catch, every word that I had heard but all that was left was _chaos_.

"Danishka!" Esme greeted, capturing her in her cold loving embrace. _Edward, is she okay?_

I shrugged lightly, I may have been frowning to the tenor of my own thoughts to everyone else, but Esme knew it was the answer to her question. I didn't know. She looked a lot better than she had back in the car-her eyes a dark demented navy shade, her lips pursed in an unyielding line and her fingers merciless in her iron fists.

_Did you tell her of her Medical Report?_ Carlisle thought, squeezing Danishka in a comforting hug. I shook my head.

_Dude, this is a birthday, not a funeral. Liven up or I'll bite you. Where is Jasper when you need him!_

Almost as if Jasper possessed the telepathic talent instead of me, he materialized in the room and used his gift to stabilize the growing discomfort. He smiled at me, concluding that my discomfort was at the fact Danishka was now the same age as my self and going on a mortal journey to death.

"Let's go to the piano room!" Alice exclaimed, Jasper causing everyone to have a more excited emotion to the festivities. I wished for the day to end, so I could take Danishka home… so I could be sure that she was okay.

Xx~xx~xX

We had never needed to be fully satiated with Danishka-her scent was intoxicating, it was divine but it pulled on our vampire side in mild wisps once we had gotten used to it. He thought of her as my human obsession, he thought of her as a girl with wit and sadness swimming at the ready in her eyes… she was tolerable, he had no real dislike for her and possibly even a mild like…

"Jasper no" Carlisle murmured, reaching for my hand but I growled low and dangerous, inching in front of Danishka.

"Edward, I am fine" she muttered. "It's just a cut… its okay…" 

He growled at me, flailing in Emmett's arms, eyes wide and demented and from the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie pick up the knife that was _meant _to cut cake only and not her skin. He twisted, crazed and beyond reason in Emmett's grip and I snarled at him, snarled at his thoughts and my own twisting emotions as the smell of her blood sifted through the air and begged for me to turn around to her, the memory of Carlisle telling me her exposure to us was causing her this possibly and I had said it was only a theory-but it was, she shouldn't be in a house full of vampires…

My selfishness could have cost her life and Jasper's hold on his steady recovery from Maria…

"Take her home" Esme whispered from the door, unable to stand the call of Danishka's blood. "Take her home Edward…"  
>"Her wound is healing" Rosalie said coolly, her smugness controlling her blood lust and allowing her to go to Danishka and inspect the wound. "Take her home…"<p>

She flung Jasper off her, which was the only reason she was alive. I had been to slow to register her thoughts, my own mind caught up in her scent… she flung him off her, she shouldn't be flinging vampires of her… the old woman knew and she was right for not wanting me there, for not wanting her granddaughter here…

"Let me take you home" I breathed, straightening up.

"Okay" she whispered, looking at me terrified, terrified by the coldness I was overcome with. "Will you stay…?"

"I might have to come back and help…" I said, the words burning my throat as I led her out "Help clean up"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH DANISHKA'S PERSPECTIVE… uh, sorry. Next chapter will not feature Edward, not really. It's new moon after all…**

**And as usual: suggestions, disliked, likes and loves. About the romance-we approach it very soon-next chapter's are really new moon and you know that means a lack of Edward, but I might put in what he is up to behind the scenes if it interests you.**


	15. A Week Till You End

There is no true happiness in immortality-not for the ones cursed to walk the earth forever, alone. This had to end, I had to end this-I had to _destroy_.

"It's a theory Edward" Carlisle murmured sadly. "It's only a theory…"

"It makes sense" I whispered. "She was… getting worse. She hadn't eaten at all"

"I am _so_ sorry" he sighed. "I am so sorry this has fallen to you"

"Of course" I breathed, trying to smile but grimacing instead.

"Make it clean" he whispered, leaving the woods to return to our family, to announce our move.

"We make her crave blood" I murmured. "My presence infects her; it's unnatural and whatever ailment she has is heightened by my involvement"

"Make it clean" I chanted, moving towards her house. "Save her before I damn her. Make it clean…"

Xx~xx~xX

X

**EDWARD CULLEN**

**DEMISE**

"Take a walk with me, Danishka" I commanded, my voice hollow and alien.

_You have to let her go, you have to let her live _I chanted in my mind while my dead heart cried out pathetically against my torturous resolution.

We were in her back yard, by the edge of the forest I always came through when visiting her. We could take a walk through there, away from prying eyes and loud memories. Just a few feet into the forest...

She followed me, her eyes wary and her lips set in a cautious line. She looked me over and I realized I was still in the suit I had worn for her birthday. My mind had not been concerned of trivial practical things for the past thirty-six hours. My mind had been concerned about nothing more than the oncoming mental and emotion suicide I had to perform to keep her alive.

The forest was cool, I was sure.

"You should have worn a jersey" I said monotonously.

"I could just wear your jacket?" she asked, her arms coming over her body, trying to contain the heat.

I couldn't leave her with anything that reminded her of me, anything that suggested I once was in her life... I had to be spectre. A distant unrecalled memory and hopefully with time, I would fade. All natural things faded with time... except us blighted immortals.

I ignored her request painfully. It felt unnatural denying her anything at this point when I owed her so much-had I not found a lost happiness in her? But I had also shown up and introduced her to the world of _thirst.._.

"We are leaving" I said, my voice surprisingly calm.

"...huh?" her eyes were wide, the innocent incomprehension too endearing-to painful.

"My family and I" I stressed on the exclusivity of it "we have to live. Carlisle is becoming noticeable; his age is put in question"

"No it's not" she said stubbornly, a crease forming between her full dark brows. "He can push for another year"

"Danishka, he is physically twenty three and he passed for a twenty eight year old" I watched as the shock fleeted across her face at the revelation of Carlisle's biological age "and there is no way we can push for thirty"

"Oh" she said simply, her eyes darting from left to right in a frantic panic. "So, I'll come and visit you... you aren't going to far are you?"

"No"

"Oh, great. Is it a town a few hours out of Forks?" she asked; hope spreading over her delicately prominent features.

"I meant you cannot come visit us. You won't know where we are and we won't ever come back to Forks" I said dryly.

"Why Edward" she gasped, attacking her hair in disbelief, her eyes wide and frenzied. I turned away cowardly, unable to witness my destruction.

"Because Carlisle..." I began.

"No..." she hissed, her fists balled up and her eyes flashing. My kitten-tiger... "This is about Jasper, Edward... that was nothing"

"Nothing" I stated the memory of the cursed evening so fresh and painful in my mind. It would never fade away. "How right you are. Nothing but all that I had feared"

"What? You can't mean that. No one saw that happening, not even Alice. It was an accident, a stupid inconsequential accident..." she ranted, flailing her arms violently in the air, her breath forming cool clouds as she spoke so rapidly.

"That accident almost cost you your life" I stated, my voice sounding desiccated. "You would have died there..."

"If I hadn't managed to fling him off of me?" she said manically. "You saw... "

"For a second" I hissed, forgetting that I was supposed to be disconnected. "You have no control over the things you do, what if in that instant no superior strength was present but only inhuman eyesight? Then all you would have been able to do was _see _your death come hurtling towards you in a frenzied hunger!"  
>She retreated back as though I had slapped her, her wide dark eyes in adamant denial. Why couldn't she just accept so this would be easier and stop me from hoping her ignorance and stubbornness would keep me rooted to her side and defy my resolution and promise to my family?<p>

"But... you stopped him" she said softly.

"Should I be there every time you are endangered? More so when the reasons you are always in harm's way are because of my very presence?" I hissed, it was easier to mask my grievance and distress in anger. It was easier to hide the fissures of my being in an ironic mask of disapproval.

"And these things you do..."I began, regaining my detachment. She stared at my cold form with a broken longing... her lip quivering and her eyes glassy. This wasn't what I was used to. She never gave up, she always wanted her way...

"My talents?" she whispered. She loved the idea that she had 'talents' and 'gifts'. She loved it and hated it. She embraced it and ran away in terror...

"I'm the cause of it Danishka, the thirst and everything..." I said softly. The truth of the words made me rigid with guilt.

"It doesn't _matter..._" she said, her voice coming out in raspy tones. She had never looked so breakable... "You are the first person I've ever..."

"I am not a person" I said coldly. This life I had stolen from a more deserving mortal "We are not of the same _species..._"

"I am a species upon myself, are you suggesting I be alone, then?" she screamed, her fluctuating emotions evident in those deep purple saucers.

"You are human, this _thing..._ it can be avoided" I hissed. "It can be avoided if I let you be!"

"Edward, what happened...with Jasper... that's nothing" she repeated, scanning my face. I looked away completely

"Do you not _understand?"_ I hissed, jolting forward, anger seeping through every crevice of my marble dead body. "It is nothing compared to what could happen next time!"

"Don't do this to us..." she said pathetically. How had I managed this apathy? No, I had not... I had walked into a living nightmare. Those words sounded like the key to unbind these shackles._ Us._

"Us?" I asked, acting the menacingly wicked villain.

"You know what I _mean_, our friendship" she said, struggling for breath, her eyes turning away from me.

"There is no friendship Danishka, there never was"

I had never felt more cold and alone. If I had any hope of containing a soul in this corrupt form I possessed, it had to be the darkest vilest immoral spirit to be born. She looked up at me helplessly, her eyes round like those of a doe... the trust still there and unwavering as I trampled on her heart. She was too good. But I continued on my needed road through righteous obscurity-

"Danishka... you knew my secret, my family's secret...what else was I to do?"

"No..." she begged, her eyes pitiful lavender globes, dimming as I put out her light with my untrue words.

"I only ask that you be _careful? _Live each day... this is your chance to have something that none of us had." I stressed, could she not hear the love I held for her in my request?

"No..." she said dementedly, her form trembling slightly. I wanted to reach out and pull her to my chest, offer her my jacket and whisper into her hair that it was all a misunderstanding...

"Danishka, we are going" I said instead, surprised by my own voice and the certainty it contained. I was a puppet on barbed-wire strings.

"Alice too?" she asked, pained and broken

"All of us. Be safe, normal... it will be as if I never existed" I promised, all the pictures, memento's and the dreaded medical file were removed from her bedroom and safely stored in a box. Ready to be shipped with Esme to Alaska.

I moved quickly away, before she could lift her head and hold me with her gaze. I ran like I had never run before, away from her-my love-and defying something lodged within me. I ran away from the structure I had come to call home were my family was awaiting my return to offer support and I ran away from the little town called Forks, home to the most important being to grace the earth.

I had to go, I had to run away-or I would find myself hurtling back to her and cause her death. I felt my being splintering and ripping itself open from the centre, her face flashing through my mind as I swerved blindly through the peninsula forest, uprooting ancient trees and leaving destruction in my path.

All the times she had smiled, all the times she had said my name and every touch; all nailed to my resilient mind, never fading and always with perfect recall. That would be my only gift and my undoing. I knew it. Would it be enough?

The edge of the ocean was near. The edge of the world as I knew it, ah I could smell its clearness... attempting to eliminate the _scent _that lingered in my nostrils; peaches, apricots and wild cherries. It never stayed the same, changing as she did with every second of her moving life, becoming a more intoxicating blend of my own personal addiction.

I sped through the trees, a blurring immortal spectre and flew of the cliff in an uncaring tortured rage... this could be mistaken for freedom. Oh, how I had never wanted to be jailed more!

The air whipped at my face accusingly and I cut through the wild waves of the ocean in a blinding sorrow of loud snarls only to be muted by the liquid darkness. I wanted to dive to the bottom, to let the pressure of the untouched depths of the sea truly ruin my wicked perfection-but I couldn't. That would be too easy. I had to bear it, to feel every passing second as she forgot me.

I swam through the cold water, willing to rip my humanity away.

The coldness surrounded me and the silence was deafening. No living sea creature dared come near me. There was a monster in their midst.

Xx~xx~XX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**DANISHKA NEBARI**

**A WEEK TILL YOU END**

"All of us" he whispered. "Be safe, normal... it will be as if I never existed"

I looked up and he was gone. The beautiful boy I had come to think of as Archangel, even though he thought he was from evil itself. The vampire that wouldn't take a life to satiate the brutal monster inside him. Edward. He was gone, and I was left alone in the dark forest. Alone and shattered.

"Edward?" I whispered, refusing to let it be the end.

"Edward!" I shouted my parched throat protesting and my weak lungs aching from the abuse.

I stumbled through the growth, we had stood in a deep part of the forest that had no paths and tried to pick up his scent. When I found it, I followed it and faltered deeper into the woods without looking back. All that was behind me was a life I could not lead without him. Without them. The Cullen's. I hadn't eaten food in a week, the thirst had been physically tormenting my body and I was weak... but I found the strength to go on in the forest, even after I lost his intoxicating freesia fragrance and the darkness surrounded me slowly. I staggered on, branches and bushes scraping my wielding skin-the very weak skin that had led to this. I cared not. I would never be normal and he thought he was turning me into what he hated: himself.

How could he not see he was the only reason I had stopped the downward spiral too doom?

The darkness approached from all sides. The cold was its welcoming party and soon, I was trapped between the two, alone on the forest floor and dying. I curled into a ball, pulling my form together with my weak arms and closed my eyes. I could hear my own voice, fractured and feeble, calling out for him through my darkness.

"Ed-ed…_Edward_?"

Xx~xx~xX

What had let to this? Did it matter, I had led this fairy tale-stolen from someone more deserving-and now, fate sought to make everything right. His beautifully devastating face was stamped on my eyelids. His voice was the only sound my ears knew. I had known better than to love him but it didn't stop my feelings from forming their own intricate design for him. He was a vampire and I was a...

What was I? The bullshit he was trying to sell me, trying to get Carlisle to say, hadn't worked. Carlisle had examined me and done his blood tests. He had given me the file the day before-and even after everything hadn't Carlisle said it was all up to theories? The file was in my room, in my bottom drawer with all that I found important; pictures of Edward, Alice and the rest of the Cullen's. The family that I never had, the family that thought of me as girl, daughter... not an oddity. That was all I had left.

Edward was a vampire, his nature made him attractive and irresistible. I had reminded myself of this at every awkwardly tense moment that found its way between us. I couldn't trust anything I felt and even if I could-he never saw me that way. I was eternally grateful for that because if I ever allowed myself to _fall _for _him_... this moment wouldn't have been my mental and emotional undoing as it were now-it would have been my death.

I didn't bother to get up after collapsing on the cold damp forest floor. I tightened my arms around my cold form and tried to shake the numbness that was seeping into my soul. Years of living like a shadow, and I had come to Forks and found _Edward. _Someone who understood me, who didn't want to analyse me and just cared and it had all been a _lie._

My entire life had been tainted by whispers behind my back. Lies and secrets. Fanatical stories of who I was and where I came from and I was just about to figure it out for myself. I was going to find it out with people-well, vampires-that _cared _for me. And it was all a lie to keep me quiet! Hadn't he known I would never tell? Hadn't he said he had seen my soul and it was _good?_ He said he'd be there forever... forever ended today. My sister was not even my sister, my friend...oh, my only friend and confidant. _My Edward. _He had _never _been... I had been played the fool, the most idiotic pathetic fool _ever._

I ended. I was a shadow again. The demon contour that was born to no purpose and to no one.

Xx~xx~xX

My grandmother had thought it; I had seen it in her eyes-my granddaughter, la Monstruo.

He had left so I could be normal because he theorized that my being around vampires was causing my vampire behaviour. The fact that I had been all too aware of blood before I met him seemed to not matter. It mattered not mainly because he hadn't believed me. The fact that I had had inhuman tendencies _before; _that I had caused a fire at my old school when I had gotten overly emotional-all before I met him-this did not matter. To Edward-my insides flinched-my being around them, the Cullen's, had heightened _everything_. Like a defence mechanism. So, they could leave now, because they trusted me enough to know I wouldn't snitch and I was unable to track them.

They had pretended to care, all the times Esme tried to get me to eat her dishes, joking with Emmett-it had been a lie. My dream and escape had remained just that. A fantasy. I was back in reality, in my _pathetic _life and I didn't know how to live it anymore. How do you go back to hell after being in heaven?

It had been two days since he left. Two days since they found me in the forest, cold and far gone. It had been two days since I had seen the yellow eyes and dark shape in the woods. The figure I thought to be the Dark Man but the eyes... they weren't a red ice-fire. The eyes were yellow and glowed. They weren't liquid gold or rich honey... it was the yellow of a burning hot fire. They had stood to high up to belong to any human shaped creature. The beast of hell had come for me.

In the next instant, a hot pair of strong burly arms had picked me up from the ice cold ground and held me to a burning broad naked chest.

"Found you" Sam Uley had whispered and saved me from Monster's of the Darkness just for that one day.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**DAY 1**

"She has been like this since Sam found her last night" that was Cindy's voice, I could hear it clearly. It was raspy and I knew it meant she had been crying. There were people in the room murmuring.

I stared at the coffee table unseeingly. Cindy had coaxed me out of bed like I was a wounded animal and set me up in the lounge, in front of the TV. I obliged her and sat there, staring at the colours blending into each other across the screen-cartoons-and didn't move for three solid ours.

A tall man came and stood in front of my line of vision. He was tall, muscular and fierce looking. He stared down at me from his height, stared at my pathetic form on the couch for a second and not the same way everyone else had been staring but with a sort of pity mixed with fear-but all shaded with a scowl. Like he was angry at me but I was too far gone too care.

"She wasn't hurt or _anything_?" he asked someone over my head, his dark scowling eyes never leaving my face.

"No?" Cindy croaked.

"Its okay, Ms...?" asked a deeper, gravely voice.

"Ms Calvin" she whispered.

"Yes, we understand that she was close to the Cullen family?"

"Yeah, she was friends with Carlisle...Dr Carlisle's son, Edward." Cindy sighed. "She was so close to him... closer than I have ever seen her with _anyone. _Their leaving abruptly like that, after we had a big family disturbance... _well, _she is definitely hurt badly in that sense"

"Hmm" the deep, rough voice answered. "Sam, can I talk to you outside son"

There was shuffling of feet and movement behind me, in the kitchen. Just hearing Cindy say his name had made me start. It had caused a sharp pain to needle through my heart. The talk of their definite departure, how obviously _close _I had been to him... my grandmother's visit. Sam Uley had stood in front of me, scrutinizing my face as each of the varying degrees of pain had fleeted across my face. His surly eyes sharp and calculating and I got the feeling he knew there was more to the story than just a pathetic girl with a broken heart.

He moved abruptly, his large body oddly graceful and full of purpose and I heard him slam the door behind him.

I heard and odd rolling sound against the wooden floor and a man in a wheel chair positioned himself in front of me. He was ancient looking and not in the sense that he was old, but had a face that showed knowledge and wisdom. His russet face was lined but I could tell he wasn't as old as he appeared. It was just an aura about him that he needed to be respected. His sharp, deep set eyes stared straight at my face with concern.

"Danishka" he called for my attention, his deep rich voice left no doubt that I couldn't ignore him so easily.

I looked at him carefully, letting my eyes rake over his face and finally meeting his eyes.

"What happened in the forest?"

"I got lost" I said, my voice straining and sounding so foreign. I didn't want to talk because it hurt my throat.

"Did you go in alone?" he looked me straight in the eye and I shivered. I felt a compulsion to just spill everything that had happened so they could all leave me alone. But it wasn't that easy...

"I went in... alone"

"Did Edward Cullen hurt you?"

I flinched away from him, groaning and pulling my arms over my body to keep myself from coming undone. I was aware that I was shaking my head, my shaggy unkept hair tickling my face as I rocked slightly.

"Danishka?"

"No, he would _never _hurt me..."I cried, my throat protesting and my nose filled with the old man's woodsy spice scent. The burning arrived. I shot a look at him and hissed "maybe _I _hurt _him?_"

"No, I don't think so" he sighed, looking away from me. I was glaring at him violently, internally screaming at him to leave me in my hell, "but in any way, it is good they _all _left"

"He was my _friend_" I said, my voice shaky.

"You and I both know he was no friend to you" he said with finality, wheeling his chair around and motioning for someone. Sam Uley came, glaring at me and put his hand on the back handles of the old man's wheel chair.

"Ms Nebari, you are safe now... we will pray for you" he said, that concern creeping into his eyes. Fuck his concern! I turned my head away from him and held myself tighter, rocking myself.

"We will check up on you" Sam Uley said and I had to look at him. His gaze was severe and I instantly felt ashamed for my rudeness towards the old man. He wheeled him out of the lounge and murmured to the other people in the kitchen.

Within minutes, the house was empty, except for Cindy and me.

Cindy came in the lounge and placed a cup with steam billowing out of it.

"Coffee" she said softly, carefully. "We are going to be fine hey; it's always you and me no matter what"

"It's just me Cindy"

"No... It's _us_" she begged. "Grandma... well, she said we were family. We are family. It won't _ever matter_"

Did it matter to me that my Grandma claimed she was my aunt after she had told me my father wasn't related to me? Or that my sister and the only person I knew who wouldn't hurt me ever was some sort of cousin? It had mattered two days ago, when my grandmother had arrived in Forks for my birthday party with the news, officially ruining my life a second time. It had mattered when I had gone to the party Alice had thrown even through my pain, because I _knew _Alice had been looking forward to it.

It had officially stopped mattering when I somehow held the knife too tight to tight, my strength levelling in an inhuman quantity and bending the blade in my hand, the blood flowing over my hand to the floor. The blood pooling easily...

When I had looked up and saw the fierce hunger that had erupted inside of Jasper's gold eyes, then it had ceased to matter. In that moment, a lot had stopped mattering because it had been the beginning of the end.

Jasper moving for me, and my supernaturally alert eyes catching the speed and strength of his vampire body while the rest of the Cullen's remained immobile except for their blood thirsty eyes swivelling over me. The sound of marble durable bodies colliding as Edward dove in the way of my death, of Jasper-after I had managed to fling him of me. The snarls and growls erupting from inside Jasper's chest to escape through his clenched razor sharp white teeth, as Emmet pulled him out of the room.

That smug look on Rosalie's damagingly beautiful face and Alice's apologetic departure. My small pixie-like friend, the ballerina with the spiky black hair-had left the room. Esme's sad beautiful caring face as she glided out. The only two had stayed behind were Carlisle and Edward. They were facing off; Edward's entire stance in front of me was protective. His arms spread out; his form in a low crouch and his snarls filling the Cullen's dining room. Wild feral snarls and growls and I was grateful that I couldn't see his face. Carlisle looked at him with all the love and compassion a father has for his son.

"Edward, she is bleeding... I need to tend to the wound"

He hissed and then growled before straightening up but didn't move after ten agonizingly long seconds.

"Danii" Cindy called my name a second time through my daze.

I snapped away from the memory and looked at her, my eyes wide and surprised. I had forgotten I had been in the lounge with her... I had transported myself back to those fateful minutes that had sealed my doom.

"Danii..." she sighed, her face pained. "We can get through this together. Edward was just one boy..."

"_Don't say his name!"_

She flinched back, her long fingers going over her mouth and her eyes wide enough that the whites popped out. I had scared her, I had scared her with a supernatural accuracy and she knew it, she saw it in my face that instant I had hissed at her, rebuking her dismissal.

"I..I..._Danii_" she begged again, tears streaming down her brown face freely. "Danii, I now you were close, I know you cared for him but the way you got attached... it wasn't _normal_"

"Well, it's fitting since I am not normal"

"You are you" she sighed, wiping the tears on her face with the back of her hand. "You are you and I love you. We will stay here-away from the world-and you _will _get better, honey"

I looked at her hopelessly. My sister no matter what anyone said to me, the one person who cared unconditionally and my friend. She was _my _silver lining. My tall peppy cheer leader and I felt the guilt crawling into me t the realisation that she would have to watch me go through this. It was the only way out, through the pain.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**DAY 2**

"You have to come out Danii"

Come out to what? The ridiculous irrelevant continuation of life that was waiting for me, how was that different to this. Here, I wasn't bothering anyone. My demented eyes wouldn't make people flinch, my soulless tone wouldn't make people gasp and my very presence would be unmissed. Curled up in bed, in that small little ball I had been on the forest floor that fateful day-I was safe.

"I made you a bowl of custard..."Cindy said, her voice taking a pleading quality.

I groaned. My parched lips-ashy and flaky- stung with the thought of food passing through them. My throat throbbed and my muscles were lax but I knew if I got out of my ball they would creak and pierce my numbness with pain.

If I moved, I would be in pain because I had been curled up like this for a whole day. If I got out of my room I would have to face Cindy. I would have to see the pain I was causing her and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to deal with the _thirst _either.

She wanted to talk about my grandmother's visit. She wanted to talk about the fact that we weren't sisters, that I was somehow her cousin and her mother's death had everything to do with my existence after I was abandoned by an unknown woman, by Pangra's sister... She wanted to talk about _him _too. I wouldn't-couldn't-say his name.

"Danii..." she cried, her voice soft and tortured. I heard a thud on my bedroom door and I knew she was leaning on it, probably slumped on the floor.

Fifteen minutes later and her shadow moved from my door. I couldn't hear whether she had gone to the kitchen or not. I couldn't hear her heartbeat. I couldn't _hear._ It was like the forest when I had succumbed to the pain and lost. I had waited; he would come... my _archangel._ The cold had seeped into my flimsy flannel shirt and the ground had gone hard with the cold. I was waiting for him in the dark, nothing but the rain to renounce the cold that bled all around and no disturbance in the air that he had returned for me. I listened, desperately but I could hear no sound.

That thought had dripped into my mind. Slithering and trailing an acid through me.

_Isn't anyone trying to find me? Won't someone take me home?_

And in my darkness, in my sorrow and my new found hell; my conscious nightmare-I heard the voice from my dread. The dark vampire and he had answered my questions with his honey poison voice, "No, there is no one. Monster"

Monster. Carlisle had told me of how he became a vampire and what he had to go through. Edward had explained his own transformation and I had seen him deal with the vampire side of him every day with Bella. Sometimes, even with me... in that comparison we were different. And it was what he had laid his arguments on, letting me know how there was no way I was a monster because he had seen monsters. He had convened with them. He was one.

That was why I was the worst kind of monster, for if what he said was true-and I was human-then that made me a sort of cannibalistic deranged freak? A being with no real race but a dark side that could consume itself. Monster.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**DAY 3**

"_I will get you, I will get you and I _will _have you..."sneered the red eyed demon. The Dark Man who walked the earth spreading terror to women of the small villages in the jungles. He leered at me, pacing in front of my bedroom window. How was he pacing in the air?_

"_I will get you and I will have you and I will _suck you dry_" he cooed, but his voice had changed. It rasped slightly and didn't have that seductive honey quality. It was bland, poor and childlike._

_I looked up and the Dark Man wasn't there anymore. In his place was a pale, red eyed vampire with sandy blonde uninteresting hair. He wore a pair of jeans and only a waist coat. A stark comparison to the suave tailored suits of the Dark Man. This vampire didn't scare me like the Dark Man did, even though I knew he only wanted me dead. I was scared no doubt, but not of the death-the death was inevitable. But of the moments before death. _

"_Yes...I like to play with my food" James whispered, placing his ghostly white hand on my window pane. "And now that you are alone... we can play and play, and maybe your sister can join us too"_

"_Danii" he groaned, as though the name gave him pleasure. "Danii, wake up"_

"Wake up Danii" a voice said urgently. There was a moaning sound somewhere. "Danii, it's okay baby, it's just a nightmare..."

"Nghhh... Argh!" I screamed, sitting upright and pushing Cindy off of me. She looked at me hurt, rubbing the arm I had pushed violently. "What? Where is he...?"

"Who sweetie?" she asked timidly, her eyes brimming with tears. "Edward?"

"_Don't say his name!" _ I hissed, covering my face with my thin shaking hands. "Please?"

"Sorry-uh-who then, not...him?"

"No one, it was a nightmare, its nothing" I sighed, looking at my clock on the side table.

Cindy shifted uneasily from the spot she sat on my bed. "You were screaming bloody murder for fifteen minutes, Danii, it isn't nothing"

"It. Is. Nothing" I said. "A nightmare"

"Who is... the Dark Man?"

Curses. I ramble in my sleep. Heavens knows what kind of things E... _he _ heard.

"A cartoon character"

"Okay, I get it. Goodnight then" she sighed. "Do you want me to leave the light on?"

"No" I said softly. "Cindy?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Lock your bedroom door and latch the window before you go to sleep"

Xx~xx~xX

Late morning arrived swiftly and the contents of the nightmare had merged into nothing but a feeling of terror.

"_Hanging out with vampires can be hazardous to your health"_

"Will you eat today?" Cindy asked, pushing a bowl of cornflakes towards me. I shook my head and poured a cup of coffee instead.

"Bella called"

"I don't care"

Xx~xx~xX

I spent the afternoon staring out the window at the forest, imagining what it would be like if I just hurled my body through the window towards it. Would it catch me in mid air with its thick lush branches and hold me in a desperate embrace. Would I go hurtling down to the green ground in a death spiral, shattering every bone to match my heart?

My room was clean, cleaner than it had ever been with me cleaning it, and my bed was made. I sat in front of the window, unmoving, with a packet of crisps beside me. Cindy had placed them there four hours ago and they still remained unopened. I had had a lollipop in the past two days...

The doctor had come by earlier in the afternoon and I heard Cindy murmuring things to him. He was a psychologist. He came up to my room with heavy foot falls against the stairs and opened my door softly. He sat for twenty minutes trying to get me to acknowledge his presence before leaving in a huff and dropping a prescription for sedatives. At least tonight there would be no nightmares.

Xx~xx~xX

"Eat the mushroom, honey" Cindy instructed, chewing hers with exaggerated enjoyment.

I stared at the plate with the assortment of vegetables; green, red, orange and in-between colours. It looked like a plate of puke. Why we were seated at the kitchen table was beyond me. The kitchen was spotless even though Cindy had spent the day baking my favourite cookies and cakes. She never tidied up after she made her baking bomb. Last time I had come home late from...the Cullen's house, and Alice had dropped me off, insisting the whole way up to the door that she see me in. We had walked in to find Cindy's infamous baking bomb and the little pixie vampire had smiled and said, "See, aren't you glad you have a super fast resilient vampire friend who looks out for your future?"

"What's funny?" Cindy asked, self consciously and successfully cutting through my bitter-sweet recall. I had a smile creeping up on my face without permission. The movement on my face actually hurt and I frowned before glaring at _supper._

"Okay, you don't want to eat... fine" she sighed, getting up to the kitchen counter. " But just take this... it will help you sleep"

I took one of the pills with a glass of water and moved like a somnambulist up to bed.

"Goodnight Danishka" Cindy called up. "No screaming for death tonight!"

**Xx~xx~xX  
>DAY 4<strong>

This morning I had a doughnut. It was round and had a jelly centre and it was so fresh. My mouth salivated with each bite and my stomach tightened with glee. I ate it greedily over the kitchen counter while Cindy watched with a smug look. I couldn't care less for her in that moment; it was just me and my doughnut. I had four more to be sure that I wasn't imagining the heavenly taste...

Xx~xx~xX

I walked timidly at the edge of the forest, glancing every now and then through the trees. Cindy had agreed to go to work today (it had been a heated conversation between Cindy and... herself) after finding my doughnut-eating-Coca-Cola-drinking self well enough to spend the afternoon without her. Of course she had told me not to go out, to stay indoors and watch her sappy DVD's.

The masochist I was, I had to go back in the forest. I had to see where it had all ended.

I paced quickly; relishing in the new found energy my limbs had acquired today, and looked at the forest with quick uneasiness. My breathing had changed, my breathe coming out in fast short gasps and my palms were sweating.

It was just a forest, a stupid forest with stupid woodland animals.

There was no Edward waiting for me in there-I grimaced as the memory of his indifferent face fleeted through my mind. There was no Dark Man lurking in the darkness with an audacious masculine pull that called for my death in the most seductive way. There was no James... I froze, gaping at the forest in horror. Victoria however, was a sincere possibility. My heart pounded against my frail chest and the ground shifted beneath me. My knees buckled and my legs quivered ruthlessly bellow my body, threatening to give in any minute. I looked down at my hands, turning them palms up and I swear I saw the blood-the accursed blood I had dreamt of after I had buried Timtom-but it vanished before my eyes in the same instance. My hands trembled, shaking and I pushed them forward as if I could throw them away.

"Argh..." it felt like I had swallowed a sponge and it was jammed in my throat. "Cin-Cindy?"

A tidal wave of nausea hit me, and I staggered back, my feet giving up on me. I fell over backwards, hitting my head on the soft grass bellow. I looked up, not daring to move and the sky spun, the grey clouds zooming in circles above me. The edges of my visions were being infected by a black cancer that ate away at everything slowly, and I knew it would get to the core of my eye sight and then I would be unconscious. Focus, I told myself... but I couldn't. I was at the edge of the dark forest, flirting with a sadistic vampires face in my mind and having the mother of all panic attacks. What was there for me to focus on?

Edward's glorious face appeared in my mind, smiling his crooked smile and that knowing twinkle in his eye. I passed out seconds later.

Xx~xx~xX

"I told her to stay indoors" Cindy's voice murmured irritably but the emotion was dripping and over flowing in her tone.

"Yes, but she is doing _much _better for her to be out" a deep gravely voice responded. I knew that voice, it belonged to Sam Uley. "You have to keep her away from the forests... there are dangerous...creatures roaming in there with cruel intentions"

"Yes" Cindy sighed guiltily. As though my passing out outside for three hours was her fault.

"She is making progress... these things, a broken, uhm heart-they take time" Sam whispered thoughtfully. "Just... Let her go through it"

"You sound like you know a bit about it?"

"Yeah, a bit"

I woke up thirty minutes after Sam left; I had been lying on the couch. I wondered if Cindy had to call him again to find me. Would she have seen me from the kitchen window lying motionless on the cool grass? Sam Uley must think I'm the most deranged damaged girl in Forks, Washington.

"You're up?"

"No Cindy, I'm asleep and you are in my dream" I sighed.

"Sarcasm back in full force, I'd say we are making progress" she responded chirpily. "I have food for you..."

I got up and made my way to the kitchen. She motioned for me to sit by the kitchen table were a plate of steamed vegetables waited for me. I mumbled nonsense about vegetarians and bunny food but I ate the supper none the less. I would need to get better and strong if I was going to take care of us.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**DAY 5**

"I don't want to see _anyone_" I moaned through my bedroom door. I stood in front of it, in my room, incensed. I had been very specific and detailed about how I did not want to see a living creature anywhere near our property under the guise of 'checking on me'. Especially if those living creatures where from Forks High...

"Danii, they are right by the door... here with me" Cindy whispered, embarrassed.

"I don't care!"I shouted, flailing my hands dramatically and knocking over my snowball from the book shelve in the protest. It fell, smashed into little pieces and the water soaked my lilac rug. "Argh!" 

"Danii...?" that was Bella's shy voice. "We'll leave... uh, maybe tomorrow then?"

"_Never!_" I was well aware of how childish and unreasonable I was being. I didn't care.

"You're being a _brat_, but anyway, we tried" Jessica seethed. "Bella, Angela... unless you want to walk home I suggest you start moving".

Xx~xx~xX

"Angela is very sweet..." Cindy said softly, peering over her huge coffee mug. I had finally come out of my room at midday.

"Mmhm" I grunted, making a big production of fixing myself cereal. There was milk splashed on the kitchen counter, cornflakes littered the floor and I had broken a bowl. All while Cindy watched quietly and strangely amused.

"I'm going into town today... do you want to come?" she asked, smiling at me suspiciously.

"No" I eyed her cautiously.

"That's fine then, I'll see you later" she sighed, putting her mug in the sink and walking over to the table to get her bag and car keys. "Try to stay out of the forest... I don't want to have to call Sam again to sniff you out"

Xx~xx~xX

I managed to make my bed reasonably and pile all the junk in my room in one corner-the corner with my giant teddy bear. I piled everything until the stupid thing was completely covered in clothes, books, shoes and blankets. I stood over the heap in satisfaction. It was like burying a little of the hurt, a tiny miniscule insignificant part that only made blinking less of a stress. What an achievement.

Cindy had left in the early afternoon all dressed up. I had failed to notice that part. While I slaved in the kitchen preparing two-minute noodles she had gone off somewhere with the full intention of not returning early.

Where was she? Hmmm, a date?

I sat petulantly in front of the TV staring angrily at it. Entirely angry that she had failed to tell me this little factor. I wouldn't be worrying like I was now. Worrying about her, worrying that it was dark outside and we lived right by that accursed forest and I was at home alone.

I fell asleep on the couch and the moment she walked in I woke up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and trying to look fresh as a demented daisy.

"You waited up for me?" she asked, her voice full of her sappy emotion. It bothered me how easily emotional she could be.

"No, I'm watching a very interesting movie"

"The midnight news is playing?"

"Goodnight!" I stomped of upstairs, grateful to have my sister home and safe.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**DAY 6**

Today I woke up and got ready for school. It was Thursday but I didn't care. I didn't care that I looked like a wraith from a Tim Burton movie. I didn't care that my hair was beyond recovery and all I could do was oil it and comb it back into a tight bushy puff and I didn't care that everything at Forks High would remind me of _them_.

I didn't care that I cared and my insides were in torture.

My being miserable did not have to mean that Cindy had to endure it. She was my one and only... it wasn't easy but I would make it durable, at least for her.

"Uh, what are you doing up so early?" Cindy asked, frowning at the sunlight peering through the bathroom window.

"Brushing my teeth?"

"Why?"

"So my breath doesn't stink for people at school"

She smiled and the joy I felt watching her grin in her bathrobe and her hair sticking out in all directions was unprecedented. I smiled back weakly and shooed her out of the bathroom.

Xx~xx~xX

"Oh my god, I thought she would change schools... maybe even _follow_ him!" shrieked Lauren Mahoney from across the gym, clearly with every intention of me hearing.

I watched her weakly and was all too aware that I stood alone from everyone else. It felt like I had some highly contagious disease that ate up the skin and teeth. I sighed, sitting on the bench dejectedly and wondered why I had come again.

Right. Cindy would be ecstatic because she would somehow be sharing the teenage-angst-torture I was now enduring from Forks Hospital. Everyone was staring at me and whispering loudly about me. It was a thousand times worse than the first day.

Xx~xx~xX

"So, anyway... I think we should all go and watch it as a group" Lauren said, flipping her black hair flirtatiously at Tyler.

Why they were sitting by me, I wouldn't know. I had sat quietly at the Cullen's old place, were no one had been seated. Bella walks into the cafeteria, scans the perimeter for me and shuffled over blushing the whole time. After that, the whole group just came over, crowding me with their awkwardness and obvious curiosity. I sighed but I had made a promise to myself I would be good and not throw tantrums.

"I think that's a good idea" Bella said, and after Bella announced that, all the boys agreed which in turn made the girls agree. "What do you think Danii?"

I looked at Bella irritated; she had been trying to pull me into all their discussions and I had been trying to disappear. I frowned and shrugged my shoulders, picking up my biology book to read my notes. I gasped, dropping the book on the floor like it burned.

"What is it?" whispered Angela, reaching down to get the book. The rest of the teenagers were oblivious to what had just transpired. She opened it and frowned.

"This isn't your writing...?" she asked, she knew my hand writing from English class. "Did you get someone's notebook accidentally?"

I remained still, glaring at the linoleum floor. My hand was shaking slightly and my eyes stung. I would not have a panic attack at school.

"It's _his_" I said softly so she was the only one who would hear.

"Oh, uh-okay. Do you want me to take it" she asked her voice shaky.

"No" I took the book carefully and placed it back in my bag.

"...and if Danii is there, we will be even" I heard Bella say, and I automatically went into defence mode at having plans made that included me.

"Nebari _isn't _invited, Bella" Lauren hissed and then noticed I was paying attention. "Uh, you know... you just got back and you are all depressed looking"

"Nah, she's better" Mike said, smiling and winking at me.

"Yeah... because throwing a toddler-esque tantrum _is _the _sign _of mental well being" Jessica added, frowning and pursing her lips.

"I won't be coming" I sighed. "I'll spend that Friday helping my sister at Forks Hospital after school"

"Well, that's cleared up" Lauren stated, smiling like a Cheshire cat. Bella looked at me dejectedly and I felt guilt seeping through me, she was trying to get me back and I was so content to drown.

Xx~xx~xX

"So how was school?" Cindy asked from across the kitchen table. We were having supper, vegetables again but this time there was steak. I poked my potatoes absently with my fork.

"Fine"

"Just fine?"

"Very fine, then" I sighed. What did she want from me, I was doing all I can to keep her at ease.

"Tomorrow is Friday" she said, cocking one eyebrow and smirking conspiratorially. "Whatcha doin'?"

I smiled, relishing in how her Texas drawl was always more pronounced when she was excited about something. I looked at my sister for all intents and purpose and noticed how she seemed to be glowing of late.

"I'm going to Forks Hospital after school to help my...sister" I faltered on the word 'sister' even though it was what she would always be to me. I realised I didn't know if she still wanted to be that, to me. If things had changed... to that extent.

She smiled so widely I thought her cheeks would sprain. "Ah, _baby..._" Baby? "I... can't"

"What? Why not... you work the evening but finish of reasonable early...?" I whined.

"I...well, I'm kind of going on a date" she said, smiling shyly and being as bashful as a virgin bride on her honey moon night.

"Date?" well, I did suspect it. "With who?"

"He is much older than I am..." she said, looking at me pleadingly. "But he is quiet and patient"

"Name, Cindy" I demanded.

"It's a surprise, I promise you will approve." She winked at me and I groaned. I wasn't in the mood for games. Ever.

"Whatever, I'm off to bed" I retorted, my face failing to conceal the grimace. I didn't want to be alone at night.

Xx~xx~xX

"Danii, come on... you have to spend some time with Bella. She really likes you" she said, getting up to do her dishes. I frowned at her, wondering why she was all for Bella suddenly. Hadn't she accused her (behind Bella's back of course) of trying to steal my 'gorgeous boyfriend'? Her words, not mine.

"No" I said, cutting my hand in the air to drive home how serious I was.

"Well, it's either _that _or you go to Texas for the weekend" she said, her eyes narrowed and her arms folding over her skinny chest in challenge. She had been murmuring the 'Texas' thing the whole week. She thought I needed to mend things with Grandma... or aunt… whichever.

"You can't do that" I shouted. "I've been good, I eat and I go to school..."

"But you walk around like a _shell_" she sighed. "It's like he went with your soul or something, it's scary. I've told Grandma and she wants you back, she wants to care for you and take you to South America..."

"I'll go to the stupid movies, with stupid Bella Swan!" I screamed, stomping up the stairs and banging my door. It flew of the hinges with the inhuman strength I had flung it with, bouncing back twice and then stopping to dangle by the top hinge. I stood still, staring at it and then glaring at my hands accusingly.

Cindy screamed downstairs, in anger I guessed and I heard the front door open. She had finally snapped, all her pleasantries flying out the window and now the reality of caring for a teenage angst freakish not-your-sister girl were collecting in her.

I lay in bed still, listening for her footsteps to signal she was back in the house. I didn't want her out in the dark for long. There were creatures with cruel intentions in the shadows.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**It took a while because it needed tweaking-plot purposes.**

**Response reviews and pm's**

**I hear you shadowlight, hmm… I hear you loud and clear. But for some of what you had said, I did mention that this was going to follow the first three twilight books and by that I didn't mean the _whole story_ but the few chapters ahead because I need the story to get to a certain place before I can diverge from the twilight verse.**

**Danishka's grandmother is not like her. Completely normal. Cindy is early twenties.**

**I am hoping that after I use up all the material I had written when I was still infatuated with Twilight a few years ago-(this was mostly written a few years ago but needed a lot of gramma-plot tweaking before I post chapters) we can change the atmosphere a bit. About this being canon-when I said alternate universe I didn't mean non canon although there will be one prominent change in canon here seeing as how Renesme will never get a chance to exist. Hint nudge hint.**

**Danishka is just a kid at the end of the day. That is deliberate to some of her actions. **

**My understanding of vampires, which I mentioned in this chapter, is that their very physical presence is intoxicating right, so I hope that carries on why Danishka would react to Edward in a certain way-but she is prudent enough to know this.**


	16. The Traveller

I couldn't say I knew exactly what I was looking for.

All I had to go by was Pangra's dimming memories of a world of Old, a jungle filled with looming shadows and dangerous secrets-all veiled in decades of a mind worn out by keeping such things hidden. A world of Old…

Vampires were of the oldest possibly, but this was all according to our records. Our ego's at being the top of the food chain.

A world of Old… that's what Pangra had referred to and of course I could not seek her out after I had made the promise to _her_. To her… my one and only, the last person left to reside solely in my conscious-for that was what I had after I had traded my soul for this living damnation. A conscious and only if I willed it. Only if I refuted what I was…

If I could fall under the spell of sleep, I would dream of only her. Danishka. I would dream of her small smile that never revealed any teeth… I would dream of her side-pout that meant so many things… I would dream of her dimples. I would dream of her dainty fingers and her tiny wrists…

If I could dream and I dreamt of her, then when I had nightmares it would be of my demented betrayal to my unbeating heart. Her wide unbelieving stare as I ripped apart everything we had both worked towards; her-a friend and myself-being in her life; a hidden happiness that had eluded me for decades. A taste of heaven… if I was a demon and there was no doubt that I wasn't; if I were a demon and I had been walking through hell-she had to be heaven. She had to be my heaven, a little piece of it sent to me by God as a sign of sympathy for my unending journey through this accursed living death...

How do I hurt? I hurt with the bitter despair of a thousand condemned souls… awake in our hell, alive in our death. Forced to watch as the world moves unconcerned at our loss. I would rot in this seedy motel in Rio if I were more cowardly… I would grow mould and have cobwebs around me as I waited for her years to pass and age to take over her. I would wait… as time passed.

Could I wait?

No, I had to wait. All the little fleeting thoughts of disobeying my own command had to be punished. I would not backtrack and risk losing her more thoroughly… all I could do was be true to the one promise I had made her. That I we would find a cure for her thirst, for her abrupt supernatural tendencies that left her human body drained-we would find out about her past.

And although Carlisle and I had not managed to analyse her blood, although we had fallen to theories and were forced to settle to hypothesised conclusions-I had to go on for her. I would figure it out…

"When will you be home sweetie" Esme asked softly. I was grateful for the millions of miles apart us… not having to _hear_ from her thoughts how sad I had made her. My mother and best friend…

"I will come…" I began but I stopped. I could not lie to her. Would I come home… ever? What would I do once I had finished with my task in South America…?

"It's okay… just keep a phone with you and do what you have to do. I know how truly important she was to you. How _irrevocably _lodged in your heart she is…"

"I can't…talk…" I gasped, falling to my knees in an incomprehensible agony, a bitter pain that struck at the hollow cavity in my chest at any mention of her… any sign of her. And by the heavens, _she was everywhere._ Every single blue was a small fleck lodged in her varying multi-coloured iris of blue till purple and back.

Every brown fell under judgment of her silky cocoa skin. Every black lost it's richness in comparison to her wild mane. Everything was her and yet it was not.

"Edward, _come home"_ Esme begged, all pretences thrown aside. "Let me take care of you!"

"I have to go mother" I said and I cut the line.

Xx~xx~xX

I needed to be away from the city, I realised. I needed to brave solitude and stop falling to the safety of bustling sounds and intermingling thoughts; I needed to be alone. I needed to be far away. The World of Old could not be reached in _Cities_ but to get where I wanted to be, I had to be crafty-there was no point searching in the dark when any number of humans could hold the necessary information and be used as a useful tool. What I knew was simple; I was in the wrong part of South America and for me to get where I needed to be, I had to do that inconspicuously, I couldn't afford having villagers worked up on my account. Elusive… but with a steady human contact.

"Sir…" the man insisted, reaching his hand out for me and following me through the thick crowd. "I have what you _need_, sir…"

"No, you don't…" I breathed stopping suddenly and allowing him to reach me. He sighed in relief, breathing heavy from the little exertion his sturdy form had to put up to keep me in his sights and I could see from his mind-I could see what he had that he prayed every man needed.

But I had no use of drugs or sex.

I had use for him however, I had use for his vermin like mind that seemed to have a knack for survival and knowing things of value-a mind that could tell I was dangerous but put it down to money. Money made people dangerous in this world…

"You sure, senor?" he chuckled uneasily, noting that this American somehow managed to remain pale in this heat, not a single sweat drop on my marble face. Noting that I was too good looking and a man of such attractiveness may want another kind of thing, may need something more…

"I need… you to tell me where your grandmother lives?" I sighed impatiently and he frowned.

"What kind of sicko are you…" he breathed, taking a step back and shaking his head. "I got two grandmothers, amigo... and I love them too dearly…"  
>"The grandmother who does your coke for you" I clarified. "If you could arrange for a meeting, that would be most appreciated"<br>"My grandmother…!" he said in fake indignation but the moment I took out the wad of bills in my pocket, his expression smoothed over. "My grandmother, amigo… she is old, man. She is ancient… maybe my sister?"

"I don't want to do _that_" I hissed, trying to keep my patience. Jasper had always been better at shady dealings with criminals-even human ones. I had no patience for vileness, it called out to the short tempered monster in me and this man had me retracting my initial thought for a human contact to find out on the world of Old. "And her being ancient is exactly why I have use for you and your _wretchedness_…"

"What you want to do, man" he asked, staring at the money in my hand. "Come, friend… we talk over there…"  
>I let him lead us to an ally, my mind whirling with violence for him-contemplating killing him and ridding Rio of is vileness when he had served his purpose. In South America, the aged were more wary of pale beautiful strangers-more suspicious and rightly so. It would be easier to have a willing person to talk to, to ask questions and have source out information from superstitious villagers for me…<p>

He was thinking of stabbing me and running of with my money.

"What you laughing at amigo?" he asked, reaching behind him for his knife-which I had already taken from him.

"You" I sighed in a detached tone raising his knife in the dull street light and watching as his eyes widened in horror, his hand still searching for the blade he had tucked under his belt. "I have no time for this"

I snapped the blade easily in half with my two fingers and flung the shards in the dark ally.

"Your grandmother, I would like to ask her questions on Peru" I said coolly.

"Sure man…" he stammered, finally allowing his drunken mind to grab onto the fact he maybe in danger. "You going to give me the cash though…"  
>"I'll think on it" I whispered. "Lead the way…"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

After being a monster for so long and forgetting most of what it was like to be human, one would think a vampire would be used to uneasiness and timid acknowledgments. Carlisle had corrupted me in this sense; to _not _want to be a monster. I suppose even if I had been turned by another, my frail humanity would have fought its way up regardless.

But it really was Danishka who had spoilt me into forgetting momentarily that I was a vampire. That I was a fiend of the highest quality. She should never have gazed up at me with such effortless trust that I began to believe I would never be false, she should never have been so eager to let me know I was good so I walked around thinking I could make a difference to something…. She should have never let me believe I had a soul… even if it was for that one second when I had made her smile, when I had made her blush-when she had made a cold form warm up from the inside out.

He leads me through alleyways, turning back to see if I am able to keep up. I am frustrated already; I know where it is we are heading naturally from his mind and these feeble pretences in a community were myths rule their minds through9 night and day is wearing on me. His every thought on 'screwing me over' annoying me exponentially and my already shaky hold on my now disrupted humanity is allowing the vampire inside me to growl for his blood. But I wouldn't taint my self with the likes of such…

I haven't hunted, I realise.

"Come on man" he repeats in English although I am right behind him-it's a habit he has, this is something he does often; lead strange men to his sisters and then mutters in Portuguese how easily I move over the dilapidated streets as though I have the route mapped out; not bothering with squinting or falling in the dim to nonexistent light.

He ducks through an opening on the side of a crumbling building, scrambling inside and the awaiting my 'panicked call' because he is sure I haven't seen his _dexterous_ move through the little entrance. I move swiftly inside, halting my breathing when the smell of urine hits my nose torturously and appear beside him quietly.

"What are you waiting for?" I whisper and he jumps, swearing low and shaking his head.

"You quick man" he mutters. "Have you been here before?"  
>"Go and tell your grandmother there is a man who wants to ask her a few questions on the village she is from" I instruct.<p>

"How do you know what village she is from" he frowns.

I picked it up from your thoughts a few days ago, I want to say. I want to tell him that he had not found me but I had lured him to seek me out with precisely placed actions. I want to mention that I had heard the fight he had with his grandmother on how she wants to return to her little hut and leave this sinful life behind and spend the rest of her few days atoning for her greed to the money they have received.

"I read it here" I murmur instead, waving the money in his face and he grumbles, suspicious but more greedy than anything.

"Come, you wait out the door…" he mutters petulantly, his unease increasing at his latent instincts awareness that he is alone with a dangerous predator in darkness. "I'll talk to her"

"And this is why" I muse to myself softly, when he disappears through a rickety door casting me one last apprehensive look before heading to pull his grandmother away from sifting cocaine "Money will always be at the top of the predatory list"

Xx~xx~xX

She sits tense in the chair, her back straight and pressed against the chair and eyes bulging out-staring directly at me accusingly and I am glad the light in the room is dimmed and casts everything in orange hues… including me. It would be most counterproductive if she were to note that I was truly as pale as death right about now…

"Good Evening" I murmur in Portuguese and she nods tersely. She thinks I am a spy for the police.

She is thin, her olive skin creased and parched with hard days and worse evenings and hair billowing weakly over her head in white wisps. Her grandson gives her grief, she thinks. She may have led him to this life-and this is part of the reason she is finding it hard to rectify the situation-but he refuses to have a conscious. Desperate times had called for desperate measures…

"I would like to speak to her alone" I say loudly, in English and Pedro jumps from behind the door, his thoughts flurrying over how I 'know things' and a slight after thought that his grandmother maybe in danger. He may have put her in real danger…

"Move from the door" I say irritated. "I will know if you are listening… and if it makes you comfortable to get back up go ahead Pedro…"

He moves after a beat and heads into the dark streets of the grungy shack-village he calls home to call a few friends to deal with me. I may be the police for all he knows. I may be a spoilt rich man with a father looking for me and if he kidnaps me; his family will be set for life…

"Margaret…" I breathe and she stiffens. "Please, only a few questions and two strange requests. It is something we are both searching for, my dear"

She peers at me, curious milky grey eyes noting that my Portuguese is flawless-along with my skin and charm and she loosens up a little, but never dispelling that I may be a cop. That I may be a rival producer out to find out how far their intricate system goes.

"I have no interest for anything but… where _you_ are from and I think we can help each other" I sigh and then groan internally when I realise I am out of breath and will need to take in the bitter coke air of this little room if I am to talk.

"I am from a place you do not know of, young man" she murmurs scowling. "And why such a hidden inconsequential place should interest you is beside me…. it arouses my suspicion, beautiful stranger. You seek coke-mothers out, crawl through this filth into the dark pits of no man's land for tales on a _stupid_ village…"

"A village you wish to return to" I murmur, grimacing as my nose stings exponentially, feeling the urge to sniff the air away-my senses begging me to leave the little badly ventilated room immediately.

"I do not wish to return" she scoffs. "That's why I ran away with my children"

"I don't think you ran away to be sifting cocaine till you were old and in need of a walking stick?"  
>"What do you want" she growls.<p>

"I want to take you back to the village" I say slowly. "And I will be your elusive guest… and I will give you instruction on finding out a few things for me"  
>"Why can't you just do this alone" she hissed.<p>

"A white man is seen as a threat by many in your village, no?" I ask softly. Now what more of a pale beautiful ghosting man…

"True" she nods her head stiffly and then snorts a little-her eyes never relenting on their paranoid scrutiny of my still form. "What will you do for me, white man?"  
>"I'll give your granddaughter freedom from a tyrant brother…" I breathe and I immediately realise that to give them both a more permanent freedom it will have to be in the death of Pedro.<p>

"That mean money?" she asks in English scowling, thinking of how if they are away from Pedro's ruthlessness she can send her granddaughter to school

"I will pay for her school personally" I say steely-her eyes widen at the accuracy of her request. "Do you agree to this?"

"I… I agree" she whispers, hope shining in her eyes. "Please, soon then… not another day of this!"  
>Xx~xx~xX<p>

It feels better when I am moving through this, when I still have purpose. The pain seems to intermingle with the notion that I would have brought her some form of peace. That I would have repented for ever stepping into her life and disrupting things if I clear this one mystery for her. She would never have to worry, she should never be allowed to sit and worry-worry of who she is.

I was never the most adept tracker but if I threw myself into this and used what I had-this very evil nature to benefit the good of my cause, I would surely succeed.

"Are you sure Pedro will not find us?" she asked again-timidly and then cast an anxious gaze over her shoulder expecting to see Pedro following. Expecting to see Pedro's short form bobbing over the many heads at the park-station, his oily face littered with various scars from various beatings and his thin dark hair whipping pathetically in the breeze as he sought to bring Margaret and Juanita back to were they wrongly belonged.

"You and your daughter I safe" I sighed, ignoring the ache in my throat and placing the shades over my head and bringing the large hat out of my bag. "I took care of it… Pedro will remain in Rio"

"Hmm" Margaret murmured, pausing with me as a car drove by us, her arms wound around her "You took care of it, huh?"  
>"I took care of it" I repeated, enjoying her ever pessimistic thoughts, more especially the way she didn't care whether or not my taking care of things would result in her grandson dead somewhere.<p>

"_He_ will pay for my school?" Juanita asked in Portuguese, eyeing me surreptitiously, her thoughts a tangle of blushing, hormones and wariness at this pale stranger who had rescued her grandmother and her.

"He understands you" Margaret replied smiling a little. "Yes… he had better"

"Or else…?" I challenged, smiling a little besides myself.

"You will see how crazy this old woman is" she hissed allowing me to lead her to the yellow car I had hired to take us half way through our journey; it was parked in the shade of a building like I had instructed the driver. The shade and shadows had been my ally all through the journey. The rest of the way required hiking and I wasn't sure how I was going to get around to acting human with that. I wasn't good at moving human slow for long periods of time…

But with Danishka I had wanted time to stand completely still and lock us in its sights forever.

"White Man?" the woman murmured and I saw through her mind how my face had twisted into an uncomfortable grimace-a slightly scary grimace that made Juanita hide behind her grandmother in confusion; her silly thoughts from a minute ago on how handsome I had been and how she hoped I would notice her flying out the window and replace with unease at having to travel alone with me for possibly three days.

"Call me Anthony" I breathed. "You can get into the car…"  
>They cast me one last confused look before allowing the driver to take their bags and load them in the boot of the car. I realised now that having the driver with us for hours would be putting a notch on my human interaction tally and I didn't want that. I didn't want too many humans remembering my face; it was okay for Margaret and her daughter who will be forever lost in their quite safe world after this…<p>

"I'll drive" I said coolly when the thin wiry man came to me expectantly.

He raised an eyebrow, revealing a yellow smile before shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What's that?" he said smiling again.

"I am taking your car" I said slow and deliberate and his eyes widened at the inhuman chill that ran down his spine. "Of course I will compensate you…"  
>I reached in my pocket and gave him three hundred American dollars for his banged up yellow car. He stared at the money in his hands in disbelief and looked at my face with narrowed eyes, trying to see into the shade I stood in, trying to get a visual of my face hidden behind the sunglasses and under the large cap. He was considering making a noise about this, cussing me out as a pompous American but then I took a step towards him and removed the shades, staring into his eyes and seeing the reflection of my dark tortured soulless eyes.<p>

"Leave" I growled and he spluttered, jumping back and shuffling through the crowd too quickly-deciding three hundred was all he would get for his car and possibly his life. It was a good deal in the end…

"Anthony?" Margaret murmured from the back seat, staring at my looming form beside the car. "How you going to drive…"  
>"I know the way" I cut her, moving to the drivers seat fluidly-a little too fast. "No harm will come to you under my care, I promised I would return you to your village and that's what's going to happen"<p>

"Who are you" Margaret asked in a lost dialect of Portuguese, her thoughts twining around the options of 'who' and 'what' with regards to me.

"A harmless traveller to you, Margaret" I whispered, looking at her worried ancient face through the rear view mirror. "Nothing but a harmless traveller through time"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**What can I say, review if you got something to share? **

**Like I promised, the diverging factor. It may get a big angsty and adult-y with very detailed elements and whatnot… so rating will change. If you are under the age of understanding that… I apologise.**


	17. Hidden Secrets

The thick tall trees knit over each square metre and fill the air in cool freshness and provide the necessary cover for me to move through the day. It's beautiful, it's breathtaking in its untouched quality and rawness but that very beauty is were the danger lies in.

As it is with all things...

"Are you sure..." Margaret asks again and I smile at her. The bags are not heavy but the anticipation is... for both of us.

How reckless it is for me to travel with a human, how utterly unequivocally callous to my own anonymity as a vampire it is-but it has given me a new insight on what it means to be an atoning predator. I have not fed in a _while_-Pedro's blood would have been the most tainting thing to my body in this moment; I could not move side-by-side with two traumatised women with eyes swimming with the blood of their relative and glowing like a demon.

We have been travelling for two days with regular necessary stops due to Margaret's health. She would rather remain quiet and go through the aches and pains to reach the place she was born quickly-but hearing her thoughts helps me a lot. It had bothered them to a diminutive measure how quiet I was and how easily I kept up the steady pace while carrying a load that would have rendered any normal man breathless within five metres of movement. They think I am eager for this but they don't understand that the human pace we are moving is a test to my patience.

I feel like scooping them both up in my arms and simply zooming the rest of the way...

But trust is important if I want to see this through.

And talking brings trust...

"You are yet to tell me the reason you are interested Peru" Margaret murmurs, taking a swig of water from the flask and passing it to me. I drink carefully; prolonging the moment I remove the water from my lips and prepare myself for a 'refreshed' expression.

"It is personal" I sigh, wiping the warmish liquid of my chin-a little clumsiness can help a great deal in appearing human.

The few drops of water churn in my stomach and with it, my throat groans and the monster whines.

"It better..." she begins her eyes flashing, handing the flask over to Juanita absently.

"It's not drugs or sex" I say dryly and she nods-she believes me and that gives me a little satisfaction. "Maybe a ten minute rest?"

"Make it five..." she says stonily, dropping her back at the base of a tree and reaching in her pocket for an ointment she uses to ward of the many insects. "And you can tell me why it is you are trekking in the jungle..."  
>"I can tell you some of the story" I murmur "Because in all honesty, I am hoping the jungle with shed light to why I am here"<br>"Cryptic" she laughs, her eyes crinkling in many lines at the corners. "But I am interested"

"I am looking for something" I say, shaking my head when she offers the little tin with the foul smelling ointment.

"Something like what?" Juanita asks, rubbing the green jelly like substance on her arms and legs.

"I don't know" I breathe, shifting into the shade of the tree "Maybe a rare flower, a magical fountain..."  
>"You aren't joking?" Margaret asks "You are really looking for something... that you don't know"<br>"Yes" I sigh.

"Is it like..."Juanita says thoughtfully, her mind whirling with little fantasies "A magic potion to heal a lover"  
>I chuckle and she blushes lightly.<p>

"Maybe..." I listen carefully to the sound of the wild-Margaret had been worried about the animals that resided in here but they knew there was greater predator in their midst. "Maybe that is exactly what it is"

Xx~xx~xX

I have travelled long enough to have a different type of awe to each scenery; a different type of appreciation to nature because I have seen it all twice over. The jungle in South America is _vast; _it spreads out through to so much land that one simply can't go _exploring _on a whim-this is a world that a conscious decision to get lost in the emerald giant foliage could only permit one to discover unknown realms.

"Almost there..." Margaret smiles "This is the middle of nowhere. I don't know how you are getting back... no cell phone reception, no other travellers... and definitely no Margaret"

"I have a good memory" I murmur.

"Would have to be iron, this memory of yours" she sighs wearily, her pace has slowed-I am surprised by her stamina with her age.

"Like stone engravings" I whisper, closing my eyes and seeing her blue ones staring up at me with undeserved trust.

"Stop!" I say quickly, tensing and dropping the backs. They pause, staring at my face in confusion but I can hear the thoughts, the angry cautious thoughts of another predator... one that had been following our scent or more precisely _my scent_...

"There are two..." I murmur, glancing at Margaret. If I allowed them to walk ahead, to move quickly and I remained here were the two vampires would come across me... maybe that would save them. I could apologise; blood drinkers were most ruthless with their territories. I would have to apologise and leave... through the water possibly...

But the vampires are quick and soon, they appear. I have no time to warn them, I have no time to apologise for the peril I have put them in...

Xx~xx~xX

"This is or territory" the woman murmurs, stalking me and paying no attention to Juanita and her grandmother. There is no need to worry about the two humans, she thinks I intend on feeding from them... they are just a meal... she would gladly allow me the humans if I were to leave their home immediately.

"I mean no harm" I announce, raising my hands palms up and backing away, trying not to stare at the male. He is undoubtedly human and yet... he mirrors her moves, he stands close to her and watches me with the sharpness of a vampire.

"Leave" he growls.

"You can take the women..." she says again, her red eyes flashing over Margaret's face-Margaret gasps, her thoughts a series of panicked flashes. She is in the midst of demons, she realises. I am a demon, she realises. She let a demon lure her away from the city, she cries internally. She had bargained her soul, she had bargained her grandchild... she was wading in sin...

"I was simply escorting them to their village" I state and the male snorts-it is a fluid sounds but it lacks the soft lustre vampires coat every abrupt human-like reaction in.

"We care not for your lies" she sighs "I see you are hungry, I willingly allow you the two... but leave"  
>"I am telling you the truth" I say seriously "I am escorting them to their village... it is only six hours away at human pace"<br>"We do not allow vampires in our territory" the male states "We live here in anonymity and cannot have any influx in deaths from the surrounding villages"

"I seek you no harm!" I stress. "I am searching for something... only. I won't hunt here..."  
>I would have told them I only feed on animals but with my eyes as black as death they would not believe me so readily and with the added anomaly of escorting humans through a dark and dangerous forest...<p>

"What are you searching for?" the vampire woman asked.

"I... don't really know..." I breathed, looking at Margaret. She was shaking, quivering-Juanita holding her in her arms. "No harm will come to them?"  
>"You are the only one here who has motive to harm them" the woman states, watching me charily with her body facing the boy in a protective stance. "What do you search for"<br>"I don't know" I said again and she snarled "I _really_ don't know"  
>"Where did this curiosity for this <em>something <em>start?" the male asked and if I had thought it was some sort of trickery-I was corrected. His heart was real and so was his ethereal beauty.

"My name is Edward Cullen" I stated closing my eyes and exhaling sharply "I come from a large coven..."

They panicked at that, hissing lightly; thinking I was trying to ambush them.

"No, I assure you I mean you no harm...?" I trailed off, giving them room to be familiar with me.

"I am Huilen" the woman said coolly "This is my nephew, Nahuel"  
>"Nahuel" I breathed unable to hide my fascination with him. "You are a vampire?"<br>"It matters not" he growled frowning beautifully "Where does this tale of enigmatic _something's _begin?"

"With a girl..." I said slowly. "A girl with blue eyes and skin the colour of cocoa..."

Xx~xx~xX

"Nahuel and I have never formally met any other vampires..." Huilen said indifferently-a lie, she knew of one vampire and others like Nahuel. She thought on other things absently, the contents of the thought lost till it re-emerged later on.

Huilen carried Margaret and Juanita's bags easily and leading the way- slightly irked at moving so slow. She was small, her arms thin and her skin much fairer than Nahuel's but the resemblance was there in the shape of their nose and hairline.

They were not bothered by the terrified humans as I was. I wanted to console Margaret on the loss of the young man she had thought she was becoming acquainted to on a personal level. No repeating of paying for college and helping Juanita calmed them; they were certain we were leading them to hell...

"Human's are not to know of our existence" Nahuel said softly-to low for the human women to hear.

"They don't know what we are" I say and then add "Or what _you _are"

"Do you not know of the villages in this area" Huilen snaps "They believe easily, they see and know the shadows of the trees and animals... discretion and distance is of the highest concurrence?"

"I promised I would reach them to the village" I whisper "I want it to be a promise I can keep... and I will _ensure_ it is kept"

"We seek no quarrel" Huilen sighs "The faster we leave these humans, the faster you leave our home..."

"Understood" I murmur, glancing at Nahuel.

Xx~xx~xX

The village is small.

The huts and shacks are the epitome of organic, the air filled with nature and pollen. They almost run through the woods, leaving their bags in the shrubbery in their fear. We watch them silently for a moment, we hear their screams and insistent murmurs of demons and I realise this would only be another tale to the long list of supernatural stories the villages contain.

How many times had they been touched by supernatural beings and left alive and with a stronger fear of the devil and more veneration for heaven?

Xx~xx~xX

"I was convinced she is human" I tell Huilen but it is Nahuel I watch.

His lips twitch slightly; he thinks on this other vampire-his father-and prays Danishka is not a lost sister of his. She can't be, he wars with himself. If what I say is true... she can't be... she is too far away, he thinks. She is too human...

"Is there more to this?" he asks. "How did you come upon the girl?"  
>"She came upon me" I whisper "My family..."<br>"I have never heard of such living from vampires" Nahuel says sceptically and Huilen nods in agreement.

"You have met but one vampire..."  
>they stop their walking, hissing low and glaring at me.<p>

"I spoke of her oddness..." I say slowly "Talents? I have a talent..."

"What talent... do you steal memories and secrets" Huilen accuses and I frown at the crude manner she has managed to paint my telepathy.

"I hear thoughts" I say dryly. They stare at me charily then, their lips set in an unforgiving line. "I am unable to 'turn it of' unfortunately"  
>"Hmm" Nahuel murmurs, resuming our too fast walking through the dark woods "My one sister has a talent"<br>"What kind of talent?" I ask him slowly-Huilen watches me, she doesn't trust me and fears Nahuel's blindness when it comes to his sisters. She fears that this father of Nahuel-Joham-has made another and Nahuel will-like all the other times-seek to save the poor girl from Joham's clutches...

"Persuasion" Nahuel states dryly, frowning "I have not seen her in a _while._ We had a falling out due to her gift and how willingly she allows J.. My father to utilise it"  
>"I understand" I tell him and he looks at me from the corner of my eye and smiles a little.<p>

"The girl... is her mother alive?" he asks.

"No" I say and he frowns again "The relevance...?"  
>"None of my sisters nor myself have mothers" he says softly "Human's... cannot survive immortal children"<br>"Immortal children and what you are, are two different things" I tell him-he retained the memory of his gory birth with titanium recall and equal unspoilt guilt "A half-vampire..."

If I were not in a form of emotional coma, if I could not stop thinking of azure and soft laughs-this would have returned to Carlisle immediately. The world retained so many hidden nooks for the impossible to happen... such impossibilities would grow and weave themselves through to so many lives and change what we perceived as ordinary... and even the extraordinary would go under reformation then...

Half-Vampire...

"You are a walking impossibility" I murmur and he frowns.

"I should not exist!" he growls "This, what Joham does, is abomination and the highest form of cruelty and I pray that this girl is not part of it!"

"I pray that Joham has..." I pause, stopping in the middle of the undergrowth... my form going rigid and the memory-her memory and her nightmare flashing over my eyes.

"The man with red eyes..." I whisper-feeling a mental coldness snaking around my mind, taking in Nahuel's own memory of this _father_ of his "It's him..."  
>"What is it?" Huilen asks from up ahead. She had deliberately kept her pace faster to allow Nahuel to spin out his story gently and ask his questions.<p>

"She has seen him!" I yell and he watches me guardedly. "Oh, heavens no...!"  
>"No, if she had met him..." he says softly, trying to calm me "She would be his... a half-vampire that is more human? He would not let her go so easily..."<p>

"Her grandmother moved her from country to continent..." I say fast, fisting my hair-my eyes moving over everything fast and throat constricting-I needed to feed but the fear and anxiousness was overwhelming...

"She kept her away from anything supernatural, she discouraged any odd behaviour... she deliberately moved them to the sunniest places on earth and it was her idiot stepfather who made Cindy take her away from all of that safety and bring her to fucking cloudy Forks!" I roar, all the little pieces clicking into place.

"She has a human relative?" Nahuel asks slightly in awe of the fact "A grandmother...?"  
>"Yes" I answer his thoughts, giving up my telepathic etiquette to allow him to voice them out "She grew human fast. She is human, as I have said-in all regards save for the thirst and supernatural episodes"<p>

"Talia" Huilen states and I stare at her-Nahuel sighing despondently and moving away from me.

I see the woman in Huilen's mind-I see the blue eyes like lightning, I see the small nose and all knowing smile... I see the woman, this _Talia_ and there is no doubt that the woman is the link to Danishka...

"She died" Nahuel states. "She was... my sister. The only one I stayed in contact with, she died more than a decade..."  
>"How did she die?" I say quickly.<p>

"He killed her" Nahuel murmurs almost too softly for my ears to pick up. "My... father. She ran from him, she... it was before Flora's gift was fully developed to _persuade _Talia to do Joham's bidding..."

"She ran after meeting Nahuel and I" Huilen said detached "She wanted what we have; a family. She ran and hid but Joham is more than a skilled tracker... he found her with a human and pregnant"

"What of the child?" I ask softly and they both look at my face.

"Died with the mother" Huilen says. "It was too human for Joham... of no use... he told Nahuel this"

"You are certain"  
>"No" Nahuel says before Huilen can voice her yes out. "I will tell you this, stranger; the village was half-empty, Talia had warned them and she had prepared... the man I know did not survive Joham's wrath but the child... I know not of the fate"<br>"She gave it to someone she trust" I thought, falling back to my perfect image of Danishka and the half-vampire Talia. "She is the mother, there is no doubt..."

"The grandmother's name?" Huilen asked.

"Pangra" I tell her.

"Pangra..." Nahuel says softly "Talia told me how she may not have found an Aunt like I had, but she had a sister left to her and she had a niece. I don't know how the name Pangra fits to that"

Pangra... Pangra was Danishka's aunt. Of course... but she was Cindy's real maternal grandmother, Pangra had a daughter and that daughter had been Cindy's mother; she lied to Hector that Cindy's mother had hid Danishka from him so he would take Danishka in... So she could ensure Danishka would be better protected in a normal anonymous life...

I had no care for Joham and his sinister exploits; how could I when mosaic of emotions where fleeting through me. I didn't know what this meant, I didn't know how to handle it but the feeling of solving it weighed down the guilt I felt in hurting her.

But did this mean I would have to return to her...?

Was this reason enough when she was safe in her anonymity to the vampire world...? I wanted her safe, and I knew now I had taken the right steps to achieving that but _knowing_ and _wanting_ this to be the right thing, were two different things.

"It seems..." I whispered looking through the forest to the North "I have found the answer to my question and I must... return to my family"  
>"Yes" Nahuel breathed, before looking at me intensely-his dark eyes severe and set "But if you would understand to do one thing for us; Joham is a very dangerous being... and if this Pangra knew enough to be anonymous then she has saved the girl. We seek the same fate..."<br>"I would not speak you" I said.

"We keep Joham in the past" Huilen murmured as they moved back into the shadows, understanding that our counsel had ended "And would not interfere on any future that involves him; especially with his _creations._ So understand us when we say we want nothing to do with her..."  
>He agreed silently and unwillingly with his aunt's decision to keep him away from his beloved sister's child. His aunt held him in her steel arms and understood the importance of remaining as they were... without spreading beyond their territory.<p>

"Goodbye, then" I murmured, making my way away from the jungle filled with secrets and to my family.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**No jokes, this needs prodding to continue at any real pace and with regular updates. **

**So review if it interests you, and if there is a problem do tell were it lies.**


	18. Footprints of Time

**THE FOOTPRINTS OF TIME**

How lustrous the way of the immortally damned might seem to simple men. Beauty unparalleled, speed and strength too vast to be challenged and years upon years of conscious imitation of living to be had... how seductive such a thing might be to any being with a heart beat. A being tinkering on the edge of life with each second of existence-mortals would think that having no fear of death something of the highest gift.

I did not fear death because death had no interest in harming me. I feared living, for some time... and then I realised I wasn't alive for life to be too concerned with me either. So I feared existing. I feared it painfully and it took me over... I wandered aimlessly searching for the meaning to this form Carlisle had turned my once fragile body into. No meaning, just... purgatory and desolate complacence.

Such wallowing sadness had been intensified when our duo turned to a trio but then, unwittingly-I adjusted. Existing side by side with two who were meant for each other. Maybe my purpose had been to bear witness to such a wonderful love between Esme and Carlisle. Jealously left me-not for Esme but for Carlisle's permanent happiness-and I accepted and conformed to their happiness.

The intensity of loneliness can only be increased in the presence of company. There they were, all of them... Rosalie with her Emmett, Alice and her Jasper and my parents-and I sat singular and eternal watching how they would never be alone in purgatory. They had been broken free from purgatory by finding each other. Purgatory was for the singularly existing... not for the dually in love.

The one thing that would surely kill a vampire-let's put aside the Volturi and their quick flames-the one thing that would bring a vampire to their knees, have them weep dryly and claw at their own hard flesh... was loneliness. Isolation and detachment from all things because all things were from the natural realm... how do you touch the natural without tainting it with these hard supernatural fingers?

And you would die mentally from this loneliness... and no one would weep because they would not know you were dead. Remember, Death has forsaken you... your only escape from existence would be to challenge it and close yourself from it.

To remain still as time moved by you.

Never to breathe or walk the earth again.

Lost in an ancient forest.

A statue in some cave.

Forever.

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

From all that I had learnt from my journey into only the outskirts of a deadly secretive Jungle, the truth had never been more apparent. I had to stay away from Danishka. I had to leave her small world that she and her sister had created in Forks. I had done the right thing in leaving her, I had done something true and good in letting her be in her beautiful enigmatic form.

Then what of me?

I should never have touched her conscious with the evidence of my presence in this world, I should never have sought her out and I should never have tilted my perfectly crafted sanity in this maddening loneliness with the idea that she was my saviour from existential isolation. And I didn't want to think it... it was such a cruel thing to allow to set root in my immense eternally awake mind for it would only grab hold and continue to grow...

Such a hopelessly cowardly thought to give way to and it hurt me so terribly, as the thought left my mind and travelled past the hollow darkness inside me-somewhere where my soul had resided in I imagined.

Had I not found some sort of balance inside me in this quiet purgatory? I had touched her with my presence, she had reached out and I had gladly taken her hand and led her to my secret place and she had comforted all those fears. Now, after meeting with the half-vampire Nahuel and learning of what she was and what danger I would put her in... She had turned so suddenly from 'Saviour of Edward' to 'Cruel Mistress'.

She had seduced me out of my cocoon of acceptance of isolation, I had tasted her sweet companionship and now, it was away from me and never to be tasted again.

Danishka, so innocent and unaware to this evil that you and I had performed in our equal loneliness; you have set about the steps to my madness. You have tilted that crafted sanity in this loneliness, and I would soon succumb to it...

You have made me realise that no family could shield me from that because what you gave me no other can ever attempt to measure out to in gift. I was alone. I was existing...

And it was only a matter of time before I found my little cave and died in my never decomposing body.

Xx~xx~xX

"Edward, please...!" Esme begged and I allowed my face to break into a pained grimace. Her sobs echoing in my mind even after she had stopped her crying, her pleas falling on me like blows but I had enough memory compassion after what intensity I had felt for Danishka to not indulge her and remain away from them; I knew I wouldn't stay long even if I attempted it and I knew they would not know how to handle this misery.

It would be a form of sadism on my part if I put them through that.

"No" I said after she was done crying, pleading and bribing me. "I won't come... and soon, I suspect-you will not be able to contact me, Mother"  
>"No" she said stubbornly and I chuckled morosely. She was very deceiving, my little mother; those doe like-eyes that had once made Carlisle feel so ashamed for having a... little male problem in quiet times, oddly enough mostly times when he was in the shower obsessing over his angel faced newborn. An innocence about her, a sort of vulnerability she exuded and she would spin it on its head by turning into a master craftsmen of guilt inducing love and dangerous mollycoddling. Not many could resist, and even now... a part of me contemplating treating her in her battle tactics.<p>

"Yes" I whispered and she returned to her other weapon-crying and pleading that I allow her to care for me. I had no doubt she would be able to but not for long. Not this time...

"Edward, do not do this..." this was Carlisle, his voice holding that telltale scratchiness that was lost to human ears "Please"  
>"Are you with Alice?" I asked and he sighed. "No" he said after a beat.<p>

"Alice, she left" he said, pausing again and then taking in a deep breath "She left without Jasper. You have hurt her, Edward"

"I know" I murmured. "If it's any consolation to the pain I have caused her, as terrible as I imagine-the pain I have caused Danishka may be greater but she will forget it with time. And to those two pains I have managed to manifest in them-the consolation lies here, Carlisle"  
>"Edward..." he said-dragging my name in warning and I sighed, finishing my poor apology.<p>

"The consolation here, Father..."I said controlled "...would be that I have destructed myself"  
>"Edward..."<br>"I should have stayed away in the end" I laughed cynically and then scowled at the sight of the setting sun dipping below some building opposite the mangy hotel I was in. Some inconceivable little town in one of the sunny states. "The pain I feel will encompass tenfold any pain anyone is holding due to my... stupidity and unfortunate blunder. I will pay dearly, I am paying dearly... and I will be paying for eternity"

"No one is looking for you to feel pain!" he gasped. "We love you..."

"You don't know what I feel, Carlisle" I murmured

"Then tell me!" he said impassioned and I imagined him pacing at the other end, wound up and blurring back and forth "Come to me, son... and tell me in person!"

"I don't know... how to ...continue" I said slowly and felt the stinging in my eyes, that crushing sensation the chest goes through in times of such sadness but no tears fell.

"Where did you go?" he asked, his voice shaking in a melodious vibration "Tell me about it, this thing that has made everything turn into darkness for you"

"I went to find out about her" I said numbly "And I found out. And now I know. And it all it means is that I really did do the right thing; I really can't be with her... even as we were. I am a danger to her, not because I would harm her but because I would bring harm to her"  
>"Edward... son, I know you are heartbroken" he whispered.<p>

"I have no heart to break" I said harshly. "I have a mind and emotions so resilient and permanent that this will never ever end. I will forever be in this pain. There is no cure to this poison. I am doomed"  
>"Edward..." he said my name like it was a rare flower, like it was already withering and dying; conviction lost because he knew me better than any other vampire. I seldom strayed from a choice made. I seldom took into consideration anyone else's opinion of such a choice.<p>

This was done.

I was saying goodbye now.

"You are wasting this goodbye, Carlisle" I said and he groaned. "Goodbye, Father"  
>"No" he cried. I cut the line, stared at the phone once, already vowing to never by the technology again and crushed it into grey plastic bits, the green memory chip spewing over like guts.<p>

"Goodbye" I looked out at the orange sky, maybe if I jumped high enough I would meet the flames of the sun in a fiery embrace and return to the earth as floating ashes.

Such idle thoughts. This was not going to be easy and once, long ago-a human lifetime had seemed as little as the seconds in a minute. But I knew, I would never be able to find my hidden cave to die from time until she had reached the limits of mortality...

And the seconds ticked hard and painful in my mind. Seconds upon minutes, giving way to hours...

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**DANISHKA NEBARI**

This was a-w-kward.

"... This is Charlie Swan" Cindy said smiling a little and then shuffling to her left and patting Bella lightly "And his daughter, they will be joining us for dinner"  
>"Why?" I blurted rudely, frowning at Isabella's beaming happy face.<p>

"Uhm..." she twisted her hands in each other, she pressed her lips together and then decided to ignore my question and led us all to the kitchen table "Well, this will have to serve as a dining table"  
>"That's okay Cindy" Bella's dad murmured in a dry sort of voice, already taking a seat like <em>he had been here before.<em>

"Bella, you can take a seat too" Cindy smiled at her and Bella did her nervous lip biting and blushing. I stood there, watching them like they were performing some sort of play for me in the kitchen.

"Danii?" Cindy murmured and I blinked dumbly at her. She had the chair pulled out for me, opposite Bella-all of them looking at me like _I was the mad one here._

"What in the name of all that is good...?" I began and then just shook my head, frowning at all of them "You are all mad. I will not participate in this madness goodnight."

And with that, I stomped upstairs leaving a spluttering Cindy calling me back.

Xx~xx~xX

I really don't know why I let Bella in when she knocked.

Somehow since I had woken up from my little blanket of misery, it was harder to be a brat about things. Just ignoring her timid knocks had crossed my mind, but then she started talking behind the door in a soliloquy like tone and she was never one for eloquence, it was turning into a verbal chainsaw massacre with each second I allowed it and in the end I had to take one for mankind...

"My dad hasn't been happier" she said-in a nutshell, after about seven minutes of talking.

"Cindy is twenty something, not even _late_ twenties" I stated. "Your Dad has a kid-_you_"

"She has you"  
>"I am not her kid" I said dryly.<p>

"But they like each other" Bella protested.

"Then they can like each other at _your_ house" I sighed, falling on my bed "Look, I am not going to get in the way of this weirdness or whatever, but I seriously don't want it in my face. I have been through a lot recently"  
>"We could be best friends"<br>"We are _barely_ friends" I said absently and she inhaled a shaky breath and let it escape in a pathetic sound that worked on my intolerance once more. "Okay, close acquaintances..."

"Why don't you come with me to the movies?" Bella asked "It's a whole bunch of us... you can get lost in the group"  
>"No"<p>

"It's not healthy to be alone when you are heartbroken"  
>"Don't talk about things you don't know about" I growled and she shrunk away from me.<p>

"Please?"  
>"No"<p>

"This has nothing to do with my Dad and your sister..." she explained and I cringed, she ignored it continuing with a little more conviction "I like you"  
>"I don't... uhm, I am flattered but..."<br>"Not in a romantic sense!" she blushed "Just, since I got here... you have been the one person who has been _real"_

"Gosh, I wish I had been more imaginary now" I said and she laughed.

"Will you come?"

"Just that once" I conceded wearily "And after that... no group anything. No formulating Lauren into my space"

"Lauren tends to formulate herself to any space" Bella sighed.

"She does, doesn't she"  
>"Will you come down..."<p>

"Not in a million years, your dad is ancient and a cop" I snapped and added lightly "I have been known to hang around some questionable characters"  
>"I know" she whispered blushing and my insides constricted; of course, besides my being 'real' with her, I had also been close to a boy she had somehow made herself fall in love with. A boy-a young man-who had wrenched my heart from my chest and clouded my mind of what little I knew about love and acceptance.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

It was going to be a disaster that was the only forecast I could give. Lauren would be most ruthless at my presence and I would be unable to hide the fact that I didn't want to be there...

I was the worst actress and this was the worst sort of script to ever be written. Hopeless teenage introvert amongst a group of boisterous teens... it was so played out...

"Hey"

Things got drastically worse.

"It's Jacob, right?" I smiled weakly at him, attempting not to swallow myself whole with embarrassment. Hadn't I blushed the last time we met... for this much younger boy...

"Like you forgot" he said cockily but it was that kind of arrogance that was impossible to be angered by; the mildly irritating kind that somehow managed to be endearing at the same time.

"Like I forgot" I said the words but without his slight cynicism, coating them in a sort of contemplation.

"Seems you and I stick out here" he sighed, gesturing at the laughing group in front of us; Bella was spreading herself thin as 'Movie Hostess'.

"Seems so" I breathed "Nothing new for me though..."  
>"Yes, you do look like the suffer in silence type" he said raising a full eyebrow; we shuffled a step forward in the movie line together.<p>

"Do I now?" I said, half listening to him and being lost in a painful memory.

"Yeah, you are definitely the 'misunderstood teenager'" he chuckled.

"And what, your parents understand you?" I asked him, snapping out of a world were I discussed how wrong the film industry had gotten vampire mythology with a real vampire.

"My dad... he lets me be me" Jacob sighed "When he isn't trying to let me be him"

"And your mum?"  
>"She died" he stated. "Oh, look... it's our turn to get a bit of Bella"<p>

"Guys!" Bella squealed "Uhm, what seats...?"

"Why don't we just give our tickets to the ticket guy, hmm Bells?" Jacob snickered, his eyes twinkling when he looked at her. She blushed, punching him lightly and stumbled into the dark cinema.

"So, still got a thing for Bella?" I whispered quickly to him and he paused abruptly in our dark trekking in the cinema and I collided with his back.

"Who said I had a thing to begin with" he hissed at me.

"Your eyes" I murmured "Very expressive globes, you have there Mr Jacob"

"You're absurd" he mumbled.

"You wouldn't be the first one to tell me that"

Xx~xx~xX

That's how it started and we became the strangest sort of trio. She would invite me to go with her to La Push-stating that Jacob enjoyed our little fights (for some unknown reason, Jacob and I were incapable on agreeing on anything, no matter how obvious the answer was).

I watched amused as Jacob's crush on Bella grew, and Bella's denial for his crush intensified in accordance to how obviously _unchildlike _Jacob was getting. He was about fifteen and looked nothing like it; tall, too muscled and with a certain maturity he carried to his day to day life. I only intercepted their little world during those many afternoons we did our homework together and bantered, but it was their world in the end. Jacob and Bella knew each other in a way that I could not ever hope to understand or become a part of. Their fathers knew each other, they had history and undoubtedly a future I had... I had my nights and other days alone, to ponder about _him _and where he was... if he had stored the memory of our time together somewhere far of and continued with his life as before.

Like I could ever forget him... how naïve he was or cruel to hope such a thing of me. Such a hopelessly cruel angel... and I didn't want to think if what he had said was true. That their being away would help me with the thirst. I didn't want to think about it as days stretched out before me and I had minor little throat sores, easily ignorable and I had accidentally smashed the glass tumbler in my hand after the loud bang of the window blowing shut had scared me. Minor incidents; nothing like killing ones cat and breaking the balustrade to a stairway...

It felt like an easier alternative to accept from the hell of wallowing in the memory of his face, voice and eyes.

"Danishka?" Cindy knocked on my bedroom door lightly "Bella is here for you..."

Xx~xx~xX

"...and he won't pick up my calls" Bella cried. "I told him I wanted to be friends!"

"Do you want to be friends?" I asked her and she frowned viciously at me, as though I was entirely retarded for asking that.

"No, he is what..." she looked away, leaning on her truck and scowling at the nearby forest like it too had accused her of being uncertain of her feelings "Fourteen"  
>"Fifteen" I corrected, she knew of course and of course she had thought of reciprocating Jacob's affection outwards but no matter how much a martyr for the socially ostracized Bella wanted to be; she cared about her title as one of the popular girls at school. Whether she would admit it to me or herself, it was there.<p>

"I am miserable" she sighed, gulping and wiping away a stray tear violently "This feels horrible"  
>"Has uhm..." I tried to recall the odd names of Jacob's friends and then gave up, I had only met them once and Jacob and Bella spoke about them too much that I had tuned that particular chatter out.<p>

"His friends?" I asked eventually and she sighed.

"Embry started hanging out with that gang..." Bella breathed "Quil... haven't seen him. Billy said Jake is sick with mono so..."  
>"So maybe he really is sick" I sighed, my patience waning.<p>

"Maybe, but he is avoiding me" she said in a defeated tone.

"I don't know what... I can do"

"No, it's okay..." Bella sighed, entering her truck. "I'll see you at school, Dan..."

"School" was all I managed to say, watching her drive out.

Xx~xx~xX

"He still hasn't called or returned your texts?" I asked her, worried beside myself.

I wasn't really used to having such connections with other people; worrying about them and such, but Jacob... Jacob was all about Bella. It would have been a great shift in nature for him to ignore her and be away from her for a good three weeks...

"No" she murmured miserably, shuffling besides me towards our cars. It was Friday, and Cindy and her Dad were going out to someplace that I had no intention of knowing of. This Jacob thing would soon turn into me babysitting her... Bella was alright, if Jacob's wit was there to buffer out her slight self-obsession...

"And the worst thing is..." she breathed shakily, gulping back tears "I saw him!"  
>"So why didn't you just..." I began but she spun on her heels and pressed her lips together controlled before spewing what I could only imagine to be a good few hours of held back angst.<p>

"He was across the hill... you know, the one where there is that dangerous turn" she said illustrating with her hand; waving it haphazardly in the air "Over the seas by that really high cliff!"

"Uh..."

"He was cliff diving with them!" She hissed. "Sam and them. And he said he didn't like them... he said he didn't like the gang and there he was, Danii!"

"Uhm"

"And I saw them twice, worst part...!" she continued "After Billy told me he was in bed sick!"  
>"Okay, Bella maybe if..."<br>"So you know what we are going to do?"

"No?" I breathed exasperated by her rant.

"We are going to go hiking to that cliff and confront him" she said impassioned, nodding her head. "Bye Danii"

"Bella?" I said dazed but she was already fussing with her seatbelt and closing the door.

We had a day to be without Cindy and Charlie and she wanted to spend it searching for Jacob in the woods. And she thought I would willingly sacrifice such freedom to be away form Cindy and her hints that if I didn't get out of my sullenness I would be going on a trip to Grandma.

"You just might be on your own there, Bells" I sighed, driving my shaking car to the library.

Xx~xx~xX

"Danishka"

"Alice... is that really you?" I whispered, peering through the shadows of my room. I moved quickly to the wall and flicked the light on. It was her, she was here... she stood before me pale and wonderful as she had always been.

"Alice" I breathed and she smiled sadly. "It is you, you are here..."  
>"Danii" she said smiling sadly and reaching her dainty alabaster hand out to me. I moved lethargically towards her and brushed her cold fingers with my own. "You are alive!"<p>

"Huh?"

"I thought I was too late" she said quickly, moving to the window and peering into the dark outside and frowning slightly. "I thought he had gotten to you?"  
>"Who?" I asked softly standing beside her and squinting through the darkness. "Who Alice?"<p>

"Laurent of course!" she hissed. "I tried to contact Edward but he..."  
>"Edward, is he alright?" I asked hurriedly gripping her arm, she frowned at my hand on her arm.<p>

"Ouch" she smiled "A little too strong for a human there, Nebari"

"Sorry" I released her arm and flexed my fingers, the blood rushing in my ears. My palms were sweating and I could feel every beat of my heart. Edward...

"He has gone into isolation" Alice said. "I saw the vision recently; I tried to contact him... well, I decided to take matters into my own hands"  
>"I am fine" I said stonily. "Will you... will you leave... now that you know?"<br>"Yes" she whispered, looking at me sadly "I have to, eventually... I came because I love you, you understand that?"

"I... fine"

"Danii, he loves you" she whispered.

"Right" I snorted "That's why he dumped me in the forest"

"Dumped...?"  
>"You know how I meant it"<br>"I know you love him too" Alice said and I remained silent. What did I know about love...?

"So Laurent would come for me" I said "Why him... he wanted no part in everything in the end"  
>"I don't know" Alice said.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"She is safe" Alice breathed and the rest was said to fast for me to catch. She closed the phone with an easy twitch of her hand and looked sharply to her left. "I didn't see that..."

"See?" I asked her, staring at the closed blinds dumbfounded-my heart hadn't stilled since I had found her in my room.

"The Swan girl" she said turning her body fully towards the window before glancing at the door. "Someone is with her"

"How do you even..." I began but then just left it, moving towards the door and awaiting Isabella's knock impatiently. I could hear her fumbling steps and then stronger and yet more fluid footfalls resonated after her own.

The door knocked twice and I opened it quickly. She blinked at me, startled with her hand hovering in the air for a third knock and took a step back straight into Jacob's shirtless chest.

"Bella?" I said and my eyes slid from her perplexed face to Jacob's angry vicious glare. I instinctively moved behind the door, contemplating shutting it in both their faces for some unknown reason.

"There is a..."Jacob began and then shuddered, shaking his head hard before returning his acidic stare at me. "You have a guest with you"

"So" I said, quirking an eyebrow.

"It shouldn't be here..." he murmured low and Bella frowned back at him, a look of indignation on her face.

"Jacob... it?" she breathed. "Seriously?"

"You saw... you saw the..." he was shaking and shimmering. He shook his head again and closed his eyes tightly. "Bella, please leave... go back to your car. I need to talk to Danii and... The Cullen..."  
>"Edward is back?" Bella asked loudly and pushed forward, shoving the door and me aside and hurrying in my house, ignoring Jacob's hand trying to reach for her. She walked in rudely, turning her head this way and that and when she saw Alice standing still and neutral in the middle of the kitchen she gasped softly.<p>

"Alice Cullen?" she asked, her eyes wide. Something about her expression gazing at Alice was off, something was wrong...

"Bella" Alice's clear voice rang through dead quiet space. She ignored Jacob's ferocious look and looked at Bella contemplatively "Alive and well, I see..."

It all fell into place then; I was supposed to go with Bella hiking today. She wanted to make it to the cliff face she had seen Jacob and his new friends jump off and confront him or something. I had needed a distraction from life. Laurent... my dreams... he had been in the woods. Bella and I were supposed to be dead...

"No thanks to you!" Jacob growled and I snapped my head from Bella to him. He smelt like the forest, like something wild and untameable. "We... we..."  
>"You took care of it?" Alice pieced the weird puzzle and I looked at her questioningly. "I trust our... agreement with your fathers still stands?"<p>

"Of course" Jacob spat. "Bella, we should leave. Yes, let's leave... she wants to be here with it"

He meant me, I was the one who wanted to be here... with it? He knew, how could he know and how could he take care of 'it'... I was staring at Jacob in fear; fear of the information he held and sudden intense pain when he gave me one last disgusted reproachful look as he backed out of the house.

"He knows!" I breathed as Isabella's truck roared away from us.

"What does it matter?" Alice asked sadly "He wont tell"  
>"He... what?" I stammered.<p>

"He wont tell" Alice said. "Unless he wants us to uncover the fact that he is a werewolf"

"What the fuck!?" I yelled, fisting my hair.

"A werewolf... oh, Danii please..." she appeared in front of me and tugged my hands away form my hair easily "Your hair is already in such a state, lets not let theatrics turn it into an irrecoverable disaster?"

Xx~xx~xX

The night seemed endless, with Alice there with me... telling me all the things the Cullen's had been up to. Their many little meaningless immortal trivia's and adventured. Her Jasper, Carlisle and Esme and even Rose and Emmett.

He wasn't with them. He hadn't been with them in a while... but he had phoned and that was what mattered, she assured me. Could I be assured at this point?

"I have a ticket..." I told her, letting her conduct her meticulous manicure on my nails. "To South America... well, Cindy had gotten it as a threat but I guess I really should use it now"  
>"Yes" Alice sighed, closing the red varnish "You really should get a change of scenery from all this rainy gloom and besides... the neighbourhood seems to have a new infestation of stray mangy dogs"<p>

I looked up at her reproachfully and she smiled sheepishly. "He was a friend to me, you know" I told her seriously.

"Well, now he can be a pet..." Alice said matter-of-factly.

"Bella is a friend too" I whispered "And she... she likes him in her way. And they compete my little world here"  
>"I understand" she whispered. "But werewolves are not good company"<br>"And vampires are?" I challenged and she smiled a small sad smile.

"No, I guess we aren't... are we?"

"Not particularly..." I sighed, falling back on my bed and staring at the crimson colour coated on my nails. "I will see him again. I will. I am adamant about that"  
>"You can't find him if he doesn't want to be found" she told me.<p>

"He wants to be found... just by the right person" I whispered, closing my eyes and pulling on an image of him smiling at me.

"And you are certain you are the right person?" Alice asked.

"You and I both know I am" I told her a little a little haughtily and she laughed. "Will you be gone when I wake up?"  
>"Yes" she murmured. "I will"<br>"Hmm" I sighed, letting the edges of sleep consume me. "Me too. I will be gone... a change of scenery and a relationship to mend... I do miss my Grandmother"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Well, reviews greatly appreciated! **


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